MistleFoe

Chapter 14

Archer

Most of my life, I avoided change. I fought against it even. I disliked anything that made me feel out of control and vulnerable.

Yet here I was, running—no, sprinting—toward something new. No. Someone.

Of course, it could be argued that Toby was not new.

I would agree.

Toby wasn’t new. He was inevitable.

I’d fought against that for a long time too.

Using any excuse to retreat into the safe life I created and hide.

I wasn’t exactly sure why. Fear of the unknown?

Getting hurt? Or maybe fear of not being good enough.

Looking at it now from the perspective of after the mistletoe kiss, it seemed like a waste of time.

Perhaps, though, it hadn’t been a waste but an opportunity for us to find our way back to each other. The groundwork for building something worthy of forever.

Because after that kiss? Forever was the only option.

For the first time in my life, I was excited for change and ready to make room, so much room, for Toby in my life.

Just because I was ready, though, didn’t mean I wasn’t nervous. The nerves were real. Very real. Why did change have to be so damn uncomfortable?

But I wasn’t running. Not this time. I couldn’t let fear hold me back.

Just look at last night.

The idea of kissing him scared the bejesus out of me. What if I hated it? I’d never kissed another man before. What if it was terrible? What if I spent ten years regretting pushing him away and pining over him, only to kiss him and realize all these feelings were not romantic?

And then he spent hours scouring through the dark, looking for my dog. The picture he made standing under the old oak tree with snow clinging to his shoulders and my hat on his head made me realize something.

He was worth it.

All the fear, self-doubt, and change… he was worth all of it.

So I kissed him under the mistletoe.

Best kiss of my life.

Now what?

How exactly did a man go from friends to enemies to more? Forever was a romantic notion, but love outlasting time itself seemed daunting. And, if I were being honest, rather improbable.

Try anyway.

The bistro glowed warmly, the only bright spot on Main Street this early in the morning. Snow had stopped falling at some point over the night, but the wind was still strong, sending gusts of fresh white powder over the plowed roads.

My stomach dipped as I drove closer, seeing Toby’s Outback parked at the curb. Slowing, I pulled up behind him and shut off the ignition. Beside me, Marlowe wiggled in excitement, his large body filling the entire bench seat.

“We’re going, we’re going,” I told him fondly, and he answered with a whine.

When I turned back to shut the passenger door, he was there, filling the open space, his tail beating the dash frantically. “So much for going around to the passenger side,” I said, leaning in to scoop his large, furry body into my arms. Usually, I would let him jump down but not with his paw.

It was well on its way to healing, but after his adventures on the farm last night, I figured it was best not to push our luck.

Once he was gently on the ground, he bounded around the truck and onto the sidewalk, nose in the air and working overtime. Guess that meant whatever Bab already had in the oven was Marlowe-approved.

I grabbed the large blanket I’d brought along and went to the front door, which Marlowe bolted through without even pausing. I hollered for him again, but he didn’t listen, racing behind the counter and toward the back.

He let out a bark, and I hurried after him, cursing beneath my breath. “Haven’t even had any coffee yet,” I grumbled, hitching the blanket higher so I didn’t trip.

I only made it as far as the doorway when I stopped, heart squeezing at the sight waiting for me. Toby was smiling ear to ear and down on one knee in front of Marlowe with his hands buried in the fur on his neck.

“What a good boy,” he crooned, itching behind his ear and making Marlowe’s back paw thump against the floor. Marlowe whined and licked Toby’s face, making him laugh.

Suddenly, trying to outlast forever didn’t seem like such a difficult task.

“I see we have a special visitor this morning,” Bab called from across the kitchen.

I walked the rest of the way into the kitchen and put down the blanket against the wall.

Turning to Bab, I said, “He’s been restless with his injured paw, and I haven’t been at the farm as much…

I didn’t have the heart to make him get out of the truck this morning when he leaped in and wagged his tail. I can take him out in the dining room—”

Bab made a sound and waved my words away. “He’s fine. Just keep him over there away from the food.”

Relieved, I called for Marlowe and got him settled on the blanket. “Stay,” I instructed and then went to where Bab was filling eggnog cream puffs.

“Thanks, Bab,” I said, leaning in and kissing her cheek.

She laughed and shooed me away. “Thank me by finishing the gingerbread.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I said dutifully while leaning around and snagging a fresh pastry.

“Archer Hodge, just what do you think you’re doing?” she scolded, hand on her apron-clad hip.

“I didn’t get breakfast. Do you want me to starve?”

Her lips pursed. “You don’t even like eggnog.”

