Chapter Thirty
The closer they came to Wyndview Farm, the more Sterling was reminded of his duties.
He had been gone from England for nearly a year, but he was also confident that his brother had Trade Wynd well in hand.
He had been trained to supervise all operations along the docks, ships, and cargo while Sterling had seen to those duties required by an earl, so therefore, there should be no concerns.
Was he even really needed in England?
When he had arrived here eight days ago, he had been determined to meet with his estate manager, have only limited contact with his mother, and then be gone.
That was also before he had truly met Caroline, listened to his mother’s explanation of what had happened, and decided that he wanted to take part in the grape harvest.
He’d been assailed by memories from this youth, when his brothers had played here, and when he had visited his cousins and Sterling realized that he had been his happiest at Wyndview Farm and he might just be happy again.
He couldn’t help but compare the difference of how his life had been before his father inherited the title and after. His life would have been much different if it had never happened and maybe there would have been more days like yesterday instead of what he faced upon his return.
He also couldn’t help but compare who his father had been and what he had become. Sterling did not like that he’d also become more like the man who had been forced to return to England.
He did not want to be so unyielding, unforgiving, and strict. It was unfair to him and those around him and there was no reason why he could not return to England a better man than when he had left and a happier man.
It would be difficult to leave Wyndview Farm, especially Caroline, but he could not remain here for good. He had responsibilities that could not be ignored. He just wished that he could take Caroline with him.
The thought gave him pause. Was she becoming more to him than simply a friend and temporary lover?
Sterling followed Caroline into his mother’s sitting room, somewhat unsettled at his recent revelation but not displeased either. However, it was certainly something that he would need to give deep consideration to before he made any decision as to his future and hers.
“We saw penguins, Mama!” Livia chirped.
“Penguins?” Caroline asked before she sent a searching glance to his mother.
“Yes, dear. Yesterday was quite lovely and when Livia told me that she had not yet seen them, well, of course we needed to picnic at Boulder Beach.”
“Did you enjoy yourself, darling?” Caroline smoothed her daughter’s dark hair then squatted down to look her in the eyes. “I missed you.”
“They were funny.” Livia giggled, ignoring the last part of what Caroline had said. “They walk like this.” Livia put the heels of her feet together and hands down at her side and mimicked the small steps and waddle of a penguin.
“That is a very good impression,” Caroline praised her daughter.
Sterling’s heart warmed watching Caroline.
It did make him long for children but only under the right circumstances.
One of those being that he would not wed unless he found love.
He would not have an empty marriage of simple compatibility and titles or rank for the purpose of uniting families and begetting heirs.
He would not settle and bring children into a marriage that might turn bitter.
He assumed that Livia had been born of love, which ignited some jealousy that someone had won Caroline’s heart. Yet, it should not matter. They were forming a friendship and they were lovers.
Excellent lovers together. Never had he experienced such passion with a woman.
No lover in his past had ever been so responsive to his touch.
Nor had they been so free to enjoy their own pleasure, which only heightened his.
There had been no hesitation, nor practiced skills of a mistress.
Instead, theirs had been a joining of all-consuming passion and pleasure, which he hoped to experience again.
He needed to be with her again, which was why he would put his mind to opportunities for him to be alone with Caroline.
“Did you enjoy your holiday?” his mother asked.
Sterling blinked and hoped that he had not missed any other questions or comments while his mind had been lost in what he planned to do with Caroline.
“Yes, I did.”
“Were you able to spend time with your distant relatives?”
“Yes. We even attended the nuptials for Kaya and Malik.”
It had been his mother’s intention to see that Malik received permission from Kaya’s father so she might as well know that the two had also wed.
“Already?” she complained. “I wish I would not have missed it.”
He was rather glad she had because had his mother been with them, then she would have shared the cottage with Caroline. Not him.
“Is there any word on when the grapes will be ready to be harvested?” Sterling asked.
“It will be at least a few days,” his mother answered. “Hallaway said it will not be today or tomorrow. Beyond that he does not know.”
