Chapter 12 #2
“But I should have known!” Elizabeth said with emotion.
“I should have known better, but I was so determined to dislike Mr Darcy because he refused to dance with me that I wrote him off as being haughty and proud, rather than circumspect and reserved. I tried to laugh at his slight, but his comment about my inferior beauty wounded my vanity, so you can well imagine how little it took for me to find further fault with him, especially after Mr Wickham came to Hertfordshire and ingratiated himself with the entire village. Undeserving, hateful man…”
Wiping tears from her eyes, Elizabeth swept the panel of rich, brocade drapery aside and looked out the window. With a rueful laugh, she lowered herself onto a settee upholstered in green velvet and sagged against its softness.
Mrs Gardiner claimed a place beside her and offered her a lace handkerchief.
“Dry your eyes, my dear. Take a moment to calm yourself. It will do you no good to upset yourself now. Both gentlemen misrepresented themselves in their own way, and quite consciously I might add. It is unfortunate, but that does not make it any less true.”
“Perhaps,” Elizabeth agreed, drying her tears, “but it was Mr Wickham, a scoundrel of the highest order, who managed to cast his spell and charm me as effortlessly as he did everyone else. I held Mr Darcy’s reserve against him, while I embraced Mr Wickham for his very lack of reserve.
My behaviour towards both men was not at all what it ought to have been. ”
“You were wrong,” said Mrs Gardiner gently, “to have behaved as you did, but given the intelligence at the time, and taking the manners of both gentlemen into account, it is not difficult to understand why you felt inclined to do so.”
Elizabeth’s recollection of the ferocity of her resentment towards Darcy at that time was too mortifying and too deep-seated to be shaken free by her aunt’s rationality.
“While I appreciate your faith in me, it was childish and beneath me to punish Mr Darcy for his remarks when I ought not to have overheard them in the first place. It mattered little to me whether we were in the company of our neighbours, his friends, or even his nearest relations—it brought me satisfaction to see Mr Darcy discomposed by my sharp tongue.”
She exhaled harshly. “My only defence—and I know it is by no means an excuse for my poor behaviour—is that I believed he intended to discompose me as well. Of course, I learned soon enough how mistaken I was on that score. How Mr Darcy has since found it within himself to look beyond my trespasses I will never know, especially as I have yet to offer him an apology for my unjust accusations and insolent treatment of him. He has since proven himself to be unfailingly gracious and fair, while Mr Wickham has done nothing but behave far from respectably, towards all of us.”
“Mr Darcy is truly the best of men,” Mrs Gardiner stated with quiet conviction.
“Since we first had the pleasure of meeting him at Pemberley, he has been nothing but kind and generous to us—all ease and friendliness. We are fond of him, and it is obvious to your uncle and me that Mr Darcy is extremely fond of you.”
“I cannot imagine why,” Elizabeth said feelingly.
“Except for Jane, Uncle Gardiner, and you, my entire family and I have done nothing but behave poorly at every turn—not to mention I am now sister to a man Mr Darcy despises above all others. I am the last person in the world who deserves his notice. I certainly do not deserve his esteem.”
“I believe Mr Darcy considers you worthy of both and that, my dear, is all that truly matters. The rest will come in time, of this I am certain.” Mrs Gardiner clasped Elizabeth’s hands between her own and applied a gentle pressure.
“As for Jane,” she said peevishly, “I would not be so quick to nominate her for sainthood.”
“No one,” Elizabeth insisted, “is so good, nor so kind as our dear Jane. If she is not worthy of sainthood, I do not know who would be worthy in this world of ours.”
“I have often thought much the same, but after witnessing her behaviour this afternoon I must disagree. I saw no kindness in your sister today—only petty meanness.”
Astonished, Elizabeth looked at her aunt askance, but Mrs Gardiner offered nothing by way of an explanation.
“Jane did appear less animated than usual at dinner, but I noticed nothing amiss in her manners or address. Mr Bingley also appeared distracted and out of sorts. Perhaps they have quarrelled.”
“I would wager a great deal they probably have,” said Mrs Gardiner.
“But surely, if that is the case, the entirety of the blame for their disagreement cannot be laid at Jane’s feet, Aunt.
It is not in her nature to intentionally wound Mr Bingley any more than I believe it is in his to knowingly inflict distress upon her.
Whatever has occurred must be the result of a simple misunderstanding between them and nothing more. ”
“I am afraid there is more to it than that, my dear—much more. Though it has never been Jane’s way to knowingly occasion pain to anyone in the past, in this case her words appeared contrived to achieve precisely that end.”