In a town as small as Winterbury, it was hard to have secrets.

Eyes twinkling, I whispered, “But it’s Toby’s favorite.”

She giggled under her breath, and I winked.

“Go on,” she shooed.

Just finished washing his hands, Toby turned from the sink, a brown paper towel in his hand. He looked at me and flushed, eyes darting away before coming back.

Is he nervous too?

Funny how that made me feel a lot more confident.

Strolling over, I sidled up beside him at the island, so close we almost touched. “I got you something,” I whispered in his ear as I lifted the cream puff under his nose.

He made a sound, a cross between a laugh and a groan. “You mean you aren’t going to eat it this time?”

“Hell no. I don’t like eggnog.”

He laughed. How I’ve missed that sound. “How nice of you to steal something from Bab’s for me.”

I leaned in close once more. “I’m probably on Santa’s naughty list now.”

“I do have a thing for bad boys.”

Who needed coffee when you could just flirt with your forever?

“You gonna eat it or not?” I asked, jiggling it in front of him. “I worked hard on this.”

He laughed again, and this time, the movement had his shoulder brushing against my chest. Awareness raced through my body and made my heart skip.

“Since you worked so hard,” he mused and reached for the pastry.

I pulled it back with a tsking sound.

He glanced at me, arching his brow. “Let me guess. You suddenly love eggnog.”

I smiled. “Not a chance. But I suddenly want to feed you.”

Caught off guard, the amusement dropped from his face and was instantly replaced with a cute pink blush high on his cheeks. His lips rolled in then out while he looked everywhere but at my face.

“You’re adorable,” I whispered.

His eyes flew to mine. “I am not.”

“Oh, yes, Tobes. You definitely are.”

The blush spread across his nose, and he started to look sunburned in the middle of winter.

Enjoying this way too much, I lifted the cream puff to his lips. “Bite.”

“Archer,” he whined, eyes darting to Bab.

“Was that a protest?”

He made a soft sound.

I tapped the pastry against his lips, smearing some of the filling onto his lower lip. His tongue darted out to swipe it away immediately, and his eyes flared with pleasure.

“Good?”

His eyes flew to mine, and I held his hot chocolate gaze while I fed him a bite.

He groaned a little when it hit his taste buds. “God, have I missed these over the years.”

“Well, you’ve already spent your last Christmas without them. Never again.”

He leaned in, and I fed him another bite.

Tension crowded the space around us, and the way it felt to kiss him last night flooded my thoughts and made me crave it again. When he shifted back, my attention was riveted by the cream clinging to the corner of his mouth.

“You’ve got something,” I murmured, gesturing to his mouth.

“Where?” he asked, reaching up to wipe it away.

“You missed,” I murmured, shuffling forward so the toes of our shoes bumped. He stilled, round eyes watching as I leaned closer to swipe the cream away. “See,” I said, holding my thumb up for him to see the mess before pushing it between my lips to suck it clean.

His pupils expanded as he watched, the Adam’s apple in his throat bobbing like something lost at sea.

“I thought you didn’t like eggnog,” he said.

“No. But I like the taste of you.”

His eyes turned from milk chocolate to dark, and it was oh so satisfying.

“Boys!” Bab’s yell cut through the thick tension holding us hostage, and we jerked apart as though we’d been caught committing a crime. “What in heaven’s name are you doing over there? That gingerbread has to be done by tonight!”

“Yes, ma’am!” Toby called, backing away from me to grab his mug (the snowman one this time) to take a drink as though he needed to fortify himself. The entire time he did so, he avoided my watchful gaze.

Finally, he put aside the mug and turned to the gazebo. “If you keep looking at me like that, we will never be finished.”

“Like what?”

He made a choked sound. When I said nothing else, he stared out of the corner of his eye. “Like you deserve to be on Santa’s naughty list.”

“With the thoughts I’m having right now… I do.”

He made another choked sound and then pointed to the pantry. “Go get some gumdrops and edible glitter.”

I went to do his bidding.

“And some powdered sugar,” he called.

Arms full, I brought it all back to the island, and we got to work making a fresh batch of royal icing and then decorating.

A short while later, Toby started on the Christmas tree that we would place inside.

“I don’t think this icing is thick enough. It’s not holding its shape,” he said with a sigh, stepping back so I could see the droopy-looking branches.

I laughed. “Let me see,” I said, gesturing for the icing bowl.

He passed it over, and I went to mix in more confectioner’s sugar. When it was good and thick, I brought it back. “Try it now.”

