CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
“Everyone out. Now.”
Jasiri’s office was filled with his administrative staff, all of whom worked for him and honored him as their king. Not one of them looked to Jasiri, who sat in the middle of the room behind his massive desk, for confirmation. They all stopped what they were doing and began making their way out of the room.
Maybe it was Reigna’s stiff stance or maybe it was the steel in her voice. Whatever it was, she must’ve had I am not to be played with tattooed on her forehead because those folks scattered like they were running from explosive hot lava raining down on their heads.
When the door clicked closed behind her, she stepped toward him with her finger pointed at him.
“You sneaky—”
He raised his hands palm side up, cutting her off as if she were one of his servants. She’d thought she’d been mad after the call she just received from her sister. With just that simple gesture he’d taken her from angry to enraged, decimating any chance they had at having a reasonable conversation.
“Reigna, I—”
“I don’t want to hear it, Jasiri. Canceling my sister’s visit without consulting me? You’ve gone too far.”
She stood looming over him, her fury vibrating through her resulting in seismic quakes through her body.
“You’ve kept me locked up in this damn palace for three weeks as if I’m the one who did something wrong. I hate it, but I knew you were doing it because you were scared, because the thought of losing me scared you stupid.”
His widened eyes almost made her laugh. Apparently, he’d really thought he was hiding that well.
“If you know that, you should understand why I canceled your sister’s visit.”
“Jasiri, I am your wife. We agreed that I would also be your partner in this royal endeavor. Instead, you’ve sidelined me as if I’m some helpless, fragile damsel who can’t fight for herself.”
“Reigna, I—”
“I said shut it!” she bellowed, not caring if anyone on the other side of that door could hear. “You are the king of this nation, Jasiri. But you are not God. You do not get to make decisions for me without consulting me or getting my permission.”
Fire flashed in his brown eyes, and she saw the moment his restraint snapped. He stood so quickly his chair crashed to the carpeted floor with a loud thump. Jasiri ignored it, focusing only on her as he stalked around the desk and stood before her.
“Pili tried to kill you, Reigna! He tried to kill you, and I can’t find a goddamn thing to tie him to his attempt, which means he’s free to try again.”
His locs hung free, swinging and moving with the same angry staccato that his words took on.
“I will not let him take you from me.”
He spoke through clenched teeth. His features were twisted with fear and rage. She’d seen Jasiri undone when they’d made love. But she’d never seen him so out of control with anger that she could hardly recognize the man in front of her.
“If I have to lock you in the goddamn dungeon and throw away the key, I’ll do it with not a single ounce of guilt because as pissed as you may be with me, you’ll still be alive.”
He shoved his fingers through his hair, tugging them angrily through the neatly twisted strands. It looked painful, but in that moment, she thought he might somehow welcome the pain.
“Don’t you understand, Reigna? I love you.”
He slapped his hand against his chest as he spoke each word again.
“I. Love. You. And the idea of letting him take you away from me sets fire to my soul. If he takes you, what will be left of me? If he takes you, then everything I have sacrificed to protect my nation, my people, my family, it will all be for naught. Because if he takes you, there will be nothing left of me that will be fit to live, let alone rule.”
Heat burned through to her skin as tears pooled in her eyes. This beautiful and strong man had been so broken by his fear he was closing the rest of the world out to keep the thing, the person he was fixated on, with him.
“Oh, Jasiri. Don’t you see? If Pili had really meant to kill me, I would be dead. What he wanted was to get in your head and he’s done that. This is not love, Jasiri. This is obsession, and I cannot condone it. I won’t live like this, not after watching how my parents spent years manipulating each other for their own gain. I won’t let you turn us into them, Jasiri. That would be the thing that actually kills me.”
He leveled his gaze at her, shaking his head as he stood before her. “You’re not taking this seriously, Reigna. I’m trying to do what’s best for you.”
She placed her hand against her chest to still the tremors shaking her digits. “That’s what my father told my mother when he insisted they get married once he and his family discovered she was pregnant. It’s also what he said to her when he demanded she give up her dreams of earning a college degree because he was a Devereaux and his wife didn’t need to work when he was more than capable of providing for her. It’s also what he told her when he isolated her from all her friends and family who were trying to warn her that my father’s controlling behavior wasn’t healthy. I won’t let you do that to us or me, Jasiri. No matter how good your intentions are.”
