Chapter 11
SACHI
Dean storms out, slamming the door behind him.
The whole thing happens so fast, I can hardly wrap my head around it.
I knew he wouldn’t like knowing I was friends with Tommy and Sante.
This was something else entirely. It never occurred to me he might think I’d been sent by them to steal …
what? Information? I’m too dumbfounded to even speculate.
Whatever conclusion he jumped to made him furious. And between my shock and the guys pointing guns, I never had a chance to correct him. Not that he would have believed me.
The image of his eyes bright with betrayal will haunt me forever.
I burst into tears.
“What the fuck is happening here?” Sante demands.
My sobs intensify as they all stare at me.
“It’s my … fault,” I stutter between heaving breaths. “I should have said something.”
I’m not even sure why I’m crying except the letdown of adrenaline. Between that and the culmination of my tormented emotions needing an outlet, I feel like my heart is spilling out on the floor all around me.
I take one shaky breath, then another.
Dani has her arms wrapped around me protectively. “Everything’s okay, Sach. Promise. It’s going to be okay.”
I know I can count on her support, which makes me feel even worse for not telling her the truth about my night. Why do things always look so different in hindsight?
“I went home with Dean last night,” I say on a whisper.
“Dean?” Tommy blurts.
“Malone, dickhead. She slept with Malone,” Sante clarifies oh, so tactfully. “That’s why he’s so fucking upset. He thinks I sent her.”
“I didn’t tell him who I was, so he had no idea I was connected to you guys. I never expected to see him again, certainly not like this.” I shake my head in shame. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want you guys to be upset or cause problems for you, but it looks like I did anyway.”
“So that’s why you sounded so off on the phone.” Dani hugs me tighter. “Wait, you sounded kind of awful. She pulls back and studies my eyes. “He didn’t do anything he wasn’t supposed to, did he?”
My face crumples as I shake my head and dissolve into a new round of tears. “That’s … the problem,” I force past the knot in my throat. “He did everything right. It was amazing,” I rasp on a harsh exhale.
“Oh, honey.” Amelie joins in on our hug. “That’s not something to be upset about.”
“It is,” I explain to her. “How can I possibly be with a cop? I don’t want to put you guys at risk. And it was just one night—it shouldn’t have mattered.” The last words are no more than a wisp of air as my voice fails me.
“You really liked him,” Dani says with dawning realization.
“Yeah.”
Silence hangs in the air like a thick fog.
“Come on, Tommy,” Sante murmurs to his cousin. “Sounds like we have some things to discuss.” The two head back to his office, leaving us girls to talk in private.
I watch them leave, my worries intensifying. “I’ve made a mess of things, haven’t I?”
Amelie huffs. “No worse than they’ve done in the past. They can sort things with Malone, no problem. I’m more worried about you.”
“Definitely,” Dani chimes in.
“I’ll be fine. It was one stupid night, right? It shouldn’t mean anything.”
Amelie sweeps a lock of hair behind my ear and smiles softly.
“If Sante has taught me anything, it’s that following standards set by other people will only set you up for disappointment.
Whatever you two shared last night, it clearly meant a lot to both of you, regardless of what should or shouldn’t be. ”
“You really think so?”
“I do. I’ve never seen Malone so upset. I was completely stunned. Those guys do stuff to piss him off all the time, but it’s like water off a duck’s back. The accusation was pretty egregious, but his anger was personal. He did not like thinking you used him.”
My chin quivers despite her reassurance. “He hates me so much, now.”
Dani waves a hand. “Men are emotional like that. Once he gets the whole story, he’ll come around.”
I shake my head. “If he lets himself hear it, and even then, it doesn’t change the fact that we move in very different circles.”
“It might not be easy, but only time will tell. Don’t write him off yet.” Amelie’s lips pull into a thin, sorrowful smile. “I know you may not be in the mood, but we still have loads of cookies to decorate. It might make you feel better.” She peers at me questioningly.
She’s right. I’m not really in the mood, but what else am I going to do? Go back home and be depressed? Tempting, but I probably shouldn’t. I’ll get past this whole ordeal much faster if I keep busy. That’s why I came over in the first place, right?
I nod. “Yeah, let’s decorate some cookies.” It can’t make me feel any worse.
We spend two hours talking and designing cookies in the shape of ball ornaments, presents, and stockings.
My time with them truly is cathartic. They keep the topics of conversation light, and by the time I’m packing up to go home, my emotional storm has ebbed, leaving me calm but exhausted.
Hopefully, a good night’s rest will bring a more positive perspective in the morning.
“I’ll drive you home,” Sante offers, grabbing his keys from the entry table.
“You sure? I have no problem walking.”
“Yeah, I don’t think Malone would corner you, but he was pretty upset. I’d feel better making sure you got home safely.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
I can’t imagine Dean hurting me, but having Sante with me won’t hurt, so I don’t argue. Once we’re in the car, I realize Sante’s gesture had little to do with Dean’s anger and more to do with his desire to have a few words with me alone.
“I appreciate that you want to look out for us, but you don’t have to do that. We aren’t afraid of the cops.”
I nod, gnawing on the inside of my cheek. “I’m glad, but it worries me that if I dated someone like Dean, you guys wouldn’t want Amelie and Dani to be around me as much. They mean the world to me—all of you guys do—I don’t want to risk losing that.”
“One, you don’t even know if it would work out between you, and two, Malone isn’t gonna get shit on us.”
I flash a small smile because what he’s doing is sweet.
“Mellie tell you to talk to me?”
“Yeah, but despite what she may think, I don’t have to listen to her. I’m talking to you as myself. I don’t understand the draw to Officer Hotshot, but if that’s what does it for you, then have at it.”
“It’s Detective Hotshot,” I tease softly.
He cuts a glance my direction, his lips hooked upward in a wry smirk.
“Whatever.”
The first genuine grin of the day spreads across my lips and warms my heart.
However, while getting his permission is sweet, I don’t think it changes anything.
Dean thinks the absolute worst of me right now.
Even if I explain what happened, it won’t undo the harm, but I appreciate knowing Sante would support me if things somehow worked out.
We park outside my building, and Sante even walks me to my apartment door.
“Try not to let him upset you, Sach. Everything will work out for the best. You’ll see.” He taps my chin like a big brother might, and my heart swells.
Sante, Amelie, Tommy, and Dani are the family I never knew I needed.
And while I may be the fifth wheel, they only ever make me feel wanted.
I’m absolutely right in prioritizing my relationship with them over that of an unlikely romance.
I know it’s true. So why do I feel like I have a boa constrictor squeezing so tight around my rib cage that I can’t breathe?
“Thanks, Sante,” I manage to get past my tight throat. “I really appreciate you bringing me home and everything you’ve said.”
He shrugs. “Not that Malone would try anything crazy—he’s too straight-laced for that—but it never hurts to be safe.”
I give him a weak smile and enter the code to unlock my door. “See ya.”
He waves and turns back toward the elevator. I take a step inside my dark apartment when a hand clamps tightly over my mouth, and I’m yanked inside, the door closing behind me.
I suck in air through my nose to attempt a muffled scream only to have an all-too-familiar scent invade my lungs.
Dean.
He’s here.
I freeze.
In my shock, I have a second to take in the feel of his large frame behind me.
I’m pulled flush against his front, one of his strong arms wrapped around my torso to keep me in place.
I should be terrified, and for a moment, I was.
But now that I know who’s behind me, an odd sense of relief washes over me until Dean finally speaks, and his words chill me to the bone.
“Wouldn’t try anything crazy, huh? Apparently, Sante doesn’t know me as well as he thinks he does.”