CHAPTER TEN
LOUISAHELDONTO Matteo’s hand as he helped her from the boat on his private dock. They’d spent the morning motoring about the lake. He’d taken her to see the village of Nesso, with its waterfall and Roman bridge. She’d watched as some tourists leaped into the lake for a perfect social-media moment, swimming and laughing. They’d explored Bellagio and strolled along the waterfront under sweetly flowering nerium, eating gelati in the sunshine.
How her life had changed since spending the night with Matteo. This need for him all-consuming. In the next few days after that first explosive evening, rather than exploring round the lake they’d spent their time exploring each other. Their bodies like undiscovered countries they needed to map with lips and hands.
She could never have imagined this life for herself, when the thought of even walking to the village round Easton Hall had filled her with a kind of foreboding. Something about telling Matteo about what had happened to her, that sharing, had released something inside her. How he’d pushed her just a little, had changed everything.
He’d talked about taking her to Paris, where something was happening with one of his hotels that might need his personal attention. Each day she found another place in the world he had a hotel or retreat, another place he’d explored.
He hadn’t mentioned his quest to turn Easton Hall into another of his hotels. Perhaps he no longer saw the need? Life seemed so full and bursting with happiness.
‘I have a challenge for you,’ he said, pulling her from her thoughts.
‘What sort of challenge?’
After settling her on the dock he smiled, and it made her warmer than the sunshine in which they stood. That smile of his could chase away all darkness.
‘You’ll see. I think you might like it.’
He took her hand again, so strong and secure. It was hard to know when she began to think of him like that. A place of safety rather than the man who wanted to take everything away from her. A pang almost like pain struck her belly. She wouldn’t think about it. He hadn’t mentioned anything. After what they’d spoken of, he must now understand why Easton Hall was so important to her. Anyhow, she’d overheard him talking on the phone to someone about repairs. Surely that meant they could return home soon?
As much as she loved the small slice she’d seen of Italy, Matteo’s villa in Como, Louisa still yearned for that place to go back to. Cool and green. The place where her formative happy memories had been made.
‘I can hear you thinking again,’ Matteo said. ‘Remember, you can always say no.’
That shook her from her introspection. The thing was, she didn’t want to say no. Her life had been cloistered. Louisa realised how stuck she’d been and now she wanted to catch up. Experience what other girls at her school had talked about, before her imaginary illness had taken over her life. Travels with their families, dreams of kissing boys, adventures...she was making up for years of lost time. She said no so often, to invitations from people in the village, to the young man at the grocer’s who’d asked her for a coffee once. She wanted her life to be full of yes.
‘I trust you,’ she said and squeezed his hand. He squeezed back. Instead of going to the house he led her through the gardens to an open-sided pavilion, surrounded by marble columns. Inside lay a gleaming blue swimming pool the colour of the sky, the water sparkling in the sunlight.
‘I thought you might like to learn how to swim, or, at least, to get in the water and see what it’s like.’
He’d kept his promise. When they’d first arrived here, she hadn’t believed he would. But now...tears stung her eyes. He remembered. He hadn’t forgotten.
Matteo let go of her hand and pulled his polo shirt over his head, tossing it onto a recliner that sat on the tiled surface surrounding the pool.
‘Do you want to try?’
Her mouth dried. Would she ever get over the look of him? That caramel-brown skin, so different against her own. The hair smattering his chest, arrowing down to beneath the waistband of his shorts. Those muscles, ridged and rippling across his torso. She wanted to keep looking. She wanted to touch. Except...
‘I don’t have a swimming costume.’
‘What a shame.’ His grin in response was pure wickedness. ‘Do you need one?’
She stilled, flooding with heat. The thought of him and her, bodies slick against one another. Then reality bit.
‘People might see.’
‘There’s no one around. My staff have the afternoon off. If you don’t want to, I’ll just take a quick swim and we can do something else.’
He unbuckled his belt, undid his shorts and pushed them down. She’d almost hoped he’d be naked but he wore black swimming trunks underneath.
She nodded to him. ‘That seems hardly fair.’
He laughed. ‘Life’s not fair, Lulu.’
He strolled to a panel on the wall and pushed a button. Louvres of the pavilion ceiling closed halfway. ‘The sun’s bright. I don’t want you to burn.’
His thoughtfulness, it almost undid her. She could dissolve on the spot, right here. Matteo didn’t seem to be aware of how he affected her. He turned and dived into the gleaming water. Swimming a lap of the pool under the surface before coming up at the other end then swimming back to her in freestyle, powerful strokes slicing through the water. When he reached the end he stood, water to his waist. Dripping from him like diamonds. Shook his head then ran his hands through his hair.
‘Coming in?’
She looked out into the secluded garden. She caught a glimpse of the lake from here, but it was mainly hidden by shrubs. Nobody would see her other than him. Her heart thumped a skittish rhythm, something like nerves. He’d seen her naked before, and after the things they’d done she wasn’t sure why nerves should hit her as if she were an innocent all over again. But she’d promised herself that she’d be open to these new experiences. Her hair was in a long plait today, so she didn’t have to worry about it getting knotted. There were really no excuses other than her own fears, so she took a deep breath, kicked off her shoes, grabbed her dress and pulled it over her head.
