Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
The moment Block opened his door, Blak pushed past him with a frown on his face. “You still acting like a hoe?”
Block returned the frosty look. “Nigga, you the only one acting like a hoe. You need to get your mind right before you end up pissing me off.” Block was dead serious.
All the antics since Averi’s shooting were getting old.
He tried to be patient with his cousin, but the shit was starting to get on his nerves.
Not to mention, he’d gone three days without lean or pills before he folded.
The moment he tossed the Roxi into his mouth, Symphony’s voice rang in his ears.
He wasn’t a fucking addict. Or maybe he was.
Block was disgusted with his damn self. But that didn’t stop him from swallowing the pill.
As soon as he started to feel the effects of the narcotic, his mood instantly improved. If the medication didn’t do anything else, it numbed the emotions that he didn’t care to feel. Blak plopped down on the couch and scrubbed a hand down his face.
“This shit is crazy. How the hell does a female have me to the point where it’s hard to function? I’m not ever trying to feel this shit again.”
Block sat down and took a sip of the cognac that was in his cup.
Even if he didn’t admit it out loud, he felt the same way.
He wanted nothing more than to go to Symphony’s house and tell her he was sorry but as long as he was still abusing pills, there was no need to go bothering her.
He had seen her in action with her sister, and he hated that he was careless enough to let her find out about his habit.
Even when she was pissed off and snapping on him, Monique, and Blak, he could see the pain in her eyes.
All she wanted was for her sister to get it together.
How could he insert himself into her life knowing he was doing the same messed up thing as Monique?
“We just need to keep our head in the game and get to this money,” Block asserted. “We’re getting down to the wire. My pops will be home soon, and I’m out this shit. If you want it, I’m passing the torch to you, and you know you have to get it together if you decide to fill my shoes.”
“I know,” Blak agreed. “I’m good. I was fucked up, but I’m good now. Money is the motive. I’m gon’ let Averi live her life and do her. I don’t need to be in a relationship right now. I gotta stack this bread and get my mind right.”
It sounded good, and Block hoped he meant it.
He knew his cousin was in love with Averi.
Shit, he almost felt like he was in love with Symphony.
She’d been the best thing to happen to him in a minute, and it was too short-lived for his liking.
Maybe it just wasn’t the time for him to get in too deep with a woman.
Maybe once his father was home and he was out of the game, he’d be dealing with less stress, and it would be easier for him to let go of certain things.
That sounded too much like an excuse, and all he could do was shake his head at himself.
“You coming to Miami?” Block asked before taking another sip of cognac. Lethal had a match coming up, and Block planned to be there front row and center to support his brother.
“Hell yeah, I’m going to Miami. Matter fact, let me book my flight right now,” Blak removed his cell phone from his pocket.
Block was preaching to his cousin all while knowing that his head wasn’t one hundred percent in the game either.
“Have you talked to Symphony?”
“Nah, I haven’t.” Block responded dryly.
“Damn. I did want to apologize to her. I know that shit was out of pocket. At the end of the day, it’s still fuck Monique, but I didn’t have to slap her.”
Symphony wasn’t a subject that Block wanted to discuss.
When he didn’t respond, Blak figured that something had happened, and he didn’t probe.
If Block wanted to talk about it, he would.
Seeing as how his cousin had never introduced a woman to the family, he knew Block had to be feeling Symphony.
Whatever transpired between the two of them, Blak hoped it wasn’t because of his actions.
“I’m going to go scoop Mario later. Take him to the park to play some ball,” Blak announced making Block give a curt nod.
“Good shit.”
“You know that lil’ nigga still pouting because you’re mad at him.”
Running a hand over his waves, Block gave his cousin an indifferent look.
“He’ll be aight. Mario isn’t a little kid.
He knows the fuck shit he’s out here doing isn’t right.
He just doesn’t care, and if he doesn’t care then I don’t care.
I’m gon’ let him do him. When he gets his mind right, he can holla at me. ”
“I feel you on that. I think he’s starting to see the light. His moms told him if he gets in trouble one more time he’s getting out of her house.”
