FORTY-TWO | Find Me | Mitt
FORTY-TWO
Find Me
Mitt
S omething had snapped inside of me. Broken off, shattered, and sent me into a bloody fucking spiral. I was on edge, ready to take the damn Rolls-Royce Tinsley bought and drive it into the side of a building. She left the car because she wanted nothing to do with me.
Good. She was back to hating me, right where I needed her to be. But I didn’t want her to loathe me. I wanted her to devote herself to me.
The pain of losing her was unbearable, and it wouldn’t go away no matter what I did. I couldn’t forget Tinsley. Her breathtaking smile, the way she smelled after a shower or the taste of her after a kiss. I drank to wash her away, fucked my hand to forget her curvaceous body and used extra mouth rinse to erase the sweetness of her. Nothing worked.
My angel was inside of me forever, locked away after she had stolen the key and left me alone, but I had asked for this. I had pushed her far past her breaking point to keep her safe. I had set my love for her free, yet here I was chained to her for the rest of eternity.
I had given the affection I had for her days to go away, but it wouldn’t leave. The heartbreak I had dealt should set us both free, but I mourned the loss of her, and I wanted her back. I needed her in my arms so much, everywhere hurt. A constant ache seized me like something bad I required to perish from my body, but the damn devotion wouldn’t fuck off. I wanted a cure, and the only way to heal was Tinsley.
I was in unimaginable pain without my wife, and the hurt had stopped me from filing the divorce papers. I couldn’t bring myself to do it and hand the paperwork over to my lawyer. Instead, the damn papers sat at my desk in front of me, and I stared blankly at them, expecting the words written on those pages to amount to something. I needed our upcoming divorce to feel real, but nothing did. I was a hollow man in a shell without my wife, lost after I replayed in my mind how much I had hurt her.
She had broken down with tears streaming down her beautiful face, and my hands ached to reach out and wipe the wetness away. I wanted to take back everything I had lied about that awful day, especially the way I had treated her about a possible pregnancy. The baby could grow inside her beautiful belly right now, but she’d keep me away. I knew Tinsley meant every damn word she’d said, and her reaction wreaked havoc on my tainted soul.
“I don’t know what to do...” I whispered out loud, expecting someone to answer.
Tinsley would’ve answered me. She’d have touched my face even though I never deserved it and told me what to do, but I had pushed her away. I threw away the one person who ever truly gave a shit about me, and I feared it was too late to turn back time. To beg her for forgiveness down on my fucking knees until she could see the truth shine from my icy heart. Until she could see how much I wanted her, just how much I needed her and the lengths I’d go to only for her.
Because I loved Tinsley.
Goddamn it, Mitt. What the fuck are you doing?
I had really gone and screwed things up. Hadn’t I?
Well, shit.
I exhaled a long, deep sigh and closed my eyes. My fingertips rubbed against my forehead while my head throbbed in pain, and I wanted to make all this suffering go away because I couldn’t live the rest of my life this way. Caught up on a damn woman who had gotten under my skin. Crawled underneath all my fucked-up layers and clung to me like her life depended on me.
Without my wife, I was lost.
Wait...
I snapped my eyes open and reached down into my pocket. My fingers brushed over the metal and the arrow moved slowly. North, East, South and West reflected at me as I flipped it over and reminisced about the fond memory. My eyes narrowed as I read something etched into the back that I didn’t know was there until this moment.
Always find your way back to me.
Fuck. Tinsley. My angel was here with me, and she had never left my side. She told me exactly what to do and no one would stop me. Not even my father.