CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER TWO
Caitlin had never thought that friendship could come with such big downsides, and the biggest downside was the fact that, after two weeks, she could say with hand on heart that she really liked Isabella. Not only was she beautiful and smart, but there was a kindness there that Caitlin would never have expected, given the other woman’s elevated status.
Shouldn’t stunningly gorgeous women born with silver spoons in their mouths be horrible and snobby? Shouldn’t they enjoy giving orders and lording it up over the riff-raff? Or had she succumbed to stereotyping? Maybe it was time to change her reading habits.
She’d spent precious little time in the office, just a handful of hours over the previous fortnight, because she had been out and about with Isabella, visiting various venues which seemed magically to have space when the fee they would get fell squarely in the ‘eye-wateringly generous’ category.
They’d been to florists. Then, just because it was such a nice day, and because Isabella had wanted to see more of London than just do stuff to do with the wedding, they had gone to Kew Gardens. They had strolled around, chatting in Spanish and English, laughing and correcting one another, and had had lunch there with the sun on their faces surrounded by people enjoying a day out just like them.
In the evenings, Isabella duly returned to her fiancé, and Caitlin returned to her small, rented apartment in West London where she caught up on work. The fact that she and Javier’s fiancée got along so well, the fact that the guy was going to be married and that he had found love whether he chose to admit it or not, should have completely put paid to all inappropriate attraction. But, much to Caitlin’s frustration, her body still continued to do its own thing.
She no longer saw him daily for hours at a stretch, but she still found herself treacherously looking forward to those snatched times when she came into the office to catch up with some of her work. He would walk in and her heart would do what it always did and skip a few beats; her pulses would race and her mouth would go dry. She kept it all to herself. She made sure to plaster a smile on her face when she told him about some of the things she and Isabella had done. Of course, Isabella would be confiding in him as well, sharing news of where they’d been and what they’d achieved in terms of progressing the wedding arrangements, but he asked and she replied. She hadn’t talked to him at all of certain concerns she had about the whole wedding scenario because it wasn’t her business.
Right now, Isabella was back in Madrid for four days, and she was back in the office and pleased to be back in the routine. Tricia could only handle so much, and there was tons to do. She was busy writing up a report when Javier strode into the office and paused in front of her desk.
Caitlin looked up, eyes travelling along faded black jeans and the black V-necked tee-shirt that clung lovingly to his muscular abs. He had a casual jacket looped over one shoulder.
‘You’re not in your work clothes,’ she remarked.
‘Shocking, isn’t it? I decided to take the afternoon off to see two of those venues you and Isabella narrowed down on the list of possibilities.’
‘Oh.’
‘One more to see before the day is out. I intend to make a decision by the end of the evening.’
‘Oh.’
‘Are we going to get more than just a monosyllabic reply to all my statements?’
But he was grinning, his dark eyes lazy, amused and doing all sorts of unwelcome things to her nervous system. This was an expression she had seen before, one that feathered along her spine and made her shiver. Did he even know that the way he sometimes looked at her—lazy, intense, dark eyes lingering for a second too long—always put thoughts in her head and kept her fantasies alive? Her lips thinned at her own weakness in reading signs that weren’t there.
‘But Isabella isn’t in the country.’ She frowned.
‘Duly noted.’
‘You’ll decide without her input?’
Javier shrugged, his expression shuttered as he looked at her. ‘I don’t think she’ll mind whatever I choose. I am, after all, a fifty-percent shareholder in this arrangement.’
Which, said like that, brought back those concerns that had been wafting around in Caitlin’s head for the past two weeks since she and Isabella had begun putting the wedding plans into effect. She hesitated, tempted to say something, but instead held her tongue and looked at him in silence.
‘About to say something?’
‘Which of the two have you narrowed down?’
He pulled out a couple of creased brochures that had been stuffed in the back pocket of his jeans and held them out to her.
‘Good choices,’ she murmured approvingly. ‘Out of the four, these would have been my top picks, and I think Isabella would have agreed with me. And with you, of course. It’s good that you’re on the same page.’
She paused and mentally reminded herself that having any kind of physical response to her engaged boss was one hundred percent taboo. ‘Because it shows that you think alike, which is so important in a healthy relationship.’
