CHAPTER SEVEN
THESOUNDOF crashing water was the first thing Helia heard. Then she felt a warm weight around her body. Slowly, other sounds met the first. Chirping birds. Soft breaths. As Helia was roused, she took in more of her surroundings. She was in bed, with light pouring in from all the open doors and windows. She was lying on her back, and when she looked over she saw Vasili sound asleep. Lying on his side. One arm was under her, the other was over her stomach, holding her close. His leg was wrapped around hers.
She had no idea when they had ended up in this position. She had tried to keep a physical space between them, and had been so tense she hadn’t thought she would fall asleep at all.
But she obviously had.
She turned slightly so she could get a good look at Vasili.
The King.
Her husband.
He was so beautiful. Dark, thick lashes fanned over his cheeks. His slightly curly hair fell in mussed waves. Fleshy pink lips were slightly parted. And then there was his body, which she could feel but couldn’t see, because he held her so close.
She was warm in his embrace. Content. Helia savoured this moment. A memory she would keep tucked away safely.
She had always wondered what it would be like to be held by him. Wondered what his lips might feel like. Even in those days spent in the library, when she had admired him from afar, she would let herself dream that one day he would see her. Would want to caress and kiss her. Now she’d had a taste of him. Knew what kissing him really felt like. And no imagination, no matter how creative, could have compared. Now she had an idea of what it would be like to wake up in his arms every morning, and a very significant part of her wished she could have more.
But she couldn’t.
He would never be doing this if he was awake.
He wouldn’t give that to her.
It was dangerous to think these thoughts. Dangerous for the goals that rested on her being the Queen Vasili needed, and especially dangerous for her heart. Only heartache awaited down that path. Because even though she was happy to be in his arms, it would feel even lonelier soon. When he woke and pulled away she would have to deal with that warmth abandoning her.
All these feelings told her that she was already struggling to separate the emotional from the physical. They had simply needed to sleep, but she was wishing for more.
Being in this bed wasn’t doing her any favours. So, as carefully as she could, she slipped from his embrace and quietly went to the bathroom, where she changed as quickly as she could into a jade bikini, and threw a long beach kimono over it. The pattern reminded her of an antique vase.
She left the chalet and walked barefoot along the slatted wooden path until she stepped onto the beach. The sand was still cool beneath her feet, but she knew that wouldn’t last long. Not with the summer sun that would beat down soon enough.
Helia walked all the way to the water’s edge, where the warm water fizzed over her toes, catching the very edges of the kimono that fluttered around her ankles. She was utterly alone on the beach, and she felt a part of her settle in the peace. For two weeks, every day had been a rush—a constant hum of voices and activity. She had missed the tranquillity of the library but now, on this beach, where there wasn’t another soul for miles, Helia found what she had been craving.
It had been quiet the night before, too, when Vasili had turned out the lights. Except that silence had been deafening. As loud as a scream. All she’d been able to feel in the dark was his presence. The want that coursed through her. The need to reach out and touch him.
When he had turned out the lights it had felt as if they had entered a void where there was no escape from her attraction to him. Where it had become a physical entity. There had been no distraction in the darkness. Nowhere to focus other than on herself and him.
Her nails had scraped against the sheets as she had fisted the linen, trying to stop herself doing something terrible like reaching for him. She had almost considered erecting a physical barrier between them. There were enough pillows in the room. But she’d known she couldn’t do that and show Vasili how much he affected her.
Then she remembered how she’d woken up, and that felt like a dream itself.
She walked the length of the beach before turning around and walking back towards the resort. But she couldn’t go back there yet and risk facing him. She dropped down onto the sand, hugging her knees as she gazed out at the water, pondering how much her life had changed.
It hadn’t been that long ago when she’d wished she could see more of Thalonia. She’d earned a comfortable wage working at the palace. More than comfortable. But, as much as she’d wanted adventure, staying close to her books was safe. Books kept the loneliness at bay. Books couldn’t be taken from her, wouldn’t desert her.
