24. Allegra
24
Allegra
W aking up wrapped around Bonnie seems like a lifetime ago, even though, in reality it’s been, roughly, only fourteen hours. My day is one long drag as I try to make it to the other end with my sanity in one piece.
I could be exaggerating. The docks always leave me feeling wound up. It’s the stress of never really knowing if I’m being set up, or if our contacts will suddenly want to renegotiate their contract and rates, or if the cargo is damaged or incorrect. There is nothing about visiting the docks that makes me happy, especially tonight when I had to deal with a newbie.
The only thing that got me through the ordeal was the thought of a glass of wine and my balcony. Bonnie zipped through my mind, but I shut that down. I can’t afford to want her. Last night and this morning were perfect—too perfect. We met under extreme circumstances and emotions have been high from day one. My mind refuses to let my soft heart think there could be anything real with her, even though this morning I still had a glimmer of hope, I now know it’s foolish.
When the dust settles, and Bonnie is back home, this will all be just a memory to her. Actually, I think that’s when she’ll come to understand she made a mistake. It hurts to think that, but it’s true. When her nerves and emotions are not calling the shots, she’ll be glad she got away from me. That’s why I focus on the bottle of wine instead of the woman who surprises me at every turn.
The villa is dark by the time I return home. I make a quick snack board and trudge upstairs. I can’t wait to let my hair down—literally. When I no longer have to present myself as the Ice Bitch, I think I’ll make a point of always leaving my hair down. No more headaches for me.
I pass Bonnie’s door and stop. Giggling and laughter vibrate through the wood, which makes me smile. It sounds like Bonnie, Kelley, and Pete are having a good time. I briefly wonder if she’s told them about last night. My ego swells because I know I showed her a good time.
Leaving them to what I can only presume is an adult slumber party, I slip into my room and lean against the door as it closes. A rush of air leaves my lungs as I let my frustration go with the breath. Settling the open bottle of wine on my balcony table, I perform the perfunctory bedtime routine of showering and dressing in silk pyjamas. I’ll sleep naked, but there are mosquitos outside and the little bastards love feasting on me.
As usual, the night sky doesn’t disappoint. I allow myself several minutes of deep breathing before taking my first sip of wine. I make sure I indulge in every drop. It’s the sort of ritual that helps me cast the day away. Listening to the ocean and the crickets, I settle into my seat. My body feels heavy from the stress of the day. There’s a sore spot on my lower back where my pistol rubbed through my shirt. I make a mental note to put it in the gun safe as soon as I go inside.
The call from Luke I received earlier in the day plays on my mind. He’s a good man and a loyal employee. I feel bad for exploiting his need for extra cash. But that’s what I do best, I suppose. A deep sigh leaves my tired body. I wonder if I can really take the Ferrante family out of the Mafiosi and go fully legit.
Isn’t being the top of the mob who we are? Can we ever really shed our old life and start anew? The optimistic side of me screams “yes”. That’s what we can and must do. But the other side that grew up around mobsters and criminals begs to differ. This way of life is ingrained in us. How long would it be until family members became restless and wanted something more? Something that gave them the thrill of old times? I’m a mess of contradictions and it’s pissing me off.
Being decisive is my strong suit. Yet right now, I feel so unsure. I’ve worked my fingers to the bone to make sure the family is set up for life, but that doesn’t mean it will work out the way I hope. Lorenzo is still the named head of the house. Until he formally steps aside, I’m living on a wing and a prayer. He could refuse to name me Donna after he learns of my plans to take us out of this life.
Dammit, I’m supposed to be unwinding and all I’m doing is getting myself more wound up with the unknown. Plus, I’ve gone off on a tangent. Luke’s call—that’s what I was focusing on. The call informed me Giani was in his bar and acting oddly. Instead of his usual garish and bullish behaviour, Luke told me he was distant and silent as his men drank and got rowdy.
Something is brewing, and I wish it would just fucking happen so I can react and end this. Bonnie, her parents, and her friends are nothing but prisoners here. Anyone can paint it up to look like a holiday in a luxury villa, but the truth is they are incarcerated and unable to leave the proximity of the villa for fear of an attack.
I want this finished—now. But Giani isn’t making a move—yet. I wonder if he’s waiting to see if I’ll grow complacent. He’s an opportunist, after all. But then I think of him sitting in Luke’s, plotting, because that’s exactly what I think he’s doing: sitting there silently, combing through ways to get to Bonnie and hurt Lorenzo.
What he doesn’t know, though, is he would be hurting me too. I cannot think of her getting hurt without a boiling rage exploding through my veins. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the days where I couldn’t wait to get rid of the irritating woman. It would be easier to deal with this if that were the case. When emotions are involved, lines get blurred and mistakes are made.
