Chapter 39
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Harmon
I dress myself in the same clothes I wore yesterday, since I have no other options here. Nothing of Cassius’s would fit me properly outside of a sweater, and that won’t work for me.
I run my hands down each item after putting it on, hoping to brush out some of the wrinkles, but it hardly makes a difference.
The bedroom door opens softly, and I’m careful to close it once out of the room.
Cassius is still sleeping soundly, and I won’t wake him if I don’t have to.
Sounds come from the kitchen, so I walk that way.
Chrissy is at the table eating a bagel with an inch of cream cheese and laughing at something on her phone.
Cammy is at the stove cooking something in a pan.
“Good morning,” I say.
They both look at me, their smiles bright.
“Morning,” they both return.
“Would you by chance have an extra toothbrush?” I ask.
Chrissy looks at Cammy, who smirks as she shuts off the stove and slides pancakes onto a plate.
“Pretty sure we do,” she says, moving by me to go into the bathroom that’s off the dining room. She digs around in the narrow closet for a few moments and hands me a purple toothbrush.
“Sorry, it’s the only extra.”
“I’m not afraid of colors,” I say.
“Toothpaste is in the cabinet above the sink. Do you want something to eat?” she asks.
“I don’t want to trouble you.”
“It’s no trouble at all if you’re happy with pancakes. The batter is already made.”
“Pancakes would be great.”
She leaves me in the bathroom and I brush my teeth, thinking about how the only people who have cooked for me my entire life were chefs.
I’ve never had a home-cooked meal. There was a time when my mother cooked, though I don’t remember it.
What I do remember are the awful remarks my father would make to her about how she was an awful housewife and can’t do anything right.
I assume he took the privilege of cooking from her and made it so the chef prepared everything for us.
Cassius appreciates his family, I can’t say that he doesn’t.
He does everything to make his sisters happy and make sure they’re cared for.
I wish he understood how much I appreciate this too…
because I never had it. Instead, he looks at it as a negative thing, as if money is more important than the love I feel in this apartment.
I’m not sure how to make him see that what he has is exactly what I dream of.
I wash my face and my hands, then go back to the kitchen.
“Just in time,” Camarra says. “Have a seat.”
I sit at the small round table across from Chrissy, whose eyes are glued to her phone. Her laugh is sweet, and it’s not an awful thing to hear first thing in the morning.
All three of them look very much alike, but the girls more so. Their hair and eyes are the same, and they have the same straight, narrow nose.
Camarra puts a plate of four pancakes in front of me.
“Wow. You think I have an appetite, do you?”
She shrugs. “You’re a big guy. You look like you could eat.”
I huff a laugh as the memory of how I best enjoy my pancakes crosses my mind… topped with Cassius’s cum.
“Syrup?” she asks.
“Please.”
I drizzle a small amount over the top and eat.
“Do either of you have somewhere to be this morning?”
“Yeah, I was going to wake up Cass soon. Chrissy has to be at school, and I have to go to work.”
“I can bring you.”
She raises a brow. glancing at Chrissy who shrugs. “Are you sure?”
“Of course. It would be my pleasure to bring you. Let him sleep. He had a rough day yesterday.”
“Can we stop for coffee?” Chrissy pipes up, her eyes wide.
“Uh, sure…”
Camarra rolls her eyes. “You’re an addict,” she says playfully.
“Can’t help it,” she says back. “When are we leaving?”
I look at Camarra.
“We usually leave in about ten minutes,” she explains.
“Ten minutes it is.”
I finish my food and the juice she gave me, then we head down to my car.
“Whoa, this is so nice!” Chrissy shouts. “Can I sit in the front? Please?” She looks at Camarra.
“Sure.”
“Yes!”
The car unlocks as I near and we get in.
“Oh my god, this is like a spaceship!” Chrissy says. “It’s so cool. Everyone at school is going to ask me a million questions.” She looks at me. “What can I tell them?”
“Oh, uh… well, maybe that your brother’s friend is really cool and has an awesome car.”
“So true,” she says, buckling her seatbelt.
“Where do we go for coffee?” I ask.
“Go that way,” she says, pointing straight down the road. “I’ll navigate.”
To be honest, I never thought I would have children in my car. Never. Not once. It’s certainly not a problem. It’s… enjoyable. Chrissy is lively and joyful.
She gives great directions to where we need to go. I don’t miss even a single turn.
“Is it okay if we go inside?” she asks.
“Of course.”
I pull into an empty spot, and we empty out of the car to go into the small building that smells overly sweet like pastries and with a hint of coffee.
“Are you going to get something?” Chrissy asks, bouncing on her feet.
“I’m not sure… I’ve never been here before. What’s good?”
“Hm,” she says, scanning the menu. “Are you a chocolate guy or vanilla guy?”
“Are those my only options?”
“Well, no, I was going easy on you. There’s pumpkin, hazelnut, caramel, butterscotch, cookie butter—”
“Cookie butter?” I ask.
“Oh, it’s my favorite. Do you think you’ll like it?”
“Let’s try it,” I say with a smile.