His wicked smile fell away. His mouth, partly open. A look crossed his face then, something far more intense and focussed. Desire written all over him. Her nipples beaded. All of her flushing under his admiring gaze.
‘The stairs are right there.’
His voice ran rough across his skin as he pointed to the side of the pool. She unclipped her pretty lace bra. Wriggled out of her matching panties. Walked to the water’s edge and put her toes in, the water cool against her overheated skin. Then she stepped ankle deep, down further to knee deep, then to mid-thigh.
Matteo held out both of his hands as she hesitated, trying to recall the few times she’d ever been in a pool before, experiencing the mix of joy at the feel of the water against her skin with the terror of what would happen if she went under.
‘I won’t let you go.’
‘I know.’
She took both his hands as he walked backwards, and she stepped off. It wasn’t deep here, yet her mother’s voice kept whispering in her ear. ‘What if you drown?’
She tried to shut out the words. Matteo wouldn’t let anything happen to her.
‘What are you thinking?’
‘How do you know I’m thinking anything at all?’
‘You get a tiny frown, here.’ He stroked a finger in the middle of her forehead. A tiny drop of water fell on her face from his fingers. He gently swiped it away.
‘My mother told me not to swim. She always asked what would happen if she wasn’t there and I drowned.’
Matteo grunted. ‘That woman shouldn’t invade any of your thinking time. She never cared about what was best for you. I’m prepared to work diligently to make sure you forget what she’s said to you.’
He drew her towards him, arms around her. His mouth descending on hers in a slow luxurious kiss she fell into, pressed against his body. The heat of him, the cool of the water. Delicious, conflicting sensations. Pressed together, she sensed him harden against her.
He pulled away, his breath coming hard and fast matching her own.
‘I said I’d teach you to swim.’
‘You did.’
‘Let me take you deeper.’
She was already in way over her head. She tried not to think about what all of this meant. It probably meant nothing at all. She hadn’t ever expected to have any kind of relationship. Love equalled loss, a dark and tangled web where those two things were inextricably entwined.
Though why she should be thinking about love right in this very moment, she wasn’t sure. Love had no place here. He’d been clear he didn’t want it, and neither did she. This, sex, it was enough.
He walked back and back, cradling her in his arms.
‘Okay?’
She nodded.
‘I did some research,’ he said.
The idea that he’d investigated teaching her how to swim, spending time she’d not known about, planning this for her, struck her as more than considerate. It showed that he cared. That he was beginning to understand what she needed.
‘What did you find out?’
‘That you need to learn how to float first. How about you lie on your back, and I’ll support you?’
He helped her ease back in the water, his hands gentle against her body. Even though she knew he’d keep her safe, her breaths came a little too fast.
‘I’ll keep hold of you. Put your arms out. Try to relax,’ he said and she did, looking up into slivers of blue sky through the louvres in the pavilion roof as she floated. The water caressing her naked skin as Matteo moved slowly about the shallow end. She shut her eyes for a moment, sound muffled by the water. Simply drifting on trust as he supported her.
‘I’m going to let you go for a moment,’ he said. ‘I’ll always be here, but you can do this on your own.’
His hands left her body for a few seconds, and she lay still in the water. No panic. No fear. Only trust that nothing would happen to her if Matteo was by her side. She didn’t know how long she lay there, till his hands returned under her shoulders. Louisa opened her eyes, meeting with Matteo’s own. He bent down, brushing his lips against hers.
‘There was a terrible flaw in my plan,’ he said. Shifting to lift her from the water up against him.
‘What’s that?’
‘You’re naked, and I want you.’
His arms snaked around her, pulling her flush against him. She wrapped her arms round his neck, her legs round his waist. He supported her as his lips met hers and they kissed. Deep and lush. She notched against his body, hard and ready. The friction delicious.
‘I should be a better man,’ he said as she tried to catch her breath.
‘You are that man. I don’t know why you don’t realise it.’
He dropped his head to hers. ‘There are things you shouldn’t forget, Lulu. I didn’t get to where I am without getting everything I wanted. Every time. Nothing stood in my way.’
But she was sure he hadn’t found everything he wanted. He was looking for his birth family and hadn’t found them. Had accepted he never would. She suspected he wanted a real family despite his denials. He didn’t have that either. Matteo struck her as a man who was searching, and she wondered if he even realised what he was looking for.
‘You can have what you want from me. I’m not standing in your way.’
His nostrils flared. Of course, she was talking about sex, but it was fun for a moment to be held here and believe that the possibilities were endless.
‘Be careful what you offer me. You might find I take it, and I don’t have much to offer you in return.’
She wished he could see just how much he had. How kind he’d been to her. And yet she didn’t think he’d want to hear it, when it was clear there were things he couldn’t accept about himself.
She flexed against him, and his eyes darkened to the richest of warm chocolates.
‘You have exactly what I need right here, right now.’
He groaned and crashed his lips onto hers once more as she lost herself in the rhythm of his kiss.