28. LUNA
Luna
L ast night was perfect, cuddled into Griffin’s chest while Nova held him and Rome snuggled up to my backside. It was everything I needed after my freakout which is terrifying. Unable to handle those emotions, I untangled myself from them the moment I could. Nova wanted to promise me so much last night. It was on the tip of his tongue. He told me not to run but how can I stay when I know that my troubles are about to fall in their laps?
They never asked for this.
I tiptoe across the living room and snatch up my bag, grimacing when the only thing I have to slip on is one of the dresses we bought in Red Brook. It’ll do for the short walk to Ms. Elrod’s. I won’t be staying long, anyway. Besides, running is what I do best.
Taking one last glance at the men whom I’ve all but given my heart to, I scamper down the steps and out the door before speeding to the bed and breakfast. It’s absolutely stupid to be doing this at night when I know that the suited goons are in town, not to mention my father but I’ll feel better locked in the little room, away from the men I love.
I’ve been running for so long that I’ve forgotten how to lean.
Sleep escapes me as I pull out Griffin’s manuscript and decide to focus on that instead. I’ll leave when it’s daylight so that I have a smaller chance of getting caught. My dark thoughts get the better of me, my body hot and uncomfortable until I’m yanking off my dress and chucking it. It marginally helps as I continue working, trying to ignore the growing panic in my chest. The hours pass by, both Rome and Griffin spam-calling and texting to figure out where I disappeared to. It isn’t until Rome threatens to call the police that I finally pick up just after nine am.
“Sweetheart, what the fuck?” He’s not sugarcoating it, is he? “I thought last night—I think you broke Griffin.”
“I can’t stay. They’re here! And what if they come after you? I’ll… I’ll finish the manuscript. I’m almost done and I don’t need to be in Spring Haven for this. I won’t let them get to you.”
“Running isn’t going to help, sweetheart. Just promise me you’re not leaving.”
I don’t respond because I can’t promise that. I won’t. There’s some shuffling on the other line before Nova’s voice filters through the earpiece. “Angel, I’m giving you one hour. One hour to deal with those emotions before I come to your door. One hour for you to explain why you ran even though you asked me last night what we needed, what I needed. One hour for you to decide what you truly want because fuck if I’ll let you break Griffin’s heart again. One hour, Luna. That’s all you get.” He ends the call and I sag against the mattress, realizing how much damage I’ve done.
I left Griffin. Again. He wasn’t able to say goodbye and this time, I didn’t even fucking leave a letter. I just… left. I wrap myself up tight, rocking myself back and forth. How can they still want me after I promised not to leave? Time gets away from me again and I only know that it’s been an hour as my door swings open, revealing a furious Nova. He steps inside, his jaw pulled tight, the sleeves of his muscle shirt rolled up to reveal those intrinsic tattoos. I swallow nervously, scooting back on the mattress as if that will save me from the fire burning in his expression.
It takes me a few moments to realize that he’s not entirely looking at me so much as the disarray that I’m in. Last night was a beautiful moment between us and then the four of us and I ruined it. Now, I’m here with Griffin’s pages strewn across the bed, the dress thrown halfway across the room. Which means he can see me, fully, as I truly am.
“I gave you one hour, Luna.” His voice is rough and scratchy, much different from the soothing one he used on me yesterday. A conversation like this, though, requires clothes. I scramble from the bed and slip back into my dress just as Nova closes the door behind him and approaches the bed. He grabs the chair by the vanity and pulls it close so that I’m trapped between the mattress and the sliver of room on the other side. “Explain. Yesterday you needed my patience. Today, I need answers. I won’t be gentle, Luna.”
“I just-”
“Be very careful of the words that come out of your mouth.”
“I’ve gotten really good at running, okay?” I throw out, unsure why he doesn’t understand. “It’s all I know. I want to believe all of those promises you three have told me but I can’t, not really. Not until all this is over with. You don’t understand, Nova. I’ve tried having more than a one-night stand or a friend and then they would show up, absolutely terrifying everyone I know. They’ve started calling my job.”
Nova snorts, shaking his head. “So, you’ll leave us behind because you don’t want to hurt us? What about Griffin? Can’t you see how much this already hurt him the first time? How much it’s hurting him again?” He rises to his feet and stalks around the bed, casing me in against the wall until there’s less than an inch between us. “That piece of sunshine—as you call him—woke up in a dead panic when he realized you were gone. He’s not gone outside much in six years because of how you left. I know he probably told you some bullshit about being recognized or not needing to leave the house. Griffin rarely leaves because there’s nothing out there for him. The reason for him to enjoy Spring Haven or Red Brook or wherever else left when you did. He feels more comfortable in his space because you left. I know why, Luna. But that doesn’t make it any easier to watch him fall apart.”
