Chapter 19 - Auden
AUDEN
My phone rings as I drive home, and I’m almost amused to see Jalon’s name flash on my dashboard. I answer with, “Uh, yeah.”
Jalon sighs. “You sound uncivilized.”
I laugh. “Two days, two calls. I’m beginning to think you like me. Trying for my top three, are you?”
“No, I’m satisfied with the top ten.”
“Then what’s up? I won’t even try to distract you today.” I’m nearly home, and I’m fucking famished. I’m hoping that I can take the kids and Mark for dinner tonight. I’m tired of cooking.
“This is a social call. Your kid did exactly as I asked of him yesterday, so I’m happy.”
“I almost wish I knew what he looked like before he was all mangled,” I muse. “It’s rare that my stomach churns, but damn. The pack earned their keep yesterday.”
“Indeed.”
“What are you gossiping about?”
“I’m not gossiping,” he deadpans. “I’m… predicting.”
“Yes. I see the distinction.”
“Do you want to become my top fifteen, Auden?”
I laugh. “No. I’ll play along. Give me details.”
“Ara and Elgin are moving their primary residence to the Estate this summer.”
“Ohhhh. Okay. Series of questions. Is Ara retiring like Noaz?”
“Semi-retiring.”
“Interesting. Is Elgin retiring from hockey?”
“He isn’t.”
“Twist. How about—is Elgin selling his house in Philly?”
“He is not, which makes sense since he’s remaining in Philly for hockey.”
“This is curious. Is Ara going to move to the Estate while Elgin is at hockey, or move in with Elgin and follow him around like a puck bunny?”
Jalon chuckles. “Puck bunny, and please call him that next time you see him.”
“Oh, I’m going to.”
“What do you think of these events?”
“I think one of them is pregnant.”
“Right… now let’s try for realistic outcomes.”
Grinning, I say, “Keeping that prediction, though maybe not one of them bringing a baby to term. The pattern has been very simple these last couple years. When your kids and brothers are ready to settle down and start a family, they want to move home. I’m not surprised that Ara is next to join the ranks. ”
He sighs. “That’s what I think too.”
“How do you feel about it?”
“Honestly? I’m not sure there are words to describe the way I feel. To know that I’ve created this environment that my kids and brothers want to return to when they’re ready to raise a family? It’s… humbling.”
“Of course they do, Jalon. You’re far harder on yourself than you should be. While you’re willing to give everyone else slack, you refuse to allow yourself any. You are home, cousin. Not the Estate. You.”
He sighs. “You think that?”
“I do. I’d bet you my most prized possessions that if you announced you were moving the Estate to another damn country, and that’s where your primary residence was going to be moving to as well, the entire Estate would be deserted to follow you. You are the heart of this family, Jalon.”
“Thank you,” he says, voice quiet. “I’m not sure I believe that, but I appreciate the sentiment. Also, don’t promise me your junk. That’s crude.”
I laugh. “What?”
“The way you hoe around leads me to believe that your most prized possessions are your junk. I don’t need them in any bet.”
My laughter is loud and fills the cab of my vehicle. Fuck. Jalon has found his sense of humor.
“Anyway,” Jalon says. “I will make a wager.”
“What’s that?”
“Within a week of my brother and his partner moving back to the Estate, we’ll have another baby announcement.”
“I’ll take that bet. Though I’m going to shorten that. I think within forty-eight hours.”
He hums. “Think you’ll have another kid, Auden?”
My eyes widen. “Dude, I’m fifty-three. Incredibly unlikely.” Jalon doesn’t answer, and I have a feeling I know where this is going. “You want one or does Levis?”
“Levis made it clear when we talked about making this relationship official that he wanted at least one kid.” He pauses. “To be honest, I didn’t think about it at all. I agreed because I want Levis.”
“Now you’re having second thoughts?” I guess.
“No… I think… Maybe I’m excited.”
“Oh?”
“I feel guilty for being excited because it’s not just having a kid with Levis that I’m excited about. I’m excited to do it right this time. To be there for everything. Every day. Something I didn’t give my sons.”
When the world looks at Jalon, they see someone aloof and unaffected by anything.
He has a terrifying calm that doesn’t lift and cannot be shaken.
He doesn’t show a lot of emotion, and I think that colors a lot of opinions about the kind of man he is.
What they don’t see is that Jalon is incredibly sensitive to those important to him.
He feels things deeply. His loyalty is unwavering, and it hurts him immensely.
Especially when he believes he’s failed someone he loves, he’s unforgiving toward himself. It’s worse when he believes he’s hurt those he loves. I’m not sure he’ll ever forgive himself.
I’m not surprised that his excitement to parent differently—correctly, as he likely views it—is bothering him. In a way, he’s giving himself a second chance to be the parent he wasn’t for his sons. This will be something he’ll also hold against himself for a very long time.
“You’re there every day for your sons now.
And for your grandkids. I bet if you asked any of your kids, this means more to them than you wishing you could change the past. They’re strong kids.
They’ve learned how important family is.
Jalon, I can almost guarantee that if Loren had grown up under different circumstances, he would not be as down-to-earth as he is.
Which is saying a lot since Loren exists on a different plane already.
I promise you, those boys love you more than you understand.
They don’t hold Martha’s actions against you. ”
“They should,” he says.
