Chapter 7
SACHI
When Dean informed me that I was staying the night, I was still too sex-drunk to argue. I’m lying here with his warm body wrapped around mine, and reality is setting in.
I just had mind-bending sex with Detective Malone.
Twice.
But it was more than that. We have a true connection unlike anything I’ve experienced before. The first-time awkwardness never happened. It was like we’d known each other for ages. He was charming and funny and made me feel like I hung the moon.
He even has Christmas decorations!
Seriously. What single man puts up a Christmas tree? None.
A pit forms in my stomach as an insidious tendril of doubt takes root in my mind.
What if he isn’t single? What if I’m the other woman?
Maybe that’s how a detective can afford such a gorgeous apartment. I really hate how much sense that makes. But surely the ladies would have mentioned if he was taken.
Not if they assumed you’d never betray them by sleeping with a cop.
Would they see it like that? I’m not sure. And what about Dean? He has no idea who my friends are. Would it bother him to know? Would he still be interested in me if he did?
Whoever said he was interested in anything more than a night?
Maybe that’s all this should be. A single spectacular memory of a night I’ll never forget.
A poisonous ache spreads from my chest and into my limbs, filling my veins with liquid lead. I weigh just as much as I did five minutes ago, but I feel heavier. Immovable.
I don’t want to go.
I’ve never felt a connection like this with a man. It wasn’t supposed to go like this tonight, but now that it has, how can I walk away?
How can you be okay putting your friends at risk by dating a cop?
My friends are my family.
What if something I say or do puts them in jeopardy of being thrown in jail?
I imagine telling my friends about Dean. Would the guys make their wives distance themselves from me if I was in a full-scale relationship with a cop? Probably. How could they not, considering who they are? And if that’s the case, am I willing to lose them?
My heart constricts painfully.
Dani is my very best friend in the world. No sex is worth losing her over.
This was supposed to be a bit of fun. One night of pretend. That’s all he was probably interested in anyway. I need to accept that it’s best for everyone if I leave.
A single tear trails from my eye onto Dean’s pillow.
I lie awake for two whole hours before I slip out of bed and collect my things. I wait to zip my dress and don’t bother putting on my shoes.
Dean doesn’t wake.
The security system isn’t armed.
The universe is telling me to make my escape, so that’s what I do. I should be relieved, yet I feel more desolate with every step I take.
I suppose it’s only fitting that the best night of my life is also the worst—two sides of the same coin. And I’ll take it because a night with Dean was worth the pain of losing him.