Tossing back the last of my wine, I plod to the bed more irritated than when I got home. I discard my pyjamas and slide under the sheets. The scent of Bonnie hits me like a truck and my heart squeezes, as does another part of my anatomy. I can’t help the way my body reacts.
The sheets will have to be stripped and cleaned first thing in the morning, because this is torture. More deep breathing gets me to a state where I might doze off. The light tapping on my door pulls me from the brink of sleep, and at first, I think I’m hearing things. But then it happens again.
Leaning up on my elbows, I stare at the door, hoping. Could it be?
“Enter,” I call. The door creaks open and a low light casts her in shadow. I’d know that silhouette anywhere.
Bonnie remains silent as she gently shuts the door behind her. I watch her with rapt attention, unable to speak lest I ruin the magic of this moment. It’s possibly a wonderful dream, and if so, I’d like to live in it a little while longer.
Moonlight drenches my room in a soft blue palette. Bonnie takes a step forward and brings her hands to her top. She unbuttons it slowly, taking her time to read my body language. The skirt is next, and then I’m lying there, looking at her in lace. My breath sits in my throat, refusing to move either way.
I should tell her this is a bad idea, and that last night was perfect; leave it there and hold on to the memory of that—but I can’t. I want her again. Drawing the sheet to one side, I open up my bed as an invitation. Bonnie unhooks her bra and slips down her thong.
She slides in, facing me. Her hand comes to my face, cupping my cheek. It’s delicate, like this moment. I can smell wine on her breath, but her eyes are clear. She’s probably had less than me and I’m no way near drunk.
“One more night,” she whispers.
The only answer I can give is with my mouth as it crashes into hers. I’m acting foolish, I know, but I’ll suffer the consequences later.
Her body melts into me as I clutch her hips with growing urgency. The fatigue and stress of the day are a distant memory as she gives herself to me. Rolling us over, I hover above, drinking her in. The moonlight casts us in shadow, but her eyes sparkle. If I didn’t know better, I’d say we’re in the middle of a Mob’s Seduction love scene. Unlike the characters, though, Bonnie and I can’t have the happily ever after. This is just an indulgence we both need to satisfy before we go back to our own worlds.
“Stay with me,” she says.
My mind snaps back to her with startling clarity. I have such a finite amount of time with her I refuse to lose a second of it to a wandering mind. My hips lower and roll. We’re both wet already; proof of our chemistry. She threads her hands through my hair, just like last night.
“Don’t close your eyes,” I say.
She bites her lip and stares at me, enough to feel it in my very soul.
We work together, rolling and thrusting. Her breasts rub against me as her body moves. I want to take her nipple in my mouth, but I can’t move. Looking down on her as she takes her pleasure is addictive. It’s not the most adventurous sex, but mio Dio , it feels sublime.
The sounds emanating from our joined bodies are obscene, only adding to the charged tension coiling between us. Sweat forms on my back as I grind and thrust deeper, causing us both to roll our eyes in pleasure. I’m close and Bonnie is too. I know because she’s panting hard and her hands grip my arse with a strength I didn’t know she possessed.
Her body shakes and her muscles tense. I feel the second she tips over and allow myself to follow blindly as we moan into each other’s necks. Pulses of electricity charge through every neuron as I succumb to her. Only when I’ve depleted every last bit of energy, do I collapse. Her arms snake around me and we lay there, breathing hard.
Aware I’m possibly squashing her, I slip to the side. My leg hitches over hers and my head rests on her shoulder. Should I say something, ask what this was, or just enjoy what I can get?
“Maybe I shouldn’t have come in here,” she begins. “I know it was selfish, but I couldn’t stay away, Allegra.”
I like is so much better now she says my name with softness rather than a scathing heat.
“I could have asked you to leave.”
“But you didn’t.”
“I don’t think I could have made the words leave my mouth.” It’s true.
She pulls me closer. “I don’t want to talk this to death. I’m tired of talking about everything within an inch of its life. Can we just enjoy each other while I’m here?”
It’s such a bad idea. One, or probably both, of us are heading for a world of hurt, but just like before, when she stood in front of me undressing, I am powerless to say no.
“We can do that… if you’re sure.” No doubt her fathers had something to say about last night. I hope this isn’t some silly reaction to their disapproval. That would cheapen what we have.
“I’m sure. I want you, Allegra. For as long as I can.”
I nod and kiss the skin above her breast. “Then let’s not waste any more time.”
If a few nights are all I have, then I’ll happily forego sleep to show her what she’s come to mean to me.
This mob queen is falling hard. What a shame the landing is going to break me.