Chapter 12 #2
“I’m well aware of my nice smile. And Hazel is lucky to have you.
No one is going to care more about helping her succeed than you.
I’ve seen you hold her hand. I’ve seen you kick her ass.
I’ve seen you cheer louder than anyone every time she gets a win.
That guy is an idiot. He was her husband, and he treated her like a commodity.
You’d do anything for her, and I can’t think of a better quality to have in an agent.
Any imaginary deficiency you’re worried about, you more than make up for with loyalty and love and hard fucking work.
Now quit wasting time worrying about the opinion of an asshole who wears driving moccasins. ”
I let out a laugh and immediately regretted it when my head started thumping again. “Ow. Thank you for the disco and the ass kicking.”
Gage reached over and ruffled my disastrous hair. “Hang here. I’ll try to find your ibuprofen.”
“Thank you,” I called after him. I’d barely shut my eyes when the mattress dipped again. It was Hazel, gleefully clutching two bed pillows to her chest.
“I saw you two in bed together,” she whisper-screamed.
“Jesus, Haze,” I said, snatching one of the pillows and pulling it over my head. “He put my bed together and moved my mattress. We were taking a break.”
“A horizontal break. With sexy smiles and lingering looks. It looked like you were talking about something serious.”
“We were discussing driving moccasins.”
“Hmm. I think I’ll have you discussing something more meaningful and character arc-y. Like maybe he was heroically calming your fears about starting this new chapter in life.”
“I don’t know why I put up with you,” I groaned into the pillow.
“Ooh! What if you had a muscle cramp and he offered to rub it for you? Is the thigh too sexy for this early in the story?”
“Hazel!” I groaned in exasperation.
She grinned and threw her pillow over my stomach before curling up with me. “I know it’s selfish, but I’m so glad you’re here and that you’re staying.”
“Temporarily,” I said, twirling her ponytail.
“I’ll take it. I feel like this place might be a little bit magic, and now it’s your turn.”
“Oh my God. I’m not going to fall in love with Gage and find some storybook-worthy HEA here.”
Suddenly, a red-blond furry face appeared in my line of vision as Nana joined us on the bed. Deciding she was an integral part of girl time, she curled up next to my head and rested her face in my hair.
“It doesn’t have to be Gage, but it would be so convenient for me,” she insisted. “And his dog obviously loves you.”
I reached up blindly to pat Nana. “Nana also loves lampposts. Don’t take her opinion too seriously. Haze?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you think you might be better off without me? I mean like if we were still friends but you had an agent with more…experience?”
Hazel sat up and looked horrified. “Where in the hell did you ever get a stupid-ass idea like that?”
“From a stupid ass.”
“We’re in this together. And yes, we have both made mistakes.
If you’re looking for a very recent example, let’s examine me letting a stupid ass destroy my mojo for two entire years until there was barely a career left to salvage while you stood by my side and moved away from everything you love to help me through it.
Don’t let one word that comes out of my ex-husband’s mouth land anywhere near you. ”
“Ugh. Who told you about Jim?” I asked. Nana shifted and covered my face with her chin, giving me dog-face beard.
“Valentino. And Jamila. And Sara. I wish I could have seen him snorting vodka out of his nose for the rest of the night. You’re a good friend, Zoey. And that makes you an even better agent.”
I turned my head as much as the weight of dog face allowed. “I didn’t move away from everything I love.”
Hazel raised an eyebrow above the rim of her glasses. “Oh?”
I pointed at her.
She pointed at herself, eyes going misty. “Me?”
“Yeah, and I’m hungover as hell, so I’d appreciate it if you could keep it together so we don’t have to have a whole moment. I’m so dehydrated I might die if I formed any tears.”
“Fine. I’ve got this.” She sniffled dramatically and waved her hands in front of her face.
“You know that works better when you’re not wearing glasses.”
“I love you too, Zo.”
We were recovering from our nonmoment when Gage returned with a bottle of ibuprofen and a glass of water. “Found it in a bag of extension cords and phone chargers.”
Hazel poked me. “I told you to let me help you pack.”
“You have a book to write. That’s more important.”
“Well, I am feeling inspired,” she said pointedly, looking back and forth between us. Nana’s tail thumped on the mattress.
Cam poked his head in the doorway. “Got a medium-size problem downstairs,” he reported.
“Oh God! It’s not any of the boxes labeled shoes, is it?” I demanded. By my rough, hungover calculations, I had a few thousand dollars in fabulous footwear that I could sell.
“You need to see it for yourself.”
I downed the water and ibuprofen on my way out the front door and into the sunshine.
It was not the box of shoes. It was much, much worse.
Levi was standing on the sidewalk, arms crossed over his chest, attention on my car. The movers were lined up at the back of the moving truck, each armed with a cell phone, recording.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
Levi looked my way. “The good news is I fixed your roof latch temporarily. You’ll need to take it into a garage for a permanent fix.”
“Thanks, Levi. I owe you. What’s the bad news?”
Cam pointed to my car. “He didn’t close the roof after he fixed it, so that’s your problem.”
“Seriously? Damn it, Goose!” I shrieked.