‘Thank you for that observation. And out of the two?’
‘I don’t think that’s for me to say,’ Caitlin told him politely.
‘Nonsense. You must have an opinion. You always have opinions. At any rate, you can share it with me, because I want you to come with me to the next venue. A little female input would be welcome.’
‘Javier, this is the sort of thing you should be doing with Isabella.’
‘Who is currently in Madrid, so that’s something of a non-starter.’
‘Can’t you wait until she gets back?’
‘The sooner the place is booked, the better. Time marches on. Come along; it’s Friday, and that work can wait until Monday. I’m sure Tricia can help out on whatever needs doing, anyway.’
‘I thought that would involve shepherding your fiancée around and acting as translator when necessary. I didn’t think I would be taking on the role of dedicated wedding planner.’
But he was already moving towards the door, expecting her to spring into action and follow him. The thought of looking at a wedding venue with her boss felt scarily intimate. The sight of him in casual clothing, crazily sexy and way too macho for anybody’s good, made her pulses leap just a little bit faster as she reluctantly gathered all her bits and followed him out of the office. She was slipping on her cotton cardigan as the lift doors pinged open and he stepped aside to let her slide past him.
‘How have you been finding Isabella, and showing her around and introducing her to life in London?’
‘She’s absolutely charming. I can see why you two are so close.’
‘We understand each other, I suppose. As an only child, like me, she’s always been geared to taking over the family business, even if many of the nuts and bolts were handled by other trusted CEOs. She studied business and law at university in Spain, and her exposure to outside influences has been less than you’d expect, given her family’s high profile.’
Caitlin had been staring fixedly at the brushed matte doors but now she slowly turned to look at him. He was lounging against the back of the lift, although he eased away when the doors opened to the busy foyer.
‘She’s clearly very smart. She’s talked quite a bit about the family business and what’s involved, not that I followed every word she said.’
Truly, Caitlin reflected, Isabella and Javier were both so business-like. To her, it seemed crazy that any bride-to-be would be happy to miss something as vital as choosing her wedding venue. But perhaps this was just the necessary ceremony, and the main event would happen when her father was there along with all their relatives in Spain.
As for Caitlin, she had her own daydreams, but in her heart she knew that they were only daydreams. The rich, handsome boss was never going to gaze into her eyes with sudden adoration and get down on one knee. She would meet a nice, ordinary guy one day who would give her the security she needed—the same security she had thought Andy would give her.
Her life wasn’t going to be the fairy tales she had spun in her head as a kid. But for Isabella and Javier? They had all the makings of just the sort of grand romance she read about. They weren’t two ordinary people leading ordinary lives. They would never have to make prosaic decisions about paying gas bills and mortgage repayments. They were meant for the ‘swept off feet’ thing. And they weren’t even bothered about taking advantage of it!
‘I did tell you that you would like her.’ Javier broke into Caitlin’s reverie, snapping her firmly back into the present.
Soon, they were strolling out into the busy, warm summer streets where his driver was waiting for them in a sleek black Range Rover. It was blessedly cool inside from the air-conditioning. Caitlin relaxed back and half-closed her eyes as the car moved smoothly towards the venue they were going to inspect.
She knew where it was, and knew how long it would take to get there, and the answer was ‘not very’. Not very long to get to a place she shouldn’t be going to because the woman he was going to marry should be the one going there with him. The woman he loved . She had seen it shining in both their faces. The memory of that suddenly cut her to the quick and she shot him a fulminating, rebellious look from under her lashes.
‘I don’t get it,’ she said abruptly.
‘Don’t get what?’
Caitlin felt hot and bothered at this departure from the usual easy-going working relationship they enjoyed. Suddenly, there was an urgency to say what was on her mind. Yes, she was being paid a small fortune to undertake this mission, but still…
She looked at him coolly and seriously. ‘I don’t feel comfortable making any kind of decision about something as big as a wedding venue on behalf of your fiancée.’
‘Since when was I asking you to?’
‘Input should come from Isabella. She would care if you chose something she didn’t want.’
