Chapter Seven #3
Her ribs squeezed tight. ‘And he had affairs. I found that out when I was fourteen and I saw him kissing this woman on the street.’
‘Did you know her?’ There was an edge to his voice, and she felt her chest tighten because she knew it was disgust at her father’s behaviour. But he wanted the truth.
She shook her head. ‘I didn’t know any of them, but I knew when he was seeing someone because my mom—’
There was a lump in her throat now that made it hard to speak. ‘She has lupus. When she’s stressed, it flares up.’
‘Do you need money?’
She felt a stab of pain and disappointment that was entirely disproportionate. But was it really a surprise that Antaeus focused on the financial chaos rather than the emotional devastation of her story?
She shook her head. ‘It took me nearly two years, but his debts are paid.’
‘Did he ever ask you for money?’
She hesitated, then nodded. ‘That’s why I didn’t expand the business. I told the directors and the shareholders that it was because I wanted our size to reflect our focus on the clients. Keep it small, select. But the truth is that I knew if it grew, Dad would start asking.’
There was a pause, and then he said slowly, as if it was hard to form the question, ‘What about the ex? You said he took your business.’
His voice sounded different now, taut, as if he was invested in her answer.
‘His name was Gray. I don’t go on many dates.
I suppose, because of my dad, I don’t find it easy to trust men, but I thought he was different.
We met at an auction of promises. He’d pledged to do some pro bono PR work for the winning bidder’s charity of choice.
I’d just set up my first business. Cassandra Appleton Associates.
I wanted to use my name because I knew people would respond to it, trust me because I was one of them.
And I trusted Gray. So, when he suggested working with me, I agreed. And then we started dating.’
She breathed in shakily. ‘I shouldn’t have trusted him. He took half my clients.’
‘That’s illegal. You could go after him. I could get my lawyers—’
‘What difference would that make? I’m not like that, like you. I don’t want to punish him.’
The silence between them twisted tight. ‘Why? Do you still have feelings for him?’
‘No, I just want to forget him.’
‘What happened to the business?’
‘I wound it up. I had to. I couldn’t afford to pay my staff. That was the worst part, letting them go.’ Her voice stumbled, and his hand twitched as if he wanted to reach out and steady her. ‘I felt like my name wasn’t mine. He took that from me. Nobody should do that.’
She could feel Antaeus’s eyes on her face, the stiffness in his shoulders as if he was having to restrain himself.
‘Why didn’t you sell the house in New York when you first got wind that someone was buying up shares in Trojan Princess? Your mother doesn’t need the space—’
‘I can’t sell the house. I won’t sell it. It’s my mom’s home. For the first time, she feels safe, and she’s been through so much already. I can’t take that from her, and I won’t.’
That was what broke her. Because she had considered it.
Now she cried, proper wrenching sobs that escalated exponentially until she could no longer hear the crickets and it hurt to breathe, to be. She couldn’t imagine how or when the ache in her chest would stop.
But then Antaeus was pulling her against him, his hand in her hair, speaking softly in Greek, words she couldn’t understand, but his voice grounded her. As the minutes passed, the steady thrum of his heart slowly coaxed the frantic pounding of her own heart to a calmer pace.
She felt him shift against the mattress.
Then he was lifting her onto his lap, anchoring her closer with her arms. And he was an anchor, a refuge against the guilt and the loneliness that had been threatening to engulf her.
As she breathed in the scent of him, the tension in her shoulders began to loosen, and the world outside his embrace faded into the darkness.
Finally, her tears subsided.
His hand was still moving lightly against her hair. The other clasped her waist in a way that was both gentle and unyielding.
‘Why didn’t you tell me about your dad and your ex before?’
‘I didn’t think it would make any difference.’ She lifted the hem of her T-shirt and swiped it across her eyes.
His jaw tightened. ‘It wouldn’t have done,’ he said finally.
‘I wouldn’t have told you even if I thought it might. That’s not how it works in my world. There’s a code. What matters is what you see. If I told the truth, I’d break that code, and I’d be ostracised. My mom too.’
She bit her lip. ‘So now you know. You were right. My dad was not the man he pretended to be. And I went along with his lies. I protected him, and I’ve kept protecting him.’
‘Not him. You were protecting yourself and your mother.’ He hesitated, and then he stroked her cheek as he had earlier. ‘We all do what we need to so that we can survive.’
For a moment, they sat in silence. Their thighs were touching, and the heat of his body made her feel soft and loose and yet solid. He was doing that to her, giving her edges, giving her strength.
Something swelled in her throat, something that needed to be said, and maybe Antaeus was waiting to hear it.
Why else wouldn’t he have moved a muscle?
But instead of speaking, she reached up and touched his jaw.
His arm was still around her waist. It tightened now, and suddenly her heart was slamming into her chest.
Antaeus was looking at her in that same way he had stared at the vase in the vault, his breath scratchy and unsteady. She felt her own breath teetering, and then—
‘You must be exhausted. Why don’t you go back to bed? I’ll take care of the lights.’
She stifled a disappointment that was as real as it was confusing. ‘Actually, I might stay a bit longer, watch the stars.’
‘Okay.’ He tipped her gently onto the mattress, made as if to stand, then hesitated. ‘I could stay if you want.’
Did she want that? He was still her enemy, but what kind of enemy would listen without judgement to what she had just said?
Even though she had given him plenty of ammunition, he hadn’t used her confession against her.
And he hadn’t demanded that she go inside.
Instead, he had offered to stay. There was another of those pauses, and then she said quietly, ‘I’d like that. ’
It took a moment for them to move across the bed and lie back against the pillows and another to spread the blanket over their bodies. Then it felt like the most natural thing to take his hand and curl his arm over her waist again and for him to press closer and curve around her.
Against the night sky, the stars were laid bare against the immensity of the darkness.
‘Are they moving?’
‘Yes, incredibly fast. But they’re so far away we can’t see the truth of their reality.’
And that was how she fell asleep. With Antaeus next to her, his calm voice filling her head, and her body soft with a relief that the truth of her reality was no longer a secret she had to keep.