Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
Carrie
I’m breathless as I stare up at Shane. I sweep my gaze down the length of his body to where his joins with mine. I release the seat and tentatively run my hands up his ribs to his pecs. He balances on his left forearm as his right hand captures mine over his heart. We watch each other, neither knowing what to say.
When the car stops, and we feel it shift into park, we sit up. I peer through the window and realize two things. We’ve been in the car longer than I thought. We’re outside the Greenwich courthouse. Shane notices at the same time I do because we’re soon scrambling to get our clothes back on. I see everyone gathering on the steps, and my parents are there too.
Holy fuck.
We just pulled up to our wedding.
I glance down at my clothes. I’m in Shane’s—Sean’s—shorts and t shirt. The same ones I wore while my colleagues mocked me and sneered.
How shortsighted. How narcissistic.
If they believe I’m involved with Shane, then they should’ve thought twice about how they treated me. Even if he does nothing to any of them, they should have a healthier fear of his family. I worried about him while we were apart. My reasonable mind knew they’d never do anything to him in that building. At least not with Dillan in the room with him and Cormac and Seamus in the ones next door. But that didn’t stop my worry.
It made me think about how far I’d go to defend him. I realized with what I’ve learned about the people in that building as well as how the agency works and how criminals get caught, I know how to get away with a shit ton of shit. As we get out of the car and join our families, I sweep my gaze over them, too. I’m already aware I’m protective of Mom and Dad because they’re my parents, but I’ve felt a new sense of defensiveness since hearing the NYPD approached them.
I recognize Breda and Ronan, but there are two women who look like mirrors of my future mother-in-law, and two men who mirror my future father-in-law.
“Your family genetics are unbelievable. Like, you should be in science textbooks.” I keep my voice down, but Shane laughs hard enough that I swat at his ribs.
“Easy, cailín . I laugh because the other women have said things similar to that.”
I don’t know who the women not related to Shane’s mom and aunts are, but there are four closer to my age. I assume they’re my soon-to-be sisters-in-law and cousins-in-law. I feel out of place at my own wedding. I know my clothes shouldn’t matter, but they do. I look down at my rumpled outfit and try not to wince.
“Carys?” It’s Saoirse—Cormac and Seamus’s mom—who steps forward.
“Hi.”
“Cormac and Seamus both texted me to say you and I are the closest in size. I hope you don’t mind, but I brought some things you might like. The girls helped me decide.”
I look at the garment bag now draped over her arm and realize she’s referring to the women my age. Shane takes the bag with a kiss on his aunt’s cheek. He starts to open it, but the woman introduced as Márgrég—Mair—snatches it from him.
“Absolutely not. You are not seeing your bride’s outfit until she steps before that judge. Go fill out the paperwork. Her parents’ll tell you her Social.”
I don’t expect Shane to know my Social Security Number yet, but he doesn’t even know my birthday. I don’t know his. Then again, he probably does since he dug into my life. I should have done the same. I don’t know his favorite food. I don’t know if he has any allergies. I don’t know?—”
“ Cailín , we don’t have to do this if you’re not okay with it.”
Shane’s leaning over to whisper in my ear. I feel like I’m in a haze as I shift my focus from Mair to him. When our gazes lock, everything clicks. Cliché as that is, it does.
“My birthdate is April twenty-third. My favorite food is spaghetti, and I don’t have any allergies.”
He blinks twice before he smiles at me. He leans so close, his lips brush my ear. “My birthdate is February ninth. I don’t have any allergies. And my favorite meal is you. But if I can’t have that, I like cake with way too much frosting. I plan to celebrate by licking some off you tonight.”
He chuckles when he sees how I flush. Not blush. Flush. Heat radiates from my cheeks. I know no one heard him. It’s my erotic thoughts that match. I’m having them with his parents and mine right there. Standing, watching, knowing. Fuck my life. I’d say fuck me, but he might take me up on the offer right here, right now.
“Come on.”
Mair grabs my hand as she hands off the bag to the beautiful woman with the long braids down her back and the clearest complexion I’ve ever seen. I know her name’s Ally, and she’s Finn’s wife. He’s almost too gorgeous to take in, and she’s breathtaking. They’re equally matched in beauty. It makes us mere mortals wonder if we’re walking on the same planet. It makes me even dowdier.
