Chapter 25 Corners #2
“I’m super irrelevant,” I insisted. “I really don’t need to crash your family meeting.”
Seriously, who invited veritable strangers to their family meetings? Also, who actually had family meetings? Were the Bishops some sort of throwback family sitcom with a live studio audience?
“Well, kiddo, he came straight to you after one hell of a rough day. If that doesn’t make you family, I don’t know what does,” she said. “Now get your asses in the car.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I whispered meekly. “Can I at least change my—”
“No.”
We walked into Pep and Frank’s kitchen and into the middle of a standoff.
Pep had at least allowed us the dignity of driving ourselves out to the farm. Gage had been unhelpful on the ride over when I quizzed him on what to expect from a Bishop family meeting. He answered my questions with monosyllabic responses and grunts.
“You told me not to come to court,” Cam yelled, presumably at Laura, who was sitting next to the wine fridge, arms stubbornly crossed. Bentley and Melvin were sitting under the table, keeping watchful eyes on the proceedings.
“Us,” Levi corrected. “You told us not to come.”
“Because I didn’t want you two throwing a temper tantrum, burning down the courthouse, and ruining Valerie’s shot at a fair trial,” Laura shot back.
“This is insane. You know what she did, what she took from all of us, and you’re more worried about her feelings than ours,” Cam complained.
Hazel rubbed his back and shot me a nervous look. Neither of us grew up in the kind of family that tackled problems so head-on…or so loudly. Hazel’s mother just divorced her problems. My family’s favorite weapon was sly insults and the silent treatment. We were both out of our depth here.
I was heartened to see the still-seething Cam gently pull Hazel into his side. Even fuming mad, Cam treated her like she was precious.
“Damn right I am,” Laura shot back. “Because we have each other. She has no one.”
Cam bared his teeth. “Maybe she should have thought of that before she got behind the wheel and—”
“Enough!” One sharp word from Frank, and everyone shut up.
Pep strolled over and gave her husband a peck on the cheek before grabbing a bottle of wine out of the fridge.
“Your sister stupidly and selfishly decided to handle this on her own. But what’s done is done.
The bottom line is if this is what brings Laura peace, this is what we want for her.
Even if she went behind our backs and used manipulation to rope Gage into it, and he didn’t think to remember any sense of family loyalty to give anyone a heads-up. ”
All eyes swiveled to Gage. He took a deliberate step in front of me. An impenetrable wall of sexy, beleaguered hero. The guy definitely had no clue how one-night stands worked.
“Nice, Mom,” he said, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
She shrugged and filled her wineglass to the rim. She raised her eyebrows in question at me and Hazel. We both nodded aggressively.
“I’m gonna kick your ass,” Cam announced to Gage.
“And this time, we’re not pulling the carpet tacks out of it,” Levi added.
“Wow, you guys are hardcore,” I noted.
I waited for someone to realize I had no business being here, but no one seemed to notice how ridiculous my presence was.
“Look,” Gage said. “None of this was my idea. But Laura asked me to do it, and she also asked me not to tell anyone. So that’s what I did.”
“If she asked you to jump off the water tower naked, would you?” Levi asked.
“Why does everyone keep asking me that? Yes, if I thought it would take one second of suffering away from her, then yeah. I would,” Gage said. “And so would you.”
“Still should have told us,” Cam said, inching closer.
Levi was doing the same thing. I brought my hands to Gage’s back as a warning and found the muscles there already tense.
“What would you have done if she’d asked you?” Gage demanded.
“Whatever she asked,” Cam snarled, hands striking out to grip Gage’s shirt in a lightning-quick move.
“What would you do if she’d asked us and not you?” Levi said, stepping to give Gage a shove.
“I’d be fucking pissed,” Gage said, shoving them both back a step.
I raised my hand over his shoulder. “Quick question. If you all would have done exactly what Gage did, why are you still fighting?”
“If you boys break another dining chair, I’m going to invite Aunt Marie to spend Christmas with us this year,” Pep warned, handing Hazel and then me glasses of wine.
“Where’s mine?” Laura pouted.
“Gee, I’m sorry,” Pep drawled at her daughter. “I thought you preferred to do everything on your own.”
Frank rolled his eyes heavenward.
“Brutal,” Hazel whispered with enthusiasm, whipping a notebook out of her purse.
“So we’re all just going to be assholes about everything? Great. That’s awesome,” Laura said, wheeling over to the wine fridge.
“You started it,” Cam reminded her as he, Gage, and Levi engaged in a three-way shoving match.
