Chapter 9 #2
We grab my stuff that was haphazardly shoved into boxes in the guest room.
Some of my things are broken, as if someone had tossed them in carelessly.
I swipe an angry tear from my eye and pick up another box and carry it out to the trailer.
I need to know where Lola is. I don’t want to talk to Derek, though.
I can hear him on the phone, and he’s angry.
I can’t tell what he’s saying, but I hear my name.
A sharp bark splits the air. Before I can react, a blur of dark gray and black fur comes barreling from the alley, dragging a leash. “Lola!” I crouch just in time for her to leap into my arms, tail wagging so hard her entire body wiggles.
I don’t even glance at her. I can’t. My focus sharpens on getting Lola into the truck, like that’s the only thing that matters, and it is.
Kristin says nothing. Not a word. She just walks over and stands next to Derek like it’s the most natural thing in the world, like she didn’t burn every bridge we ever built.
I feel her presence like a cold draft at my back, sharp and unwelcome. The girl who used to help me fix my hair before job interviews. The one who cried on my couch whenever she had her heart broken. The one who swore she’d never hurt me.
She doesn’t look at me. I don’t look at her.
Lola wiggles free, bolts past me, and launches herself right into the passenger seat of Remy’s truck and over into the back, as if she’s breaking free from Derek, too. Her tongue is hanging out as if she’s not had enough water.
Remy pauses mid-step, box in his arms, head tilting, looking surprised. “That’s your dog?”
“Yeah.” I smile proudly.
His brows draw together. “I was not expecting a cattle dog.”
“What were you expecting?” I ask, grinning with relief at having her back.
He shifts the box to his hip. “I don’t know. Maybe one of those little purse dogs you carry around in a tote.”
I laugh. “Nope. She’s the best dog I’ve ever had.”
He glances at the truck, where Lola is now sitting proudly in the back seat like she owns the place, tongue hanging out, Junie staring at her in awe and wonder.
“It’s Bluey,” she says in awe as she pets her side. Lola responds by kissing her cheek and turning back to me, looking relieved to see me.
“She already likes Junie,” I say, and from the steady thump of her tail against the seat, I know she agrees.
By the time the last box is in the trailer, my legs are tired, and Lola has claimed Junie’s blanket in the back seat. Junie has poured a water bottle into a cup for her, and she looks more relaxed.
Remy and I walk back in and do one last walk-through, Remy watching the truck as I make my way through room by room.
I realize nothing here matters to me. I have my journals, scrapbooks, photos.
A wooden chest that my mom had given me.
And I have Lola. That’s all I need. Everything else has been tainted by Kristin and Derek, and I don’t want any of it anymore.
The ride back is quiet at first. Junie conks out a few minutes in, her head tipped to the side, little hand still wrapped around Lola like she’s her security blanket.
I stare out at the snow-slick highway until Remy breaks the silence. “I never understood why you were with him.”
My breath fogs the window. “I think I just…wanted to be loved. In the beginning, he love-bombed me and said and did all the right things, but then he stopped. Then I realized I didn’t fit in that world. I never would.”
“What world are you talking about?”
“A lawyer’s wife,” I say as I watch out the window as we hit the highway to Wisteria Cove.
“Cocktail parties, firm dinners, smiling at the right moments, uncomfortable shoes and outfits curated just right so the wives wouldn’t look at me like I was trash like Derek loved to remind me I was.
” I glance at him. “I thought I could mold myself into that person, so he’d love me. Be the woman who fits.”
He keeps his eyes on the road, but I see the way his jaw ticks. “Sounds miserable.”
“It was.” I watch the blur of pine trees, my voice softer now. “And after being back home in Wisteria Cove, with you and Junie, I realized I don’t fit in that world at all. I don’t even want to.”
His gaze flicks to me, brief but intense. “What world do you want to fit into?”
I shrug, a little helpless. “Who knows? The problem is, I don’t know where I belong.”
He’s quiet for a few beats, the only sound the hum of the tires on snow. Then, almost too low to hear, “Maybe you’ve been looking in the wrong places.”
My heart stutters, but I don’t press him. Maybe he’s right.
