Chapter Two #2
Yet when it came to finding a soulmate, it seemed as though she was as meandering as them. The one guy she’d hoped might be the soulmate her heart sought had turned out to be a disaster and so she had hidden away behind a silly secret crush.
How did that begin to make sense? There was a life out there waiting to be lived. She thought of Colin asking her out and wondered now whether she should have taken him up on his offer.
‘Just what the doctor ordered,’ Raffaele said as soon as she returned to his office with the two mugs of coffee.
Erin didn’t say anything but she felt a surge of anger that all this tortured self-analysis had been instigated by her boss and the way he was encroaching on her private terrain.
‘You’re not completely helpless, Raffaele,’ she said a little more acidly than she’d intended. ‘You know how to make a cup of coffee for yourself. You don’t need to wait until I come.’
‘Bravo. I like it!’ Raffaele came over and took a mug from her hands, but didn’t draw away, a wicked glint in his eyes. As always, he towered over her.
‘What? What do you like?’ Up close like this, Erin could see the deep blue of his eyes as he stared at her with satisfaction.
She could smell the vaguely woody scent of whatever cologne he was wearing.
Her heart picked up speed as she stared, doing her best not to flinch away from the directness of his gaze.
‘I like hearing you really exercise your voice.’
‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’
‘You’re standing up for yourself!’
‘I didn’t think I was ever not standing up for myself, Raffaele. I’ve always told you what I thought when I haven’t agreed with something you’ve said…or done.’
‘Ah,’ he returned, ‘but only when it came to work. And naturally, whilst I’ve appreciated everything you’ve had to say, it’s heart-warming to hear you find your voice when you challenge me on a more personal level.’ He nodded to the chair in front of his desk, and Erin obediently sat down.
‘You told me that I wasn’t allowed to have opinions on your private life, Raffaele. Or have you forgotten that you said that?’
‘That’s in a different category,’ he said smoothly.
He still hadn’t sat or moved away, so that Erin had to crane her neck to stare up at him.
‘What I’m talking about here is you being authentic when you rebut something you don’t like.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you’re excused from making my coffee.
On a practical level, you’re a much better coffee maker than I am. ’
He finally moved to sit back down in his swivel chair and Erin felt her breath return and her pulse normalise.
So he welcomed her voice.
Well, she thought, this might actually work for her.
If she felt free to answer back to him, then surely it would break the spell he seemed to exert over her?
Was he right? Was a more easy-going, well-rounded relationship between them something that was desirable?
Had she put Raffaele—or his attractiveness, at least—on some sort of pedestal and fed into that unhealthy addiction by shying away from him?
Like some kind of adolescent unrequited crush?
Something easy, something safe she could retreat behind because, after her break-up all those years ago, she was scared of risking her heart with another man?
Scared and, unlike so many girls her age, not petrified of entering her thirties without a guy by her side and so in no rush to fix the situation by actually going on dates?
‘So,’ Raffaele continued, looking at her over the rim of his cup as he sipped the freshly brewed coffee. ‘No, no, no…don’t get out the laptop just yet. Didn’t I just tell you that I’m not having a hedge fund moment? And don’t look so alarmed. I haven’t suddenly taken leave of my senses.’
The dark, semi-sexy, lazy charm flowed around her and she was more conscious of it than she usually was because they weren’t relating to one another in the usual way.
She stared at the space just over his shoulder but it was still far too easy to take in the white shirt, cuffs rolled up to the elbows, the strong, bronzed forearms, the dark hair curling around the strap of his dull matte silver watch strap, the sharp contours of his beautiful aristocratic face.
For a second she thought of her own appearance, regular features, her straight chestnut-brown hair, green eyes, slender and neat and serious. If he was an eagle, she was a sparrow.
‘I had no idea there were times when you weren’t thinking about hedge funds or investments or company takeovers or exciting mergers.’ Erin liked the way this sudden openness between them felt because it gave her a chance to be sarcastic, to gently take him down a notch or two.
‘I hope you’re not too disappointed.’
‘I’m surprised,’ she said honestly. ‘You’re such a workaholic.’
