Chapter 14 #2
“Tell me what you want,” I manage.
“You,” she says instantly, breathless. “All of you.”
God help me.
I take my time. I want this to be good for her, something she will never forget. I have waited so long for this with her, and now that she is here, in my bed, I am determined not to rush.
I reach in my drawer for a new box of condoms I’ve had for a while, just in case. Not that I’ve needed them. I hurry and put one on, her watching my every move, hooded eyes looking like she can’t wait another minute for this.
She tips her hips and opens for me, legs easing wider, eyes dark steady on mine.
Her breath comes fast, chest lifting, then falling, a small sound catching in her throat when I brush along her and hold there.
I have to brace a hand beside her head just to keep from rushing.
She watches me with a hungry, certain look that strips me down to the truth.
I take my time, guiding us together, teasing along the place that makes her squirm and clutch at my shoulders.
The sight of her focused on the space between us nearly undoes me.
My jaw locks. I breathe through it and press forward a little, then pause, feeling the way she welcomes me, the way she relaxes and draws me closer.
Another breath. A little more. Slow, careful, deliberate, until there is no space left, and we are all the way there.
I rest my forehead to hers and try to steady the thud in my chest. She is heat and velvet around me, tight and perfect, and the trust in her eyes wrecks me.
I force myself to go slow because I want to feel every second of this, every small shift and soft sound.
I want her to know I am here for all of it, not just the blaze but the way it builds, the way it lasts.
“You okay?” I ask, searching her face.
She nods, her fingers digging into my shoulders. “Yes. Please don’t stop, Remy.”
I move, slowly and steadily, watching her expression with every thrust. Her mouth falls open, her lashes fluttering, and she is so beautiful it hurts to look at her.
“Ivy,” I rasp. “You feel so good. I never want this to end.”
She clenches around me and whimpers, and I bury my face against her neck to hold back a groan. I keep the pace deep and even, wanting to draw it out, to make her come again before I let myself go.
Her back arches, her nails drag down my back, and she calls out my name like she means it. That is all it takes. I give in, moving faster now, chasing my own release until it hits me hard, pulling a rough sound from my throat as I come hard.
I collapse on my side, pulling her with me, both of us breathing hard. She is flushed and glowing, her hair a mess, her lips curved in the softest smile.
“We really just did that,” she whispers.
“Yeah,” I say, pressing a kiss to her hair. “And I’m not done with you yet.”
Her quiet laugh vibrates against my chest, and for the first time in years, I feel completely, bone-deep whole.
I get up, dispose of the condom and turn on the shower, and she joins me; the spray warming us while I take my time kissing her, cleaning her up and washing her hair.
She leans into me and groans, and I hold her, memorizing every inch of her body, because she’s so beautiful and perfect.
Having her in my shower like this is intimacy I’ve never experienced with anyone else.
The water beats down hot, steam curling around us, fogging the glass. Ivy’s hair is wet, plastered to her shoulders, her skin flushed and glistening. She is standing under the spray, looking at me like she cannot believe we are here, like she is waiting for me to make the next move.
I cannot stop staring. “God, you’re beautiful,” I say before I can stop myself.
She smiles, a little shy, which only makes me want her more. My hand slides over her wet skin, down her side, lingering at the curve of her hip. She is soft and smooth, and I swear I could spend hours just touching her like this.
Her breath hitches when I trail my fingers lower. “Remy…”
“You have no idea,” I murmur, stepping closer until her back is against the tile. “I can’t stop looking at you.”
I kiss her slowly, letting the water run over both of us, and she melts against me. My hands roam, learning her body in the dim light, every dip and curve. Her breasts press against my chest, her thighs slick against mine, and I am shaking from holding back, from trying to make this last.
“You feel perfect,” I say against her mouth. “Every inch of you.”
She tilts her head back as my mouth trails down her throat, giving me more to taste. The water mixes with the sounds she makes, soft and desperate, and I know I will never get enough of this woman.
I touch her gently at first, wanting to draw it out, wanting to watch her come apart. Her hands brace on my hips, her head falling back against the tile as I work her higher and higher until she gasps, coming apart under my hand.
I hold her through it, kissing her softly, murmuring against her lips, “That’s it. So damn gorgeous.”
When she blinks up at me, her cheeks flushed, her lips parted, I almost lose it.
“I want you,” she whispers.
“Wait here.”
I slip out of the shower and grab another condom, silently thankful I bought the bigger box.
I step back into the shower and kiss her again, hard this time, lifting her easily so she wraps her legs around me.
The heat of her body against mine is magnetic, like gravity itself is bending to pull us together, and I can't tell where I end and she begins. When I push into her, I have to close my eyes and breathe through the rush of it.
I move slowly at first, every thrust deep and careful, because I want to feel every second of this, want her to know how much she means to me. The sound of water, her gasps, my ragged breathing, it all mixes until I think I might go crazy from how good it feels.
“You’re so beautiful,” I tell her again, because I cannot stop saying it.
When she comes again, clenching tight around me, I let go, groaning her name as I follow her over the edge.
I keep holding her after, kissing her forehead, her wet hair sticking to my cheek. She is smiling, soft and sleepy-looking, and it hits me hard—this is it. This is what I have been missing.
“Come on,” I whisper, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. “Let’s get you dry before I keep you in here all night.”
I turn off the water and grab a towel, wrapping it gently around her before she can reach for it herself. She lets me, her cheeks pink, her smile small and shy in a way that makes my chest ache.
“You don’t have to—” she starts.
“I want to,” I say quietly, meeting her eyes.
I pat her skin dry slowly, careful and tender, memorizing every curve and freckle. She leans into my touch, and I swear my heart beats harder at the trust in that small gesture. When I am done, I grab another towel for myself and then scoop her into my arms, carrying her down the hall.
She laughs softly. “I can walk, you know.”
“I know,” I say, smiling despite how serious I feel inside. “But I like carrying you.”
When we reach my room, I set her on the bed, the towel slipping a little as she sinks into the sheets. She looks up at me with those dark, soft eyes, and I feel like the ground tilts under me.
I get into bed beside her, pulling the blankets over both of us. The air is quiet, heavy with everything we just did. I brush her damp hair back from her face and press a kiss to her temple.
“We should talk,” I say finally, my voice low.
She nods, pulling the blanket closer around her. “I know.”
I stare at the ceiling for a long moment before I say it. “I told myself I didn’t need anyone, that it was easier to just focus on Junie and the farm.” I glance at her, my chest tight. “But then you came along. And after tonight…I don’t think I can go back to how things were.”
Her expression softens, and she reaches out, sliding her hand over mine. “You don’t have to go back. I don’t want to, either.”
Relief hits me so hard I almost laugh, except it comes out as a long, shaky breath.
“I’m scared,” I admit. “Scared I’ll screw this up. Scared Junie will get attached and then…”
“She’s already attached,” Ivy says gently. “And I’m attached, too. This isn’t one-sided.”
Those words land like a stone in my chest and then melt into something warm.
“I like you a lot,” I say, because it feels too small for what I feel but it’s the truest thing I can get out. “I have for a very long time. So much.”
She smiles, soft and sweet, and leans in to kiss me. “Good. Because I like you, too. And I think we deserve to be happy.”
Something eases in me then. I pull her closer until her head is on my chest, my hand splayed across her back.
“Go to sleep,” I whisper against her hair. “I’ve got you.”
Her breathing evens out after a few minutes, and I just lie there, staring at the ceiling, holding her. For the first time in a long time, I feel like everything might be okay. Like maybe I get to have this with her, Junie, a home that feels full.
I press one more kiss into her hair before I finally let myself drift, still holding her close.