20. LUNA
Luna
T ime passes so easily with Griffin that I don’t even notice when lunchtime rolls around until my stomach starts grumbling. Griffin falls into a fit of laughter as I just sit there, trying to get him to explain where the rest of chapter 23 is. He left me on a damn cliffhanger. He’s rewritten a few things but when he handed me another set of manuscript pages, I thought it was the entirety of the book. I should have checked.
“How was lunch, Noah?”
I clutch the device against my ear as I sag against the bed, my strength waning, “Help.”
“Be right there. Fuck, are you okay? What happened?”
Just before the darkness takes over, I mumble two words that I am sure will only make this scene look worse. “I’m sorry.”
Griffin hasn’t given me the rest of it so I’m here, angry as shit, hating that he left me in the scene where Noah’s brother betrays him. My heart hurts for a man that doesn’t exist while the man I’m in love with laughs at me.
“Fin!”
He stops immediately, his gaze softening as he pulls me into his lap. “It’s been a while since you’ve called me that. Fuck, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t laugh. Let’s go get lunch.” I snuggle into his hold, not desperate to leave this spot. Still, I need the rest of this shit. It’s good and it’s giving me something else to focus on.
“Only if you promise me the rest. I thought this was all of it. You gave me the entire Word doc but this-”
Griffin leans back into the lounge cushions, pulling me with him. I twist around to meet his gaze, wondering what’s going on behind his gray eyes. “Sorry. It’s what I’ve done with the last handful of editors, giving them pieces to see if they actually read it. Now, it’s just a habit. I don’t think you’d avoid reading it.”
I never really thought of Griffin and the insecurities that he must have. He has always been my piece of sunshine but even then, there were moments when I saw the real him, the man who didn’t believe he could. Seeing the vulnerability again has me leaning in for a kiss if only to show him that I see him. That I love him as he is.
My stomach rumbles again, ruining the moment. “Come on,” Griffin whispers against my lips. “Pretty sure Nova has lunch ready.”
“You’ve got a live-in butler as your boyfriend?” I ask jokingly as I climb off the lounge and grab my bag. I don’t feel the need to keep it pressed against my back but I still want it with me.
Griffin sports a silly smile as I walk after him. “He does a lot more than cooking, Luna.”
“Oh, I fucking bet.” I’ve fantasized catching them a few times now but that’s too far in the future to think about. We make it up the stairs and I frown at the lavish display spread across the kitchen island. Well, cold-cut sandwiches, beer, and homemade fries are lavish to me. I realize that the cold cut staring back at me is the same one Rome gave me the other night—which means I’ve eaten Nova’s food before I even met him.
Nova is currently facing the sink, his backside facing us and I can’t help but take in the man that caught Griffin’s attention. His arms dip low into the metal bin, washing off a dish, the muscles in his shoulders twisting and pulling beneath the tight black shirt. I swallow nervously and avert my gaze, lest he figure out that I’m staring as Griffin drags me to the bar stools.
“Did you do this for Casey?” I ask out of curiosity.
The lawyer twists around and the dark shade of blue staring at us brightens instantly. I want to believe it’s because we’re both here but I know it’s for Griffin. “Of course. I’d do this for anyone.”
“That’s why she probably thought she had a chance.” I don’t like cheapening some of the girls in our office but they’re merely Yana’s publicity stunt to gather media coverage for new releases on top of their editing gigs. There was no reason to send Casey out here when she hates anything other than city living, fast cars, and luxury. Which means that the editors being sent over here have to have been influenced by Yana somewhat.
I slide onto one of the stools and drop my bag to the floor, keeping Nova’s intense gaze. “Did you find anything?” I’m not even sure I want to know but the relief that could come from the truth has me asking anyway. The truth is better than running blind.
