Chapter 6 – Gavin
6
Three Times is Three Times Too Many
Gavin
I SHOULD HAVE found a way to make Alexis stay the night of the party. Should have stopped her when she started to leave and done all the things I can’t stop thinking about doing now.
Instead, I’ve spent the days since watching her run across the yard in my T-shirt, imagining what it would have been like if I’d popped my head out of my ass and gotten to touch her the way I’m desperate to now.
“What’s wrong?” My dad scowls at me across the table, a forkful of steak dinner hanging in front of his mouth.
“Nothing.” I lean back in my seat and stab at my own filet.
Our yearly Christmas dinner is going about as well as it always does. He spends the whole meal bitching about my mother and downing top-shelf bourbon, and I do my best not to roll my eyes at having to listen to the same bitter story for the millionth time.
I get why he’s upset, I do, but I’d fucking love it if we could talk about something else for once.
“You sure as hell don’t have anything to be pissy about.” My old man chews his mouthful. “You’re good-looking, rich, and you don’t have a woman fucking up your life.” He points the tines of his fork at my face. “And you should keep it that way. The only thing a woman will do is take your money and break your fucking heart.”
His bitterness has only grown since he and my mother finally divorced after years of infidelity—hers—and misery—his. I see where he’s coming from. In his mind, he loved the shit out of her and it was never enough.
I’m still sick of hearing about it, though, so I try to shift the topic. “How’s work going? They keeping you busy?”
My dad shrugs. “They always keep me busy.” He downs what’s left of his drink, looking around for our server so he can order another. “But what else have I got to do?” He snorts, the sound lacking any amusement. “It’s not like I’ve got women beating down my door like you do.” He catches our waiter’s eye and lifts his glass. “Take full advantage of it while you can.”
I shift in my seat, not any happier with the turn the conversation has taken. Not long ago I was taking full advantage of the opportunities being thrown my way, but—like things with Alexis—that changed, and I can’t seem to get back where I was.
“Have fun while you can so you have the memories when you can’t.” My dad continues on, barreling into the same lecture he’s given me every time I’ve seen him for the past ten years. “But never trust a single one of them, and make sure as hell you don’t fall in love.” His creased eyes narrow when they meet mine. “You remember what happened the last time you let a girl make a fool of you.”
“I remember.” And even if I didn’t, he wouldn’t let me forget. It’s the event that defined our relationship and brought us together. The common ground every interaction we have always ends up centering around.
My dad’s scowl morphs into a smirk. “I bet that girl’s kicking herself now for what she did to you.” His eyes drift to one side, lighting up as they fix on a spot over my right shoulder. “Don’t look now, but you’re getting some attention from a couple tables over.” He jerks his chin in the direction he’s looking. “Pretty little thing with a big smile. You can go talk to her. I don’t mind.”
My tri-annual dinners with my dad have gotten less and less enjoyable the past few years. Time has only made him angrier, and the glee in his gaze over the thought of me sleeping with some random woman and cutting her loose turns my stomach. “I don’t want to go talk to her.”
I know what my dad thinks of me, but while I have made my way into more than a few beds, I always told them the truth. That I wasn’t looking for anything more. I wouldn’t be calling them. We wouldn’t be going out to dinner or movies. And nearly all of them were fine with it. The ones who weren’t, walked away, so I never felt bad about what I was doing. It wasn’t about punishing every woman I met for what one of them did to me.
In spite of what my dad obviously thinks.
“Fine.” He smiles wide, waving one hand in a beckoning motion. “Then I’ll bring her over here.”
“Don’t—” I clamp my mouth shut as a brunette bounces up next to our table. She beams at me as she rocks up onto her toes.
“Have you met my son Gavin?” My dad lays on the charm he’s capable of in spite of his normally shitty temperament. “He plays for the Cape Coral Swamp Cats.”
“You’re The Wall.” The woman looks to be a couple years younger than me—probably Al’s age, but she’s way more bubbly and smiley than my best friend’s little sister. “I’m Betsy.”
I only give her half a smile because I don’t want her getting any wrong ideas. “Nice to meet you.” That’s all I offer her before standing from my seat. “If you’ll excuse me.” I don’t say where I’m going because I’m not going to lie. If they think I’m heading to the bathroom, that’s on them.
Cutting across the restaurant, I find our waiter and pay the bill before ducking out into the night, leaving my dad to deal with the mess he created. Over the years, I’ve done my best to keep some sort of relationship with him so I’d at least have one parent in my life, but the time I can stomach him has dwindled more every time I see his face.
And might have just dropped to zero.
My mood keeps dropping as I climb behind the wheel of my new Hummer SUV. It’s a little too flashy for my taste, but after wasting hours of my life trying to shoehorn myself into cars with no legroom, I got over it. Thank God, because at least I’m comfortable while I stew over my dad and how badly I fucked up with Al.
By the time I get home, I’m pissed as hell, so instead of going to my own door, I stop at the one next to it and knock. Fynn, my friend and neighbor, opens it after a few seconds. The wealthy businessman whose condo takes up the other half of our floor of the ocean-view building is normally perfectly groomed, but tonight his button-up shirt is open at the neck and his dark hair is sticking out in all directions.
