26. Chapter 25
Chapter 25
Doug
B eth wanted to drive, so I folded myself into her small green four-door sedan. On the drive to Jack’s, she laid out the ground rules: keep an eye on Chase at all times, he tends to wander when he gets excited or hyper focused, and we don’t let him stop and look in the shop because he’ll want to buy all the things, especially in the shop near the dinosaur exhibit.
“I usually hold his hand and drag him to the exit.” She said, shaking her head.
“Anything else?”
“Be patient.”
“Copy that.” I reached over and squeezed her hand to let her know it’d be okay. I understood her nervousness, even if I didn’t like it. Inviting me to join them today was a big step for her. She didn’t have to tell me how worried she was about getting Chase involved; it showed in her actions. I didn’t blame her. In fact, I respected her for it.
When she asked me this morning, I was surprised and honored. It was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up. Chase was a good kid, and if I wanted to be a part of Beth’s life, I had to be a part of his. I was okay with the package deal.
Hell, I wanted it, because the only way I could be a dad was through adoption. Reality crashed down and rained on my parade. I still hadn’t told Beth I wasn’t quite the man she believed me to be. I need to tell her soon, before I fall too deep .
I asked Beth if she wanted me to wait in the car when we got to Jack and Jamie’s, but she said no.
“It’s not like they don’t know we’re dating, or that I spent the night at your place.” Her voice wavered as she said it.
She was pretending it was no big deal, but it was. Because she wasn’t just confirming she’d spent the night with me, she was broadcasting that I was spending the day with her and Chase.
A declaration they wouldn’t miss.
Knowing she was ready to shout it from the rooftops was an ego boost. One that comes with a fuck ton of responsibility . I held my head a little higher as Beth rang the doorbell.
When Jack opened the door, he acted like it was no big deal for me to be with Beth, picking up Chase. If it hadn’t been for the quick rise of his eyebrow when he saw me, I would’ve thought he’d been expecting me all along.
Chase cut our greeting short when he came running to the door yelling, “Mommy Mommy Mommy.” He wrapped his arms around her legs and said, “I had so much fun but I missed you and Auntie Meg let me help her make pancakes this morning and …”
He stopped when he saw me standing beside his mom. “Mr. Doug why are you here with my mommy?”
Kids. No fucking filter. I got down on one knee and held out a fist. “Hi Chase.”
“Mr. Doug is coming to the museum with us.”
“Yay!” Chase jumped up and down, clapping his hands. Then with the enthusiasm only a kid can have, he launched into a breathless list of things he wanted to show me. “I’ll show you all the dinosaurs and the rocks and swords and there's a submarine and-”
“Why don’t you let us come inside.” Beth turned Chase around and ushered him into the room. She looked at me, raised her eyebrows, and shrugged. I snickered as I followed her into the living room.
When Beth asked, Meg said Chase was well behaved. Chase echoed his agreement.
I felt Jamie and Jack’s eyes on me as Beth and Meg talked. I tried to ignore them, not wanting to answer their questions. I’d have to eventually, but not today.
Beth thanked everyone for watching Chase, then grabbed his suitcase as she started saying goodbye.
The gentleman in me couldn’t let her carry bags while my hands were empty, so I took the suitcase. I didn’t miss the nods of approval.
As we were walking out, Jack said, “Don’t forget your booster seat, Chase.”
“I’m a big boy, I don’t need it.” Chase pouted as he argued.
“Sorry bud, but you need it until you grow a little taller,” Jamie said.
Chase put his hands on his hips and stood up on his tip-toes. “I’m taller now.”
I wasn’t the only one who laughed.
Chase eventually stopped arguing and got in his booster seat. On the drive over Chase asked me about working at SSI and if I’d ever been a cop. I said no, but I worked as a civilian for the Chicago PD, after serving in the Air Force.
“Do you want to join the military when you grow up?”
He shook his head back and forth. “I’m gonna work for Uncle John after I’m the police like my Daddy.”
I could see Beth blinking back tears.
“I bet your dad would be proud to hear you say that.”
Chase’s smile revealed a gap where he’d recently lost a tooth.
#
Beth insisted on paying when we got to the museum. I thought about arguing, but Chase was watching, and I wanted to set a good example for him. I considered myself a gentleman and didn’t usually let women pay for dates, but Beth’s argument—she’d invited me so she should pay—was a solid one. I can buy them lunch later .