Nova’s entire demeanor softens. Even in the lounge clothes, he still has this dominating presence that both terrifies and intrigues me. Yet, in this moment, his aura feels warm, inviting, mysterious. Still terrifying but I want to lean into it rather than pull away. “Unfortunately, not. There’s a few names that have popped up but I don’t want to give you any guarantees until I have something concrete. I have a call to make which should give me a few more answers.”
I mull that over while taking a healthy bite of the sandwich in front of me. Is it mine? Who cares? They can make another one. I’m starving. “You aren’t bullshitting me, right?”
Nova clears his throat and tilts his head, his blue eyes flashing with interest. I’m sure he doesn’t get attitude like that from Griffin or maybe he does and they enjoy that kind of banter. “Angel, I wouldn’t bullshit you about something like this. I also won’t give you hope where there isn’t any.”
He doesn’t sugarcoat his words at all and I appreciate it. For too long, I’ve gotten half answers and mysteries to solve. I like that here I get the truth and nothing but. Nodding, I take another bite and chew slowly, sighing as my belly stops protesting. I feel guilty eating their food and drinking their coffee for free but they said to be selfish—this counts, right?
The lawyer rounds the island and places a delicate kiss on my head, his tattooed fingers brushing across my shoulder. “Take care of him for me. I should be back a bit later.” When I angle my chin toward him, a breathy sigh leaves his lips before he presses them to mine. A delicate caress and nothing more. “Soon, angel.”
His presence disappears and I feel bereft of his warmth until I look over and see Nova tipping Griffin’s chin up in similar fashion to the way I did. The difference is the way Griffin curls his fingers into Nova’s shirt, demanding more than he gave me. Nova gladly obliges, leaning down to take Griffin’s lips, his hands on either side of Griffin’s face. The kiss is dominant, rough, demanding as I watch their tongues dance. I hold my breath in fear that I might ruin the moment, leaning forward as I take in every bit of this embrace.
“Enjoy the show, angel? You’re drooling.”
I blink rapidly and frantically wipe my mouth, growling at Nova when I realize he’s joking. Kind of. I was mentally drooling. Nova throws me a grin before heading for the door, leaving the two of us alone.
“He did that on purpose, didn’t he?” I ask Griffin.
“He was saying goodbye.”
“ Fin. ”
“And trying to show you that it’s okay to take what you want. Nova does. Why can’t you?”
Griffin makes a good point even if I’m still coming to terms with it. I scarf down the rest of my lunch, pleasantly surprised that the fries are crisp and well-seasoned. A lawyer who cooks? I would have never guessed. Griffin watches me most of the time, chuckling every time I start choking and have to chug some of my beer. He reaches over, fingers dragging along my cheek which pulls me away from my meal.
“Fin?”
“It’s still so surreal that you’re here, I guess. I keep thinking I’ll wake up from a dream and you won’t be here.”
I can’t believe I didn’t realize how much my leaving would hurt him. My gaze dips to his food and he hasn’t eaten more than a few bites. “Come on. Bring your plate to the couch so we can be more comfortable.” He doesn’t move. “Griffin, I’m not going anywhere.” Not right now. He opens his mouth to call me on my bullshit. “Don’t. Let’s just enjoy right now, okay?”
“I’m not losing you again, Luna. Not after I’ve been in your arms again. Not after I’ve felt your pussy grip my cock like it’s trying to suck me in. Not after I’ve seen you smile again, seen you laugh, seen you happy. I know you don’t want to talk about it but I felt those goddamn scars and I hate it. Hate that you had to endure all that alone. Hate that you couldn’t just call me up because you thought that would bring them to my door.” Griffin stands and moves toward me, tugging me out of my seat and twisting me around so that my back is against the wall of cabinets across from the stove and sink. “While I wasn’t even sure you were alive, you were out there—surviving, running, trying to protect me.”
“Sunshine-” Tears let loose down my cheeks as I grip his shoulders, observing the torrent of emotion in his expression.