“Do you wear makeup?” This comes from my other future sister-in-law as we walk into the restroom inside.
Nikki could have stepped off a runway in Paris. She’s willowy, and I bet there’s not a single piece of clothing she’s ever tried on that doesn’t fit her perfectly. A quiet woman passes me the makeup bag Nikki pulls from her purse.
“Thanks.”
Tiernan’s Seamus’s wife, and something about her puts me at ease when she speaks softly.
“We’re a lot. I’m the newest to join the family, and I’m still getting used to it. I think I know what you’re thinking. As pretty as all of them are, their hearts are far more beautiful. Don’t be embarrassed you aren’t getting the heavy white dress and uncomfortable shoes with the tiara that pokes your scalp. We’ll help you get ready. But honestly, Shane looks at you the same way all the husbands look at their wives. You could show up in a burlap sack—though I bet he’s wishing you’d show up naked—and he’d still think you’re the most beautiful woman in the world. That’s how they see us. I know from the other girls—I know from myself—we don’t see ourselves the way they do. For what it’s worth, your dark hair, blue eyes, and fair skin that obviously tans well make you look like one of those classic porcelain dolls. The kind so special your parents say you can look but don’t touch.”
She grins at me, and I feel better. I never thought I looked like a doll, but I think I know what she’s talking about. I have the stereotypical Welsh coloring. Dark hair, blue eyes, the dark side of fair skin, and high cheekbones. That’s like saying all Scots and Irish have red hair—my new family excluded.
I obviously pass for more than just Welsh, but that’s because I think most people don’t know what a Welsh person’s “supposed” to look like. Pasty with rotten teeth is what someone once told me. I reminded them I’m not English. Their Liverpudlian ass didn’t appreciate that.
“Thank you. That means a lot. I’m feeling a little overwhelmed suddenly.”
“One thing you’ll realize quickly is there are few pretenses among us all. Who you are is who we want to know. Who you are is who Shane l—cares about.”
She stops herself. I follow her gaze and catch Mair turning her head away. Do they know we don’t love each other? Did Shane tell Dillan, and he told Mair? Can they all tell? Maybe not if Tiernan was about to say love and caught herself.
“Let’s see what Mom brought you.” Nikki grins as she pulls out the dresses Mair hung over the outside of the stall wall.
They vary in style from casual summer dress to cocktail. I don’t know what to pick since Shane’s in basketball shorts and a t-shirt like me. There’s one I like, but it would be way over the top in comparison. It’s way over the top for a JOP. Then again, I don’t know if people wear proper wedding dresses to have a Justice of the Peace marry them.
Wait. Mom?
It’s Tiernan who explains again. “We don’t say anything in-law. We’re just brothers, sisters, cousins, moms, dads, aunts, and uncles. I don’t know how your parents will feel, but I know Aunt Breda and Uncle Ronan would love it if you called them Mom and Da. If you’re not comfortable with that, then Breda and Ronan will make them happy, too.”
“I’ve never thought about calling anyone else Mom and Dad.”
My face heats again as I think about calling Shane Daddy. I definitely never imagined I’d call a man who isn’t my father that. The women snicker, and I don’t understand what I said that’s so funny.
Ally takes mercy on me. “We don’t talk about it because it’s private between husband and wife, but it’s not a well-kept secret. All the couples find themselves in the same dynamic. I bet you call Shane Daddy.”
I stand there with my mouth hanging open for a moment before I snap it shut. I try again, but I just look like a trout catching flies.
Nikki’s cool hands grasp my forearms and give them a squeeze before she speaks.
“Carys, we all call our husbands that. We’ve all said it louder than we intended or let it slip when we think no one’s around. I promise you when you hear our husbands call us cailín , it’s not something any of them throw around easily. It’s not something any of them called a woman before meeting the one they married. If it’s what Shane calls you, know he’s called no one else that. But the moment he did, whether or not he realized it, he decided he’d marry you.”
I try to remember when that was. I think the night we met. The night I was half-dead. The night I never wanted to leave his arms, even if I sounded ungrateful. The night I felt safe for the first time since I became an agent who goes—went—undercover.
“Thank you for explaining.” I offer a weak smile, but it brightens when Mair teases me.
