Chapter Five
THE DRILLING IN Athena’s head was different to the drilling of Draco incessantly ringing her doorbell to wake her.
Had she changed the tone, she wondered blearily before she blinked her eyes open and memories flooded back, at the same moment she realised her pillow was a human chest and that much of her warmth came from the arm hooked around her.
Draco.
Her heart ballooned into her tightening chest, and she closed eyes suddenly filled with hot tears.
Chin wobbling, she concentrated with all her might on breathing, the only way she knew to stop tears from falling, unable to think of anything but that she was in bed with Draco and that he’d saved her.
Oh, God, what must he think of her? If he’d hated her before, he must despise her now, and in her weakened state she didn’t have the mental strength to tell herself she didn’t care what he thought of her.
She couldn’t stay here like this. She needed to find a way to thank him for taking care of her that didn’t sound pathetic and didn’t make his disdain for her rise even higher, and then go home and clean herself.
She wished she could clean her soul too.
If she could extract herself without waking him, she would write a note of thanks and leave without a scene.
Or she could message her thanks to him. He’d programmed his number into her phone and made her send him a message so he had the right number for her, for the sole purpose that if she did a disappearing act in the office he could contact her and demand she get her backside back to her desk.
Extracting herself proved harder said than done. Somehow, she’d managed to cocoon herself in the section of duvet that wasn’t trapped beneath him, and she had to wriggle away from him and use her hands to dig herself out of its confines.
Her head had never pounded with such strength. Clutching it, she eased herself upright. On the bedside table facing her sat a large glass of water and two painkillers. She looked at them, blinking back more tears at this unexpected kindness.
It was as she was shakily putting the empty glass back down that he spoke. ‘How are you feeling?’
She closed her eyes and summoned the breeziest smile she could muster and hoped it sounded in her voice. ‘Like I need to go home.’
‘I’ll take you back later. When you’re feeling stronger.’
‘I feel fine,’ she lied, ‘and I wouldn’t dream of putting you out any more than I already have. What you did for me last night…’ She swallowed a breath, swallowing tears with it. ‘Thank you.’
She felt the mattress move as he sat up. She couldn’t bring herself to face him. Didn’t think she’d ever be able to look him in the eye again.
He hauled himself over to sit beside her, his feet resting on the porcelain floor a safe, respectable distance from hers. ‘You remember?’
Gaze locked on the now empty glass, she nodded. ‘Some of it’s hazy, but I think I remember most of it.’ Her voice dropped. ‘I know how lucky I am that you were there. I’m sorry for ruining your night.’
His gruff voice was heavy. ‘You didn’t.’
‘I did. You probably wanted to carry on partying after it all happened, but I clung to you like a limpet. I guess it’s because you appeared when I needed you.
’ And the moment he’d put his arms around her she’d felt protected and safe, feelings she hadn’t felt since she was a child, feelings she’d been too weak to resist or fight.
She extended her neck and lifted her chin.
‘Anyway, now’s your chance to get it over with. ’
‘Get what over with?’
‘The bollocking for being stupid enough to have my drink spiked.’
She heard him exhale a long breath. ‘The only blame for the spiking goes to the men who did it. That wasn’t stupidity on your part, that was all them. They had those drugs with them for a reason. If it hadn’t been you, they would have fixed on someone else.’
‘But they chose me for a reason. They knew who I was. They thought I was easy prey.’
After a long silence, he said, ‘Would you blame a rape victim for being raped?’
She whipped her stare to him. His gaze was fixed on the wall. ‘Of course not.’
‘Then why are you victim-blaming yourself?’
She turned her gaze back to the glass and whispered, ‘Because everything is always my fault.’
His voice became even heavier. ‘I don’t know about everything, but I know about this, and this was not your fault, not even a little bit.’
Oh, God, she was having to swallow back even more tears.
‘I didn’t know how dangerous it was out there,’ she quietly admitted once she had control of her tears.
‘I should have known. I should have been better able to protect myself, but I’ve always been protected from predators and, in many ways, protected from myself.
Whenever I’ve gone clubbing before, I’ve always known that, whatever happens, I will get home safely because my father paid people to keep me safe.