“Better get his lil’ ass a room ready at your crib then, ‘cus he’s for sure going to get in trouble again.”
Standing, Blak shook his head. “Man, Tech needs to hurry up and come home.”
“My sentiments exactly,” Block murmured.
After giving his cousin dap, Blak walked to the door and showed himself out.
Block stared at the remaining liquid in his glass and resisted the urge to close his eyes and take a nap.
He shouldn’t have mixed cognac with pain medication, but he did.
He was smart enough to know that whatever he was going through, he needed to figure it out and get a handle on it.
Being calm, relaxed, and numb felt great, but if it was at the expense of addiction, he was going to have to learn how to do without.
The same way he chastised Mario for using weed to cope with anxiety, he should have been telling himself the same thing about using drugs to cope with stress.
Especially drugs that could take him through mean withdrawals when he decided to quit.
Block didn’t think he was that far gone just yet, but since he started, he hadn’t gone more than three full days without either lean or prescription pills.
Picking up his glass, he drained the alcohol from it and stood up.
He had shit to do and money to make. All this sulking and trying to figure out life shit would have to wait.
“Shit!” Averi hissed as she hit her pinky toe on the corner of the bed. She’d been making it when the doorbell rang. Pain shot through her toe as she walked to the door with flaring nostrils.
Seeing a delivery man on the other side of the door holding a large vase filled with pink roses made her brows hike.
She forgot all about the pain as she smiled at him and signed for the flowers.
Taking them from him, Averi swallowed down a lump.
They could only be from one person. She was sick of the up and down shit with Blak.
Averi had never been good with back and forth.
Either they were on or they weren’t. All the extra stuff, she wasn’t beat for.
She had spent the last month waiting to miscarry, and it hadn’t happened.
If a bullet to her body couldn’t make her lose the baby, she refused to let stress do it.
The situation with Blak was something she wasn’t going to put too much time and energy into.
Her child came first. Averi placed the vase on the kitchen counter and pulled the envelope from the plastic holder.
I know you’re sick of my shit, ‘cus I’m sick of my shit. I miss you, Averi. On God I do. I just want to know what I have to do to make it right. I know the first step is growing the fuck up. – Justin.
Averi wasn’t sure why she smiled as she read his government name on the card. Justin that was who she needed. Blak could stay far away from her. It was then she realized that she didn’t want the street life anywhere near her child. Since Blak was working on growing up, he needed to start there.
The flowers were beautiful, but she wasn’t ready to call him and say thank you.
She didn’t care to see him or talk to him at the moment.
Averi went back into the bedroom to finish getting ready for the day.
One of the things she loved about her job was the flexibility.
Since being pregnant, she learned that her energy was highest in the morning after a long night’s rest. After she ate something and drank water, she could function for a good three hours before fatigue began to set in.
The plan was to go to the grocery store, start dinner, then get some work done before she took a nap.
Ten minutes later, she was dressed and ready to go. When Averi opened her door, she jumped at the presence on her porch. When she realized it was Blak, she placed one hand on her chest in an effort to calm her racing heart.
“Blak, the way you pop up at my home without permission is crazy. I’m going to need you to stop.” Boundaries had to be set.
Blak didn’t respond with words. Instead, he got down on one knee, and Averi’s heart started up again. She knew good and well he wasn’t about to do what she thought he was about to do. Averi could feel her heart pulsing in her throat.
“If these past few months have taught me anything it’s that I need to grow the fuck up.
I never been in love before. This shit was trial and error for real, but I miss you.
I’m sorry for everything that you went through because of me, and I want to make it up to you.
I’m sorry you lost the baby, and I need you to know that I’d do anything for you.
I want us to get married. I’m gon’ leave the streets and turn into a real square ass nigga.
And once I prove myself, maybe you’ll give me the honor of being your baby daddy. ”
Tears spilled over Averi’s lids. She wanted to close her door in Blak’s face, but she couldn’t.
He was rough around the edges, but he was trying.