“Don’t you dare tell Shane where you got these from. Better yet, don’t tell Dillan because he’ll plotz.” She opens her purse and pulls out a pair of fuzzy pink handcuffs. “My guess is you both like it kinky too. I might have slipped over to a sex shop and gotten these and a few other things in a bag in my car before I went to pick up Nikki, Ally, and Tiernan.”
“And we might have stopped at another store to get a few more things before helping Mom pick out these dresses.” Nikki opens her purse and pulls out a paddle.
Ally and Tiernan giggle and dig in their purses. No wonder they’re all carrying such big ones. Ally waves a dildo before dropping it back in her purse, and Tiernan has a set of nipple and clit clamps.
“I didn’t think my bachelorette party would be in a courthouse restroom, but thank you. I—I—” I’m choking back tears. “I feel welcome.”
“You are.” Four voices chirp the same response.
“We need to hurry before Shane’s dressed and bursting in here.” I watch Mair, and it’s the most serious she’s been since I met her fifteen minutes ago.
“He’s getting dressed?”
“You think our mom and aunts would let him show up to his wedding in shorts and a t-shirt?” Ally tsks. “Hardly.”
“She talked Ronan out of insisting all the guys wear their tuxes. It is an impressive sight, which would not be low profile.” Tiernan grins. “But wait until you see them all dressed up. It’s—it’s—well, it’s about the hottest fucking thing you’ve ever seen. You’ve seen them. They’re all nearly as good looking as Seamus, so it’s?—”
“Ahem!” Ally hip checks Tiernan. “I’m married to the pretty one according to the other families.”
Tiernan shrugs unrepentantly. “Pretty is nice. Seamus is gorgeous.”
Mair snorts. “Have you seen Dillan when he’s brooding? It does things to a girl.”
“When isn’t your husband brooding?” Nikki teases her, but she looks at me and winks. “If one is good, two is better. Our husbands are the hot ones in the family.”
I glance at the door as I suck my lips in to keep from laughing. “How dressy will he be?”
“Their usual.” Four voices respond once more. It’s fucking uncanny.
“Tailored suit. Okay.” I turn back to the dresses.
“Mmm. Suit with a vest.” Nikki waggles her eyebrows at me. “If Sean looks good enough to—Well, I figured you might think something similar about Shane.”
I assess the dresses again and pick one. I slip into the stall and soon shed clothes I’d gladly never look at again and step into the dress. I come out, and the smiles on the girls’—I guess I already think of them like that, too—faces make me feel confident. Someone produces a pair of shoes that are the perfect size. I didn’t get to put my boots on until Angela tossed them at me once I was in the back of the DEA car. I’m glad to have something nice to match the dress. I stand in front of the mirror as Nikki and Ally do my makeup and hair. I don’t resemble the bedraggled woman who walked in here.
“Thank you.” I give each of them a quick hug.
“I’ll check how things are going.” Nikki heads out while we put the dresses back in the bag, and Ally and Mair put away the makeup.
“Fuck. I don’t have a ring for Shane.”
“Don’t worry about that. Da took care of it.” Ally looks like she knows way more than she’s saying.
“They’re ready.”
The girls surround me, so I can’t see much as we walk into the courtroom. It’s like some kind of choreographed show because suddenly, my dad’s next to me, and the girls are walking ahead of me. I can’t see Shane, but I see the other men lined up. From right to left, it’s Dillan, Cormac, Seamus, Finn, Sean, and then?—
Holeee mother.
The most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen is standing, smiling at me. His hair looks a little damp, like he ran a wet comb through it. He’s in a suit that proves he and his twin are identical because it fits him to a tee. I glance around, and I notice their dads and mine are in the same Kelly-green tie the guys are wearing. I hadn’t noticed before, but Dillan, Seamus, and Cormac were in coal gray suits. Now Shane and Sean are too. Ronan, Tate, and Kieran are all in a slightly lighter, more steel gray color. The nine of them with their varying shades of red hair are enough to stop traffic. I look at Breda, Saoirse, and Siobhan. Their red hair is darker than their husbands’ closer to strawberry blond. My mom’s black hair is the perfect contrast to their russet.
“I trust him, pumpkin.”
I look at my dad and nod. “So do I. For better or for worse in all of this, Shane is the only right choice.”
