Chapter 14 #2
Pepe shoved his head between my arm and my body so I had it draped around his neck. “I think I’ve seen enough,” I said wryly.
“We didn’t take her to the pond yet,” Wes said.
“We’ll head there now. Hop in,” Gage told me.
At least in a vehicle, I’d have fewer opportunities to be mauled by a farm animal.
“Thanks for the tour. Bye, Pepe.”
The donkey followed me forlornly to the gate.
“Maybe I’ll see you at Angelo’s sometime?” Harry asked hopefully.
“She’s too old for you and out of your league,” Gage scolded.
Harry grinned. “I like to aim high.”
Gage shook his head and adjusted his ball cap. “Get in before he starts trying out his pickup lines.”
I congratulated myself on managing to open and relatch the gate without completely embarrassing myself and climbed in next to Gage. Nana had graciously moved to the back seat of the vehicle.
“You really don’t have to do this,” I said. “I think you’ve had enough Zoey time this weekend, and I have more than enough information to work up a plan for your parents.”
“If I take you back to the house now, you’ll be forced into mucking stalls, and you don’t look like the type that would enjoy shoveling shit.”
“To the pond,” I announced grandly.
“I thought you might say that,” he said.
He waited until I’d buckled up before shifting into drive and pointing us into the sun. I appreciated the warmth on my face and relaxed against the seat as the fields rolled out on both sides of the trail. It was not my usual way to spend a Sunday, but I had to admit, it didn’t entirely suck.
“I’ve been thinking about something you said,” Gage said, breaking the silence as we crested a hill.
“I say a lot of things. You’re going to have to narrow it down for me.”
“You said I don’t like you.”
Nana shoved her head between us and rested it on my shoulder with a happy sigh. “Uh, yeah. I do recall something like that.” I wondered if a regular laundry cycle would take care of cow snot, donkey dust, and dog slobber or if there was some industrial farm wash cycle I should be aware of.
“I don’t not like you,” he said.
“Good to know. Hey, do you use some special laundry detergent that gets animal out of your clothes?”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I.”
“Regular detergent is fine.”
“Great,” I said, giving scratches to Nana’s neck.
“I just wanted to set the record straight. I don’t want you to think that I don’t like you.”
I peered over the dog’s face. “But you are less friendly to me than you are to literally the entire world.”
His fingers tapped out a soundless rhythm on the wheel, and I turned so he wouldn’t see my grin. Gage was uncomfortable, and I was enjoying it.
“It kind of hurts my feelings,” I said, putting a quaver into my voice.
“Shit, Zo. I’m sorry. I just… You’re just…”
“I’m kidding. Relax. You don’t have to like me. I mean, could you have been nicer at times? Sure. But you did just give me an apartment and help me move. And sometimes when you’re not being a jerk, you’re flirting with me. I’m perfectly content with our relationship.”
“I feel like I owe you an explanation.” He steered us off the main trail onto a smaller, bumpier one.
“If this explanation involves telling me all my flaws that you don’t like, I would prefer to skip the whole ‘Mr. Darcy’ thing.”
He veered off the track and into the field. Ahead of us, I spotted a small body of water next to a picturesque copse of trees.
“When you first moved here, I found you…unsettlingly attractive,” he continued.
I turned to look at him. “I see. Did I get less attractive since I got here?”
“No.”
“And what do you mean unsettlingly? You sure know how to take a compliment and turn it into an insult.”
“I took one look at you and fell off a damn roof. You have—had that effect on me. And since you don’t fit the plan, I thought it was safer to keep my distance. I didn’t realize I was coming off like I didn’t like you. You’re likable. Extremely likable.”
“I think we’re moving back in the direction of compliment territory.”
He stopped the utility vehicle next to the pond and shut off the engine. Nana jumped out and began peeing on a variety of flora. “Look, you already know I’m looking for something permanent,” Gage said.
“And you already know permanent gives me hives,” I supplied.
“What I was going to say is you’re one hell of a distraction.”
I fluffed my hair theatrically. “Thank you for noticing. Also, why the hell would you rent me an apartment if you’re trying to avoid me and my irresistible feminine wiles? I mean, talk about rookie mistake.”
“I knew you were going to be a pain in the ass about this,” he complained.
“You’d better be talking to Nana,” I warned. The dog in question was nosing around the waterline.
“Oh, I’m talking to you, Disaster.”
“I think about you naked too, Gage,” I admitted spitefully.
He closed his eyes. “Christ.”
“Yeah, try not to think about that next time you hear me showering above your head,” I joked. “Now what’s the significance of this quaint little swamp?” I waved my hand in the direction of the pond.
“Mom wants to rescue some ducks and put them here. We’ll put up a picnic pavilion over th—Nana, no!”
Nana had apparently tired of looking at the water, because she took a running leap and gracelessly belly flopped into the shallows.
“Son of a bitch. You literally had a bath yesterday,” Gage complained, climbing out from behind the wheel.