‘I think you’re going beyond your brief here, Caitlin. Just a mild word of warning—I didn’t pay you for your observations and conclusions about something you don’t know about. You say you think looking at a venue with me is out of your scope, but it’s a lot less out of your scope than lecturing me on the dynamics of my relationship with Isabella.’
‘Point taken.’
‘But it’s better than you sitting next to me in sullen silence, so go for it.’
‘What about the brief I’ll be crashing through?’
‘If I’m honest, I think I can handle the directness. It’s one of the things about you I happen to like.’ He smiled and looked at her for a couple of seconds in silence, eyes assessing and amused. ‘Even though it’s never applied to my personal life. So…spit it out.’ He looked away, shielding his expression.
Caitlin drew in a sharp breath and balled her fists because she had a crazy urge to turn him to look at her to see what was in his eyes. Why did he keep doing this to her—making her think that there was an electric charge there, resting untapped just beneath the surface? Was it her yearning for romance getting the better of her, even though she tried hard not to let it?
She breathed in deeply. ‘Isabella is just lovely, but she really doesn’t seem at all interested in the exciting business of wedding preparations. I understand she doesn’t have a mum being enthusiastic behind the scenes, and that this is all rushed, but still…she’s a lot more curious about restaurants and things to do in London than she is in hunting down an outfit for the big day, or even picking which caterer she wants for the reception. She hasn’t once mentioned a photographer. I talked about having those disposable cameras on the tables for guests to use and she honestly looked at me as though I was nuts.’
Caitlin grinned ruefully at the memory. ‘It’s as if she doesn’t care one way or another whether there are pictures of the ceremony. Who doesn’t want a record of the big day?’
Javier shrugged. ‘It’s going to be a subdued day, a small affair, with her father still in recovery. An elaborate photo shoot would feel a little overblown.’
‘It might be subdued but it’ll still be significant.’ Caitlin thought about all the daydreams she had had about love, marriage and weddings. None of those daydreams resembled what she was helping out with. ‘It’s not as though you two don’t really love one another. If you love someone why wouldn’t you want to celebrate properly? I know you say it’s all about business, but it’s obvious that’s barely half the story with you two.’
‘Okay, Caitlin. You’ve now left all goalposts behind, and that’s a step too far.’
His voice had cooled and Caitlin felt that coolness like a slap on the face. This wasn’t them . But then, these circumstances were far from normal. The separation between them had dangerously blurred because she was now involved in his personal life.
Her feelings were compromised. She knew that. The innocent crush was being tested to the limit and it wasn’t going away. He had his wife-to-be on the scene, a woman of whom Caitlin was genuinely fond, a woman he clearly loved—and yet she still felt the dangerous pull of attraction when she was with him.
Such as right now. The dark eyes resting on her flushed face did all sorts of wild things to her body she didn’t like. Instead of this intrusion of his personal life slamming shut the door between them, it had opened it wide. It had engineered a curiosity inside her and had allowed her imagination to take flight. Right now, she felt faint as she imagined just reaching out and gently touching this guy who was totally off-limits.
She lapsed into tight-lipped, resentful silence.
‘You’re right,’ she muttered eventually as the silence stretched and stretched until she could have heard a pin drop. Thank goodness he had closed the sliding partition so that his driver couldn’t eavesdrop on the most awkward conversation on the planet.
She suddenly longed for the easy familiarity to be back, for this edgy tension to melt away. She would put all her intrusive curiosity into a box and return to the cheerful, upfront girl he knew and liked. She knew she could do that. If there was one thing she had learnt in foster care, it was the value of compromise and the wisdom of saying as little as possible that could be held against her at a later date. To survive, she’d had to know how to pretend and toe the line even if, as in this case, toeing the line involved a whole lot of pretence.
* * *
They arrived at the venue, which was a glasshouse set alongside a National Trust property. The glasshouse was perfect for drinks and the room inside the beautiful property was perfect for the reception. It was just the right size. Caitlin caught herself imagining the dining area filled with flowers spilling over elegant columns…pink-and-white vintage roses…candlesticks on crisp, white linen tablecloths…the background fading tones of a violinist welcoming the guests…
She abruptly snapped out of the daydream and chatted about the venue, comparing it to the far more modern one, which was the other option.
‘And which do you prefer?’ Javier asked, when they had both duly looked around.
