Chapter 37
Ayla
“I love you, Alani, but—”
“Everything before the word but is bullshit,” she says, her eyes locked on me, filled with judgment.
“I need a ride home.”
“And I told you I could find you a ride with someone else. That man hurt you. I don’t understand why—”
“We hurt each other,” I remind her. “And I trust him.”
“How?” she asks, genuinely confused.
“He protected me. Everything he did was to protect me.” I clear my throat, refusing to dive back into the conversations we had last night.
“He’s a psychopath, Ayla.”
My spine stiffens. Before, when I was normal, I would’ve let her say what she wanted and just move on from it, but the criticism in her tone fires me up.
“You slept with that lunatic in the parking lot,” I remind her. “He abducted you along with three others.”
“He took me and the guys didn’t like it. They practically volunteered to come along.”
“Everyone was tied to a fucking chair, Alani. Do you—”
I snap my jaw closed when she jerks her head back.
“Colorful language,” she mutters.
“Nothing you haven’t heard before,” I remind her.
“Never from you,” she says as she crosses her arms and glares at me.
“What happened with that man?”
She shakes her head. “Don’t ever ask me about him. Why are you so quick to spit curse words?”
My cheek twitches in irritation. I love my sister. I think I’ve proven that time and time again, but she just doesn’t get it. I told her in greater detail than I ever thought I would about what happened to me.
“I’m different,” I tell her, pressing the final key on the keyboard and getting the confirmation number for ordering my birth certificate.
“Do you think it’s trauma making you want to spend time with the man who hurt you?”
“Helped me,” I correct, as I stand and start walking toward the door.
I feel out of place here, in this pristine dorm room. It’s very girly and frankly, a little too young adult. After what I’ve been through, I feel like I need something less fresh, something tainted with time and use.
“You’re leaving already?”
“He’s waiting,” I remind her. “I’ll be back.”
“For your birth certificate,” she says with a deep frown.
“I can’t stay in your dorm room.”
“Where will you stay when you get back?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know. I’ll figure it out.”
Alani walks with me out of her room. The compression I felt in my chest starts to lift the closer I make it to the front door. By the time I’m in the sun, I’m feeling what I consider my new normal.
Donavan is still in his truck, but Alani doesn’t acknowledge him as she turns to face me.
“Let me know you made it safely,” she says, her throat clogged with emotion.
The girl goes from one end of the spectrum to the other so quickly, it gives me whiplash.
“I will.”
“No more lies.”
“I’ll do anything to protect you,” I vow, unable to make the promise she wants because certain circumstances require certain action. “Please be vigilant. Don’t go anywhere alone. Don’t go out at night.”
She nods, taking me seriously instead of saying yes, mother like she normally would.
“I still think it would be best if you came with us,” I say, diving back into the conversation we had earlier in her dorm room.
“I can’t. The semester starts tomorrow. Tuition and fees have already been paid, and not wasting any money is more important now than ever before.”
“I can get more money. It’s not safe. The threat—”
“I’ll be fine. I’m an adult, Ayla. Let me make my own decisions.”
She has a point, so all I can do is nod and open my arms for a hug.
We embrace, and for the first time that I can recall, I’m the first to pull away.
“I love you,” she whispers.
I cup her face, using my thumb to swipe away a tear. “I love you, too.”
I don’t look back as I walk toward Nash’s truck because I might never leave if I did. I glare at Donavan, hoping he catches the threat in my eyes. He must because his lips form a flat line as he gives me the slightest dip of his head.
He doesn’t look like he plans to go anywhere, and I don’t know if it’s because he’s staying because Angel has asked him to, or if he’s formed some sort of obsession with my sister.
He didn’t yell back at her despite her screaming in his face.
He didn’t strike her or retaliate in any way when she hit him.
There’s a voice inside of me saying that he’d never hurt her, despite him tying her to a chair, which I think he did for her own good.
I do feel like I’m leaving her with a hungry wolf, but with the way he’s watching her, I get the impression he might be good for her on some level.
My eyes rove over the parking lot, and I feel a little more relief when I see the dark SUV parked a few spots over.
The Cerberus member lifts two fingers from the steering wheel in a tiny wave, nodding his head as if to tell me that she’ll be fine.