“You’re so cool,” she says, hooking her arm in mine and tugging me toward the counter. I glance at Camarra over my shoulder, who is laughing to herself. I can tell she’s as protective as Cassius is.
We get our coffees, and though I argue over paying, Camarra says they have an app they use, and it gives them points and comes directly off a gift card. I give in.
We get into the car with a bag stuffed full of pastries and each with a coffee in our hand.
“Honestly, you’re so much cooler than Cass. He never lets me get this much stuff.”
“That’s because it’s full of sugar,” Camarra comments.
“I can agree with that,” I say. “But splurging now and then is okay.”
“What do you think of the coffee?”
I pull it from the cup holder and take a sip.
“Oh, wow. That’s something alright,” I say with a chuckle.
Camarra laughs in the back as Chrissy grins at me.
“Coffee is amazing,” she says, then gives me directions on how to get to her school, which is a few blocks from their house in the opposite direction. I don’t mind the detour we took. This was nice.
When she is dropped off, Camarra jumps into the front seat.
“She can be a lot.”
“She’s great,” I say. “Just a teenager.”
“That’s true,” Camarra says. “Do you want me to give you directions, or would you rather use the GPS?”
“If you don’t mind, the GPS would be nice.”
She laughs as she types the address into the GPS on the screen.
“She doesn’t have a lot of friends,” Camarra explains. “Not only because we’re poor as dirt—well, were, I guess. But because kids are afraid of her—of the epilepsy. It’s scary, I can’t deny that, but it’s no reason not to be friends with someone.”
The directions pop up and I take off.
“Kids are cruel. Even I remember that much.”
“She thinks if she shows up at school with coffee every day, dressed like everyone else, that they’ll accept her.”
“She’ll grow out of that.”
“I don’t know,” she says with a sigh. “Maybe. I hate that she’s so desperate for attention. I don’t know how the kids react to her. I don’t know if they’re nice or making fun of her behind her back, and she’s too naive to know it.”
“At least if she’s too naive to know it, it won’t hurt her feelings.”
“I just want her to be happy.”
I wait a beat before saying, “Can I be honest with you?”
She looks at me carefully. “Yes.”
“I think you all are very happy, but you’re so worried about going back to a life that you hated, that you refuse to see it and accept it.”
She blinks at me, then nods. “You’re right, but it’s not easy to change our mindset.”
“Of course not.”
“Especially when what saved us isn’t guaranteed.”
“I told your brother I wouldn’t allow any of you to go back to what it was before, regardless of what happens with us.”
“No offense, but boyfriends always say that and things always change when they break up.”
“I understand your concern, but I assure you, I’m not like everyone else.”
I want to go on about all the things I’ve offered Cassius, like buying the building or giving him money, but I don’t want to cause tension between them.
If Cassius chose not to accept those things, that’s his choice.
It’s his family. Though, maybe him not accepting it was my fault. Maybe he didn’t know I was serious.
“We’ll see,” she says softly just as the GPS voice tells me to take a left at the next light.
We turn onto a street with broken down buildings and people sleeping on the sidewalk. Others stand on the corner, likely selling drugs. I glance at the GPS, noting the drop off location is three blocks down. It doesn’t look any better down there.
I turn into the lot for the laundromat Camarra works at. The windows are taped, and the sign is hanging off the building.
“Do you like working here?” I ask as she unbuckles her seatbelt.
“Uh, I don’t mind it,” she says. “It’s a job, and they aren’t easy to find around here, especially for someone like me with no college experience.”
“But if you could do something else, would you?”
She narrows her eyes. “I don’t know. Maybe?”
“Cassius told me you are interested in going to school to be a nurse.”
“Yeah, but that’s the thing—I need schooling for that.”
“What if I offered you a job working for me? Would you take it?”
“What?” she gasps. “What do you—how would I? I don’t understand what you’re asking me.”
I take a deep breath, running my hands along my thighs.
“I need to be honest with you, Camarra, I don’t feel comfortable even driving on this street, never mind leaving you here.
I understand it’s a job you need, but if you don’t need it anymore—if I could offer you something better, something with better pay in a safe location with benefits and hours that will work for school… ”
“This is…” she says absently, staring at the floor.
“I don’t know what to say.” She looks at me, her eyes watery.
“I don’t want to say you’re a bad person, Harmon, but I don’t know you.
How do I know that if whatever is going on with you and my brother goes south, that I won’t get screwed and we will both be out of a job?
I don’t get paid well here, but I do get paid. ”
“You can sign a contract. My company does them with employees all the time. It’s normal—most of the time required.”
“I don’t… I’m sorry, this is a lot.”
“Look, you have my number. Please think about it and call me, okay?” I pause, then add, “I care about your brother, meaning I care about his family. I want you all to be safe and happy.”
She nods, taking a deep breath. “We don’t have people who care about us, so…” She takes another shuddering breath. “That means a lot. Thank you.”
“Please be safe, and I hope to hear from you today. If you need anything at all, use my number, Camarra. Don’t feel bad about it. Don’t feel guilty. I want to help.”
Nodding, she gets out of the car and hurries into the building. I stay for a moment longer, staring at the dilapidated shack and wondering how it hasn’t caught fire yet.