Chapter 31
Alani
“You look nervous,” Madelene says after the guys walk out of the room. “Don’t be.”
I stand a little taller, refusing to walk toward Ayla because I feel like it shows a weakness, as if I’m skittish and still need my big sister to protect me somehow.
“That woman is Lauren, and yes, that’s just her face.”
The woman in question waves but then glares at Madelene.
“Raya is with Liam. He’s the supermodel-looking guy.”
Raya nods at me and I stupidly give her a little wave.
“Of course you know your sister, and I didn’t tell you before, but I’m Donavan’s sister.”
This news floors me, and I jerk my head back in her direction.
“Well, I’m Elio’s sister, but Elio no longer exists.”
She tries to keep her smile on her face, but she just can’t manage it enough to make it believable.
It shouldn’t come as a surprise. I know literally nothing about the man other than he lives out of a duffel bag as if he has no roots at all.
I have so many questions, but I also know I have no right to ask them of Madelene. The woman probably wouldn’t tell me a thing, and I know that Donavan would be pissed.
Now that she’s mentioned being his sister, I can see some of the familial traits, mostly in the eyes because Donavan has a very full beard. I watch as Madelene presses her hand to her round belly, a sad smile on her face.
I realize they aren’t close or at least not as close as this woman would like them to be. With nothing else to go on, I wonder if the burns he tries to hide on his arm have anything to do with the distance between them.
The other women chat some, but I keep my distance. They’re all older than me, although the difference in age has less to do with it than their own life experiences.
I recognize Raya as the daughter of a former presidential candidate, and it makes me wonder how she got mixed up in this group of people. I have no doubt the guys are operating some kind of business the feds would be interested in.
I do my best to pay attention to what they’re saying, but I honestly just can’t pull myself from my thoughts long enough to track their conversation.
I’m lost, wondering about Donavan and what would make him become a different person.
I don’t get a witness-protection vibe from him, and he doesn’t seem the type to run away from his problems. The man is ruthless.
I saw that side of him both in Austin when he stabbed that man without so much as asking for his name first, and again with the man who drugged me.
He’s fearless and brutal, and it should scare the hell out of me, but for some reason, it doesn’t.
I stand a little taller when the guys start filtering back into the room.
Raya and Liam walk out first, followed by Hollis and Madelene.
My heart aches when Donavan walks past me without so much as a glance in my direction. I know the feelings are one-sided. I know caring for him on any level has been a waste of energy on my part, but it’s not like I can control my heart.
“Are you coming?” Donavan asks as he nears the front door.
I don’t know what his plan is, but no matter what it is, I’m not going to turn down an opportunity to spend more time with him.
I don’t even look at my sister as I follow him out of the building. My heart is racing, threatening to take flight as I climb into his truck.
“I thought you were going to walk out and leave me there with Ayla,” I confess as I pull on my seatbelt.
“Can’t suck my own dick,” he says, his eyes on the rearview mirror as he backs away from the sidewalk.
My smile drops from my face, his words hurting more than a fist to the gut.
I know I mean nothing to him. I’m well aware that I’m simply a hole for him to fuck when he feels like it. It shouldn’t bother me, but at the same time, I’m also not exactly known for being capable of managing my emotions that well.
I feel more than see him turn his attention to me more than once, but I don’t acknowledge it. What could I possibly say? He doesn’t give a shit about me as a person, so my reaction to what he said won’t matter either. I feel stupid for even wanting him to see me differently.
I don’t react when he sighs heavily. I do my best to focus on the anger side of how he makes me feel because giving any other emotion room to breathe will only make me cry, and he doesn’t get to see me that way.
“What did Madelene tell you?”
“Nothing,” I mutter, keeping my eyes on the buildings passing by.
This town is very familiar to me. I’ve been living with Ayla and Nash for months, but for some reason it all seems so different in the passenger side of his truck, rather than driving the car Nash has let me use to go to work.
Work. Fuck, I missed my shift yesterday, and a quick glance at the clock tells me I’ve missed today’s too.
Waitressing jobs come a dime a dozen, and even as painful as it is to know Donavan is only using me because he needs to get off, I don’t speak up about it.
I don’t demand to be taken back to Ayla’s so I can get a clean uniform and go to work.
I don’t want to be there. I don’t want dirty men eyeing me from across the room or having to spend my day moving out of the way when they try to touch me.
I’m like a fucking puppy at his feet, begging for scraps and waiting for something of substance to fall to the floor so I can lap it up with an eagerness that should make me feel ashamed.
“Something,” he grumbles, turning on his blinker and pulling into a fast-food place.
“She said that the man you used to be was her brother.”
I glance over at him, but he’s emotionless. He doesn’t care about Madelene, and if the woman is a blood relative and doesn’t even tip a scale from him emotionally, then I have no fucking hope of doing it.
He turns his face, his eyes meeting mine, but he offers nothing up. He’s not going to explain, and I know asking questions would only be met with his refusal to answer them. There’s no point in wasting the energy.
“Burger and fries?” he asks me as he inches the truck closer to the drive-thru menu.
“That would be great,” I tell him with a weak smile.
He keeps his eyes locked on me for a long moment, only pulling them away when the car behind us honks in irritation. It takes several more breaths before he moves forward again.
He places the order for our food and after he pays, hands the bag to me before pulling out of the parking lot.
If I thought things turned icy in the truck, I was wrong.
Once we get back to the house, I sit down at the table to eat, placing his food on the table as well. He simply takes the burger and fries and heads out onto the back porch. It’s fucking freezing outside, but he’d rather eat out there than sit beside me.
He keeps his distance for the rest of the day.