Chapter 4 #2
I smile despite myself. "Sadie's the baby. Twenty-five. She's got this eternal optimist thing going that used to drive me crazy when we were kids."
"Used to?"
"Now I appreciate it. She sees the good in everyone. That’s what our dad taught us. But she really took it to heart." I hand her another ornament. "It’s how she got Ledger to warm up to her."
"And Ledger?"
"Good guy. Makes her happy, which is all that matters to me. He brews beer, and knows these mountains like the back of his hand. They met when she was trying to cite him for illegal foraging."
"That's really funny. And kinda romantic.”
"That's Sadie. Everything in her life has a good story behind it." I pause, remembering. "I know she wants this year to be special.” I look around the loft, at the half-decorated tree, the carefully chosen ornaments. “So why not help make sure it is, in every way I can.”
Nia's quiet for a moment. "You're a really good brother, Kade."
"I try to be."
"No, I mean it." She sets down the ornament she's holding, turning to face me fully. "The way you talk about your family, how much you care about making this memorable for them—it's really touching."
There's something in her voice that makes my heart swell.
Her eyes well up. "Damn it. I wasn't going to cry today."
"Hey." I'm pulling her against my chest, before I can think better of it. "It's okay."
She buries her face in my shirt, and I feel the hot dampness of tears. My arms hold her automatically, one hand stroking her hair.
"All of this just reminds me so much of my dad," she says, voice muffled. "We'd spend weeks decorating. He'd put on Bing Crosby and dance me around the living room. I was twelve and thought it was so embarrassing, but now I'd give anything to dance with him one more time."
"I'm sorry." The words feel inadequate. "I'm so sorry you lost him."
"The worst part is that the world just...keeps going. Like it doesn't matter that he's gone. But it matters to me. It matters so much."
I hold her tighter. ”Of course it matters.”
We stay like that, her crying quietly while I try to offer whatever comfort I can. It's intimate in such a special way…that she trusts me with her grief.
When she finally pulls back, her eyes are red. "Sorry. I'm a mess."
"You're a really cute mess." I wipe a stray tear from her cheek with my thumb. "And you're human. You're allowed to miss him."
She gives me a watery smile. "Having you here helps though. Talking about him. Doing what I love to make him proud."
The way she's looking at me makes me want things I shouldn't want. A future beyond this week. Mornings waking up next to her. Years of Christmases together.
I step back before I can do something stupid. "Let’s finish this tree."
"Yes, let’s." But she's still watching me with those expressive eyes.
After that, the earlier tension is replaced by something deeper. Something more hazardous.
At one point, I happen to glance up…and see them.
Sprigs of mistletoe.
Everywhere.
It’s hanging from the loft railing. Tucked into the doorframe. A third is suspended from the exposed beam near the reading nook.
"Nia."
"Hmm?" She's the picture of innocence, adjusting an ornament.
"When did you hang all this mistletoe?"
"Oh, you know. Earlier. While you were moving boxes…or taking your allotted bathroom breaks.” She glances at me. "Why? Problem?"
"Nope," I say dryly.
"Can't have Christmas decorations without mistletoe." She grins. "It's tradition."
For the remainder of the day, I carefully avoid walking under any of them. Giving each sprig a wide berth like it might explode.
"You're scared of a little plant," she teases.
"I'm not scared."
"Then why are you doing that weird sideways walk every time you pass one?"
Because I know exactly what will happen if I end up under mistletoe with you. "Strategic navigation."
She laughs, and the sound slides around me like warm hands. "You're such a cop. Everything's a strategy."
"Keeps me alive."
"We're decorating for Christmas, Kade. The stakes are pretty low."
If only she knew how high the stakes actually feel right now.
We finish the tree as the afternoon light starts to fade. Outside, clouds are building—thick and gray, promising snow.
"I love it," Nia says softly, stepping back to admire our work. The silver and white ornaments catch the dimming light, elegant and understated. "And I just know your family's going to love it, too."
I smile. “Couldn't have done it without you.”
"That's true. You'd probably have color-coded the ornaments by size and called it done."
"Hey. Organization is important."
"So is spontaneity." She starts gathering her things. "I should probably head out. Looks like weather's coming."
"Yeah. Good idea." We head to the mud room off the front door.
As we reach for our coats, I look up. Her gaze follows mine to the mistletoe hanging directly above us.
Her eyes narrow with challenge. "Well. Would you look at that."
"Nia—"
"Rules are rules." She steps closer, tilting her chin up. "Wouldn't want to disrespect Christmas tradition."
Every reason I shouldn't do this runs through my head in rapid succession. The age gap. The power dynamic.
The fact that I know I'll want more than one kiss.
"You should go," I say, but I don’t move.
"Probably." She looks up at me through those thick lashes. "Are you going to make me, Officer?"
And that’s it. Something inside me rebels.
I pull her against me hard, one hand fisting in her hair as I slam my mouth down on hers. She gasps, and I take advantage, sweeping my tongue past her lips to taste her properly.
But she responds like she's been waiting for this—hands diving into my hair, body pressing closer, matching my intensity with her own. The kiss is hot and desperate and nothing like the sweet, gentle one I should be giving her. Or the kind of kiss I expected in return.
I walk her backward until she hits the wall, my thigh pushing between her legs. She whimpers into my mouth, and the sound destroys what's left of my control.
My hands slide under her sweater, finding warm skin. She arches into my touch, her nails scraping my scalp. I kiss down her jaw, her throat, sucking the spot where her pulse throbs.
"Kade," she breathes, and hearing my name in that wrecked voice nearly breaks me.
Her leg hooks around my hip, and I grind my raging cock against her, both of us panting. I want to strip her bare right here, learn every wild sound she makes, and mark every inch of her skin.
That thought—the sheer intensity of what I want to do to her—brings me crashing back to reality.
I break away, breathing hard. "You need to go. Right now."
"Kade—"
"Now, Nia." My voice comes out harsher than I intend. "Before I do something we'll both regret."
She stares at me, lips swollen, cheeks flushed, looking thoroughly kissed. "What if I don't want to go?"
I step back, putting the necessary distance between us. Every instinct is pleading with me to pull her back, but I force my hands to stay at my sides. "This was a mistake."
Something flashes in her eyes—hurt, maybe, or anger. "A mistake?"
“This can't happen,” I say. “It’s not right.”
"I'm an adult who can make my own choices."
"I know that." God, does she think I don't know that? "But I'm not the right choice, Nia."
She grabs her coat, her movements sharp. "You don't get to decide what's right for me."
"Someone has to." It slips out, and I immediately regret it.
"Fuck you, Deputy Giles." She throws on her coat, then stalks over to the front door and yanks it open, cold air rushing in. "I'm going to finish this job for your family and for the money. But that’s it.”
The door slams behind her, and I'm left standing there like an idiot, the taste of her still on my lips.
I wait until I see her taillights disappear down the mountain road. Then I turn and punch the wall.
Not hard enough to damage anything—just enough to feel it.
"Real good, Giles," I mutter.
She still sends a text when she makes it home. But it’s barely two words.
I stare at the message, then at the cabin around me. Garland everywhere. Lights twinkling. Two beautiful trees that Nia's brought to life with her magic and mayhem…and warmth.
The place looks like a Christmas volcano erupted.
And all I can think about is how empty it feels without her.