8. Tennant #4
I got us into the video chat, my fingers shaking so badly I almost dropped my cell a few times. She accepted the call, and then there they were, heads side by side, smiling at me. Nope. No. I couldn’t do this. Not like this. Not over the phone.
“Here’s Dad.” Mom patted his cheek. “He’s very happy about Jennifer coming back home too.”
Okay. Yeah. It had to be now… like this. Fuck. Shit.
“Mom, Dad, I’m really happy that Jennifer is back home.” Mom gave Dad a knowing wink. “But I’m not going to rekindle anything with her because… well, there is nothing to rekindle.”
“Oh, Tennant,” Mom said as Dad stood bent over behind her, his dark eyes locked on me.
“Of course, there is. You took that girl to every dance. She went to all your games and cheered you on. Everyone knew you two were a couple. Why, you and Jen were chosen “Most Likely To Live Happily-Ever-After” in your yearbook.”
“She’s available, son.” Dad chimed in. “Your mother asked.”
“Oh God,” I moaned.
“I didn’t ask Jennifer,” Mom quickly clarified. “I asked her mother. You need to make sure you fill in the important details,” she gently scolded the man standing behind her.
“Mom, it has nothing to do with the fact that she’s available. I’m not.”
They both took a second to digest that announcement. It kind of shocked me too, but now that I’d said it, it felt right. Mads was the only person I wanted to be with.
“Oh, well, you never mentioned you were seeing a new girl…”
I took a deep breath as I stared right into my mother’s eyes. “That’s because it’s not a girl.”
And all the air on planet Earth was sucked into a vortex. Had to have been, because breathing got damn difficult. Mom looked shaky. Dad… Dad was spinning wheels for sure.
“Are you saying that you’re gay?” Mom finally asked.
I sucked in a huge breath of air and nodded. Mom sat in our kitchen looking at me as if she didn’t know me. Dad walked away. I started to tear up. Fuck. My father had just walked out…
“Tennant, oh honey, why didn’t you tell us sooner? I wouldn’t have pushed Jennifer on you if I’d… Bruce, come back from the window. Dear Lord, he’ll think you walked out.”
Oh. My. God. He’d just gone to look at the back yard. That was what he always did when he was hit with shit out of the blue. He’d go look at the yard while he processed. Said he found the yard calming.
He was looking at the yard. He didn’t walk out. Oh fuck. I started crying.
“Tennant? Son. Oh, Bruce!” Mom started crying.
“Son.” That was Dad. I cried even harder, my tears splattering on the front of my phone. “Tennant, don’t cry. Please. It was just… unexpected news, that’s all.”
“I didn’t want to tell you guys like this…
” I coughed, snuffled, then used the shirt I’d just packed to wipe my face and phone.
“But the Jennifer thing. Mom, I don’t want her thinking there’s anything between us.
There never was. Not like that. I lied to her.
I’ve lied to so many people. Dad, please don’t walk out again. ”
“I won’t, son. Don’t you worry. Not ever.”
That made me cry harder. I’m not sure how long Mom and I sat there weeping and trying to talk.
We said all kinds of things, the three of us.
Most of it was stupid apologies from both sides.
I was sorry for being born gay and they were sorry for not being better gay parents, which made me snort-laugh so hard my sinuses vibrated.
Then I told them that I loved them. And they told me the same thing.
“This boyfriend,” Mom asked after the tears were finally drying on all our faces. Dad had gone a little weepy too. “Is he nice? Does he treat you well?”
“Yeah, he does. I’m not really comfortable with this yet—talking about it with you guys—but he’s great.” Telling them the man I was seeing was Mads just was not happening today. No way could I do any more drama.
“Maybe you could talk to Brady or Jamie about him? I’m assuming they’ve known for some time. Parents are always the last to know.” Mom sighed. Dad rubbed her shoulder. I sure had fucked up their day.
“No, neither of them knows. Just you, and Mads, and some of the Railers’ team and management.
Not the whole team, just the captain. I came out to Mads first. There was a fight on the ice.
” I tried to explain. They both got all sorts of fired-up about the slur.
And that made me want to cry again, but I held back the tears.
“Please don’t tell Brady or Jamie. Let me do it my own way, okay? ”
“Yes, of course, son,” Dad hurried to say.
Mom nodded, then took a shaky sip of her tea. I’d bet they’d both have something way stronger than coffee or tea to drink after this talk ended.
“Tennant? Should we join GLAAD?” Dad asked.
“Oh, Bruce, I think we should,” Mom gushed, like joining GLAAD was the best thing since strawberry jam or Sir Elton John. “We can march with Tennant during Pride Week. Would you like that, Tennant?”
“That would be epic.”
I honestly didn’t think I could love them more than I did right then. I cried again. They did too. I was still working on getting Weepy Ten under control when I finally got myself together enough to head over to Mads’ place. This was big, and I needed him.