Chapter 30
Nathan
When I finally make it to my floor, the limp’s noticeable. I fumble the key, drop it twice before getting the door open.
I toss my jacket somewhere near the couch, and then I feel the knee again—the sharp reminder.
“Still got it,” I mutter, half-laughing as I limp to the bedroom.
I sit on the edge of the bed, reach for the orange bottle on the nightstand, shake a pill into my palm, and swallow it dry. The room fades slightly when I lie back, ceiling fan blurring into lazy circles.
For the first time in a long time, the spin doesn’t feel bad.
My eyes close.
The sound of the fan fades into the wind. The soft buzz of the city becomes a crowd.
And then, grass. Lights. The sound of cleats on turf.
I plant my foot. The ground shifts. And everything tears.
NCAA Playoffs
Fourth-and-Inches
We were one yard from the end zone, wind howling, student section rabid behind the goalposts. Seventeen seconds on the clock. Down by five. Coach signaled the screen pass, but the defense shifted, and I felt it, time for an audible.
QB sneak.
Trust the legs that carried me out of every mess since peewee football.
“Blue 22! Blue 22, hut!”
I surged forward, helmet into the pile. Then something gave, a sick pop like tearing denim. My right knee folded sideways. The world went white.
I hit the turf clutching nothingness, sound sucked from my lungs. Above me, stadium lights merged into a single blinding star.
“Reign is down,” the announcer’s voice boomed, hollow. Pads thudded around my ears. Coach knelt, hand on my shoulder. “Stay down, son. Med cart’s coming.”
The crowd hushed to a funeral whisper as the stretcher rolled out.
A little while later, I’m in the hospital, with my leg swaddled, elevated, and twice its size. Mom sat curled in the corner chair, clutching my phone like a rosary.
The door swung open, the admitting doctor with salt-and-pepper hair and radiology films in hand.
He clipped the X-ray to the lightbox. A dark gap where something solid should be.
“Complete ACL rupture, Nathan. No fibers left intact.”
I stared at him. “No. That’s wrong. Run it again.”
He softened. “I’m sorry. MRI confirms it. We’ll schedule reconstructive surgery, but the rehab is long, nine months minimum. There’s also meniscal fraying we need to evaluate.”
The click of the door when he left was louder than the pop in my knee—then screaming silence.
Finally, Mom reached out to me before the sob did. I folded into her arms like I was eight again, shoulders shaking.
“What am I going to do now? All I know is football,” I choked.
She stroked my hair. “You are so much more than that field, baby. We’ll figure it out.”
Just then, the door inched open. Auburn ponytail. Black coat. Eyes I’d memorized more thoroughly than any playbook.
Maddison… I hadn’t seen her since she moved to Portland and then stood me up.
For an instant, I thought the morphine lied. She stepped fully into the light, fingers twisting the strap of her purse.
Mom squeezed my hand before exiting the room.
Maddison smiled as she walked past, then focused her eyes back on me as the smile faded. “I’m so sorry, Nathan.”
Words tangled in my throat. “What… are you doing here?”
“I saw you on the news…I had to see if you were okay.”
I swallowed. “Doc says my ACL’s gone… I might never play again.” I forced a laugh. “Bishop thinks stem cells will save me.”
She nodded, tears glistening in her eyes. “I have to tell you something.”
She took a breath that rocked her shoulders.
“That day at the coffee shop when I was supposed to meet you… I was on my way. My dad found the email. He said if I met you or he found out I was talking to you again, he’d use his firm’s leverage to pull your football scholarship.
He said he’d make sure you’d never step foot on a college field. ”
The room shifted.
“You stayed away… for me?” I whispered.
She nodded once, a tear tracking down her cheek.
I stared past her then back at my knee, the field lights of every dream flickering out. “What am I gonna do now?”
Maddison stepped closer to the bedside, slid her hand into mine, her palm still impossibly familiar. “What are we gonna do now?”
I cough myself awake, and I’m back in my room, dehydrated and dazed as I stare down at my knee, wondering how life can change so much in a matter of minutes.