She had to give him credit for that. He accepted accountability and knew what he needed to do different.
Averi appreciated the effort. Despite the thoughts running through her head, she couldn’t find words. They were tangled in her throat.
Blak wasn’t deterred. He flipped the lid on a box that she hadn’t even seen him holding, and the beautiful pear-shaped diamond made Averi’s stomach quake. The ring was absolutely stunning. Sniffling, she swiped tears from her cheek.
“When you say you’re going to leave the streets how soon do you mean?”
“Give me six months, and I promise, I’m done. My cousins already told me they’ll give me a job. Since both of them are in sports, I might start a sports management company. Hire one or two people that know what they’re doing and use the business to wash my drug money.”
She nodded, and he grinned while sliding the ring on her finger.
Blak stood and used his body to push Averi inside her home.
He cupped her face in his hands and tongued her down.
Something he’d been wanting to do for the longest time.
When he finally pulled back, Blak rested his forehead against hers.
“It’s embarrassing how sick you had a nigga. I couldn’t function not knowing where you were or how you were.”
“You don’t think people will find it strange that you were just standing at the alter with Naomi and now you’re engaged to me?”
“Fuck nosey ass people and what they think. It’s not any of their business.”
“I have to tell you something.” Averi cleared her throat and took a step back. As she inhaled a deep breath, she noticed the intense look on Blak’s face. He was expecting bad news.
Averi walked over to the couch and sat down. “I didn’t lose the baby.”
“Huh?” Blak looked confused.
“I didn’t lose the baby. I thought I would.
The doctor even tried to prepare me for the fact that I would.
Even though I didn’t get shot anywhere near my uterus, I lost a lot of blood, and my body went through a lot in a very early stage of my pregnancy.
Every day I went to the bathroom expecting to see blood.
It never came and the last time I went to the doctor, I heard the baby’s heartbeat. ”
Blak stood stumped. Averi still being pregnant had never even crossed his mind. Finding out that she hadn’t miscarried had him overwhelmed in a good way. Blak leaned against the wall and looked up at the ceiling. It was Averi’s turn to be confused. She had assumed that he’d be jumping for joy.
“Say something.”
“I feel like I’m either blessed or that God is setting me up for failure. I’m sure I’m not one of his favorites. Miracles don’t happen for people like me. I’m just kind of scared to get excited.”
His words made Averi chuckle. “Trust me, I felt the same way. Each day that I didn’t miscarry, I felt it was cruel. I didn’t want to carry my baby for weeks and months and then lose it. But I’m still pregnant. I can only assume that our baby is strong, and that he or she was meant to be here.”
Blak remained against the wall, but he turned his head to face Averi. “We can get married whenever you want to, but I’d like it if my uncle was there.”
“He’ll definitely be there because I’m not walking down anybody’s aisle pregnant.
The baby also has to be at least three months old before the wedding.
I have to give myself time enough to lose weight.
You’re also going to have to have private jet money because I’m not leaving my baby.
He or she is coming with us on the honeymoon, but I’m not taking a newborn in an airport full of germs.”
A lazy grin spread across Blak’s face. “Any more demands?”
“Yes.” Averi stood up and walked over to him.
“I’m not with the shits. There will be no talking to me crazy.
There will be no keeping crazy ass hours.
When the baby is born, you will be hands on.
I’m not doing everything alone. And if you cheat, that’s the ultimate deal breaker.
I’m not forgiving that shit not even one time so if you do cheat, she better be worth it. ”
Blak reached out and grabbed Averi’s arm. He pulled her into him and wrapped his arms around her body. “What else?” he asked with his face just inches from hers.
“That’s all I can think of right now.”
Happy to be back in her good graces, he leaned down and kissed her lips.
After weeks of turmoil, all was now right in his world.
Blak felt like he could breathe easier. Shit, he felt like he could conquer the day.
A good woman was all he needed to balance out the craziness.
He made a promise to himself to do whatever was necessary to make sure he was the man that his Uncle Tech had taught him to be.
It was time to get on his grown man shit.