Chapter Twenty-Two
Not only was the meal filling, but Sterling enjoyed the conversation in his great-aunt’s home.
There were a few relatives from his mother’s family present—men he had played with when they had all been boys.
They laughed and teased and made him long for the days when his family had still lived at Wyndview Farm.
Further, he wasn’t the Earl of Wyndham here. He was Sterling.
Memories that he had forgotten reemerged and a sense of nostalgia filled his being.
If only his father’s older brothers had not died without heirs, Sterling might have spent his life here. Except, he would not have met Caroline. There would have been no need for an estate manager because that had been his father’s position and would have been Sterling’s.
His life would have been extraordinarily different.
Except, it wasn’t and it did no good to wonder who he would have been if his father hadn’t inherited the earldom.
The cousins he used to play with when they were children had married and now had children of their own who played the same games.
An ache of longing for the same—a wife to love and children—grew in his chest as the night grew long. He wanted what his cousins had but as it had not found him yet, it might never.
He glanced over at Caroline. She had managed to find love and had a daughter, but she had also lost him and was now a widow. Had she wanted to marry again or was she content with her life at Wyndview Farm?
Sterling was happy for those who found love and shared a joyful family. For him, it would likely be an amicable marriage to produce an heir and a spare.
Except, he did have four younger brothers. His father had been the third son and unexpectedly inherited, so his brothers or one of their sons, when they managed to marry and have them, could replace Sterling one day.
Should he force himself to fulfill his duty and stay unhappy?
More importantly, why hadn’t the option ever occurred to him before?
No, he was not going to settle. If he were not as lucky as his cousins, then he would simply not wed but the name would continue.
This holiday was turning out to be enlightening with discovering perspective to his situation and returning memories once lost.
And he was also able to spend this visit with Caroline, who seemed to enjoy his family and was certainly familiar with them. All in all, he was very glad his mother had forced him to come to Stellenbosch, not that he would ever tell her because she would meddle even more until he sailed away.
However, he faced one difficulty—sharing a cottage with the woman he had desired since he arrived at Wyndview Farm, with only a blanket to separate them.
With temptation so close, it was unlikely he would get any sleep at all.
*
Caroline slowly strolled back to the cottage following dinner and visiting with Wyndham’s family. She still couldn’t believe that they would be sharing the same cottage. A one room cottage. Certainly, there had to be one relative with space for him, shouldn’t there be?
Except, the extended family she met tonight had large families so likely every bed in their houses was taken.
This still wasn’t right. She was overcome with a nervousness that she had not experienced since the first time she spent the evening with her husband and that had been the night after they wed.
Of course, her nerves were for different reasons as she had known that she would become a wife in truth and was not certain what to expect.
Tonight, she would just sleep in her own bed while a man she desired to fulfill her growing needs was on the other side of the room.
Thank goodness there were two beds because she wasn’t certain what she would have done had there been only one.
She nearly shivered at the possibility then reminded herself that she was a respectable widow and that Wyndham was her father’s employer.
She was a companion to his mother, among other things at Wyndham Farm.
Despite how cordial and friendly some of their conversations had been, there would be nothing more between her and Wyndham.
Wyndham pushed open the door of the cottage then lit a lamp. Caroline was grateful to find that someone had already been there and a rope had been tied down the center of the room from which blankets hung. It would save them from having to figure out how to do it themselves.
She then realized that the bed she usually chose was the one closest to the door. If Wyndham needed to leave for any purpose, he would have to cross over to her side, which she did not like.
“Do you mind if we switch sides?” she asked.
He arched a blond brow, humor in his blue eyes. “Not at all, Mrs. Sutcliffe.”
“Thank you.” She picked up her valise then slipped between the slight gap where two blankets met.
Lord Wyndham followed her, and Caroline was startled when he joined her.
“I am only retrieving my bag.”
“Oh, yes, of course,” she nearly stammered.
Why was she being such a ninny?
Despite what anyone would believe, she would stay on her side of the room and Wyndham on his, well, as soon as he returned to it and they would not see each other again until morning after they were once again fully dressed.
“Good night, Mrs. Sutcliffe,” Wyndham said as he crossed back to his side of the cottage.
It was then that she opened her valise and drew out her nightrail. Caroline glanced back at the blanket shielding her from him.
Did she dare slip out of her dress and into her nightrail? To do so would leave her exposed. Or did she sleep in her shift?
What if the blanket fell away?
She could not take such a risk and put the nightrail away. She would sleep in her dress. It would not be so uncomfortable. Then tomorrow, after he had left the cottage, she would change into a fresh dress.
Yes, that is what she would do.
“How often do you visit Stellenbosch?” his voice came from the other side of the blankets.
“Once a year. Sometimes twice,” she answered. “Your mother enjoys visiting her family.”
“And this is where you stay each time?”
“Yes.”
“What of my mother. Where does she sleep?”
He likely assumed that his mother had better accommodations. “We share this cottage,” she answered as she removed her boots.
“What of her maid and whatnot?”
“Your mother can survive without a maid, and she had me.” Caroline rolled down her stockings and draped them across the end of the bed.
“Yes, I suppose,” he murmured.
She then pulled the coverlet back on the bed and glanced at the blankets one more time to make certain they were secure then climbed under the covers and turned on her side, pillow bunched beneath her head and stared at the blanket that separated her from the Earl of Wyndham.
She had heard rustling on the other side and wondered if he had not been concerned that she was present and had disrobed to put on a nightshirt.
Her husband had never worn one but surely Wyndham did, especially in a situation such as this.
Except, he had not known the sleeping arrangements until they arrived.
What if he had nothing to wear and nothing was covering his chest any longer?
Heat swept up her body and Caroline silently lectured herself not to think of Wyndham’s chest or any other part of his anatomy.
“May I ask something of you?”
“Yes,” she answered slowly.
Just because she was having impure thoughts about Wyndham did not mean he thought of her as anything more than his mother’s companion to be forgotten once he was gone.
“Please call me Sterling.”
Her face heated with the very idea. It was too personal. “I could not.”
“I am rarely called by my name, tonight being an exception, and we are sharing a cottage, sleeping in the same room, so I believe formality is no longer necessary.”
But it was. Being on a first name basis was too personal…intimate. Yet, she couldn’t make herself voice the objections.
“I shall call you Caroline and you will call me Sterling.”
She was certain she heard a smile in his tone.
“It would be nice to hear my name for change instead of my title such as when we were at dinner tonight.”
“Your mother addresses you by your given name,” she reminded him.
“That is different. She is my mother, and as you and I seem to be becoming friends, in addition to these sleeping arrangements, you should call me Sterling and I shall call you Caroline.”
Caroline was not at all comfortable doing so but … “If you insist…Sterling.”
“I do, Caroline.”
Warmth swept through her and Caroline realized that she was in trouble. Not only did she want Wyndham, but she was beginning to like him more than she should. There was no future and thus, she must limit her emotions to a temporary friendship, if that, because she was still far beneath him.
Oh, she should not have thought about being beneath him because it conjured other images. This was going to be a very long night.