Chapter 22 #2
Elizabeth, sensing his need for reassurance, surrendered hers as discreetly as possible.
A full minute passed before he spoke. When he did, his voice was hoarse, flayed by a surge of emotion that startled her.
“I have never been able to forget you. If I am anything, I am loyal. I am constant. You need never question my faithfulness. You need never doubt my devotion. I am yours, in body and soul, for as long as I am able to draw breath.”
Elizabeth did not expect such an intimate, reverent profession, not in a room full of her family. She was moved—incredibly moved—by the spontaneity of Darcy’s declaration and the sincerity behind it as much as she was by the steady, fervent expression of love in his eyes as he gazed at her.
She tightened her grip on his hand and was about to reply when her sister appeared by her side.
“Lizzy,” Jane said, effectively ending their private communion. Her eyes travelled from Elizabeth’s flushed face to the couple’s clasped hands, partially hidden by the folds of her sister’s gown. “It is time for us to depart.”
Darcy released her hand at once and rose from the settee. “Of course,” he said sedately, averting his eyes as he quietly cleared his throat. “We should be going as well. Please permit me the pleasure of escorting you to your carriage, Miss Bennet.”
This time Elizabeth extended her hand to him. “I am honoured, Mr Darcy.”
Ensconced in the room Jane had given her in Park Street, Elizabeth sat upon the bed in her night shift and robe, absently plaiting her hair.
She was lost in thought—thoughts of Darcy.
She smiled to herself. She could not help it.
She had never been happier. The only thing marring that happiness was Jane.
As if her sister had been privy to her thoughts, Elizabeth heard a knock upon the door, followed by Jane’s soft voice. Elizabeth bid her enter.
“I hope you will like it here, Lizzy. Charles wanted to give you a much larger room, but that one is situated at the front of the house and overlooks the street. I thought you would prefer this one, which has a lovely view of the courtyard instead.”
The room itself was beautiful, and Elizabeth could find no fault with its location, furniture, or closets. As for the view, she would have to wait until morning to see what delights it afforded. “It is a cosy, inviting space, elegant and tastefully decorated. I like it very much.”
“I am glad. Thank you for agreeing to come to London, for joining me on my honeymoon. I do not know what I would have done had you decided against it.”
“You and Mr Bingley would get along perfectly fine without me. I am pleased my presence still affords you comfort, but, as your husband, Mr Bingley can provide comforts I cannot. It is late. I imagine you would rather be in your own bedchamber with him than in here with me.”
Jane coloured deeply and averted her eyes. “I am tired. Charles has been a most…attentive husband.”
The corners of Elizabeth’s mouth lifted with a smile. “Are you attentive to him as well?”
“Lizzy,” Jane admonished, stifling an incredulous laugh. “How can you speak of such things?”
Elizabeth bit her lip. “Quite easily, I am afraid. I confess to feeling a certain amount of curiosity. What Mamma had to say on the subject cannot be all there is to the business. Surely there must be more.”
Jane’s eyes grew wide. “Lizzy, you are incorrigible! I told you all Mamma related already. Truly, there is little else to divulge.”
Elizabeth cocked her head. “Mr Bingley expects nothing from you? He makes no requests? He offers no encouragement? No…inducement?”
Jane appeared truly perplexed. “I do not know what you mean. What sort of requests? What sort of inducement?”
Elizabeth’s thoughts turned to Darcy and his fervent plea that she kiss him often once they were married, as well as his ardent reaction when she had inadvertently grazed the skin of his neck with her fingertips, and his adeptness at coaxing passionate responses from her with his kisses and caresses and words of love.
She felt a flush of heat. “I hardly know, but there must be more. More than lying beneath the counterpane prone upon the bed until one’s husband is sated.
What of kissing? Of…touching? Surely, a husband desires more from his wife than what Mamma proclaimed. ”
Jane sat upon the bed and plucked at the counterpane. Her blush intensified. “I have done what she instructed, and Charles appears pleased. It is gratifying to be the source of such joy for my husband. I cannot imagine anything more fulfilling.”
Elizabeth’s smile was half-hearted at best. She could not imagine simply lying corpse-like in her marital bed, nor did she believe Darcy would want that, not if his passionate responses to her kisses and innocent caresses were any indication.
“I am happy for you. You are very good. Mr Bingley is fortunate in his choice of wife.”
“As I am fortunate to have such a husband,” Jane told her. She straightened and clasped her hands upon her lap. “Lizzy, I would speak to you.”
Elizabeth wrapped her hand around the ornate, mahogany bedpost and sighed. “If you mean to speak of my engagement to Mr Darcy, I must caution you to take care. I have no desire to quarrel with you tonight.”
“You mean to have him, then.”
Elizabeth laughed incredulously. “I do not ‘mean to have him’, as though he is a prize to be won. I am going to marry Mr Darcy because I love him. There is nothing more to say on the subject.”
Jane’s shoulders slumped. “I am sorry. This ought to be a happy time for you, yet I am ruining it.”
“You are ruining nothing,” Elizabeth said carefully, making a concerted effort to conceal her irritation, “but your dislike of Mr Darcy does complicate matters. You are displeased with my choice and that pains me. I would be dishonest if I said otherwise. While I can understand your dissatisfaction with Mr Darcy to some extent, your reasoning is not sound. You are safely married to Mr Bingley now. Mr Darcy did not prevent it from happening, nor did he wish to prevent it. He encouraged his friend and supported him even before Mr Bingley returned to Netherfield to claim your hand. He stood beside him in church. He wished you both every happiness.”
“It is true. I know it is true, and try as I may, I cannot find fault with his conduct.”
“Then why do you insist on holding him accountable for Mr Bingley’s decision to remain in town for nearly a year?”
Jane leapt from the bed in distress. “If I absolve Mr Darcy of his role in the affair, the blame must fall solely upon Charles. I cannot bear the thought of feeling such resentment towards my husband. I cannot! I would be miserable! I would become bitter and hateful, and Charles would resent me for it.”
“Did you never consider that by holding such a grudge against Mr Darcy you are risking your husband’s ire in any case, despite your misguided logic?
You have said yourself that Mr Darcy is Mr Bingley’s oldest friend.
When I marry Mr Darcy, he and Mr Bingley will become brothers.
Do you think your husband will not be injured by your coldness towards a man so dear to him?
Do you think witnessing your prejudice against Mr Darcy will not spark bitterness in Mr Bingley?
Do you think he will not become angry with you?
Do you think he will not resent your inability to let the past remain in the past? ”
“I…do not know. I did not think of it in such terms.”
Elizabeth rose and took her sister’s hands in both her own.
“You ought to think of it in precisely those terms. I do not want to see you and Mr Bingley injured by this any more than I wish to see Mr Darcy injured. You must let bygones be bygones. You have done as much with Mr Wickham, who is a scoundrel at heart, yet you continue to persecute Mr Darcy, who is in every facet of his conduct Mr Wickham’s superior in essentials. ”
She paused for a moment to draw a calming breath.
“I will speak plainly. By refusing to extend the same courtesy to Mr Darcy, you are risking more than your husband’s discontentment.
You are jeopardising our closeness as well.
I love you, Jane, with all my heart, but I have come to love Mr Darcy as much.
If you only knew what he has done—the sacrifices he has made, how truly selfless he is—then perhaps you would be better able to put aside your scorn. ”
Jane regarded her with furrowed brows. “What has Mr Darcy done?”
Elizabeth slowly shook her head. “I cannot tell you. I cannot betray his trust. I can only assure you of his honour and goodness. That will have to be enough.”