I take a step back, realizing I’ve interrupted an evening of marital bliss... Again. “I’ll come back later.”
“It’s fine.” Fynn’s new wife Val ducks under his arm, giving me a smile. “He was pacing around because he found out his mother decided to start another business.”
Warmth and envy hit my gut in almost equal proportions. “If anyone can juggle it, she can.”
Fynn’s mother is just coming out of a cancer battle and she’s never been one to sit idly, so I can imagine she’s gunning to get back to normal. For her, that equals brainstorming and creating new business ventures.
“She needs to give herself time to recover.” Fynn rakes one hand through his hair, explaining its current state. “It’s bad enough she insists on hosting a party to celebrate our marriage and the baby.”
Party makes it sound like Helena’s organizing a small get-together for friends and family. Like the one Babs and Dan hosted last week. But that’s not Helena’s style. Her style will be in the ballroom of a hotel with a caterer and a florist and gold-foiled invitations.
As Fynn paces away, Val grabs my arm, pulling me into their condo before closing the door. “Your mother would be miserable if she did what you want her to do. And you know that.” She goes to the fridge, taking out a beer and passing it off to me while staying focused on her husband. “And I’m helping her, so it’s not like she’s doing it all on her own.”
Fynn turns to his wife, hands out at his sides. His voice pitches so quickly I can almost hear his blood pressure rise. “You’re pregnant. You shouldn’t be doing it either.”
Val lets out a long sigh, eyes rolling my way. “You talk to him.” She walks past Fynn, pausing to push up onto her toes so she can press a kiss against her husband’s cheek. “Listen to your friend. He’s a smart guy.”
Fynn grabs her before she can leave, pulling his wife close and burying his face in her dark hair. He murmurs something I can’t hear before releasing her, then watches as she walks down the hall.
That pang of envy hits me again at the easy show of affection and the expression on his face. It’s pure, unfiltered and unrestrained adoration. Offered like a man who’s unafraid of letting someone have that kind of power over his heart and his life.
Once she’s out of sight, my friend turns to me, raking his hand through his hair once more. “She’s going to make me bloody gray before the baby comes.”
I hold out my untouched beer. “Don’t worry too much. It’ll make you look distinguished.”
Fynn takes the bottle and drinks some down as he goes to flop onto the sofa. “Tell me you came here to talk about something besides my mother and wife teaming up to make me lose my mind.”
I take a seat in one of the armchairs I used to spend a decent amount of time occupying before Val came into my neighbor’s life. “I’m not sure hearing about my bullshit will make you feel any better.”
“It most certainly will.” He slides the half empty beer onto the coffee table. “How was dinner with your dad?”
I sigh, shaking my head. “I don’t even know why I try, man. He’s fucking miserable, and he loves it.” I pause before admitting something I’ve been avoiding for years. “I think he wants me to end up just like him.”
Fynn stares at me for a few long seconds before blowing out a breath. “I’m afraid I’d have to agree with you on that one.” He picks his beer back up, taking a sip. “From what you’ve said, he seems to love imagining you out in the world, punishing the female population for what your mother did to him.”
“That’s not what I was doing.” My response is swift and sharp. “I never led a single woman on. I never let any of them think it was more than it was.”
“I know that, and you know that, but he doesn’t know that.” Fynn pauses, leaning forward, his voice softening. “Did you tell him you’ve been celibate for six months?”
I don’t respond immediately, because technically, I broke that streak a few nights ago. I might not have had sex with Alexis, but I’m not sure I can still claim I’ve been living like a monk. “It’s none of his business.”
Again, my friend studies me, and it takes everything I have not to shift in my seat. For the bulk of our friendship, it was me offering Fynn advice as his world crumbled around him. I’m starting to discover it’s not as fun to be on the other side.
“What do you think he’d say if he knew?”
I let the question marinate for a second, and the answer I come up with surprises me. “I don’t think I care.” I’ve tried to ignore how shitty my dad is for years because I hated the thought of not having a parent in my life.
Like so much else in the past six months, it seems that’s changed as well.
I don’t want to spend my life dealing with more incidents like tonight. I don’t want to tolerate his fucked-up opinions or be forced to wallow alongside him in his misery. I understand what it’s like to have your heart broken. I also understand it changes you. But you can’t let it ruin you forever.
And you can’t let it affect other people.
Which means I have to figure out how to fix what happened between Alexis and me. She didn’t deserve for me to take without giving, and she sure as hell didn’t deserve for me to make everything weird between us.
But my desire to right the wrong I created isn’t just for her benefit. I have some purely selfish reasons to smooth this whole thing over.
Without my dad, her family is the only family I have. And while the thought of leaving my dad behind doesn’t sit as uncomfortably as I thought it would, the thought of losing them makes me sick to my stomach.
I’ve got to fix this. And I’ve got to do it before I have to face her—and them—Christmas morning.