The snow falls again, soft and steady, and for the first time in a long time, the search doesn’t feel so impossible.
The hum of the tires on the highway is steady enough to make my eyelids feel heavy, but I keep them open, watching the snowbanks blur past.
Remy’s got one hand on the wheel, the other resting on the console. His jaw’s tight, like it always is when Derek’s name comes up. I’d noticed it the first time how his shoulders went stiff, the way he measured his words.
“You and Derek seemed to know each other,” I say softly, watching his profile.
His mouth flattens. “I know him well enough to know I don’t like him.”
“How do you know him?” I ask curiously.
He glances at me, eyes cutting over for just a second before they’re back on the road. “When we lived in Boston, my ex-wife worked with him at his firm.”
My fingers twist in my lap. “Junie’s mom?” I ask as I glance into the back seat and make sure that she’s still out cold, clutching Lola.
“Her name is Sloane. She’s a criminal defense attorney at his firm. At least she was; I’m not sure if she’s still there.” He says, his mouth in a firm line.
“The name sounds familiar, but I’m not sure. He worked at a pretty big firm, and I can’t remember very many of the other attorneys’ names,” I admit.
He nods and watches the road, our twenty-five-minute drive turning into a longer one with the trailer and the snow.
“When was the last time she saw Junie?” I ask, then shake my head, thinking that maybe I’m crossing the line. “Wait, you don’t have to answer that. I’m sorry; that’s none of my business.”
“January. Of last year,” he adds.
“As in almost two years?” I ask, my eyes going wide. No freaking way. I couldn’t go that long without seeing my family if I lived less than an hour away from them.
He nods. “She likes to do this thing where she says she’s coming to get Junie and tells her they have this fun weekend planned, and then Junie gets all packed up and excited and waits, and she never shows up. She always has a lot of excuses.”
“And she works with Derek?” I ask, racking my brain as I try to remember her. Then it clicks. “Wait, does she go by Whitmore?”
He nods. “Yes. That’s her maiden name.”
“I’ve met her,” I tell him, not even believing this right now. “I have seen her at Derek’s work events. She and Derek don’t get along. He doesn’t have good things to say about her. She made partner before he did, and he didn’t like that.”
He shakes his head. “Sounds about right. Put it this way—she’s a shark. Does whatever it takes to get what she wants.”
“Wow,” I breathe and say before I can stop myself. “I can’t see the two of you together.”
He looks over at me and gives me a look. “Who do you see me with?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know, but not her. She’s…scary.”
“She’s a powerful woman,” he says and shrugs. “Good at what she does for a living.”
“But not a good wife or mom?” I ask.
He shrugs. “We were only together a few years before she left.”
“I didn’t realize you were a lawyer, too,” I say cautiously.
He looks over at me and gives me a funny look as if he thought I already knew. “I’m not a lawyer anymore.”
“I can’t see it, but I mean, I guess. You seem like you’re where you’re supposed to be at the tree farm.”
His jaw quirks. “Yep. Gave it all up to give Junie a better life in Wisteria Cove.”
“That’s insanely impressive, and I bet you have some amazing stories,” I say, looking at him, trying to picture him in a suit in a courtroom.
Did this truck just get hotter all the sudden?
“Wait…what kind of lawyer were you?” I ask, half teasing, half bracing myself for some wild answer.
“A criminal defense attorney.” He says it flatly, like it’s nothing. Like he didn’t just have a badass career that he gave up for his child.
“Actually crazy that I didn’t know this,” I mutter, shaking my head. “Do you…miss it?”
His jaw tightens, eyes fixed on the snowy road ahead. “No. I wasn’t happy.”
Something in his tone tugs at me. The way he says he wasn’t happy, like it’s a state he can’t seem to find no matter where he is. My chest aches. “Sometimes you don’t seem very happy here, either,” I say softly, before I can swallow it back.
He doesn’t glance at me. Just keeps his hands steady on the wheel. “I think there’s a lot we don’t know about each other,” he says finally, voice low.
And he’s right. There’s so much unsaid between us, it hums in the air like static. So much I want to know, and so much I want to tell him.
We’ve got a lot to learn. And I’m about to become his best student.