“No, they shouldn’t. Her actions aren’t your responsibility. She chose to be a shitty mother. She chose to abuse those kids. She chose to disregard you and manipulate the situation throughout their entire childhoods.”
Jalon sighs. I know I’ll never convince him of this. No one will. But I also won’t stop telling him every time it comes up.
“Okay, so… Arath and Elgin will be moving home sometime in August. We’ll see who’s right or whether we’re off base entirely,” Jalon says.
“Sounds good. I think we’re right, though. Home is where everyone wants to raise their kids. I think I’d beg for a space if I were going to start over. Rhodes would have benefited from being closer to his cousins as a kid.”
“People to distract him from his slutty father?”
I laugh. “Yes. Exactly.”
He hums. “I’ll be in touch. Have a nice night.”
“Same.”
We end the call, and I immediately pull up the contacts on my phone and scroll to Mark. Hitting dial, I wait. It rings and rings and rings before going to voicemail.
“Hey, wondering if you’re up for dinner tonight. I’m thinking the four of us head out for some comfort food. It’ll be good for Bennett to leave the house. Let me know.”
I end the call and use my buttons on the steering wheel to navigate through my phone and bring up the text logs. No new texts from Mark. Instead of waiting for him to call back, I send a text using my voice-to-text feature.
“Hey. I just left you a message. You up for going out to dinner tonight with the kids and me?”
While I wait for Mark to respond, I call my kid.
“We just went hunting yesterday,” Rhodes says in answer.
I chuckle. “How about we go out for dinner? It’ll be good for Bennett to leave the house.”
He sighs dramatically. “Yeah, okay.”
“Cool. Is Mark there?”
“Nope. He left a few hours ago. Headed back to the cabin.”
Huh. “Okay, cool. I’ll give him a call.”
“’kay, we’ll be ready when you get home.”
I end the call and check the messages. No answer.
Not a big deal. It’s not like he needs to drop everything to answer me. I don’t own him. As I’ve continuously pointed out to Jalon, we’re not in a relationship. He doesn’t owe me an answer if he chooses not to answer.
Maybe he’s taking a nap… that would explain why he didn’t answer his phone or my text.
Fifteen minutes later, I pull into the driveway and still haven’t heard from Mark. Something heavy sits in my gut, and I can’t shake the feeling. It’s ridiculous. I know that. This is my private property. Nothing is wrong. I’m going to get to the cabin and find that Mark is sleeping.
I don’t bother to go into the house, though I stop in the shed for a knife and a gun. Just in case. I’d rather feel foolish than find myself unprepared. We’re far away from any property lines, so it’s unlikely that someone could just pop up out of nowhere. I have security cameras everywhere, too.
Maybe that’s what I need to do to calm my mind. I haven’t received a notification recently.
It’s fine. I’m just easing my mind. Maybe I’ll wake Mark up by sucking his dick. Or putting mine in his mouth. We haven’t talked about somno explicitly, but I feel like that falls into stalker play.
I follow the path to the cabin Mark’s staying in, keeping my eyes open as I do.
Taking note of everything. The front door is closed, as it always is.
The chair is slightly askew, as if someone had been sitting in it and moved slightly to get out of a ray of sunlight that broke through the canopy. Not that there’s any sun today.
Before I step onto the front porch, something to my right catches my eye, and my focus narrows. That’s the electrical box. The wires have been pulled out.
The sour feeling in my gut twists, and this has suddenly just jumped into a serious situation. I don’t use the front door. I move around the side of the cabin, keeping tightly to the side of the house and out of view of the windows.
A noise inside makes me pause. It sounds close. My heartbeat spikes, but I keep my calm. It sounds as if someone is moving around. For just a minute, I try to convince myself that it’s Mark, and he’s fine. Then I remind myself that the electricity has been fucked with.
The rustling moves away, and I take a chance to peek inside. The figure moves around the corner and into the bedroom. Anger fills me. That’s not Mark. He’s far too emaciated to be Mark.
He’s also moved away from the door, so I turn back to the front of the cabin and make my way inside. As stealthily as I can, I move through the entry and stop short when I find Mark’s body sprawled on the floor. My heart nearly stops. There’s a pool of blood around his head.
Fear spikes, and panic swirls inside me. While it’s difficult to look away, I force my attention up to make sure the intruder isn’t back in the room and then crouch down to check for Mark’s vitals. I nearly lose my shit when I can’t find his pulse right away.
My hand is shaking, though. It takes me several attempts to locate it, and while it’s not strong, it is steady.
Hang on just another minute, I tell him silently. Don’t you dare leave me.
Under different circumstances, I might question the line of my thoughts. But right now, all I can do is concentrate on the situation.
Noise from the bedroom makes me look up. I stand, grip the knife in my hand, and back into the shadows. I don’t recognize the man who steps out of the bedroom. He doesn’t look at Mark. His gaze is pointed in the other direction. Into the living room. Who is he?
He turns in my direction, and his eyes drop to Mark. His lips press together, and then he’s looking around him. Looking for something. When he picks up the rolling pin on the chair and turns back to Mark, that’s it. That’s all I can take.
I step out from where I’m standing, and his eyes meet mine.
He holds the rolling pin like a bat, so I pull out the gun on my hip.
Cock the barrel and point it at his head.
His eyes go wide. The next second, the only sound echoing through the room is that of the pistol when I shoot the fucker who hurt my man.