Chapter 18
Aubrey
There’s only one person who can help me with this—Kristin Proctor, the President’s Chief of Staff.
Finn was kind enough to pass along her personal number after the summit in Ottawa, and we’ve spoken a few times since.
Mostly revolving around policy President Taylor would like Olivia to champion, but she’s had her own relationship drama and understands what I’m dealing with.
She picks up on the second ring. “Aubrey,” she greets, her tone friendly but professional.
“Hi, sorry to bother you, there’s been a complication.”
There’s muffled talking, as if her hand is over her phone, then she tells me, “Okay, I’ll call you back when I get to my office in a few minutes.
” After what feels like an hour—not six minutes—she calls me and I immediately pick up.
“Talk to me. Are you having issues with rolling out the expanded lunch program?”
“No, this is more of a personal call.”
“Ah. Well, let me guess, the hot Canadian? Which one is giving you grief this time? The puppy dog Isaac Banks, or the tall drink of water that had you all twisted up after the summit?”
“Olivia hired Jamie as a senior advisor.”
“So, you’re going to be his boss? Kinky.”
“Very funny. This is serious! He won’t be reporting to me, but…”
“But what? Don’t tell me he has a little crush on you? How old is he anyway? From what I hear, I’m pretty sure I’m old enough to be his mother.”
“He’s… young,” I hedge. “Twenty-six.”
“Fucking hell, Bree. I get wanting to have a fling while you were in Canada, but you have to know how bad the optics will look if anyone finds out. It’s only a matter of time before you’re showing, and everyone will assume it’s his. Then what? If you break up, he’ll look like an asshole dad.”
“This is why I wanted to talk to you about this. Jamie’s good at his job, and will make a great addition to her team, but Olivia’s lovestruck right now.
Her rose-colored glasses are making it hard for her to see what a terrible idea it would be for me to date him.
She just shrugged it off as I could let HR know if Jamie and I were together. ”
“What do you want me to say? Are you looking for validation? Permission to fuck him? Want me to convince you it’s a bad idea? Or do you just need to vent?”
“All of it,” I sigh. “I need someone to be honest with me.”
“You know how complicated my own relationship is. I’m not attending events on his arm, we never have PDAs; we like to keep everything quiet.
It works for us. So, you have two choices: enjoy each other behind closed doors, or sacrifice not only your careers but potentially Olivia’s as well.
How will it look if it gets out? He worked for Isaac, who—may I remind you—resigned so he could run off into the sunset with his one true love.
” I can feel the air quotes from here. “Putting out that fire was a pain in my ass. Now, after Jamie worked for Isaac, he gets a huge promotion being a Senior Advisor for Olivia, and he just so happens to be fucking her Chief of Staff. If you want to be together, the only way it would work is if you two get married.”
“Married?” I squeak. “I’m not going to marry a man I hardly know.”
“Welcome to politics, babe. Nearly everyone I know marries for power or money. Most of the time, it’s both. Olivia has the potential to run for a higher office after a few terms as Governor, and the stakes will also be higher. So, pick your poison: secret lover or husband.”
I groan, hating how she’s right. “What would you do?”
“I’m fine keeping my love life private, so I’d pick door number one.
But I also don’t have children of my own to worry about.
If you fast-forward ten years or twenty, would you be happy being a single mom who had to hide her relationship?
How will that affect your kids growing up?
Jamie won’t get to attend their first soccer game or concert.
He won’t get to be there when you send them off to college.
The choice isn’t as easy as you think, but you don’t need to decide today.
Have an open and honest conversation with him.
He needs to understand the risks are greater than I think both of you realize. ”
“Thank you for being a voice of reason. I think I just got caught up in the whirlwind of today. I’ve never been so”—I wave a dismissive hand even if she can’t see it—“not myself.”
“It probably doesn’t help that you’re in the first trimester.
When my sister was pregnant with her twins, she was also a bit impulsive.
Maybe try a journal? Paper, in case you get hacked, and figure out what you really want.