“Thank you,” he said, our fingers brushing as he accepted the bowl.

Just that small touch made my entire body hum.

“You think we’ll get this done by tonight?” he asked, breaking me free of the spell.

I nodded quickly. “Definitely. We don’t have much more to go.”

“And then our forced proximity will be over,” he said, stepping back to show me the thicker icing was working.

“Looks good.” I agreed. Then, “It hasn’t been so bad.”

“Speak for yourself,” he chided, all the while piping green branches on the tree.

An inkling of insecurity washed over me. “You hated it that much?”

He glanced up. “When I thought you were pining for some guy that wasn’t me? Torture.”

Some of the tension knotting my lower stomach released, and I rolled my eyes. “Please, I’m the one who had to watch Brett make moon eyes at you everywhere we went.”

“He was not,” Toby hissed.

“Was too,” I hissed back.

“I’m not interested in Brett.”

“I’m not interested in anyone but you.”

“Words I genuinely thought I’d never hear,” he murmured, head bent, still icing that stupid tree. “Still feels a little surreal to hear it now. Like I’m going to wake up and realize this is all a dream.”

Setting aside the edible glitter, I went to him, laying my hand on his arm. He paused and looked up. Whatever he saw on my face had him straightening, piping bag forgotten.

“I know it took me a long time to get here. Way longer than you deserved, but I mean it. Every word. I want to be with you.”

He rotated so we were facing each other, the gingerbread gazebo on the countertop in front of us.

“I want to be with you too. It’s all I ever wanted.”

Resting my hand against his waist, I curled my fingers into his shirt. “That’s good because I’m not changing my mind.”

“It doesn’t feel weird to… want to be with another man?”

“Not when that man is you.”

“For someone so grumpy, you sure do say a lot of nice words.”

I smiled. “I was only grumpy because I didn’t have you.”

“Think Bab would notice if I kissed you?” he wondered.

“Do you care if she notices?”

“Do you?”

In response, I puckered my lips.

He laughed under his breath and leaned in. Seconds later, the cold, rubbery end of a spatula lay against my lips.

My eyes popped wide, meeting an equally startled set of hot-chocolate ones. Cutting my eyes to the side, I saw Bab standing there with a spatula pushed between us.

“Back to work, slackers!” she announced.

“Aww, Bab,” I bemoaned.

She swatted me with the spatula. “Save it for the mistletoe,” she ordered. “Now finish that tree.”

Toby got back to work immediately.

I watched her retreat across the room to whatever she was baking.

“It doesn’t surprise you we almost kissed?” I called.

She snorted. “Mon chéri, no one is surprised. In fact, I speak for the whole town when I say it’s about time!”

“But we hated each other,” Toby refuted.

She laughed. “There’s a thin line between love and hate. And my boys, the one between you two is practically see-through.”

We shared a look. No way the entire town had known this entire time.

Bab hollered something in French, and we got back to work immediately. She was scary when she went into French mode.

A short while later, we were putting the finishing touches on the tree when I said, “Guess no one will be surprised when you move back, then.”

Toby was silent for a moment. Too silent for too long a moment.

My stomach suddenly felt too full. Reluctantly, I looked up. He was already looking at me. “Move back?” he asked.

Had I misunderstood? We were together now. Right? “Ah,” I said, suddenly self-conscious and awkward. “I-I thought we were together.”

“We are.”

That was good news, but also… I was now more confused than ever.

“My life is in Boston, Archer. My apartment, my job,” he said.

But I’m here.

“Right,” I said. “Of course.” After a moment, I cleared my throat. “I guess I just thought…”

“That I would abandon everything I worked for and come home?”

I went quiet, my chest tight, emotions overfull but not in a good way. The urge to run and avoid this tempted me.

But then I remembered I’d be running to a place that didn’t have him.

“Of course not,” I said. “I would never ask you to do that. You’ve worked really hard and have accomplished so much.”

“I really love my job in Boston.”

“Yeah,” I said. “Yeah, I know you do.”

“It was one kiss,” he said. “I can’t just change my entire life for one kiss.”

“I guess it wasn’t just a kiss to me.”

Toby’s face fell. Silence echoed between us.

Heart bruised, I turned back to the gingerbread. “We should get this finished. It needs to be at the auction tonight.”

“Archer—”

“It’s okay, Tobes.” I cut him off. “Let’s just work on this.”

“We should talk.”

“Later,” I said.

“You promise?”

“Yeah.” I agreed even though I wasn’t sure what there was to talk about. I thought we were finally on the same page… but clearly, I was wrong.