“We are under threat, Reigna—”
“My sister is not a threat, and you know that. But your fear is controlling you, poisoning your way of thinking and making you see threats where there are none. They’re making you try to strip me of my freedom just to keep me by your side.”
She stepped closer to him, placing careful hands on his face and pressing her lips gently against his.
“I love you, Jasiri. I never stopped loving you. But I cannot watch you destroy yourself by playing into Pili’s long game. I won’t live as a prisoner, and I won’t watch you turn our love to bitter hate because you can’t let go.”
She stepped away from him. Closing her eyes until she could find the strength to meet his gaze.
“I’m going back to Brooklyn today.”
“Reigna, we had a deal.”
His words were soaked in anger, but she knew that was a disguise for the hurt she could see gathering in his eyes, in the way his shoulders slipped just a little.
“I will honor that deal. I will show up for any royal appearances you need me to. I’ll return for the wedding and the coronation. But I cannot live here with you, like this. When you are ready to hear reason and see that I am an asset to you, a weapon to be wielded instead of a source of weakness, then I will return to this island so fast it will make your head spin. Until then, I can’t stay here with you and watch you turn us into my parents.”
She walked toward the door and stopped abruptly when he said, “You know I can stop you if I choose. All it would take is a word.”
Her tears began to flow, there was too much pain gripping her heart for her to hold them back now.
“I know you can. But you should also know that I spoke to my sister on my private cell phone, the one I came here with. If she doesn’t receive a call from me with my flight information in the next fifteen minutes, she’ll use every resource the Devereauxs have to start a media shitstorm.”
She placed her hand on the doorknob before her as she continued. “You told me once that the most vulnerable time in any government is during the transition of power. Do you really want to test whether the monarchy can weather the global media scrutiny of you keeping an American citizen here against her will?”
When she didn’t hear him stomping after her or calling for his guards, she released a breath. Before she could twist the knob and open the door, she heard a sad small whisper rent the air.
“Before you go…” His voice was shaky and frail, and if she hadn’t known that they were the only two people in this room she wouldn’t have recognized it. “Please tell me what’s so terrible about me that your first response to trouble is always to leave me.”
His words hit her like stone against brittle bones, making her want to drop down into the fetal position to try to protect herself from the emotional blow.
She turned around, and her knees nearly buckled when she saw the shimmer of unshed tears filling his eyes. “I said no not because I didn’t want to be your wife but because I didn’t know how to be anyone’s wife.”
He flinched, as if her words struck him across his jaw like a skilled fist trained in the art of hand-to-hand combat.
“We hadn’t talked about marriage. I had no idea you were even thinking along those lines. I needed time to prepare, Jasiri. Time to understand that I wasn’t my mother and you weren’t my father. Instead, you sprung a very public and unexpected proposal on someone you knew from jump was commitment-phobic and when the expected happened, you walked away from me without a word.”
She glanced up at the ceiling briefly to gather strength to continue.
“You left. You cut me off, blocked my number with no means of contacting you. And when I went to the consulate to try to speak with you, I was told I was no longer allowed on the premises. You decided we were over, Jasiri, and I wasn’t given a say in it. I will not let you do the same thing to us again out of some misguided attempt to protect partly me, but mostly to protect yourself.”
His jaw tightened, and she could tell he hadn’t ever considered how their breakup had affected her. She’d been too afraid to say these words then, a mistake she wouldn’t repeat now.
“I won’t cut you off the way you did me. I will always keep the lines of communication open between us because what we have is worth fighting for. But right now, you’re not ready to fight. You’re running scared, Jasiri, and that fear is pushing me away.”
She wiped her fingers across her face to stanch the river of tears sliding down her cheeks, hoping to say this one last thing before she completely devolved into sheer emotion and no reason.
“The first time I left you was because I was afraid of me, Jasiri. Now I’m leaving you because I’m afraid for you.”
And with that, she turned around and opened the door, stepping into the empty hall, walking away from the man she loved quite possibly forever.