The eagle was perched on the last box in my passenger seat. The cardboard flaps were open, and the bird had a hot-pink bra with tiny crystals in his beak. It was one of my nicest bras. My favorite bra.
Gage and Cam arrived at my side. Cam laughed while Gage did his best to hide his amusement.
I groaned. “That’s a three-hundred-dollar bra that he’s slobbering eagle germs on!” I’d been planning to sell that bra, but who was going to buy it if it had eagle beak marks?
I made a move toward the macabre scene, but Gage stepped in. He took me by the shoulders and marched me backward.
“With your luck with animals, I’d prefer if you didn’t engage the bald eagle.”
“But that asshole’s going to eat my bra!” I waved my hands at the bird over Gage’s shoulder. “Drop the bra and fly away, or I will make sure every tourist in this town is issued an umbrella upon entering town limits, and you’ll never get to shit on anyone again, Goose!”
The gigantic bird looked at me as if contemplating my threat.
Cam and Levi dissolved into manly snorts of hysteria.
“Not helping, guys,” Gage complained before turning his attention back to me. “Don’t move.”
“What are you gonna do? Wrestle the bird for the bra?” Cam asked.
Gage responded with a brisk middle finger in his brother’s direction before marching off to his truck parked at the curb.
He opened the door, dug around for something, and then returned to the scene of the crime in progress.
“Happy move-in day—uh, what’s happening?”
Pep and Frank Bishop joined me on the sidewalk. Frank was holding a festive gift bag, and Pep was carrying two bottles of wine with curled ribbon around the necks.
“Goose has a crush on Zoey,” Levi reported.
“Am I the only one still working?” Hazel hollered out of the second-floor window.
“We’re watching Goose steal Zoey’s underwear,” Cam yelled back.
“Well, that’s new,” Frank said, handing me the gift bag and joining his sons in their armchair eagle quarterbacking.
Gage shook the small bag in his hand. “Come on, you feathery pain in the ass. You’d rather have a snack than some expensive underwear.”
A muffled bark came from behind us, and I spotted Nana with her nose and tongue plastered against the glass front door, triggered into delirium by the word snack.
Goose seemed interested in Gage’s offer. He shifted his weight from foot to foot and eyed the bag of God knows what eagles considered treats.
Gage opened the pouch, and Goose hopped onto the passenger door.
“Drop the bra, and you can have this,” Gage instructed, holding up the treat.
“What is that?” I asked.
“Organic dried beef dog treats. Turns out they’re not just good for stray dogs. They’re Goose’s favorite. Although we do have to watch his sodium,” Pep explained. “If you’re having this much trouble with him, you might want to start carrying them.”
“Won’t that just encourage him to continue being an asshole?”
“Look at it like redirecting a toddler,” she suggested.
We collectively held our breath as Goose spread his wings. On a disgruntled squawk, he opened his mouth and dropped the bra. I breathed a sigh of relief when it draped neatly over the Miata’s door.
“Good pain in the ass. Nice pain in the ass,” Gage said. He tossed the treat in the air, and Goose caught it neatly in his terrifying beak.
The eagle snarfed it down the way I attacked a midnight microwave burrito: with aggressive enthusiasm.
“Now how about we step away from the lady’s underwear,” Gage suggested, shaking the bag again.
The eagle took a tentative step toward the back of the car.
“Thank you thank you thank you,” I said, sidling closer to the bra.
Goose whipped his head in my direction and pinned me with a creepy bird eye. I squeaked and froze on the sidewalk. We stared each other down for several beats, and I swear to God, the demon fowl winked at me.
“You listen here, bird. I am exhausted and hungover. I can’t be held responsible for my actions. So don’t. You. Dare,” I hissed.
But oh, how he dared.
With a graceful dip of his head, Goose snatched up the bra in his beak, unfurled his wings, and took off.
I covered my face in my hands and groaned. “I’m being bullied by a bald eagle. I need more ibuprofen.”
“Bird’s definitely got a crush,” Cam said, shielding his eyes from the sun to watch Goose soar away with a week’s worth of gas, grocery, and wine money in his stupid beak.
An SUV pulled to a stop in the street. Hana and Billie from the lodge stuck their heads out of their respective windows.
“We were just coming to drop off a housewarming present. What’s Goose have?” Hana asked, shading her eyes against the sun.
“A three-hundred-dollar D-cup,” I said morosely.
Pep patted me on the shoulder. “Look at it this way. Goose now has the most blinged-out eagle’s nest in history.”
“Sorry, Zo. Guess he wanted the bra more than he wanted the food,” Gage said.
“We’ve all been there,” Cam said sagely.
I took a step backward and nearly went ass over feet over Emilie Rump’s free-range pig, Rump Roast. He spit out an apple at my feet and oinked happily.
“This is not an auspicious beginning,” I muttered.
The pig grunted in agreement.
“Sometimes the best new chapters start in disaster, kiddo. You’ll see,” Pep said with confidence. She scratched the pig on the head and then tucked the bottles of wine into the open box on my passenger seat. “Let’s get this inside before Goose decides to come back for the matching underwear.”