16. Mason #2
“You’ll never find out what it’s like to be traded when no one would dare to trade their darling superstar—”
“The fuck, Jamie—”
“Guys, stop arguing,” Brady interrupted. “This could be good timing, okay? I’m tired, and I want to think through my options so no decisions okay. I just wanted you to know.”
I backed away because the last thing they needed was to know I was close enough to hear them talking, only my heel hit a stone, and I tumbled back into a heap of bushes onto my ass into the dirt, letting out a yell as the cold soda hit the dirt and exploded in a mess of sugar and ice.
“You okay?”
I blinked up at Tennant freaking Rowe, who had his hand out to help me up.
“Embarrassed,” I muttered and took his hand, pulled up in one go, and then Ten was brushing me down of earth and soda before he stepped back and put his hands on his hips.
“It happens to all of us,” he nodded knowingly. Unspoken was the added when you hover to listen to people’s conversations. Well shit.
“Are you okay, Mason?” Brady asked, and Jamie was there as well. In fact, I was faced with a smirking row of incredibly handsome Rowe brothers. If I wasn’t so head over heels for Xander, I’d be tongue-tied right now.
“I’m good, thanks. Uhm, I’m Mason, Eli’s brother,” I explained to Jamie and Ten and then stopped because where did I go from there. “I wanted to talk to you,” I blurted, and they looked at each other and then back at me. “You,” I pointed at Ten.
Ten smiled at me in encouragement. “Okay?”
Brady and Jamie began to leave but that wasn’t right. “All of you, actually.”
I stalked past all three of them, right to where they’d been talking, hidden from the party, in a quiet space, and there was plenty of room for me to pace in front of them when they joined me.
“I know you’re with Xander,” Brady reassured me.
“If that’s what you’re worried about. The team chat blew up with it last week, and Xander spoke to me.
He seems happy and settled, and that’s what I want for him as his captain and friend.
” Seemed to me as if Brady had rehearsed that little speech because he looked pleased with himself that he’d recalled all the right things to say.
What is wrong with me? Brady is a good guy. He’s not rehearsed anything at all.
“Thank you, but it’s not about Xander.” I stopped my pacing. Maybe I should have waited for Xander to find me. I could have done this with his steady presence next to me. “It’s about Aarni Lankinen.”
Ten stiffened, Jamie cursed, and Brady’s smile slipped, his eyes narrowing. None of them said a word.
“What did he do now?” Jamie growled.
“No, not now, this was a long time ago, when I was younger. It was my eighteenth birthday, his team was in town, and there was a thing at my brother’s place the other team had been invited to.
Aarni cornered me, in the kitchen, and after a while I didn’t like it, but I couldn’t get away. ” Words failed me.
“Fucker,” it was Brady’s turn to growl. Ten took a step toward me, his face a mask of compassion.
“I’m so sorry,” he murmured, but I didn’t want sympathy.
“I didn’t tell anyone.” I took a step away and collided with something hard.
Someone hard. A man who put their arms around me and held me tight.
I hadn’t even heard Xander approach, but I knew it was him and from the way he held me he was probably in full-on protector mode.
“Eli and Xander wanted to kill him, then they wanted to report him, but I wouldn’t let them,” I ended miserably.
“Aarni had been flirting with me, and I’d had a beer, and I was flattered at first, and then I didn’t move out of his way. It was half my fault.”
“Bullshit,” Xander and Jamie said at the same time.
“If I’d had the balls to say something to the cops, or his team, then Aarni might have been watched, or fired, or… all I know is, he wasn’t, and he went on to hurt others, and then you. Ten, he hurt you, and I’m so sorry, but maybe I could have stopped it all.”
Ten took a step closer to me, but Xander held me tight, and even though I couldn’t move I felt protected.
Ten didn’t look angry, in fact, he seemed resigned and sad.
He reached out to touch my arm then gripped me and tugged me from Xander’s hold.
Xander released me until I was pulled into a hug with Ten.
“Not your fault,” Ten murmured into the fierce hug. “You were as much a victim as the rest of us, I promise you it wasn’t your fault. Please don’t tell me you’ve been carrying this with you all this time.”
I wanted to do something stupid, like cry, or hug Ten back, or ask him to punch me, or something because my skin felt too tight, and I couldn’t reach Xander.
“I should have said something,” I murmured against Ten’s neck, and he hugged me closer, holding me as tight as Xander had done.
“Nah, it wouldn’t have fixed a damn thing,” Ten said then eased me away. I was immediately pulled into a hug by Jamie then Brady. Xander waded into the Rowe hug-athon and pulled me free and held my hand.
“Okay, so we’re cool here?” Xander asked, but his shoulders were back, and he was primed for confrontation, bristling with all the love he had for me. I cuddled into him, never loving him more than I did at this moment, never feeling more protected or ridiculously over-loved in return.
“It’s all good,” Ten said with a wide smile, patting my arm. “You know where I am if you ever need to talk.”
“And me,” Jamie added, with his own pat.
“Likewise.” Brady nodded.
I felt as if the most enormous weight had been lifted.
Not because I didn’t carry survivor’s guilt or because I could stop playing devil’s advocate on how I might have changed what happened to Ten and the others.
It was because the words and fears were out in the open, and nothing was as soul-destroying when it was out in daylight.
“I’m hungry,” Jamie announced. “I need food.” He headed up the path, with Ten following close, but when Xander started to leave, Brady stopped him.
“Can we talk, Xan?” He sounded so serious, and I knew this was going to be hockey related, and like Jamie, I was all of a sudden very hungry.
“I’ll see you up there.” I wrapped my arms around Xander’s neck and kissed him hard then headed up the path with the others. Ten was waiting, slinging his arm over my shoulder, and telling me a story about the Railers’ goalie and a mouse.
And everything felt right.