And talk to him. He may be young, but a man doesn’t uproot his life like he did after a casual hook-up.
He could’ve been hired by anyone. You didn’t hear this from me, but he was offered a job handling PR working for my brother-in-law who owns a bunch of casinos on the East Coast. Jamie could be a millionaire right now, but he’s in California with you. Just… something to think about.”
“Ugh, I take it back! You’re just as bad as Livy.”
“Am I? Or are you just forgetting you’re no longer twenty-six?
Remember what it was like to meet someone, sparks fly, and you have sex in positions you only read about in books?
You know, the good ol’ days. That’s what this guy is probably high on.
He isn’t jaded by divorce or, you know, being a woman in a predominantly male field.
What I would do to go back in time and live a little.
Hell, he probably still believes Santa is real. ”
A laugh bubbles out of me, remembering how life used to be before, well, life. “Thank you, truly. I needed that.”
“In all seriousness, my sister waited for years to be with the man she loves. If he’s worth it, he’ll wait for things to settle down. Figure out what you want, then be the badass woman I know you are and make a plan, then grab it by the balls.”
While we may not have known each other for long, Kristin feels like an older sister I never had. We say our goodbyes, and I can’t wipe the smile off my face. Taking her advice, I take out a notebook and start a good old-fashioned pros and cons list, secretly hoping the pros outweigh the cons.
Pros
Sinfully handsome
Brilliant marketer
Amazing in bed
Best cuddler
Plant daddy
Great sense of humor
Cons
Too young
Works for Olivia
Will probably leave me as soon as the baby is born
I cross out the last one because it’s speculation. Opinion is one thing; making up stories about the future will not be part of either the pro or con list. I’ll need to add to it, but with my next meeting in five minutes, I leave it for later.
The afternoon is busy, and I haven’t had time to eat since my slice of avocado toast. My stomach is growling, and as I’m wrapping up an email, there’s a knock at my door.
Usually one of my assistants pings me when someone is here to see me—except for Olivia, who waltzes in whenever she pleases—but she doesn’t give me a name.
As I glance at the time, I don’t have to guess who it might be.
Rounding my desk, I brush my hands down my skirt, annoyed Jamie confiscated my underwear and bodyshaper.
I feel flabby and gross—not exactly date material.
As I open the door, my heart and pussy involuntarily flutter.
Jamie has ditched his jacket, with his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows, holding a red rose similar to the one on his tattoo.
He’s not wearing his white shirt and navy slacks, instead wearing all black, just like he often did in Ottawa.
When the hell did he have time to change?
I quickly peek out to make sure no one is seeing this beautiful man whose intentions are obviously clear.
His searing gaze rakes my body, but before I can let my nervous system react, I drag him inside.
“What are you doing? What if someone saw you?”
“I told you I’d be here at six, and I'm a man of my word.”
Once the door clicks, I rush over to my desk to ensure my little pros and cons list is not visible.
I tuck it into my drawer and lock it. As I glance up, he hasn’t moved from the door, resting his back against the hard wood with one hand in his pocket and the other twirling the rose between his fingers.
Every part of me wants him to storm over and bend me over my desk, wanting to forget what Kristin warned about.
If this is just physical between Jamie and me, it won’t last. If it’s supposed to be something more, I can’t let him kiss me every time we’re alone.
“So, where are we going to dinner?” I finally ask as I begin to pack up my bag.
“Does it matter?”
“Yes, because I need to know if I should leave my jacket here or not.”
“Wear whatever you want. It doesn’t matter to me.”
Jamie pushes off the door, and before he can make it to my desk, I blurt, “Why don’t you have a seat?”
He freezes, but only for a few brief seconds. “What is this about?”
“We need to talk, and I can’t risk it happening in public where literally anyone could hear.”
“Okay.” His lips tilt up in a little smirk, but it’s gone just as quickly as he sits in one of the chairs across from my desk. “What do you want to talk about?”
“I told you I needed to talk to someone, and I did.” Not wanting this to feel like a weird power dynamic, I round my desk and sit beside him in the other chair. “If we do this, we have to be careful.”