I’m not sure I can fix this. It hasn’t even been a week and I’ve already started pulling them apart. I should have just had my closure, worked on the manuscript, and left.
“And I know what you’re thinking. That none of this is worth it.” Nova slaps a hand against the wall beside my head, the other moving to cup my cheek as he forces me to meet the storm brewing in those dark blues of his eyes. “But it is. It’s all worth it. God, I want to be selfish with you, to feel you, to truly hold you while you scream my name so that you forget all about leaving. However, I can’t. Not when you are his heart and soul. Not when you are the very air that he breathes. You have been the only one he’s loved since you left and I will not watch you take that from him.”
My heart constricts at the pain lingering in Nova’s eyes, my hands instinctively moving to his chest as if I could steal some of it away. “I want to be selfish,” I breathe. I don’t deserve this but I rise up on my tiptoes, brushing my lips against his.
“You quiet the demons in my head, angel. I hate that you are everything I need just as he needs you.”
"Why?" Tears surface and I struggle to hold them in. I don't want to show Nova how much he truly affects me, how much I need him. Nova places a gentle kiss on my forehead before pulling away and heading for the door, leaving me more confused than before.
I run after him and stop him seconds before getting outside. I pull him off to a corner. “Why are you saying those things? Are you trying to fucking confuse me?”
“I’m telling you that you have to make a choice. Standing between the three of us, wanting to run, to save us all. That’s your burden to bear but we’re trying to ease that. However, I won’t start something with you if tomorrow you might be gone. I’m not as strong as I look and at least one of us will have to be the shoulder to cry on. You have the power to break us, Luna and that’s what terrifies me.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I confess. Before I spoke to Rome, I thought running was the best option. Now? Not a chance. I’ll have to weather my fears and stay put—not just because I want to. Not because Nova has all but told me that these three men need me but because I need them just as much.
“No?”
“Nova, dammit. I’m terrified. Of everything. I have been for a while. Nothing makes sense and everything is happening too fast, happiness just dangling right out of reach. I want normal. I crave it but I can’t have it. Not with everything going on and now my father is in town and they-”
Nova closes the distance between us again. “You keep using the same excuses. Try a different one. Either you’re ready to try or you’re not. There’s no gray area. There’s no hanging out on the fence. I will help you either way, Luna but you don’t get to strangle our hearts in a vice grip and yank them from our chest without me saying something about it.”
He’s right and I hate that he’s right.
My shoulders fall as I heave a sigh. Apologizing again won’t mean anything. I already need to face Griffin after leaving him again and that hurts more than anything else.
“Let’s go on a drive. I want to tell you something.”
I frown. “Are you kidnapping me?”
“Is that something you’re into?”
Nova leans back, raising a brow as he waits for me to decide. Staying here is only going to further perpetuate my fears and make me want to run, not to mention that I’d rather be with these men than alone anyway. I follow Nova to the lobby after gathering up the manuscript and my backpack, throwing Ms. Elrod a timid wave when she congratulates me on my marriage.
He points to my little Toyota that hasn’t moved since we arrived and I gladly fish around in my bag for the keys to hand to him. The drive is uncomfortably silent as I press myself against the door, watching the Spring Haven I used to know pass me by. After the small strip of businesses, there are the little plots of land I used to weave through to get home.
Houses now sit on each little square, happiness exploding from the inside out. Bright yellows, blues, and greens cover each one. Duller colors adorn some of the older houses, my childhood home screaming at me as we pass it.
I’m not sure what I expected to see but the rundown, falling-apart structure with yellow caution tape and boarded-up windows isn’t what I expected. My mother has been a distant thought since I left Spring Haven but knowing that that’s how my childhood ended—an empty home deteriorating into nothing gives me some vindication for the woman she turned out to be.
Nova pulls up to the wharf at the edge of Spring Haven fifteen minutes later, acres of empty fields to my right. I remember there being a small forest here but all of that has since disappeared.
“Why did you bring me out here?” A twinge of panic settles in that Nova really could be one of the suited goons but I squash that. It’s not possible.
“Because I want to show you rather than just tell you what I’ve found. I want to talk to you outside of your comfort zone, where there’s nothing else to influence you. Where if I gave you the keys, you can make your own choice.” He steps out of the car and I follow suit, Nova handing me the keys when he walks around the hood. I stare at the metal in my outstretched hand, hating the choice that he’s giving me. I don’t want it but he needs my words and my actions just as much as I need his. “Luna, there’s a few things about Paula’s Agency that you should know.”
My expression sours as he talks about an agency that strikes up illegal loans with those who don’t know any better. They have their hand in every facet of life, ensuring that they get their returns, sometimes 8 or 900% of the original amount. There’s a likelihood my father only pulled out $50-60,000 and then it just squirreled away from him.