Beth let Chase choose which exhibit we saw first, and of course it was the dinosaurs. I couldn’t blame him, there was something magical about seeing the bones of creatures that lived so long ago it may as well have been on a different planet.
He'd love Sue, the largest and most complete T-Rex fossil ever found, at the Field Museum in Chicago. I hope I get to take him.
After lunch, I scanned the crowd as Chase and I waited outside the ladies’ room for Beth. When I turned back to Chase, he was gone.
My head was turned for five seconds .
“Chase.” I scanned the crowd, my voice projecting calm authority as I called for him. Fuck . The weekend crowd would make it hard for him to hear me without yelling, which would cause a scene. Fuck . My heart raced—I lost him.
Beth is going to kill me.
My height gave me an advantage, but Chase would still be hard to see.
Think like a five-year-old, Sharpe .
To the left was a line for a special exhibit, one he wasn’t interested in. In front of me was the food court, where we’d just eaten. He may have gone back there, but I didn’t see him. To the right was a stand-alone display of a giant turtle. Jackpot .
I was about to call out again when the crowd shifted. There he was, talking to the middle-aged guy pointing at the display. Without thinking, I marched through the crowd, grateful for my size.
I took a deep breath and released it slowly as I stopped next to Chase.
“Chase, whatcha doing Little Man?” I kept my voice as calm as I could as I put a hand on his shoulder and tucked him into my left side. I looked for some indication the guy might be an employee. No museum polo, no badge, nothing.
“Mr. Doug! Mr. Dale said turtles live a long time. And they sleep in their shells. Did you know they’re related to dinosaurs?” Chase explained like he hadn’t just given me a heart attack by wandering off.
I’d been assessing Dale while Chase talked and hadn’t picked up on any obvious signs of ill intent, but that didn’t mean he was innocent. What grown man talks to a kid without asking about his parents?
Dale opened his mouth to say something, but I wasn’t interested in anything he had to say.
“That’s nice.” I cut him off before turning to Chase. “Say goodbye to Mr. Dale.”
Just then Beth ran up, clutched Chase to her side, and asked, breathlessly, “What’s going on?”
Fuck. I’d hoped to be waiting for her, where she’d left us, so this wouldn’t happen. I would have told her, and she would have been upset, but she wouldn’t have experienced the fear she was currently feeling.
I let my hand fall from his shoulder and moved to a better position to intercept. Dale didn’t look like he’d try anything, but I wanted to make it clear he’d have a bad day if he did.
Beth’s chest was heaving, her eyes wide.
“Sorry ma’am, I didn’t mean to worry you. I was just telling young Chase here about turtles. Thought he might be interested when I saw the dinos on his t-shirt.”
I wanted to believe him, but couldn’t. Even if Chase had wandered off, what kind of guy would befriend him but not look for his parents?
The wrong kind. Keeping my voice neutral, I said, “We’ll be on our way.” Before Beth could say anything, I turned and stepped between her and Dale. Not wanting her to start a scene, I reached for Chase’s other hand and gently nudged them away.
Beth had every right to be scared and pissed, but yelling at the guy wouldn’t solve anything. Plus, it’d upset Chase, who I was sure was about to get a lecture on stranger danger.
Chase stared at his shoes as we walked away. I could feel the fear radiating off him.
I followed as she dragged Chase to the side of the room. She held his hands as she kneeled in front of him.
“Chase, who was that?” Beth asked, her voice harsh and still a few octaves above normal.
I let go of Chase's hand and scanned the crowd while she talked to Chase.
Chase shrugged. “He liked my shirt and showed me the turtle.”
“How many times have I told you not to talk to strangers?”
Chase looked confused; his eyes wet with tears.
Don’t talk to strangers is one of those things we tell children, but it doesn’t carry a lot of meaning for them. I’d attended a seminar on talking to your kids and keeping them safe, and one of the things they’d emphasized was that kids don’t think the way we do.
A person offering them candy is a friend, not a stranger, because friends share.
A person looking for a lost dog or cat isn’t a stranger; because they need help.
A person sharing information with them isn’t a stranger, because they’re like a teacher.
Beth could say, "don’t talk to strangers," until she was blue in the face, but it wouldn’t help.
“Beth,” I placed my hand on her arm, “may I?” I asked softly. It wasn’t my place to parent Chase, so I’d back off if she said no. She didn't.