‘Like I said, that’s not for me to say.’
‘Very restrained for a woman who’s never been shy at voicing her opinions.’
‘I’m just remembering those goalposts that I accidentally knocked out of my way,’ she said truthfully, and he burst out laughing.
‘You have a gift when it comes to making me laugh.’
‘I suppose that’s a compliment?’
* * *
Their eyes tangled and now Javier wasn’t smiling when he looked at her. She really was something else, wasn’t she? Oh, it wasn’t as though he hadn’t looked at her before. Now, though, with barriers a little askew, looking had a different kind of feel to it, and he shifted to adjust a sudden stiffening of arousal that took him by surprise. This was dangerous territory. This marriage might be a sham but that didn’t give a green light for him to start wondering about his PA.
‘Of course it is,’ he said gruffly. ‘You’re cheerful and good-natured and smart. Those qualities count for a lot. And, as far as offering an opinion about a venue goes, it’s work of a sort, wouldn’t you agree? Goalposts will remain firmly in place. I’m curious as to why you’re so tight-lipped about a straightforward question, anyway.’
‘Because it’s important that you two decide this sort of thing between you, as a couple.’ She sighed and he raised his eyebrows, although there was no return of the unwelcoming coldness that had been there before.
‘So I’m taking it that you’re into the romance of the situation?’ he murmured as they climbed back into the car, he giving his driver instructions to Caitlin’s flat, which he had the address of on his mobile. ‘Red roses and a harpist in the background? Confetti and tossing the bouquet for someone to nab it and join the queue to walk up the aisle?’
‘Red roses would be way too obvious, if you really want to know.’
Javier grinned and cast his dark eyes over her, lingering on the fullness of her mouth and the clean, satiny smoothness of her skin. He shifted. ‘I’m guessing your parents got hitched in a village church with white petals scattered along the aisle and a horse and carriage to take them away, wherever they got taken away to, for the requisite honeymoon of a lifetime?’
* * *
Caitlin looked away. She felt a sudden sting of tears prick behind her eyes and she had to breathe in long and deep to find some self-control from somewhere.
‘What’s the matter?’
His voice was surprised…soft…urgent…his hand on her arm gentle but insistent. Still looking away, she shrugged, but her eyes were still glazed as he reached to place a finger gently under her chin, urging her to look at him. The touch was soft and brief and it shot through her body like an exploding firework. His dark eyes had gentled and he was staring at her with his head tilted to one side.
He dropped his hand but she could still feel the heat of his finger on her chin, hot and unsettling.
‘Nothing’s the matter,’ she muttered tightly.
‘Something’s the matter. What is it? What have I said to upset you? You can tell me anything. I hope, after all the time we’ve worked together, that you know that.’
‘I said nothing’s the matter ,’ Caitlin told him sharply. ‘So please could you just lay off ? I’m not the only one who can travel past the brief!’
* * *
The silence that greeted this outburst was shocking, unheard of. She rushed into instant apology, her words tripping over one another.
Meanwhile, Javier continued to stare at her with undisguised curiosity. Well, well, well… In all the time she’d worked for him, he’d been presented with someone who was cheerful, easy-going and bright. There was depth, for sure, but no dark side. Yet, now, he had seen something in her eyes, heard the sharpness in her voice, and had known that beneath the surface swirled a lot more than he had probably suspected.
Fascinating. It was obvious that she and Isabella had got on like a house on fire, but she disapproved of the way the wedding was being approached, even though he had explained that the situation was simply something that made sense, a business arrangement.
She seemingly disapproved because she was an incurable romantic, yet when he tried to quiz her on that, half-teasing, half-curious, her reaction had been extreme. Why? Was there a story of a broken heart somewhere? She had stronger feelings about his wedding than he had, but then he had reason to be jaded by the whole business of love and marriage.
He thought of his father and the way he had been paralysed by his wife’s premature death. Javier had understood then, as a young child, that pain and love were interlinked. If someone lost their heart to a person, and the person they loved was then taken away, they couldn’t cope. And, when he’d been still a kid, the loss had hurt even more.
Javier shut down that line of thought and returned to the intriguing present. He was suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to find out more about Caitlin.
