Chapter Forty-Six
Sterling packed his belongings and had them delivered to the entry then asked that someone take him to the ship.
He had not slept last night but stood at his window and at times watched Caroline’s window.
Her lights burned until the early morning hours before they were extinguished.
Did guilt keep her awake or fear?
He wanted to believe that she loved him, but she had not been honest and deceived him. How could he trust anything that she said?
Had it been something personal or private, he likely would not have minded. But the secrets she held affected the entirety of Wyndview Farm. In fact, every employee, including his mother, kept the truth from him—their loyalty to Caroline.
That he could not forgive, nor could he trust her, no matter how much he had fallen in love with her.
It had to be love, otherwise his heart would not ache with such intensity.
“You are leaving?” his mother asked as she came down the stairs.
“I have the information I came for and it is time.”
“What of Caroline?”
“What of her?”
“I had thought…”
“It matters not.”
“She did not lie to you,” his mother insisted, just as Caroline had.
“She deceived me, which is the same.”
“It is not. She had her reasons.”
“She wanted to protect her father.”
“And her daughter,” his mother reminded. “Caroline would do anything for her daughter.”
“Even lie to me.”
“Any mother would deceive to protect their child to see that they were safe and secure.”
Sterling arched an eyebrow and stared at his mother.
“I will admit that given Avery was only eleven that I should have returned, and it is a decision I will always regret. But he had four older brothers and your father. He was not left alone in the world to fend for himself.”
“Neither is Livia.”
“Her father was dead and all she has is her mother. She had not known her uncle until he arrived here and her grandfather only cared about grapes and has little to do with her. Livia’s survival, having a home and food and her happiness rested on Caroline’s shoulders alone. She would do anything to protect her.”
“No matter who she angered or betrayed?”
“Yes.”
“That is the answer I needed to hear.” He picked up his valise and started for the door.
“What a person does out of love carries different consequences. She did not deceive you out of malice but to protect her family.”
He knew that, but she should have trusted him with the truth. Maybe not at first, but later, after they had become close. Yet she hadn’t, and he doubted that she had ever cared.
“She was dishonest. That is all I need to know.” Sterling yanked open the front door. He could not stand there and argue with his mother any longer. His decision was made because Caroline had taken his heart and stomped on it just as she had the grapes. Except he bled red, not wine.
“If you walk out that door and sail away, you are no better than your father—stubborn with no room for forgiveness. Demanding and unyielding, no room for understanding. Expecting everyone to rise to an impossible standard that you have set then sending them away when they fail or leave them behind.”
“This is different, Mother.”
“It is not, Sterling, and for that I am sorry.”
“Goodbye, Mother.”
“What of Caroline and her family?” his mother called after he was seated in the wagon. “Who will be your estate manager?”
“William or Caroline, it does not matter. Let Hallaway be in charge of the grapes and wine for as long as he wants. I no longer care.”
*
Caroline remained in her home, as did her father and brother.
They were not certain what to do. She assumed that when the decision was made, Wyndham would come and tell them.
A part of her wanted to start packing, believing it was inevitable that they would be asked to leave.
Yet she couldn’t bring herself to do so.
Maybe it was because she was nearly paralyzed with fear.
Where would they go and what would they do?
The anxiety also temporarily overrode the pain in her heart. That ache deep down that she had lost love.
The knock on the door startled her but she could not move. She looked at her father then William. Her father was only here because neither her nor William would allow him to go the vineyard until their fate was decided. William had paced and waited to learn their fate.
Caroline took a deep breath, crossed to the entry and opened the door only to find Lady Wyndham standing there.
“Did you need something Lady Wyndham?”
“No, Caroline, I came to see you.”
Her heart sank. She was going to tell her that Sterling was gone. She should not be surprised because there was no longer a reason for him to remain, but it hurt deeply.
“What of our circumstances?” William asked.
“To quote my son after I asked who was to the estate manager, ‘William or Caroline, it does not matter. Let Hallaway be in charge of the grapes and wine for as long as he wants. I no longer care.’”
Her brother let out a sigh of relief and part of her fear eased.
“Walk with me Caroline.”
She did as Lady Wyndham asked and stepped outside onto the terrace.
“I am sorry things did not turn out better.”
“We have our positions and we still have a home. I can assure you that we are very grateful.”
“That is not what I meant.”
She did not want to discuss Sterling, especially with his mother.
“I really thought he had changed. I thought he found happiness here. I wanted so much for the two of you, I hoped…Why else would I make certain you were with him every time I sent him away? The two of you were prefect for each other.”
Caroline could only stare. First the manipulation so Sterling could remember where he came from.
The second manipulation was because Caroline needed to take more time for herself.
Now, to find out that there had been a third and that it was because his mother decided to be a matchmaker was too much.
Had she not interfered, Caroline would never have come to know Sterling so well, nor become his lover, and she would not be hurting so badly right now.
Oh, she wanted to give Lady Wyndham a piece of her mind but knew that it would not do any good.
“It was never meant to be, Lady Wyndham. And even if there had been a possibility, I destroyed any chance by my deception.”
“He is as stubborn and hardhearted as his father.”
He was not. No matter how he had treated her yesterday out of anger, she knew that he had changed, but it was likely only temporary and he would revert to who he had been once he was back in England. “Then perhaps it is best that it ended this way.”
It was something that she would need to tell herself in the days to come, especially during the long nights alone in her bed.
“Perhaps,” his mother agreed. “But I do not need to be happy about it.” She forced a smile. “But, now that my son is gone, I expect you, along with your brother and father to join me for dinner tonight.”
Caroline was fairly certain that she would have no appetite.
“I insist!”
“Yes, of course.” Perhaps by the time the dinner hour arrived she might be in better spirits, but it was unlikely.