“Chase, you didn’t think of Mr. Dale as a stranger when he offered to show you the turtle, did you?”
He shook his head back and forth, still looking at his mom with his hands shoved in his pockets. Poor kid, he thinks he’s in trouble but doesn’t understand why .
“You’re not in trouble, Chase.” I gave Beth a look begging her not to contradict me. I had a point to make. One I wish we could have discussed and made together, or she could have done it on her own, but I didn’t want to miss this opportunity while the emotions were still high.
We remembered lessons when they were tied to our emotions.
“Your mom isn’t mad at you. She’s scared, because when she came out of the bathroom we weren’t where we were supposed to be and-.”
“I’m sorry Mommy.”
“I forgive you.” Her tone was softer. Then she looked at me and added, “But Mr. Doug isn’t done yet.”
Her faith and trust in me would have dropped me to my knees, if I weren’t already there.
“We scare the people who love us if we wander away without telling them. You don’t want to scare your mom, do you?” I asked.
“No.” His voice was barely above a whisper.
“That’s good.” I smiled, hoping to put him at ease.
“Chase, sometimes people who act nice are actually bad people. We have to be extra careful anytime we talk to someone we haven’t met before. Do you understand?”
“Think so,” He said sheepishly.
“Good.” I put my hand on his shoulder like I was sharing a secret. “Here’s what I want you to do. Any time someone you’ve never met before starts talking to you, I want you to ask your mom if it’s okay to talk to them. Can you do that?”
“What if they need help?” Chase asked, looking a little more like himself.
“You tell them you have to ask if it’s okay, and then you go to your mom.”
“What if I’m at school?”
I looked at Beth for clarification, momentarily forgetting Chase called daycare school.
“Then you say you have to ask your teacher,” Beth answered.
“Okay.” He nodded.
“So, what do we do if someone we’ve never met before asks us if we want an ice cream?” It was a test; one I’d intentionally made difficult by including ice cream.
Chase looked from me to his mom and back to me. “I say I have to ask my mommy.”
“That’s right.” I held out my fist and waited for him to bump it. “Or your teacher, if you’re at school.”
Beth got on her knees and hugged Chase, she mouthed ‘thank you’ over Chase’s head as she held him tight. She didn’t let go until he started to squirm.
Chase sounded like himself again. “Can we go see the rest of the turtles now?”
“Only if you promise to hold my hand.” She smiled down at him.
The rest of the afternoon was less exciting. Chase wore himself out dragging us around trying to see everything and fell asleep five minutes into the drive home.
Once I was sure he was asleep, I turned to Beth.
“I’m sorry if I overstepped earlier today.”
“No, thank you for handling it the way you did. I was too scared to be calm. Or rational.”
“I get it.” Time to fess up . “Beth, I’m sorry. I took my eyes off him for five seconds and almost had a heart attack when I realized he’d walked away.”
Her jaw clenched and her death grip on the steering wheel turned her knuckles white.
“You lost him.” It wasn’t a question.
Shit, I’m in trouble . “Only for a second. I swear.”
“I told you he wanders off.”
“You did. And I’m sorry. If I’m ever given the opportunity to try again, I’ll hold his hand the entire time.”
She nodded before glancing in the mirror to look at Chase. Her eyes shimmering with unshed tears.
“Beth, I’m sorry.”
“I know, and I forgive you. And since your apology included a plan to prevent it from happening again, I’m willing to give you a second chance.”
“Thank you.” My shoulders relaxed as the tension drained from them. I’d almost blown my first chance to show Beth I could be a good parent by fucking up and losing Chase.
She told me about a couple of times she’d lost Chase in a crowd as she drove me home. It was scary how easy it was to lose him, despite all my training. I’m just happy I found him so quickly . A cold chill swept over my body as I thought of all the things that could have gone wrong.
We spent the rest of the ride talking about more pleasant things.
When she turned onto my street, I told Beth she could drop me off at my front door rather than park, since she needed to get Chase home.
“Thank you for a fun, and eye-opening, afternoon.” I swore to myself I’d never make that mistake again. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if anything happened to Chase on my watch.
“You’re welcome.” She glanced back at Chase at the same time I did.
He was still sound asleep, so I leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. “I’ll call you later, okay?”
“Okay.” She reached for my hand as I turned to open my door. “Despite the scare, I had a nice time too. Thanks for coming with us.”