The dog showed no remorse as she happily paddled into deeper water. To his credit, Gage didn’t slow down. Nope, he just took off his hat and shirt, threw them over his head, and plowed right on into the water.
“What are you doing?” I demanded on a laugh.
“She’ll never get out unless I drag her out. It’s a little game she likes to play called being fucking terrible,” Gage called as he slogged after the golden retriever, who appeared to be living her best life.
“Are there snakes in there?”
“How the hell should I know?”
“It looks like snake water.”
I got out of the UTV and cautiously approached, phone in video mode.
“Are you seriously videoing me right now?” Gage demanded grumpily.
“Think of it as content for the sanctuary,” I said chipperly. “Your parents might go viral with their first post.”
“My life was a hell of a lot easier before you two redheads showed up.”
Before he could say anything else uncomplimentary, Gage stumbled and, with a “fuck this” expression on his face, went under. Nana immediately changed direction and swam back to investigate. Her human father surfaced sputtering but managed to hook his fingers in her collar.
“I don’t think you should be drinking that water,” I called.
“Yeah? Well, I don’t think I should have to drag a dog out of every body of water after spending five hundred bucks on obedience classes.” He looked down at the delightedly drenched dog. “Your recall still sucks.”
Nana didn’t look offended.
Swearing under his breath, Gage trudged back to shore with the dog in tow.
I met him at the edge of the muddy lip around the pond and held out his T-shirt to him. He snatched it out of my hands and tossed it over his rippling, muscular shoulder. Wet, shirtless Gage Bishop made quite the picture.
“Don’t even think about laughing or I’ll pick you up and toss you in,” he warned.
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” I said, pocketing my phone and holding up my hands in surrender.
“Damn it, Nana,” Gage grumbled as the dog dug her heels in and pulled backward. “You’re not winning this one.”
But fate was not on Gage’s side. Because Nana managed to slide backward out of her collar.
However, instead of diving back into the water, she hurled herself into the dank, smelly mud on the bank.
She rolled over and over again until all traces of her reddish fur were gone, replaced by a soggy mud monster with a grin.
“Oh. My. God,” I said.
“’Bout done?” Gage asked the dog, his hands on his hips as if waiting out a toddler’s temper tantrum.
Nana sat and gave a cheery bark. What I could only assume was her tail swept muddy ripples back and forth behind her.
“You might wanna take several steps back,” Gage warned.
“Me or her?” I asked.
Nana answered for him by shaking her body vigorously, sending mud splatters raining out in an impressive blast radius that included me.
“Gross!” I groaned as the cold, wet mud hit me in the head, face, and chest.
Thwap. Thwap. Thwap.
Gage was standing with his back to me, hands still on his hips, head hung low.
“Are you—” I spit out a fleck of mud. “Are you okay?” I asked.
“Honestly, Zoey? I’m just trying not to hate my life right now.”
He turned slowly, and I clamped a hand to my mouth. The man was covered in soupy brown mud. Covered. Nana looked extraordinarily pleased with herself and trotted in my direction.
The laugh burst out of me despite my best efforts. “You can’t blame me for this. I didn’t make your dog go skinny-dipping in a mud bath.”
“No. But if I hadn’t been enlisted to take you on this tour, I doubt I’d be covered from head to toe in slime.”
“Yeah, I think that points the blame at your mother for making you do it. Also, I’m sorry. I’m really trying to take you seriously, but all I can see are the whites of your eyes and your teeth, and I want to start calling you Sexy Swamp Beast.”
He yanked his T-shirt off his shoulder, found a clean, dry corner, and swiped at his face, which I found hilarious.
“You think you look much better? You look like Jackson Pollock decided to paint with only browns.”
“It’s not that b—” I was cut off by fifty-five pounds of muddy golden retriever launching itself at me.
Under normal circumstances, I probably would have kept my footing. I’d taken my first self-defense class in junior high, so I knew how to brace for an attack. But the ground beneath my sneakers was marshy and slick. I felt myself tipping backward in slow motion as I lost the battle with gravity.
I landed flat on my back in a body-size puddle. “Please, please tell me this is a mud puddle and not a river of cow pee,” I whispered.
Nana pounced, landing her dirty paws squarely on my chest, knocking the wind out of me.
The dog disappeared from my chest, and Gage’s smirk appeared above me. “You were saying?”
I sputtered out a breath. “Ouch. Are you sure you sent her to obedience school and not deviance school?”
“I’ll demand a refund.”
I took his offered hand and let him haul me back to my feet.
I had two perfectly placed paw prints that looked like pasties.
The rest of my front was a mud-splattered work of art.
My back from hair to heels felt significantly…
squishier. “I don’t know what to do in this situation.
I’ve never been this dirty before,” I confessed.
“I find that hard to believe,” Gage said, making a lightning-quick grab for Nana and reattaching her collar.
“You are not flirting with me right now. Not when I look like something you’d grow mushrooms in.”
“Come on. Let’s go get cleaned up,” Gage said.