13. Chapter 12
Chapter 12
Doug
N o way in hell was I declining her offer and missing out on the opportunity to talk to her for a little while longer. There’d been a few tense moments when she asked about my family, and I needed to redeem myself for behaving like an ogre. This would give me a chance to show her that wasn’t the real me. I was still on edge after getting a phone call from my mother reminding me that my nephew was turning six in a few weeks and asking if I’d be home for his party.
I wouldn’t, which irritated her. Nothing new there .
None of that was Beth’s fault.
After Beth let us in, I closed the door and locked it out of habit.
When Beth asked me if I wanted coffee or sweet tea as we walked towards the kitchen, I confessed that as a northern guy sweet tea wasn’t a normal choice for me, but I’d grown to like it since moving south. Which had surprised me; the only iced tea or sweet tea I’d had back home was from the store and it was always too sweet for my taste. Homemade sweet tea in the south is so much better.
Beth handed me a tall glass filled with ice cubes, amber liquid, and a slice of lemon. “Sometimes I add fruit, but this batch is just plain black tea.”
“Thanks.” She watched as I took my first sip. It could have been the worst tea I’d ever had, but I wouldn’t have told her. Lucky for me, it wasn’t. “It’s delicious. Way better than the stuff I buy at the store.”
“Thank you.” Her cheeks turned the cutest shade of pink.
“Beth,” I waited for her to look at me, “I’m sorry about earlier. I’m not close with my family, and we recently had a,” I searched for a word better than fight, “disagreement and it’s still pretty fresh.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s never okay for me to be rude,” I said. “I’ll do better next time.”
“Thank you for explaining. And Doug, if you ever don’t want to talk about something, it’s okay to say so.”
“Noted.” I held my glass up and she tapped hers to mine.
We talked for a few more minutes. When I saw her look at the clock on her microwave, I asked, “Time to go?”
“It is.”
I hid my disappointed while I finished the last of my tea and rinsed out my glass.
“I had a great time today and would like to take you out to dinner.”
When she lifted her caramel eyes to mine, I held my breath, resisting the urge to brush a wayward curl off her face, while I waited for her to answer.
I’d been building up the courage to ask her out for the last three months, and now that we’d had our first date, there was no point pretending I wasn’t hooked.
“I’d like that.”
I smiled as I released my breath. I’d been worried she’d hesitate after my attitude earlier. Other than that, I thought the date had gone well, and believed she felt the same. I considered myself to be good at reading people, a necessary skill in my line of work, and a helpful one in everyday life. Usually I trusted my ability, but today was different.
Because you’re nervous .
“Good.” I couldn’t stop smiling. “Can I call you later to schedule?”
“Sure, Chase is in bed by seven-thirty,” she said as she walked me to the door, “so any time after that is good.”
I wanted to kiss her, feel her soft lips on mine, but it felt wrong to ask for one after a lunch date. Instead, I lifted her hand and pressed my lips to the back of it. “Thank you for a wonderful afternoon.”
“Thank you, Doug.”
#
It was still early, so I decided to go to the range and get in some trigger time. I went at least once a month, sometimes more if my schedule allowed. I’ll be happy when the SSI range is done .
The builders were making great time on the training building, having already laid the concrete foundation and put up the walls. A second set of contractors recently broke ground on the outdoor range, but it was a long, drawn-out process to build a hundred-yard range.
The indoor range would be a two-story, twenty-yard open range, allowing for everything from introduction classes to multiple level room clearing. The ranges were ambitious and would take another six to eight months to finish because SSI wasn’t taking out loans to pay for it. They don’t have to. The Parker County and Weatherford police departments had invested heavily in the training center, allowing them full use for their officers. SSI was footing the rest of the bill.
I stopped at home to grab my range bag, rifle, and training log.
After fifteen minutes of shooting, I assessed my targets. Not my best day . Most people would look at them and be happy, but I was capable of better. I’d let my mind wander. Never a good idea with a lethal weapon in your hands.
I took a few deep breaths and cleared my mind of all thoughts of Beth.
For the next half hour, I shot with the speed and precision I expected from myself.
The first thing I did when I got home was clean my guns. Afterwards, I jumped in the shower. My mind drifted to Beth as I lathered up— she looked beautiful in her sleeveless top, and slacks that accentuated her curvy hips.
An image of Beth wearing jean shorts and a loose-fitting American flag decorated tank at the Fourth of July BBQ flashed through my mind. My dick went hard.
I laughed at the memory—I’d come ‘this’ close to asking Jamie who the beautiful woman standing next to his Mom was. Though I would have left out the word beautiful because I wasn’t the type to broadcast my attraction.
Then I heard John yell. We were being rowdy while playing corn hole and aiming the bags at each other instead of the holes in the boards. It wasn’t until I saw Chase that I realized the beautiful woman was Beth. She looked different with sunglasses covering her eyes and her curly brown hair framing her face.
That was the first time I’d seen her curls, and I’d been dreaming about running my hands through them ever since.
I took care of myself in the shower, imagining my hands clutching her curls while she was on her knees in front of me.
After throwing on shorts and a t-shirt, I tossed the clothes I’d been wearing in the washer.
I grilled a burger and made myself a Right Side Old Fashioned, a recipe I’d duplicated from my favorite bar in Chicago. Savoring the sweetness of the drink, I reflected on my date with Beth.
The conversation had flowed, and we’d been comfortable enough to feed each other bites of our meals. I wouldn’t normally do something so intimate on a first date, but it’d felt natural with Beth.
When should I tell her I’m sterile ?
The fact that I was already thinking about it was eye opening. I’d dated since my divorce but hadn’t considered telling any of them since I couldn’t imagine a future with them.
One lunch date with Beth and I’m already thinking about it.
Which was good in the sense that I liked her enough to be thinking about a possible future.
And bad, because it’d hurt like hell if she dumped me because I can’t have kids. I didn’t know if she wanted more kids, or if she’d be open to adoption.
Not exactly first date questions.
But they lingered in my mind. I needed to tell her sooner rather than later; it wasn’t fair to either of us to wait until we were invested in the relationship. I didn’t want a repeat of what happened with Jane.
The memory of my ex-wife’s high-pitched voice as she hurled insults at me still stung. According to her, I’d destroyed her dreams, wasted years of her life, and no woman would ever want me because I was half a man.
I can’t believe how fucking blind I was . How many red flags I’d missed, excuses I’d made.
Was I doing the same thing with Beth? Was I ignoring red flag behavior because I wanted to believe she was different?
No way .
I made myself a second Right Side and drank it down quicker than normal. The burn in my throat brought me back to the present. I made another, picked up the Clancy thriller I’d started last week, and sipped my drink while I read.
The distraction was exactly what I’d needed.
After I finished the novel, I went right back to thinking about Beth. But this time without my ex’s voice bouncing around in my head.
I’ve learned a lot in the last five years .
Including how to read people and how to spot red flags. I felt like I had a good read on Beth and had to trust the Sheppards wouldn’t love her as much as they did if she was a bad person. So, while I couldn’t predict how she might react when I told her, I took comfort in trusting her not to verbally attack me.
I was about to turn on a movie when my phone buzzed.
Beth.
Thank God no one can see me smiling like a teenage geek who just got a compliment from the head cheerleader.