‘I never asked and maybe I should have…’ he began softly, lowering his eyes yet alert to every nuance in her.
‘Asked me what?’
‘About whether all this business with Isabella is getting in the way of your private life. I realise you’ve had to juggle things around the dog, but is there someone in your life you’re also having to juggle things around?’
‘Someone in my life?’
‘A partner? Boyfriend?’
‘No boyfriend.’
Javier glanced at her to see that she was blushing, defiant and challenging, and her lips were tight. His curiosity deepened. When it came to women, he couldn’t remember a time he’d ever been curious about any of them. The women he’d dated had been transitory flings. He’d enjoyed them, just as they’d enjoyed him, and getting deep and personal with any of them would have been unthinkable. Even when it came to Isabella, there was no real curiosity, because he knew her so well.
But Caitlin, with her suddenly fluctuating moods, guarded expressions and skittish retreat whenever he seemed to get too close to something she wanted to keep hidden… Well, he was curious now.
‘You surprise me,’ he murmured, his dark eyes alert to her physicality and absently appreciating what he saw.
‘Why?’
‘You’re young, you have an active social life, you’re outgoing and attractive…you should have a queue of men lining up to ask you out.’
‘I think you might be living in the past, Javier. These days, women are equally concerned about their careers. Anyway, I’ve never had a queue of boys lining up to ask me out.’
‘Funny. We work so closely together and yet I’m realising that Isabella might know more about you than I do after a couple of weeks.’
‘What are you talking about?’
Javier shrugged but he could sense her wariness. ‘I think I’ll arrange venue number two.’
‘Yes.’ Caitlin nodded approvingly. ‘Since you’ve made the choice, I’ll admit that I prefer it. It’s less harsh. Venue one looked expensive, but it also looked quite cold in the brochure, I thought, even though it was beautiful with the high ceilings and the marble columns.’
‘Your apartment.’
The driver was slowly pulling up in front of a functional sixties apartment block and Javier watched as she hastily began to unbuckle the seat belt. He’d been here once before, a flying drop-in on the way to the airport to collect a hard copy of a file he’d unexpectedly needed to take with him to New York. He hadn’t made it past the communal entrance because she’d met him at the front.
This time, he wanted the tour. ‘I’ll show you in.’
‘There’s no need.’
‘I wouldn’t be a gentleman if I didn’t.’ He leapt out of the car at the same time as his driver opened her door. Their eyes met and he grinned.
He noted a barely suppressed sigh of resignation and his grin broadened. He was enjoying his PA in a way he hadn’t before. He sauntered behind her into the apartment block and up the two flights to her flat, where they were greeted with yelps of barking long before the key was inserted in the door.
‘I’ve never understood why you have a dog. Isn’t it more trouble than it’s worth, considering you work full-time?’
* * *
When Caitlin spun round, it was to find him closer to her than she’d expected and she shuffled a few steps back.
‘Angie said she’d drop him back on the way to get some stuff from the pet shop.’
As to why she had Benji… How could he begin to understand her joy at Benji’s unconditional love? How could he ever get that, when she’d grown up with nothing to call her own, a dog was something that filled that void and healed her? She spent a good amount of her salary on him and she wouldn’t have it any other way.
She was wired. She’d been insanely conscious of him next to her during the entire trip out to see the wedding venue. Why had he insisted she come? She didn’t know; she wasn’t sure whether it was her imagination, but there had been an atmosphere between them ever since they’d left the office.
And then that shocking outburst! She’d snapped at him for the first time ever and with a sinking heart she’d seen the astonishment on his face.
He was right: he knew very little about her. And now this situation had added a layer of intimacy to their relationship that was unnerving. It made her behave out of character but some gut instinct told her that acting out of character wasn’t going to rouse his anger or even his irritation. It was going to rouse his curiosity and she decided that she didn’t want her boss to be curious about her. If he started digging, what would he find? He was so astute when it came to reading people and she had a feeling that he could probably give a masterclass in reading women.
How long would it take him to find out that she had a crush on him? The thought of that made Caitlin fidget with embarrassment. She almost wished she’d fabricated a boyfriend to keep any unwanted curiosity at bay, but then wondered what would happen if he asked to meet said figment of her imagination. The tangled web wasn’t worth thinking about.