Sterling gave a nod of acceptance. He may just go ask the man himself or he may follow along as he tested grapes again to see how much more he could learn.
“As you will not be able to meet with him today or tomorrow, why don’t you visit the penguins?”
He frowned at his mother. “Why would I want to visit the penguins?”
“You delighted in them when you were a child, and the seals, if I recall correctly. I also know that it has been some time since Caroline has been to Boulder Beach. You should also take a picnic and enjoy the day.”
Sterling frowned. Why did she want him gone when he had just returned after being away for three days? Was she hiding something from him or would she rather not have him around even though she claimed that she hoped he would remain longer?
“I have already been gone for three days, Lady Wyndham,” Caroline said. “I cannot take another day from my duties. I need to be available if my father needs my assistance as I need to be available to you as your companion.”
“Or housekeeper,” Sterling added. “I do not believe your father needs a secretary at the moment.”
He really needed to see that she began receiving wages for at least one of the duties she performed.
“Nonsense, Caroline,” his mother dismissed.
“We have everything well in hand. Those menus have been planned as you required. The maids see to the upkeep of the house, and the laundress has not shirked her duty in seeing that linens and clothing were cleaned. Your father does not need you and Livia spends all day at her lessons. Go! Take a picnic and enjoy. Soon enough the harvest will be upon us and there will be no time for rest.”
If it were just him and Caroline, Sterling would not mind going to Boulder Beach. Except the penguins were not what interested him. But with his mother more concerned with having him out from underfoot, he was reluctant to leave.
His eyes shifted to Caroline. Maybe it had nothing to do with him at all other than he served a purpose. Maybe she wanted her companion to enjoy more leisure and the privileges usually afforded the granddaughter of a baron.
Was his mother reminding Caroline that she was not a mere servant? She had tried to play matchmaker at the ball and no doubt as soon as the harvest was complete and Sterling had sailed for Madeira; his mother would begin having teas and inviting eligible bachelors to spend time with Caroline.
His mother wanted her to marry!
This was all designed so that Caroline could remember what it was like to be free of responsibility as she had been before she married and became a mother and his mother was using him for that purpose.
No doubt his mother anticipated that Caroline would begin to long for the life she once had and would be more willing to enjoy tea with bachelors and possibly consider a different future.
She should have someone who loved and cared about her, especially after he was gone. But that did not mean he needed to be happy about it.
“Well, if you will excuse me, I think I will go find Hallaway in the fields to see what I can learn.”
“What about Boulder Beach?” his mother asked.
Sterling turned to Caroline. “Would you be available to go to the beach to picnic and view penguins tomorrow?”
Caroline glanced at his mother with suspicion in her eyes. Was she also wondering what his mother was up to?
“Oh, you must go, Mama. You will have so much fun,” Livia insisted.
Caroline laughed and patted her head again. “Very well, darling, I will visit the penguins while you are at your studies.”
“Until tomorrow, Mrs. Sutcliffe.” He then turned on his heel and marched out of the parlor.
His mother may think they were going to picnic and watch the penguins and seals, which they likely would, but Sterling had no intention of letting a chance to be alone with Caroline to enjoy some of what they did in Stellenbosch slip away.
*
Now that Sterling was gone, Caroline intended to have a necessary discussion with his mother.
“Go along, Livia. Remind Cook that Lord Wyndham has returned and will be dining with his mother this evening. Remain there until I come for you.”
“Yes, Mama,” her daughter answered before skipping from the sitting room.
“How did you enjoy Stellenbosch, Caroline. And please, tell me, that my son relaxed some of his uncompromising demeanor and enjoyed himself.”
“Did you send word ahead to expect us? Mrs. Cloate did not seem at all surprised when we arrived.”
Lady Wyndham busied her hands by smoothing her gown. “I may have written that Kaya and Malik wished to visit on the matter of their courtship and that I would facilitate their wishes.”
It was not an answer. At least, not fully. “Did Mrs. Cloate know when we were going to arrive?”
Lady Wyndham’s cheeks turned pink. “Yes. I wrote to her ahead of time and mentioned that I hoped that you would accompany the couple.”