“If that changes, come home. You know I never talk about it, but don’t forget I met your mom when she patched me up after I nearly died during the mortar attack. I’m not a British Royal Marine anymore, but I have a long memory. Shane’s not the only one who’s skilled and protective.”
“I know, Dad. Thank you for understanding all of this. You and Mom.”
“We want you happy and safe. We see you can have both with Shane.”
“We’ll see.”
My dad lets go of my arm and stands next to my mom as the judge begins. My parents speak when it’s their turn to say they’re giving me away. They’re holding hands, and it makes me wonder if Shane and I will get to where they’re at. I look at his parents and the other older couples. They’re all the same.
My gaze meets Shane as I listen to him recite his vows. Then it’s my turn. We both pledge to love, and it saddens me. I know I’m there. But I don’t think he is. Yeah, he’s fond of me. We definitely enjoy fucking. That doesn’t change the reason we’re here. He’s marrying me to protect me, not because we love each other.
I can’t believe the ring he slips on my finger. It’s gorgeous. It’s an antique style, but the diamond must be at least three carets.
“It was my nana’s.”
How can I accept something so special?
Nikki taps my shoulder and hands me a man’s yellow gold band.
“That was my grandda’s on my da’s side.”
Shouldn’t a different couple have these? The couples who meant their pledges of devotion. It feels like we’re stealing these from them, even though Cormac’s the only guy left.
“You may kiss the bride.”
Shane slides his arms around my waist, and I glide my hands up his biceps until I encircle his neck with mine.
“No one has ever looked more beautiful than you, cailín . I’m the luckiest man alive because I get to be your husband.”
Before I can respond, he lowers his lips to mine. The rest of the world disappears. It’s the two of us. This kiss is unlike any I’ve had before. Not just with Shane, but ever. I’m completely lost to it. It’s perfect.
Neither of us moves to pull apart. It just keeps going until we’re breathless. He cups my jaw and kisses me again once we’ve taken a breath. I wrap my arms around his waist. I feel the gun I should have expected. I’m certain all the men have theirs. I don’t want to know how they got theirs past the metal detectors we all went through. It’s a stark push back toward reality, but he doesn’t let me tumble into it. He keeps kissing me.
No one rushes us, but I sense people walking away. He brushes his thumbs over my cheeks when we finally pull apart and look at each other.
“Husband.”
“Yes, Wife?”
“Just trying it out. I like it.”
“So do I. I think it suits me when you’re the one saying it.”
“Will you call me Wife again?”
“Wife, get used to hearing it. I like it as much as cailín .”
We gaze at each other, and something passes between us.
“Shane—”
I’m interrupted by Cormac hurrying toward us, saying my husband’s name at the same time as me.
“We have to get out of here. Joey spotted some of Jacek’s men in the parking lot.”
“What?” I jerk backwards as I turn panicked eyes up to Shane.
“Come on, little one. We have to get you and the other women out of here.”
“But I haven’t signed anything. It’s not legal if I don’t sign.”
I spin and search for the court clerk. I rush to her and snatch a pen from the desk.
“Where do I sign?”
“Congratulations. I wish you the best.”
“Thanks.”
It’s far too curt, but I’m tapping my toes and forcing myself not to tap the desk with the pen as she puts the papers in front of me. I could sign away my first born for all I know. I don’t read any of it closely. I just skim enough to know it’s the marriage license then the register.
“Thanks.” I mean it more this time.
Shane wraps his suit coat around me. I notice all the men have done the same with their wives. They’re herding us to the back of the building where there’s a larger parking lot. As we each step out, our husbands pull their guns with their right hands while using their left hands to shield their wives with the suit coats pulled up to hide us.
We’re almost to the cars when I recognize the popping sound.
We run.
No one slows until we make it to the vehicles. I try to look around, but the men have formed a circle around the women, and I can’t see past them. I’m disoriented as I hear a series of more shots, and none of the surrounding men fired them.
“Tate!”