I nod back, wondering why they’re still here in the first place, but not at all upset that they are.
My steps stumble a little as I consider that getting help from Cerberus would probably be better than riding to Plano with Nash, but I don’t feel the sympathy I sense from Cerberus when I’m with him. I don’t think he’s judging every choice I make and struggling against voicing his own opinion.
I don’t think Cerberus is bad. I think they serve a very good purpose, and they saved me from Angel’s wrath.
They were able to rescue the other woman abducted from this campus the very same night I was.
Slick’s explanation made it clear that the girl, who brought me food that one time wearing the Lindell Lemur shirt was actually from Lindell.
Cerberus was hired by her parents to track her down and bring her home.
The unease inside of me doesn’t settle or dissipate as I get closer to Nash’s truck.
Instead of going to the passenger side and climbing in, I step up to the driver’s side window.
“Hey,” he says, the word affecting me in a way it probably shouldn’t.
“Why are you helping me?”
His head tilts a little. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t want to be your obligation. I don’t want your help if it’s because all you’re doing is making amends for what you were forced to do. I don’t need an apology. I don’t want you to—”
I snap my mouth closed, taking a step back when he opens the door and climbs out.
“Obligation?” he asks, his voice a controlled growl, low yet not menacing.
I turn to walk away. I can’t argue with this man in the parking lot of my sister’s school. I’m feeling too raw. It’s all too fucking much for me. Leaving Alani, being uncertain that if she’s safe, needing to restart my entire life… it’s just too much.
Nash grabs my arms, the back of my hand brushing against the front of his jeans.
I snap my eyes to his.
“That’s why,” he says, his face inching closer to mine.
“I can’t explain this fucking attraction to you.
This need that boils inside of me that’s telling me to get as close as I can to you.
I don’t know why I breathe easier when you’re near or why the voices calm when I have eyes on you.
Tell me it’s fucking different for you, and I’ll walk away.
I’ll deal, but you have to be the one to stop first.”
I swallow as I look into his eyes.
“It doesn’t make sense,” I whisper.
“I don’t think it’s supposed to.”
I pull my eyes, movement to the side drawing my attention.
Legacy, the same guy who was standing outside the hotel room, keeping us safe last night, has climbed out of the SUV and is approaching us.
Nash notices but doesn’t release his hold on my arm.
I pull slightly, resting my hand inside his as the commando comes to make sure I’m okay.
It makes it clear that there are people in my corner. Knowing that brings on another wave of emotion because I’ve felt like I’ve lost literally everything. I was alone for so long, even when caring for Alani. I never knew I needed anyone else.
Legacy doesn’t give a shit about the hand holding. He pushes at Nash’s chest the second he’s within reach.
“Grab her again,” the biker snarls. “It’ll be the last fucking thing you do.”
I look to the left, noticing Donavan climbing out of his truck, his snarling glare focused on us.
Nash doesn’t engage with Legacy. His eyes are locked on mine.
“Make up your fucking mind,” he snaps. Although I didn’t know him before Pirro hurt him, I don’t think he would’ve acted this way beforehand.
It’s proof that he’s different, and I know I’m different too. I don’t need to be coddled. I don’t need to be given time or space to figure shit out.
Having some long drawn-out argument about what I should or shouldn’t do in my head is a waste of time. It feels right with him. He feels right, and honestly, I don’t care if it’s the wrong choice. I only care that it’s my choice.
I step around Legacy, keeping my distance and making sure I don’t touch the man, as I approach Nash. His eyes are locked on mine.
I look up at him, standing only a few inches from him. If the wind blew, our clothes would probably touch on the breeze.
I don’t say a word. I’ve made my decision, and now the ball is back in his court. He could easily decide I’m not worth the trouble I’m already bringing him.
He looks down, his eyes darting between mine, as if he’s trying to figure out why him, or maybe he’s wondering if I’m serious.
I see the second he figures it out.
A low rumble escapes his throat as he reaches out and clamps my jaw between his thumb and middle finger, the grip almost painful and completely perfect. He doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t pause to check with me one last time, before pressing his lips to mine.
It’s our new beginning, and it’s absolutely perfect.