“This is exactly why I didn’t tell any of you assholes,” she complained.
The game of push and shove sent Levi’s broad-shouldered frame into the antique china cabinet. Dishes and glasses rattled threateningly on the shelves.
“That’s it. Corners!” Pep barked.
“We’re adults, Mom,” Gage argued, looking up from the headlock he had Cam in.
“Not from where I stand. Corners! Now!”
Hazel and I watched in fascination as four grown adults slunk off to separate corners of the kitchen.
“Now use your words and talk this out while your father and I throw the burgers and dogs on the grill,” Pep said, pointing a finger at each of her children in turn. The dogs happily followed Pep, Frank, and the tray of meat out the kitchen door.
I tiptoed over to Hazel. “This is going in the book, right?” I whispered over my wine.
“Oh, absolutely.”
“I didn’t tell you two assfaces because I didn’t want to put everyone in an uncomfortable, unfair position,” Laura said.
“Oh, just me then? I’m honored,” Gage said dryly.
“You were already pissed at me for this. You don’t get to revisit it.”
“Well, we’re freshly pissed at you, and we get to wallow,” Cam announced.
“That’s fair. But I need you to know, Val isn’t a bad person. She’s just a person who made a mistake. It could be argued that I was just as much to blame—”
“Oh, bullshit!” all three brothers erupted at once.
“At least they all agree on that,” Hazel noted.
“I’m just saying. She’s got two little girls. She’s a nurse. She lost her marriage. She lost her job. She lost friends.”
“We all lost too,” Levi said quietly.
“But the difference is we have each other,” Laura reminded them.
“I’m just asking for you to be open to eventually maybe having a little grace.
Valerie has been there for me when I needed support the most. Gage can attest to the fact that she takes full responsibility for what happened.
She’s never once asked me for anything, not even forgiveness.
She made a mistake. A catastrophic one.”
“Don’t fucking cry,” Cam said stonily from his corner.
“I’ll cry if I want to cry, and you’ll deal with it,” Laura said, hastily wiping away a tear. “I need you to eventually be good with this. But in the meantime, I’ll settle for you not being assholes.”
Cam and Levi locked eyes.
“Can we still kick Gage’s ass?” Cam asked.
“Not over this. But he’s routinely a pain in the ass, so I’m sure he’ll give you another reason if you wait five minutes,” Laura said.
“What now?” Levi asked. “Is she going to start showing up at family meetings too?”
I hid behind my untouched wine and tried to be as inconspicuous as possible.
“Maybe not family meetings. Possibly some family dinners. She’s met the kids,” Laura said.
“Those traitorous little fuckers didn’t give us a heads-up?” Cam snarled.
“They’re getting goose shit for Christmas,” Levi decided.
“We all voted no more feces for Christmas,” Gage cut in.
“Shut up,” Levi said to him.
“Yeah. We’re still mad at you,” Cam agreed.
“Why are they still in corners?” I asked Hazel.
“I was wondering the same thing,” she mused.
“Because Pep Bishop is terrifying when she’s pissed off,” Gage explained.
“Zoey?” Cam said, his voice low and vaguely threatening.
“Uh, yeah?”
“Why are you here?”
“I’m not actually sure. Your mom is scary. I didn’t ask questions. I just got in the car.”
“Whose car?” Cam demanded.
Gage was starting to inch his way out of his corner.
“Ummm…” I hedged.
An earsplitting hee-haw from outside cut off any conversation.
The back door banged open, and Pep entered with the dogs. “Zoey, your donkey wants to see you.”
“I would be happy to leave this room and visit a donkey,” I announced, heading for the door.
“Whose car, Zoey?” Cam repeated.
I winced.
“My car,” Gage said, crossing his arms and staring his brother down. “Mom found me at Zoey’s apartment and verbally berated us until we agreed to come here and fight with you. Happy now?”
“You better have been fixing something landlord-y, and not in the porno way,” Cam said.
“Not this again,” Levi muttered.
“What’s happening?” Laura demanded.
“For Pete’s sake. Can you pains in the ass stop keeping secrets from each other? Gage and Zoey are having sex,” Pep announced.
I groaned. “Uh, thanks, Pep. Can you say that a little louder? I don’t think Garland heard you in town.”
“Oh, relax, honey. Adults have been having casual sex since the beginning of time.”
“Huh. Good for you two,” Laura said. “Wait. You didn’t break your wrist doing a weird sex thing, did you?”