I watch Siobhan push forward as her husband lurches to the side. His shirt’s blossoming red along his right side. She knocks him to the ground and tears the gun from his hand. Ally and my mom wiggle their way to Tate and roll him over as the men try to get Siobhan back into the circle. I watch her lift the gun; her left hand holds it with her right cupped around the bottom of her other hand. I watch her squeeze the trigger before my gaze follows her line of fire. I spot a man I recognize stagger backward. Then he disappears as he falls to the ground. Even from this distance, I can see the wound. She shot him dead center of his heart. She shifts to her right, and she fires again. This one lands through a man’s left cheekbone.
“Do you have a spare?” I whisper to Shane as he leans over me, but his upper body’s twisted away from me as he searches for other shooters.
“Left ankle.”
I shift, trying to reach his leg, but Mair and Dillan are in the way.
“Dillan give her mine.” Shane barks the command, then Dillan’s handing me a pistol butt to me.
“You do not expose yourself unless there’s no one left to shield you, Carrie. I’m serious.”
“And I’m seriously not letting one of them shoot my husband.”
He drops his voice as he glances down at me, but I’m pretty certain other people hear him. “Unless you want to start married life with an arse you can’t sit on for a week, stay put.”
“You can’t spank me if you’re dead.”
He stares at me for a long moment, our wills at battle once again. One day, I need to explain to Shane my resistance to telling him about my mission wasn’t to protect it or even to protect me. It was always about protecting him. That’s why we butt heads. It’s when we want to protect each other. But neither of us wants to accept that means our partner’s putting themselves in danger.
He cups my jaw in a punishing hold, not allowing me to look away. Our gazes lock while it’s quiet. No one’s shooting right now, but the urgency in the air doesn’t ease. We stare at each other as I shift the gun in my hand to have a better grip.
He brings his lips to mine. “Feck, I love you, Carrie.”
Then his kiss devours me. I fist his tie and yank down as I pull away.
“You have a nasty habit of kissing me before I can speak. I love you, too.”
Hardly the romantic moment I might have wished for, but then again, I proposed via text, and we got married in a courthouse.
“We have to get Tate out of here. He’s losing a lot of blood.” My mom barely finishes speaking when Siobhan’s string of curses would put a sailor to shame.
“Tatum, I’ll kill you if you die on me. You fecking promised me a trip to the Maldives. I want that fecking little pod room in the water with the hammock. You promised.”
“I know, cailín . Finish killing them, then we go home. I’ll make it up to you while I book the trip.”
I glance at Shane before looking at Dillan. Their faces are fuchsia, and I don’t think it’s from running. I look at the other guys my age, and they’re all blushing. Ronan and Kieran don’t seem to notice, and neither do Breda and Saoirse. It’s only now I notice they have guns, too. Their purses are open beside them with half the contents of both on the ground.
I’m unprepared for Breda to spin on her toes and drop her weight on top of Shane, who virtually crushes me as I land on my back.
“Mom!”
Shane tries to twist, but I see a well-manicured hand on his head push it down. Then I hear a gun fire right above us and a casing falls next to my right shoulder. Another three land beside it.
“Stay down, Shane. Do as your mother says.” Ronan is brooking no argument from his thirty-two-year-old son.
“Mom, I’m squashing Carrie.”
The weight lightens, but only enough for me to take a deep breath. I can’t move.
“Pumpkin?”
“Yes, Dad. I’m all right. You? Mom?”
I try to turn my head to see them because they’re now behind me.
“Fine.” It’s my mom. Thank God.
I hear her speaking quietly to Ally. They’re talking about keeping pressure on Tate’s wound while Ally packs it with her sweater.
“Ronan, Kieran, get your brother out of here. Take Meredith and Ally.”
“Siobhan—” Tate’s voice sounds reedy.
“Exactly. Can you just do as you’re told for once, mo fhíorghrá ?”
Shane whispers to me and explains. “My true love.”
The way he translates it. It makes me think…
“Ronan, do it. My sisters and I are fine. We’ll take care of the weans. Siobhan won’t stop yelling at him if you don’t.” Breda hasn’t moved from blocking Shane and me.
I sense the hesitation before Kiernan and Ronan crawl to their brother’s side because none of them want to leave their wives and children. Everyone knows the younger men won’t leave their wives, even though I’m certain Dillan wants to help his dad. I’m the only one trained to stand a chance defending us in this. Tate can’t move on his own, so he needs men strong enough to lift him. That means his brothers.
“Mair, take my spare.”