Again, Elizabeth was all astonishment. “To Mr Bingley? I cannot believe that she would ever—”
“No, Lizzy,” said Mrs Gardiner, and in her tone, Elizabeth detected a note of irritability not often present in her aunt’s voice. “Not to Mr Bingley, although he was by no means unaffected by her poor performance. I am sorry to say the object of Jane’s scorn was none other than Mr Darcy.”
“Mr Darcy!” Elizabeth cried. “That is impossible. He is Mr Bingley’s dearest friend.” However, Elizabeth had no sooner spoken the words than she recalled that Jane had been angry with Darcy for some time. But surely, Jane would never give voice to her resentment…
“It is my belief your sister did not intend to quarrel with Mr Darcy,” Mrs Gardiner admitted, “at least not from the onset, but I would not describe her mood as congenial when the gentlemen called. She was displeased Mr Bingley had arrived so late in the afternoon after shooting all day with Mr Darcy. She was even more displeased that Mr Bingley had not come to Longbourn alone. She confessed as much to me when I enquired, and I could not help myself. I gave her such a set-down as I have ever delivered!”
Elizabeth felt the colour drain from her face.
Her aunt had not done. “From the moment we entered the room, Mr Darcy was nothing but amiable and polite. Jane’s provocation of him was entirely unmerited, her insinuations unfeeling and cruel!
The entire scene was perpetrated in front of both Mr Bingley and me.
Honestly, Lizzy, the disregard with which she treated Mr Darcy was positively shocking!
I did not blame him one bit for wanting to go away in the manner he did. I confess I wanted to go away myself.”
“There must be some mistake,” Elizabeth stammered.
She could hardly credit all her aunt had related and was desperate to exonerate Jane of any wrongdoing.
To believe her most beloved sister would stoop so low as to abuse the very man Elizabeth herself had treated so unjustly was beyond the pale!
“It is not sound,” she said, her stomach knotted with worry.
“It is unlike Jane to behave deplorably to anyone. Perhaps she was feeling unwell this afternoon. Perhaps she was overly tired. Did she give any indication she was not herself? Did Mr Darcy say something to upset her? This makes absolutely no sense.”
“It certainly does not,” Mrs Gardiner agreed, shaking her head sadly.
“Not everything was clear to me, you understand, but your sister’s actions and demeanour up until that point gave me no cause for concern.
Not once did I fear she would act upon her contention and torment Mr Darcy in such a manner.
“Elizabeth,” she continued, lowering her voice, “I want you to know I heard enough of her speech—more than enough, in fact—to deduce that an exchange of a very personal and private nature must have transpired between you and Mr Darcy while you were visiting Kent. I can only assume that you confided the details of that exchange to Jane. Not only did she allude to it, but she was quite angry when she did. She appears to hold him accountable for whatever discord occurred between you there. Tell me, is there any truth to this?”
Though Elizabeth knew she ought to answer her aunt, she found herself powerless to do more than stare in stunned disbelief.
She would have expected such behaviour from Lydia and their mother—even Kitty—but never from Jane!
Darcy’s insulting proposal and Elizabeth’s furious response to it were topics far too painful and mortifying to broach when the sisters were alone, never mind mention in company!
But according to her aunt that was precisely what had happened!
Elizabeth was devastated. Never had she believed her favourite sister, who had always been nothing but solicitous and kind-hearted, capable of such unfaithfulness!
Never had she considered her equal to such coldness and cruelty!
Jane may have been ignorant of the true extent of Elizabeth’s feelings for Darcy, but she was by no means ignorant of Elizabeth’s improved opinion of him.
Though she suspected Jane’s original motive must have been to protect her, Elizabeth could neither find it within her heart to appreciate the gesture as she ought, nor dismiss her sister’s interference in such an acutely personal matter.
She could imagine how furious Darcy must be with her for sharing such painful and mortifying details with her sister, only to have them thrown back in his face—and in public no less!
Elizabeth’s distress was acute.
Mrs Gardiner embraced her. “Lizzy,” she said kindly. “You care for him. I know you do. There is no sense denying it.”
“Yes,” Elizabeth confessed on a breath, dissolving into tears. “How will I ever make this right? I know very well that nothing can be done to make this right! Mr Darcy will take every opportunity to avoid an acquaintance with us now.”
“Be sensible, my dear. I very much doubt that your sister’s tongue has managed to undo Mr Darcy’s admiration for you. His sentiments run much deeper than that and you do him a disservice by implying otherwise.”
Swiping angrily at the wetness on her cheeks, Elizabeth disagreed. “I thank you for your assurance, but you cannot possibly know such a thing, not for certain.”
“Do not underestimate the power of a gentleman’s devotion, my dear.
Fear not. We will get to the bottom of this.
I will do all in my power to help you make things right between you and your Mr Darcy, but you must have faith.
You will see. Such happiness is not beyond your reach, despite having two very selfish sisters. ”