The life Vasili was proposing would be a lonely one. She wanted to experience passion with him—of course she did—but how could she agree to never falling in love or never having children when she had no idea what the future might hold?
And now she was in a paradise she would never in her wildest dreams have been able to visit before, on a honeymoon that was simply a pause. Because once they returned to Seidon, Helia would have to fight to achieve her dream. Then it would no longer be a dream...would no longer be a niggle at the back of her mind, something she wished she could make happen. It would be reality.
Helia was lost to her thoughts as she stared out at the turquoise waters. Paying no attention to her surroundings, she heard nothing when someone stepped onto the sand, surprising her as she felt him sit beside her.
‘Good morning, Helia,’ Vasili said. His gaze was cast out over the sea as well. ‘Did you sleep well?’
Not at all. But she couldn’t admit to the reason.
‘I did, thank you.’
‘I always forget how beautiful it is out here.’
‘Have you been here often?’
‘Not as much recently.’ He glanced over his shoulder at the resort. ‘But a few times in the past.’
Of course he had. Helia’s stomach sank as she imagined the kind of company he had come here with.
‘It’s a beautiful morning for a swim.’
‘I don’t think that’s a very good idea.’
Not for her, at least. While it wasn’t an invitation on his part, she needed to ensure that they spent as little time together as possible. And besides, swimming was never an option for her.
‘Why not?’
She could feel him looking at her, so she turned towards him to give him an answer. It was another way in which she was lacking. Another simple skill that the Queen of Thalonia didn’t have. And what an embarrassment that would be. Yet another way she was inadequate.
‘I can’t swim,’ she said softly.
Shock crossed his face. ‘How is that possible? We live on an island. The sea is in our blood.’
‘I love the sea. There is a quiet little spot near the lighthouse where I go to be alone. It’s my favourite place.’ Helia could see the curiosity on his face. Turning back to the water, so he couldn’t see the pain on hers, she continued. ‘But I’ve never been in the water.’
‘Ever?’
‘Ever.’
The grief that often reared its head when she thought of her father smashed into her, but she had learnt how to keep it from showing to the people around her.
‘My father owned a business and was always too busy to teach me how to swim. It wasn’t something taught at our little school, and after he passed away I never had an opportunity to learn.’
It was as if a tidal wave of sorrow poured from Helia, even though Vasili could see that she was trying to hide her feelings. It made him want to pull her into his arms and protect her from this heartache that she carried around.
Vasili was fighting his curiosity about her. He shouldn’t want to know more. What he learnt would make no difference to their strange relationship, no matter how much he lusted for her.
‘What about your mother?’ he asked.
She shook her head. ‘I never knew her. She died when I was an infant.’
‘So it was just you and your father?’
‘Yes.’
Vasili had always felt alone, despite having a family, but Helia...she truly was alone. Well, not any more. Because his ring did sit on her finger, even if it was impossible for him to be the kind of husband she would want.
The way she looked at the water, with such longing, broke his heart. It was true that Vasili had to protect himself from Helia. To prevent her from getting too close. But he wouldn’t let the situation they were in change the man he was—and that man would never be cruel enough to leave someone drowning in their grief. In their loneliness.
Like you are?
Standing up, he ignored that voice, holding out a hand to her instead. ‘Come with me.’
She hesitated before placing her hand in his. ‘Where are we going?’
‘You’ll see.’
He released her hand as soon as he’d pulled her up, leading her to the massive sparkling blue pool on the deck. He descended the steps one at a time, feeling the water rising with each step, until he was waist-deep, his feet planted firmly on the floor of the pool.
He turned back to Helia then, holding out his hand with an inviting smile. ‘Join me.’
Vasili watched her closely as he waited at the wide steps.
Her eyes darted the length of the pool. Fixating on the deep end.
‘Don’t think about that yet. Just join me over here.’
Satisfaction and heat battled for dominance within him as he noticed the way her gaze travelled from his upturned palm to his body. She was drinking in every inch of his bare skin.