“I won’t lose you again. There’s no fucking need. Nova is working on it. Okay?” He gives me no chance to answer as his lips crash to mine, casing me in between him and the cabinets. Griffin’s hands wrap lightly around my neck, holding me there, demanding that I give in. There’s no use in fighting, anyway. After only a few days with these men, I can’t imagine a moment without them.
It’s too fast.
And it’s definitely going to be messy but it feels right.
My nails dig into his shoulders as the kiss deepens, Griffin furiously working the button on my pants to get rid of the fabric. “Fuck, I liked it better when you wore skirts. Fucking piece of shit jeans. You never used to wear them.” He growls out, roughly ripping down the zipper and then stripping me of my pants. My panties come with them, leaving me bare from the waist down. Cold air meets my pussy and I shiver, my gaze darting to the front door and then back to Griffin. “Should we move this to the bedroom?”
“Don’t get all shy on me now, precious. Rome’s already seen you and I already know what you want from Nova. Unless things have changed.” Griffin steps back, giving me the choice but I don’t want choices. I want him. Just to make sure he understands, I tug him forward by the waistband of his pants, thanking mother nature that he decided sweatpants were the name of the game. Eagerly, I reach inside and wrap my hand around his length, Griffin hissing through his teeth. “Things haven’t changed. Got it.”
He runs his hands around my back before slipping them down to my ass and hoisting me up against the wall, my legs wrapping around his waist. The angle is awkward as I try to unearth his cock and slip it inside, Griffin halting my movements.
“Babe, I need a condom.”
“I have the shot,” I whisper. I want him bare. I want to feel him inside of me, the way we used to. Griffin chuckles, shaking his head before he angles his head up to kiss me.
“Never could deny you anything, precious.”
That’s all it takes for him to help maneuver his cock and poise it at my entrance, every thrust running his length through my folds but not pushing inside. “Griffin!”
Laughter escapes him as he finally gives me what I want, thrusting up into my sex as I hold onto him, both of us blowing out a breathy sigh of relief. “You’re fucking perfect, Luna. I could stay here all day inside of you.” He runs his nose along my cheek before dipping his head into the crook of my neck, his hands perched on my waist. His cock twitches inside me, my pussy spasming around him.
“Move, Griffin. Fuck, I need you to move.”
My fingers sift into his hair as my head falls back against the wall, Griffin drawing out and then plunging back into my pussy. My back thumps against the wall but I like the bite of pain that comes with this position. The passion and need flowing from this man explodes with every thrust, his fingers digging into my waist as I bite back the scream threatening to echo through the kitchen.
“Let me hear you, precious. You robbed me of that for six years. Don’t hold back now,” Griffin grunts, moving one of his hands and placing it flat against the wall, using it as leverage to fuck me harder. Obeying his command, I let go, letting out the moans and cries that he draws from me. My back will be bruised tomorrow but for the first time in a while, they will be from something I’ve enjoyed, wanted, craved. I’ll be able to look in the mirror and see a woman who is cared for, who is wanted, despite the scars.
The familiar tingles begin in the pit of my stomach as I hold onto Griffin as if he’s my lifeline, another deep thrust throwing me over the edge as my body shudders with the force of my orgasm. My cry echoes through the kitchen, no doubt carrying down the stairs to anyone who’s in the office. The thought that Rome or Nova is working down there only heightens my pleasure, Griffin grunting through his orgasm seconds later. He fills me with his release, rocking his hips against mine as my pussy continues to milk him.
He doesn’t stop until I start pushing against his chest for a reprieve, Griffin wrapping his arms around my back as he pulls away from the wall.
“What—what are you doing? Why is that stupid grin on your face?”
“Because I’m going to fuck you again in the shower and then we’re going to buy a few dresses.” I wrap my arms around him, his cock still lodged inside of me, my pussy already hungry for more. “I need better access and with three guys-”
“ Two,” I correct him as he stalks over to his bedroom and heads for the attached bathroom.
“Three. Luna, precious, babe —it’s only a matter of time. We both know it.”