Worse, Paula Agency is one of the investors working tirelessly to buy this plot of land. It’s tied up in a legal battle now, but it wasn’t before someone cleared out the forest, harming Spring Haven’s peaceful balance that brought a little bit of life to the town. Anyone who owns this part of Spring Haven essentially holds the heart of this place. Depending on what they build, they’ll push out the smaller businesses and draw in bigger crowds from Red Brook. The larger investors that have expressed their interest all want the same thing—to create commercialized businesses.
Spring Haven has never needed to be a commodity but should this piece of land fall into the wrong hands, hands like Paula’s Agency, the consequences following would destroy what this town used to be. I’m not sure how many of the locals would remain here.
“So you think it’s all connected?” I ask. This doesn’t make sense. My father borrowed money from someone trying to buy up land in Spring Haven. How did this get so out of hand?
“Yes. And I think the reason they’re so adamant about recouping the money is to overwhelm any investors, the town council, and whoever else so that they can buy. Spring Haven could use the money but they also don’t want corporate greed to take over what’s left of this place. It’s a delicate balance.”
The chill air wraps around me, a shiver running down my spine. “This sounds like a bad movie, Nova. And if you’re telling me this so I don’t want to run, you’re not doing a great job.” A flash of uncertainty runs through his expression so I add, “I’m not running. I’m just saying.”
“I’m trying to help you understand that there’s more to this than just an agency recouping its losses from a family member of the loan. I also want to tell you that I think there’s several people involved that have little to do with Paula’s Agency that have some stake in that loan. How or why, I have no clue.”
My eyes widen at the many instances over the years when the aura around the suited goons changed. Some threatened me with guns. Others just popped up and lingered. A few would disguise themselves as hotel staff or as a patron before catching my eye. The different modes terrified me because I never knew who I could trust.
If what Nova is saying is true, it means that there’s a likelihood that I’ve been running from more than just Paula’s Agency.
“The guns?” I ask, not giving Nova much to work with.
His face contorts with shock and I realize I just told him what kind of danger I’ve been in. Whoops. “You’ve had guns pointed at you? Jesus, Luna. No, Paula’s Agency uses scare tactics for loans. They want to make you feel like you have no way out until either you work for them or pay everything back. Weapons aren’t usually their go-to.”
“Great.”
I chew on my bottom lip, organizing my thoughts on the matter. I don’t even know who I’m running from anymore, which means it makes even more sense to stay. Shuffling closer to Nova, I sigh when he wraps his arms around me, rocking me back and forth as we stand there. No words have to be exchanged and I promise myself that I won’t run again.
Nova shifts and pulls out his phone, throwing me a tight smile when he answers it on speakerphone. Griffin’s panicked voice filters through. “Is she okay? Do you have Luna? Is she here or did she leave?”
“I’m sorry, Fin. I’m so sorry.” I weather my voice, refusing to break down. I don’t deserve these tears.
“Fuck, precious. I thought you left. And I didn’t get to say goodbye. Again. You’re okay, though? Not hurt? Are you coming back to us? I need to see you.” He continues rambling and Nova makes sure to catch my gaze to show me what I’ve broken.
“I’m coming, Fin. Fifteen minutes, tops.”
Nova calms Griffin down long enough to say goodbye before releasing me. “I’m not asking you to trust me, Luna. I’m asking you to give us a chance to protect you before you run again.”
“And when it fails?” It always fails. Never in six years have I found a reprieve and I don’t expect one now.
Nova moves to the passenger side. “ If it fails, I won’t hold onto you.” He slides in, his words taking a moment to register.
I climb into the driver’s seat, twisting to face him. “I know you’re trying to assuage my fears but I think you just broke my heart. You just said that if it fails you won’t fight for me, Nova."
“And now you know how it feels. You can not have this both ways, Luna. Either you fight with everything you have to stay or you hang on the damn fence and wait for the wind to blow you either way. However, when it inevitably blows onto our side, I won’t be waiting for you. I deal in assurances and you are one of those that I know I want. What do you want?”
He’s repeating himself from before he drove me out here. The difference is that he’s telling me if I continue making them wait, they won’t be here when I ultimately make a decision. It’s not fair to Nova or Griffin or Rome to put them through this without giving them assurances.
“You, all of you.”
“Then stay. ” This time when he says it, it’s not a suggestion. It’s a command. Stay or else I lose everything. I manage a nod and turn on the car before speeding down the road to unite with the other two. Nova reaches across the console and places a firm hand on my thigh. “You focus on Griffin and making sure Yana doesn’t completely derail this book’s launch with her newest marketing tactic while I work on everything else.”
I snort. “Yana isn’t going to derail it. She’s just going to make a mess of our personal lives.” I’m feeling a little less lost and out of control, although I know my tendency to run hasn’t just vanished. I just have more of an incentive to stay. Focusing on that, I speed a little faster toward the apartment.