‘But I’m not really, am I? You of all people should know that, considering you’ve only recently staged a rebellion at buying goodbye gifts for the women I go out with.’
Erin flushed.
‘I just want to say at this point,’ Raffaele murmured soothingly, ‘how glad I am that you finally got it together to tell me how you feel about buying those trinkets for my ex-girlfriends. I admit that sermonizing about my relationships is out of bounds, but buying presents? Definitely good of you to remind me that that’s not in your remit. ’
‘Not exactly trinkets, Raffaele.’
Raffaele shrugged. ‘They are to me,’ he said kindly. ‘Or maybe a better way of putting it is… I may not commit to permanent relationships, but when they’re over, it’s my way of thanking the women for the time they’ve spent with me and the enjoyment they’ve brought to my life.’
‘That’s very noble,’ Erin said politely, and Raffaele grinned.
‘I’ve never been called noble before but I’m more than happy to run with that. But now, moving on to other things…’
‘Yes!’
Back to work, Erin thought with relief. Relating to her boss like this was out of her comfort zone and she was keen to return to where she was more sure-footed.
Even if it made sense to build a more three-dimensional relationship with him, this was an early stage and she would need time to get used to the subtle shift in their relationship.
Gradually.
She could feed him small sound bites on a day-to-day basis, always with the proviso that she didn’t have to confide any more than she felt was necessary, however much his curiosity might have been piqued.
A Pandora’s box hadn’t been opened. Far from it.
She felt much better after this bracing internal pep talk. ‘Do you want me to prioritise the emails that came in at the end of last week? I know you’ve scanned them all, but there are quite a few I can handle and dispatch myself. You can sign them off by the time I’m ready to leave this evening.’
Raffaele looked at Erin from under his lashes for a few seconds in thoughtful silence.
She looked exactly the same as she did most days, bar slight variations in colour schemes.
Neat skirt, grey, neat short-sleeved shirt, pink with fine white stripes, neat black flats, hair glossy and tucked behind her ears, secured on either side with tortoiseshell clips, and yet the more he looked, the more intensely pretty she seemed.
Those delicate features and the huge hazel eyes that were so good at revealing nothing whatsoever.
Or had been, until two days ago. That change had been very satisfying indeed.
Outside it was a balmy summer day but where everyone else her age might have turned up the volume on colour, dusted off the cobwebs and brought out the flowered dresses, Erin was as background as she always strove to be except…
She wasn’t really background at all, was she?
Raffaele felt the kick of curiosity about her again, this time a little harder.
An internal alarm rang distantly, but it was easy to ignore.
He was well practised when it came to self-control.
This intense curiosity might jar a little because it was out of the ordinary but when it came to women, he was immune to being thrown off course.
He waved aside her enthusiastically professional response. ‘Sure. Of course I’ll sign off all those emails and by the way, much appreciation for your diligence on the weekend.’
‘Is there something more important that you’d like me to do? Before I finish up what I started working on on Friday?’ she asked.
‘Now that you mention it…’
‘Yes?’
‘Remember my little drinks party on Saturday?’ It was a provocative introduction to what he wanted to say, and Raffaele was amused at the way she unconsciously stiffened.
Yep, she certainly remembered it and he knew why—it was the first time she’d opened up to him about anything. It had made him realise, with surprise just how work oriented their conversations always were and just how cleverly she had always avoided mentioning anything significant about herself.
Her reticence, he now thought with a certain amount of admiration, was a refreshing change from women who were always keen to tell him anything he wanted to know about themselves.
He decided on the spot that a closed book could be a lot more alluring.
Her cheeks were pink and she’d lowered her eyes and was twiddling her fingers on her lap.
‘Remember I mentioned a conversation I had with Archer?’ He rescued her from her discomfort and saw her breathe a sigh of relief.
‘I can’t remember who Archer was, I’m afraid.’
‘Tall guy…grey hair and a lot of it…some might call it a mane…much younger wife with enough jewellery to open a store.’
Erin smiled and Raffaele realised how much he liked to see her smile. They were a rare sight, and lit up her face in a way that was infectious.
‘She did jangle quite a bit. The upside of which was that you always had fair warning of her approach. Sorry, very catty remark.’