“And by ‘this,’ you mean…”
“You and me. You have to understand the stakes if you want to be seen in public with me as anything other than a fellow staff member.”
With a small huffed laugh, Jamie sets the rose on my desk. “I told you, I’ll quit if I have to.”
“It isn’t that simple. You used to work for Isaac and there’s public record that you’re now one of Olivia’s advisors. Also, there’s—”
“The fact that you’re pregnant and the world will think it’s mine? Do you think that wasn’t the first thing I considered before accepting the position here?”
“Fuck,” I chuckle, then sigh. How is he a step ahead? “Well, yeah. That.”
“Have you ever checked my CV?”
“No,” I admit, hating that I feel unprepared. “We were a little busy today.” My cheeks heat as I recall him pulling me into one of the storage closets earlier. I cross one leg over the other in hopes of keeping my hormones at bay, missing my underwear.
“I graduated top of my class from University of Toronto. Marketing is more than networking, graphic design, and branding—it’s analytics and combating algorithms that keep changing.
It’s research-based. So, I did my research.
” Jamie shifts his chair to face me, then grips the arms of mine to mirror him.
“I’m not saying we need to slap a label on this, or share with the world that we’re dating.
I just want a chance to see if I’m right that there’s more here than orgasms and flirting. ”
I glance down to my finger, fidgeting with the dry skin around my tattoo.
I should’ve put another bandage on, but since the cat is out of the bag, I figured there was no point.
Now I wish I could cover the little ant.
“This is bigger than you and me. Not only am I pregnant, but if it gets out that we’re together—not that we’re together—but if that’s what the media is saying, it’s as good as true.
And if that’s the case, then it could look like you were hired because of this, or even because of Isaac and Olivia’s relationship.
Then when you realize it’s too much and we break up—”
“I’ll stop you right there. You’re right, but only about how it could blow up in the worst way. So, I’ll make you a deal.”
Shifting my gaze from my lap to him, I rush out, “What kind of deal?”
“At work and in public, I’ll keep my hands and my mouth to myself.”
“And your cock?”
“And my cock,” he confirms with a laugh. “We’ll remain professional in all public settings… for now.”
My levity ceases, and I sigh, “What do you mean for now?”
“Until we decide together that it’s okay for the world to know you’re mine.”
Ten years ago, I would’ve melted into a damn puddle hearing that.
Now, I’m still a little gooey, but this isn’t a movie or one of my favorite books.
Here in the real world, we don’t have the luxury to indulge ourselves.
“Jamie, as hot as that line is, there’s more to worry about than me being single.
There’s my career, your career, Olivia’s legacy…
and my baby. We both have to be a thousand percent sure this is more than two people who had an amazing week in Canada.
Until then, whatever happens needs to be behind closed doors, away from work. ”
“Perfect.” He stands and offers his hand. “Do we have a deal?”
I place my hand in his, spotting his missing watch and bandage. “Yes.”
“Then shall we?”
“Shall we what?”
“We have plans tonight, Ms. Raine.”
As he helps me up, we’re too close, and this is exactly why all of this is dangerous.
His adorable boyish grin appears and forget being gooey—I’m the damn puddle.
“Just dinner, Mr. Wilson?” He doesn’t reach for me, and I keep my hands to myself.
“I won’t need to worry about being dragged into the bathroom to be bent over? ”
Jamie tilts my chin with his thumb and forefinger, and I anticipate a kiss that never comes.
He leans in, our noses brushing, and my entire body aches for him to own me like he did earlier.
He doesn’t, instead pulling back, and quietly asking, “You want me to fuck you so hard you nearly pass out? I’m up for the challenge, but like you suggested, it’ll have to happen at your place or mine.
We made a deal, remember. I’m a man of my word, so no matter how much I want to slip my hand under your skirt right now to see how wet you are for me, you’ll need to wait for later.
Also, we have dinner reservations we’re going to be late for. ”
“And what if this all goes south?”
“Then I’ll try again until I get what I came here for.”