He’s having way too much fun and to be honest, I’m starting to really enjoy the thought of it as well. Griffin sets me down on the toilet and I clamp my legs together, whining as his cum starts seeping out of me. That’s one thing condoms make easier to deal with and yet feeling him inside of me without a barrier is worth every embarrassing second.
“Don’t you have a book to write? I haven’t even finished editing all of it. We don’t have time for shopping.”
Griffin plays with a few of the nozzles and then turns to face me as he strips, rather ungracefully, “Of course we do.”
This is the first time I’m seeing him completely naked and my lips part in surprise. Tattoos cover his chest, extending to his arms, and I don’t miss the metal bars through his nipples. He’s different from the Griffin I knew. When I reach out to touch him, Griffin prods forward, letting me run my fingers along the massive designs. “What was the point of all this? You never liked ink before.”
“I never lost anything that mattered.”
He says that as if he hadn’t lost his parents when he was younger. He says that as if I’m his entire world and that leaving him truly broke him. He says that as if I’m one of the only reasons he’s still holding it together.
The longer I trace the tattoos, the more I recognize patterns and pictures in the abstract collage. “Wait—Griffin-”
Griffin grabs my wrist, raising my hand to the tattoo just below his collarbone. “Nova showed me many ways to deal with my grief, said that writing it all down so that I didn’t forget but could move on would help. I didn’t want to forget, not for a moment, Luna. I memorialized everything right here. And here. And here.” He drags my hand along his torso, pointing to different pieces I recognize.
My first art project of what our heartbeats would look like together. It was a terrible rendition of jagged lines and hearts all over. Anyone who’s heartbeat looked like that would be dead.
Griffin’s first F that I morphed into a horrid picture of Spongebob that landed us both in detention.
My favorite flower.
His favorite Shakespearean saying.
For where thou art, there is the world itself, With every several pleasure in the world, And where thou art not, desolation
We used to joke how desperate it sounded but it was never a joke, was it? My fingers stutter over words written in a handwriting all too familiar. They sit on his waist, my own words from six years ago staring back at me. You’ll always be my sunshine. And just below it in his handwriting, And you’ll always be mine.
A sob tears from my throat, Griffin still holding onto my wrist. “There’s no one else but you, Luna. There wasn’t. Nova saved me from myself.” He drops to his knees, crouching in front of me before his hands fall to my upper thighs, thumbs playing with the hem of my shirt. There’s a silent question in his movement and I hesitate. I don’t want these men to see the imperfect woman in front of them. The moments with them have been fun, flirty, and passionate.
That will change when they see everything else.
But this is Griffin.
I raise my arms as he slowly pulls off my shirt and then I reach behind me to undo the clasp of my bra so that I’m completely bare before him. Silence filters between us and I wrap my arms around my chest, ashamed of the woman I’ve brought back to him.
“Don’t hide from me, Luna. You are still the woman I fell in love with. Regardless of the scars and demons you try to keep from me. Regardless of how this gorgeous body has changed,” he purrs as his hands slide up my waist, squeezing the extra skin there. I’ve never been small but copious amounts of junk food and constant stress haven’t helped me lose any pounds. “Regardless of if you wear your hair up or down. Regardless of if you wear makeup or don’t. Luna, you will always be precious to me.” His hands continue to rise as they caress my breasts, forcing me to drop my arms.
My back arches as he leans forward, his lips closing in on one of the sensitive nubs as his other hand squeezes and massages my other breast. A sigh falls from my lips as I sit there, Griffin sucking on my tit until he’s satisfied and gives the other one the same treatment.
“Griffin-”
“Let me see you, Luna. Let me see the woman I fell in love with.”
I meet his gaze, those stormy gray eyes hoping that I’ll grant him this one thing. And how can I deny him that when he looks at me like that? A man who looks at me like I’m the most precious thing in the universe?
I would give him everything.
So I do. With a mere nod. A slow smile spreads across Griffin’s lips as he presses a quick kiss to the bridge of my nose and then helps me into the shower.