“Oh my God. Did you?” Hazel asked gleefully.
“Don’t ever answer that,” Levi begged.
“I’m going to kick. Your. Ass,” Cam seethed at Gage. He stormed out of his corner.
“Mom! Cam moved!” the other three siblings shouted, pointing at their brother.
“The only ass kicking happening tonight is whatever ass kicking I dole out. Got it?” Pep said, stepping between Cam and Gage.
“It’s like this kitchen turns them all back to ten-year-olds,” I observed to Hazel.
“Fascinating,” she whispered, writing furiously.
“Since when does Cam care who has sex?” Laura asked.
“Since he thinks we’re going to implode and blow up his wedding,” Gage explained.
“I’m just going to go see a donkey about a…something,” I said and left through the back door. The dogs followed me, bouncing off each other like furry pinballs with tongues.
“They about done in there?” Frank asked, wielding tongs over the grill next to the house as I trotted down the ramp. Pepe stamped impatiently at the gate.
Raised voices from inside had me grimacing. “I think they’re getting wound up again. It’s probably safer out here for a while.”
“Let’s have a hot dog,” Frank suggested.
I thought of my handful of cereal and my interrupted salad. “That sounds amazing,” I admitted.
He arranged two on buns and handed me one. “The condiments are inside, so we’ll have to eat ’em naked or go back in.”
I took a gigantic bite. “Naked’s good.”
He cut up another hot dog into thirds and tossed the pieces to our drooling canine audience. “Come on. Let’s take these on a walk before the donkey decides to run through another gate,” he suggested.
We took our dogs—both hot and four-legged versions—across the drive to the pasture where Pepe stamped his tiny hooves in excitement.
“Hi, buddy,” I said, giving his nose a scratch with my good hand. He leaned his big hairy head into me and let out a donkey sigh.
“He likes you,” Frank observed as I paused to take another bite of hot dog. “So Pep tells me you and Gage are having sex.”
I choked, then coughed, sending a piece of not-quite-chewed hot dog in an arc. Bentley beat Melvin and Nana to it, snarfing it up a split second after it hit the dirt.
“Oh my God. That’s gross,” I rasped. “Also, have you guys heard of being too open with each other?”
“If it were up to me, the only conversations we’d have would be farm, town, and weather related. But since I’ve got a wife with strong opinions, we have to talk about all this shit. I only bring it up because I think you’re good for him.”
“You do?” I said, taken aback. On what planet was the disheveled party girl good for the responsible, small-town hero?
“Kid’s always been serious, driven. School counselor called it being ‘goal-oriented.’ But there’s a hell of a lot more to life than just accomplishing goals.
His brothers and sister had to fight to get him to have fun,” Frank said, absently patting the donkey as he stared toward the horizon. “But he smiles easier with you.”
“He does? I mean, we’re not… We’re just… I don’t know what we are.”
“Maybe that’s part of the fun. Sounds like the yelling stopped,” he observed, nodding in the direction of the house. “Wanna chance it?”
The back door opened, and Gage ambled out, looking unscathed.
I turned back to Frank and stroked Pepe’s neck. “Hey, listen. I met with the high school marketing club today, and one of the things we talked about was them teaching a social media class for local businesses. I figured you might want to give it a shot.”
He nodded slowly, and the donkey nudged me with his big face. “I could do that.”
“And since Isla is in the club, I found a couple of online tutorials you can watch before the class so you know all the basics.”
Relief washed over Frank’s face. “Appreciate that. You’re a good kid, Zoey.”
“Thanks, Frank.”
“It’s safe to come inside,” Gage called out to us.
“That was fast,” Frank said.
“Mom got out the wooden spoon, so that shut everyone up pretty fast.”
“I’ll go get everything off the grill. See you inside.”
I alternated my pets between the needy donkey and the swarm of attention-seeking dogs.
“So I’m guessing inviting a one-night stand to a family meeting isn’t what you’re used to,” Gage said, reaching over to scratch Pepe’s ears.
“It is not. Your family has a lot of feelings. Loud ones.”
“That we do. You know, we were interrupted back at your place before you could decide to revisit the whole one-night-stand thing with me. I was thinking we should give it another try since everyone knows now. Maybe I’ll get it right this time.”
I tried to hide my smile by staring at the donkey. “I’m still weighing my options.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
“So is Cam going to kick my ass if I go back inside?” I asked. “Because I kinda want a burger.”
“If he tries, I’ll take him down before he can get to you.”
“My hero.”