‘Trust me.’
The two words had her gaze meeting his, and then, with a deep breath, she screwed up her courage, peeled off her kimono and slowly stepped into the water.
Pure pride washed through him, but he pushed that aside. Pride wasn’t something he would allow himself to feel for this person he was trying to keep at arm’s length.
Vasili moved towards her, and she latched on to his hand the moment he offered it.
‘That’s it,’ he encouraged, leading her to the next step, and the next, until she was standing with him.
‘How do you feel?’ Vasili asked. He could see how tense she was.
‘Okay for now.’
‘Just breathe, Helia. The water is shallow. Relax.’
She nodded, but his heart twisted at seeing all her confidence vanish.
‘I won’t let anything happen to you.’
‘I believe you,’ she said, in a slightly tremulous voice.
Her beauty paralysed him. Vasili stood in the water with her, taking in the way her swimsuit covered her up but left little to the imagination. As bikinis went, it was modest. Vasili had been on boats with women who wore far less. Yet this green garment had him in a chokehold. It revealed just enough of her breasts for him to picture kissing them. Leaving his mark on them. Her bare stomach was flat, with little droplets of water...
He spun Helia around in order to regain control over himself.
Swallowing thickly, he lowered his voice just a little as he placed his hands on her arms. ‘We’re just going to get you used to a simple movement.’
He felt her shudder but pushed on, moving her arms in slow circles.
‘I’m no expert, but shouldn’t I be doing this in the water,’ she teased.
‘You could try, but I don’t think you would enjoy being underwater all that much. I hear breathing is difficult.’
‘Fair enough.’
How was it that she made him smile, laugh so easily, when that was the last thing he wanted to do. Why did she make him feel lighter?
Vasili made her practise the strokes until he was certain that she was doing them perfectly.
‘Now come to the side,’ he instructed. ‘You’re going to hold on to the wall and kick your legs. Don’t worry, I will be holding you,’ he added, when he could see she was about to protest.
He helped her into position, placing his hands on her stomach under the water, holding her up while she learnt how to kick the right way. He could hear himself giving her directions, but all he could think about was that she was exactly as soft as he’d thought. That he wanted to say screw the swimming lesson so he could hold her against his body and show her what that damn bikini was doing to him.
Slowly he moved her away from the wall so she could get used to the feel of the water.
‘Don’t panic. I’ve got you. I’m not letting go.’
He never wanted to, and now he was cursing himself for offering to teach her—because he might not be able to see her beautiful face or her tempting breasts, but he had a constant eyeful of her perfect derriere. Everything about her was perfect. It was driving him mad.
Every time he had her doing a different movement she would clutch onto him as if he was her lifeline, her body rubbing against his. His hands were all over her, and he was going crazy with want. He couldn’t think straight any longer. All he wanted to do was press her against the wall and kiss her. Kiss her until she knew nothing but his name. Hear her scream out for him as he pleasured her in every way he knew for as long as possible.
He drew her back to the shallow end, putting a little distance between them. He had to, or he would have no willpower left.
‘I think that’s enough for one day.’
‘Oh. Um...okay.’ She frowned.
‘It’s been hours. I don’t think you want to exhaust yourself on the first day.’
Excuses. And flimsy ones at that. He was trying to run from her because she made him let down his guard. She made him feel less alone. And he couldn’t give that power to her.
‘Vasili...?’ he heard Helia say.
Maybe it had been a mistake, marrying her. If he had listened to Andreas and married some princess he didn’t care about he wouldn’t be tempted like this. Wouldn’t be so attracted to her that he was in physical pain. He would have loathed her too much ever to get close.
‘Are you okay?’
Helia had started moving closer to him, and all he could do was make his way to the steps.
‘Yes, I’ve just remembered I have some things to take care of. Will you be okay to entertain yourself?’
‘Yes, of course.’
He nodded once and then, without another look at his wife, Vasili grabbed his towel and disappeared into the chalet.