18. Lea
Chapter eighteen
Lea
S itting with Kai as he admits things I’d have never guessed about him has a strange sensation of gratitude settling in my gut.
The fact that he feels comfortable enough with me to allow me to see this side of him is something I won’t take for granted.
My eyes feel misty, and my lip wobbles as I try to hold myself together.
This isn’t about me.
I wouldn’t dare do anything to make this moment about me .
“Do you have any idea how long it’ll be before she’s out? Maybe I can help you get things at her trailer settled so she’s ready to come home when she’s better?”
He gives me a tight smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “I don’t know how long it’ll be, but I’d appreciate that,” he says, his voice impossibly small when he speaks those last words.
“Whatever you need, just tell me, okay?”
He nods, wrapping his arms around my waist and hoisting me into his lap. I melt into him, trailing my hands up his chest and around his neck.
“I’m scared,” he whispers. His chin is trembling, and I feel his body shaking around me.
I tuck myself firmly against him, trying to ground his body with my own.
“She’s getting the help she needs, and that’s because of you , Kai.”
“I just”— he shakes his head—“I don’t want to end up like her, Lea,” he says, his voice breaking on a near-sob as he tucks his face into the side of my neck. The wetness from his tears is slick on my throat, and it’s like a punch to the gut to see this strong, capable, confident man so upset.
“You won’t, Kai,” I tell him, projecting as much confidence as I can muster into my voice as I stroke his short, coarse hair.
“You can’t know that, Lea,” he breathes. “I worry every damn day that I’ll forget a dose of my meds or that I won’t be able to afford them and I’ll slowly start to lose my mind.”
“I hear you,” I whisper. “I do, but let’s just take it one day at a time, okay?”
He nods, unspeaking, as we sit here in silence until the sun has set and the living room of our tiny apartment is cloaked in darkness.