She had been manipulated. She could not understand why, when all Lady Wyndham had to do was ask and allow her a little time to prepare for the trip.
“When?” Caroline demanded.
“The day of the ball.”
She had not even been aware that a servant had been gone long enough to deliver a message and return.
“Did you also inform her that your son would be accompanying us?”
Her cheeks grew darker, but she did not answer.
Except…Oh, this was confusing. “Why would you say that he would go to Stellenbosch when you insisted that the two of you visit Cape Agulhas?”
“Oh, I knew the captain of the ship would not consent to sailing there,” Lady Wyndham dismissed with a wave of her hand. “I had already asked. He promised not to tell my son, though.”
When had she done that? Lady Wyndham rarely left the house.
Caroline frowned. Except there were times when she was not about but Caroline had always assumed she was resting. Now she questioned how often Lady Wyndham did leave and wondered where she went.
“As I knew that my son would never agree to travel there by wagon or horse and be gone for a fortnight, I provided an option that was more reasonable after he had denied my first two requests, I assumed that he would be more inclined to accept the third.”
“Why were you so certain that I would go as well? I could have insisted on remaining here since a chaperone was not truly needed for a lord and his two servants, as you know?”
“I really did not insist, if you recall. I knew that you would never allow Sterling to go on his own because of what he might learn.”
And the reason why she had tried to remain back at Wyndview Farm and keep Wyndham here too. There were those in Stellenbosch who had met her father and mother, when she had been alive, and were aware of the difficulties of late. “You wrote and asked them to keep our secrets?”
“That is true, but I could not allow you to know they had warning, or Sterling for that matter.”
“Why?” she asked with exacerbation.
“Because then he would have never gone.”
“You could have told me.”
“Then you would not have gone.”
“Why did either one of us have to leave?” she nearly yelled.
Lady Wyndham had been acting strangely and treated Caroline differently ever since her son had arrived and she could not figure out why. She would ask Lady Wyndham, but she was fairly certain that she would not provide a completely honest answer.
“You need to leave the estate more often and my son needed to be reminded of his heritage and what Wyndview Farm represents to our family. It is not simply another business owned by Wynd Trade. My ancestors are from here and this land came to the family through the Dutch who lived here long before the English. This land came to us through marriage and it is in his blood.”
Caroline understood such motivation. She was not happy but understood. However, she had one more question.
“If you had explained your purpose then why wasn’t Lord Wyndham provided with a separate accommodation?”
“I have no idea to what you refer,” she murmured and smoothed her skirts again.
Yes, she did!
Caroline pulled back in horror, embarrassment, and humiliation.
Had she wanted her…well, as a widow she could not be ruined.
Did she believe that if her son enjoyed some bed sport that he might be more agreeable?
Had she made certain that Caroline accompanied him, shared a cottage so that Wyndham might…
She had no idea that Lady Wyndham would think that she would easily succumb to lust and seduction. Was it because her father was only an estate manager and since they were nearly beneath notice that it was acceptable without repercussions?
“Calm yourself, Caroline!” Lady Wyndham ordered.
“It is not so easy to do, Lady Wyndham.”
“I know what you have just assumed and conjured all kinds of ideas in your mind as to why I would put you in such a position. That was not my intention.”
“Then what was?” she demanded.
“Nothing that would have brought harm to you, of that you have my assurance.”
Yet it had. She was reminded of what it was like not to sleep alone and how comforting it was to have a warm chest at her back and a heavy arm on her waist, and gentle breath on her neck. It had made her ache with longing for what she would never have again.
And it angered her that Lady Wyndham would put her in such a position. Even if she had remained in her own bed and Sterling in his, her reputation was still at risk, which proved how little she meant to the Wynd family.
“If that is the case, next time you believe your son might need something, please do not include me in your plans.” With that rebuke, Caroline turned and marched from the room before her tears were noted by Lady Wyndham.
She rushed to her home and locked herself inside her chamber where she cried for what she would never have again or wouldn’t once Sterling was gone.