She opened the door, and on cue Benji flew out with frenzied delight, acrobatically leaping into the air and planting his furry body against Javier’s legs.
‘Benji, stop!’ But she was smiling and Javier glanced at her with raised eyebrows.
‘Stop!’ he growled and the dog instantly pulled back and gazed up at Javier’s towering figure with eager eyes, small body vibrating with excitement at an unexpected visitor.
‘Thanks for delivering me to my door.’
‘May I have a glass of water before I go? Looking at wedding venues is thirsty work.’
He smiled and she stood back as he swept past her into the one-bedroomed flat which she rented. She saw him looking around, glancing at the optimistic posters on the walls of exotic holiday destinations, the bookshelf stuffed with wonderful romantic fiction, the liberal scattering of Benji’s toys and the dog basket by the telly in the small living room.
Like having Benji, having a place to call her own was something else she cherished. She couldn’t have shared a house even if the rent might have been half what she paid. She’d longed for her own space way too much. It was what came from having a legacy where the only thing that had really been hers and hers alone was her imagination.
He followed her into the kitchen. She poured him a glass of water and watched, standing back, as he swallowed it down, looking at her over the rim of the glass.
She took in the surroundings: the sticky notes on the fridge; the old-fashioned calendar by the little dresser; the weathered pine table she had bought for a song when she’d first moved in…
He was here…in her flat…eating up the space with his overpowering masculinity… She shivered and felt a tingle of sexual awareness zip through her body like quicksilver. She would have to get a grip. She held out her hand for the glass and gritted her teeth when he shot her a look of knowing amusement.
Benji had calmed down and she reached to pick him up and buried her face against his soft fur.
‘That dog has issues,’ Javier said, grinning broadly.
‘I realise Isabella is in Madrid, so couldn’t do the final venue check.’ Caitlin ignored his teasing remark, deposited Benji on the ground and continued tersely. ‘But…’
‘But…?’ He scooped Benji up and stroked behind his ear, gazing at her, hip propped against the kitchen counter.
‘But next week is wedding dress week,’ Caitlin told him flatly. ‘You should be around for that.’
‘Isn’t that supposed to be bad luck? Groom seeing what the bride has in store for him on the big day?’
‘It’s not about actually seeing the dress. I’ve sourced a couple of places and you could come and collect Isabella when she’s finished. It’s a special day, and I’m sure Isabella would appreciate the gesture.’
‘She said so?’
‘Not in so many words, but I’ve done the maths, and you’ve been to precisely zero places with her that have anything to do with your upcoming wedding. Surprising her by showing up after the wedding dress appointment would be a nice gesture.’
There was steely determination in her voice. They had it all, she thought bitterly. They were glamorous, aristocratic, wealthy and beautiful. They had the world at their feet. They cared for one another. And, with all those things in place, instead of celebrating the marriage that would unite them for ever they were indifferent and blasé.
While she could only dream of big, white, frothy affairs that belonged to a world she would never inhabit. She didn’t even know whether her time would ever come. Would the background she’d never asked for deprive her of a stab at finding true love? Was she destined to have another Andy experience and end up trusting the wrong guy because she was so desperate for security?
Javier lowered Benji back to the ground and watched as, calm now, the small ball of fur padded underneath the table and settled down among the chair legs to peer at them with interest, head resting on his front paws.
‘Let me know when and where and I’ll try and be there.’
‘Aren’t you interested at all in what you’re going to find when you show up to get married?’
‘I’m not really into choosing flowers, and I already know what I’ll be wearing: trousers and a shirt. A jacket might be thrown on for good measure.’
‘I suppose if the real big event is happening in Madrid later on when Isabella’s dad is back on his feet…’ Her voice was strained as she took the conversation back to safer waters.
‘Correct. These are just the formalities we’re going through, with sufficient icing on the cake so that it passes muster with various friends and business associates.’
* * *
Javier knew the complexities of the situation were beyond her. He had filled her in on the barest bones of the marriage he was about to willingly undertake. A marriage that was a little ahead of schedule, although he was thirty-two and knew there was only so long the pair of them could defer the inevitable. He’d known for years that he had a deadline when it came to getting married. The knot would have to be tied by thirty-five for that sliver of his inheritance to pass into his hands, with all its memories and back stories.