It surprises me how strong Tate’s voice suddenly sounds and that he’s telling his daughter-in-law to take his gun.
“Sean, we need to get the rifles.”
“Lina, stay down and let me cover you until we get there.”
Everyone shifts to fill the gaps as Kieran and Ronan pull, then lift Tate. My mom and Ally follow, and my dad goes with them. It shocks me to see he has a gun, too. What kind of fucked-up world have I entered?
Shane moves off me, and I sit up. Mair, Tiernan, and I are still inside the circle. Breda, Saoirse, and Siobhan are the ones most exposed. They’re shielding the rest of us. I watch Dillan take an elbow to his gut from Breda. All three of them will die before they let their children, nieces, and nephews be targets before them.
I roll onto my knees with Shane now facing away from me. I peer past him, scouting for movement. It’s quiet, but none of us believe it’s over.
“Seamus.”
Tiernan barks her husband’s name as I watch her raise her gun over Seamus’s shoulder before she pulls the trigger, letting off four shots in a row. Glass shatters, then a horn blares. I shift to look around Seamus, who’s easing his wife’s arms down.
“Let Lina in.”
Sean’s voice is a harsh whisper. Nikki—I thought that was her name—maybe Lina’s a Sean only thing like Carrie is only Shane’s—commando crawls between Seamus and Shane. She has a rifle set on a tripod. She tilts her head, bringing her cheek close to the weapon, so she can use the sights.
I watch her inhale before her finger squeezes the trigger with the practiced hand of someone who knows it doesn’t take as much force as people assume to fire a weapon. I watch my sister-in-law—the sniper—pick off men at a distance that practically defies the gun’s capabilities. She’s better than anyone I’ve ever seen. She spots men I couldn’t until I watch them fall.
“Come on, Carrie. We move now before we get pinned down and can’t get out.”
Shane helps me to my feet, and we’re all running again. I notice an SUV is gone. I spied it earlier among town cars, two limos, and another SUV. My parents, Ally, Ronan, Keiran, and Tate must have taken it.
Men run toward us, their guns drawn, but no one in my new family aims at them. One of them runs to Dillan, wrapping his arm around Mair as Dillan does the same.
“They circled us. We have a way out now, but that’s why we couldn’t come to you.”
“We know, Joey. Get Greta in the car with my mom. Take them home.”
“Dill—”
“No, Greta.”
Greta? Is that like Nikki’s Lina, and I’m Carrie?
“Dill—”
“No. You’re pregnant. You aren’t staying here.”
Mair squeaks. “Dillan.” She hisses his name.
“Woops. Now get in the fecking car.” He sounds utterly unrepentant. I guess that wasn’t something they were sharing yet.
“Mair, let’s go.” Siobhan pushes her daughter-in-law toward a town car.
“Only because you need to get to Tate, and it’s not about me anymore. Dillan, I swear.”
“I know. You aren’t raising our baby alone. I love you, cailín .”
I can’t keep up with what’s happening as I’m bundled into a limo with Breda, Nikki, Saoirse, and Tiernan. None of the men get into this one or any other.
“Shane!” I try to get out.
“Go, Carrie.”
“Shane!”
“Go to her.” Seamus calls out as he and Cormac step in front of Dillan.
My God. They’re not his cousins anymore—or maybe they’re not just his cousins anymore. They’re guarding their mob boss. I don’t doubt any of them would take a bullet for each other, but they’re purposely making themselves the target. I glance at Tiernan, who’s buried her face in her hands and won’t watch.
“Carrie, I need you to go with them. I need to know you’re safe. I can’t do this if I don’t.”
“I feel the same. Please, don’t make me go.”
“This won’t end here, Carrie. You can’t go where I likely will. I love you.”
He leans into the car and kisses me.
“I love you, too. What kind of frosting do you like?”
He grins. “Cream cheese, little one.”
Then he’s running after the rest of the guys.
Tiernan’s dry eyed when she looks at me. She studies me for a moment.
“I know the man my husband is. I saw him. I needed that, but I wouldn’t wish it on anyone else. Those memories will never leave me. He didn’t want me to see what he did, and Shane doesn’t want you to see that sort of thing either. Figure out a way to be okay with this because it doesn’t matter who you were before today. You’re a mob wife now.”