’ She finally mustered a laugh. ‘Do you think this was what Alexis meant when he said he wanted me to spend time in the real world so I could appreciate the privilege of my life?’
‘Absolutely not.’ On this, as with everything else, Draco was firm.
He didn’t believe for a second that Alexis had wanted his sister to be endangered.
Unwittingly, though, that was what his drastic action of cutting all his siblings off, installing them in poky flats and leaving them to fend for themselves had brought about.
If Draco lost everything overnight, he’d survive, because he’d grown up poor and so he knew how to survive.
Athena had never had to survive. She’d never had to manage her own finances or clean up after herself, and she’d never had to worry about her personal safety.
Always there had been people to do those things for her.
However noble Alexis’s intentions, setting Athena loose without any backup had been cruel. You wouldn’t set a mollycoddled, pampered pet out in the wild and expect them to survive.
What a damned family, he thought darkly. The whole bloody lot of them.
‘How steady are you on your legs?’ he asked, needing a change of subject.
‘I don’t know. I haven’t tried to stand up yet. Why?’
‘Because I was going to suggest a shower. You’ll feel more human for it. I’ve clothes you can change into.’
‘I…’ Her voice caught. ‘I can shower at home.’
‘Stay here a while longer. Shower and get some food in you. Then we can look at taking you home. Okay?’ he added when she didn’t respond.
‘Okay,’ she whispered.
Shyness was not something Athena had suffered from before, but she entered Draco’s dining room feeling tongue-tied and hot of cheek.
The time spent showering had been time spent thinking and remembering, and what she’d remembered made her want to hide under a rock.
Although she’d remembered everything when she’d woken, it had all been a little hazy and abstract.
Standing beneath the shower had cleansed her mind as well as her body, rinsing away the haziness and allowing her to remember in clearer detail how she’d clung to him as if he represented a form of sanctuary. How she’d begged him not to leave her.
The last person she’d begged anything from had been her mother when she’d closed her ears to Athena’s screams and left without her. Her mother purported to love her, but still she’d left.
Draco didn’t even like her, but he’d stayed. He’d stayed with her the whole night when he must have wanted to be anywhere else. He was under no obligation to her, but still he’d stayed.
Decency without an agenda was in short supply in the Tsaliki world, and she didn’t know how to respond to it or how she could ever repay it. Probably the best way to repay it would be to get out of his hair and leave him to enjoy the rest of his weekend without her malign presence poisoning it.
Strangely, she felt more naked being fully clothed in front of him in his tan workout joggers she’d had to roll the waist and heels to vaguely fit and black sweatshirt than she did when half her body was on display.
It didn’t help that her face was bare of the make-up she always wore as a form of armour.
He rose in greeting. He’d showered too. She could smell the clean freshness beneath his cologne: those scents that all enhanced the natural smell of Draco she’d spent so many car journeys trying to block out of her senses.
The glance she allowed herself told her he’d trimmed his beard and shaved his neck.
The light navy sweater, sleeves rolled to his elbows, and black jeans he wore was the first outfit she’d seen him in that wasn’t a suit.
The maids who’d hovered outside the bathroom while she’d showered and escorted her down the stairs helped her into the chair facing Draco’s before melting away.
The table was laden with pastries, bread rolls, toast, fresh fruit, dried fruit, yoghurt and varying condiments.
‘Please, help yourself,’ he said. ‘Coffee?’
She shook her head. Her stomach still felt a little too fragile to manage anything but the blandest food. ‘Just water, please.’
The butler poured her a glass from a jug and then he, too, melted away, leaving the two of them alone.
‘Feel better for the shower?’
‘More human,’ she agreed, not looking up from her empty plate. She was still having trouble looking at him.
‘If your stomach’s feeling tender, toast should help.’
As she reached for a slice, she noticed a black cherry blossom tree with what appeared to be some form of Asian symbol beneath it tattooed on the inside of his forearm, something she’d never seen before.
It was after she’d finished her toast that curiosity got the better of her and she asked, ‘What does your tattoo represent?’
‘The symbol is my mother’s name in Japanese,’ he answered steadily.
‘When I was growing up, her dream was to go to Japan in spring to see the cherry blossoms. I had the tattoo done when I was eighteen as a tribute to her and for what it represents—the hope that comes with the new beginnings of spring.’