He wondered whether he’d expected Caitlin to be as business-like about the job she’d been given now as she’d always been when tasked with doing something that involved his personal life. She’d never made any judgements about the many women who came and went in his life. He’d lazily fallen into the habit of getting her to buy stuff for them—to book outings and send flowers. She’d never once ventured any opinion that he lacked the romantic touch. She’d never once said that it might have been an idea for him personally to have chosen an item of jewellery for whatever woman he happened to be dating at the time instead of routinely delegating the job to his obliging assistant. No wonder he’d lulled himself into thinking that his PA wasn’t the romantic soul he now realised she was.
‘I should be heading off.’ He half-saluted Benji, who instantly sprang to his feet, alert to the possibility of an unexpected run out.
As he headed towards the door, Javier glanced around him one last time. ‘Places you want to see?’ he asked idly, taking in a couple of the posters she had neatly stuck to the walls in the sitting room.
‘Some of them.’
‘You have a list?’
* * *
He turned to her with a smile and Caitlin looked back at him with a serious expression. She was relieved that he was leaving and yet part of her wanted him to stay because his presence was electrifying. She’d never realised how alive she felt around him until now, when everything was changing and being around him, and feeling that pleasurable tingle, was no longer appropriate.
‘I haven’t travelled much,’ she now confessed, following his eyes to the bold poster of turquoise seas, white sands and a jetty disappearing into deeper blue.
‘No school trips? Annual holidays with parents you wanted to swap for friends, because they wanted you home by ten?’
He grinned, moving towards the door, and Caitlin felt that tension again as a past she’d always kept to herself began to nudge its way to the surface.
‘Not exactly,’ she said vaguely. ‘How about you, Javier? Home by ten and bunking down with twelve other classmates on a ski trip in France?’ How she’d longed for the normality of that when she’d been a kid, but those trips had been out of reach for her. So she’d had to make do by weaving enjoyable imaginary scenarios in her head about what it might feel like.
‘That might have been nice.’
Caitlin paused at the momentary wistfulness in his voice and breached the mental ‘don’t go there’ sign in her head without even thinking.
‘What do you mean?’
He had half-opened the door but now stopped and looked down at her thoughtfully.
‘A life that’s set in stone from birth doesn’t allow much freedom of movement,’ he murmured. ‘As an only child, and heir to a historic family fortune, responsibility was never far away.’
Caitlin knew that at this point she should say something light and teasing, something to release the sudden electric charge, but instead she said, thoughtfully, ‘It must have been tough. But still…you would have had some adventures. I know you’ve travelled extensively.’ She smiled wistfully. ‘I can’t think that having lots of money prevented you from seeing as much of the world as you wanted to.’
‘Maybe you have a point, but money can take as much as it gives.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I had everything money could buy given in one hand…and in the other, I had childhood normality taken, the small things that money can never buy.’
Her breathing hitched and she blinked at him, not wanting to let go of this moment, but knowing she had to because there was something dangerously intimate going on between them.
She laughed shakily. ‘However restricted your life was, Javier,’ she breathed huskily, ‘I’m betting it wasn’t a patch on mine.’
She was riveted by their conversation…by the thoughtful depths in his dark eyes…by the way he was looking at her, a little awkwardly, but with an intensity that was setting her senses on fire.
‘Anyway…’ She stood back. ‘Please don’t forget about coming to surprise Isabella after the dress appointment. I’ll email you the details. She’s such a wonderful woman; it’d be a nice gesture…a nice surprise. It’s…it’s the sort of…of surprise any woman would really love.’ She paused and took a deep breath to get a grip. ‘You might be doing a duty, but from what I see you couldn’t want a lovelier partner in crime.’
She sidestepped him to open the door and her heart beat like a drum inside her. She only breathed a sigh of relief when the door was shut and she could hear the faint echo of his steps growing fainter as he descended the two flights of stairs to where his driver would be waiting patiently outside.
She needed to get her act together.
As she lay in bed much later, trying to court sleep with thoughts of her boss swooping and swirling in her head, all she could think was… this feels like losing control…