Chapter Five #2
‘Just consider for a moment the life I can provide for you. The security and comfort,’ he added, making a point of looking around the room. ‘Far more than you’ll know here. You have to admit it’s a little cramped—what will it be like when you add a baby to it?’
His line of questioning cut too close to her own fears and concerns for her not to react. ‘I’m only staying here temporarily—until I find someplace of my own.’
It was only as she watched his quick mind seize upon that information that she realised her error in snapping back.
‘Why only temporarily? What happened to where you were living previously?’
‘I… I had to move out,’ she explained falteringly, loath to say any more than that because she knew that the truth would only weight the case in his favour.
‘Because…?’
‘My stepmother doesn’t approve of the pregnancy,’ she said when the silence became unbearable. ‘Or how I came to be pregnant.’
His eyes narrowed, reading between the lines of what she’d said. ‘She threw you out?’
Serena could only manage a small nod of her head, the pain of it still raw, the way she had failed her siblings still a barbed lump rolling around her chest, as well as her failure to find a way to fix it.
‘Your father didn’t have anything to say about that?’
‘My father passed away six years ago,’ she shared, her heart sore.
Caleb’s expression changed; so too did his body, angling more fully in her direction.
In an instant, she was under the intense spotlight of his gaze, and that made her feel unaccountably breathless.
Trapped. Especially as his expression was suddenly so full of sympathy.
‘Serena, I’m so sorry. That must have been—must still be—awful for you. ’
‘It was a long time ago. It’s fine.’
Wrenching her gaze away, she tried to think about something else, anything else, because that show of heartfelt sympathy was pushing on something that she didn’t want to be touched.
Couldn’t afford to be touched. Because she needed to remain strong, just as she’d always had to be, and if she were to dwell on how much she longed for her parents right now, or how alone she felt in the dark of night and how truly, deeply worried she was for the future, for Kit and Alexis, for her baby, she might just fall apart and she couldn’t do that.
And why was it sympathy from this man, of all men, that was threatening to undo her? Threatening to unleash a torrent of emotion that would drown her, when for years she had mastered the art of squashing and compressing and storing it neatly away.
‘It’s not. Losing both parents at such a young age isn’t something anyone should have to live through.
’ There was such sincerity in his voice that her fight only grew harder.
‘And not having family support must be difficult. I know I’m not offering anything traditional, but I can provide plenty more.
A home. Security. Support. Anything—everything—you could want.
And our child will grow up with both of their parents in their life.
’ He levelled her with eyes that suddenly seemed to be made of steel.
‘Which is as it should be, Serena. You know that. It matters to you that our baby grows up knowing who their father is, or you wouldn’t have told me about the pregnancy at all. ’
She cursed his logic. And when had he moved so close to her?
His sudden nearness sparked an attraction that flared too hot and fast for her to have any hope of resisting.
Or, much to her annoyance, concealing. She could feel his heat and power and strength winding their way around her like the threads of a spell, rendering her immobile.
She could only stare up at him, saying nothing but feeling everything.
If Caleb saw or felt those shimmers of reaction streaking through her, he didn’t show it.
‘I’ll give you some time to think it over. I’m sure that with a little consideration, you’ll see it’s the right thing to do. I’ll see myself out.’
His eyes flashed down at her a final time before he turned away, stalking to the door, which he closed softly behind him. Only then did Serena realise how badly she was shaking, reeling from both his proposal and his presence.
The last thing she’d expected was for him to show up.
She thought he’d be so eager to get to the South of France that he’d sprout wings and fly there himself, never to be heard from again.
Just like Lucas. A brief pain pulsed in her heart as she remembered the agonising moment she realised he’d gone.
And after that hurt had come the bruising disappointment.
In him, but mostly in herself. For believing in Lucas so ardently that she’d ignored the warning signs that he wasn’t who she wanted him to be and dismissed words of caution from others, including her stepmother, that he wasn’t the right guy for her.
But she had been so in need of someone in her life.
Someone to love her and hold her and fill that enormous empty space the loss of her parents had left.
At least when she’d lost her mum, she’d still had her father.
But when he died, there was no one. It was that aloneness that had been the hardest and scariest thing to deal with, and when, after only a matter of months, Marcia had started changing the house to suit her tastes, it had felt as if there was nothing left of the life she’d once known.
Outside of her brother and sister, the only solace she’d been able to find was her friends, in the noise and laughter and fun that surrounded her when she was with them, drowning out the reality that she was suddenly an orphan.
It was at that time that she’d met Lucas and he’d made her feel so much good that the bad had been pushed away.
But then he’d disappeared, forcing Serena to navigate another loss, followed quickly by the hardest one of all—her baby.
The loss, which in her heart, she’d never stopped blaming herself for, and Serena didn’t want to make any more mistakes—couldn’t—and the only way she knew to do that was to stay separate, rely only on herself.
She’d been doing it so long already that it didn’t faze her—much. Financially it would be challenging, but emotionally it would be far safer. Not being tempted to open herself up, not getting attached to someone only to then lose them and have the bottom drop out of her world again.
But is that the best thing for your baby?
Caleb was offering support and security, a life where their child would want for nothing.
A life with two parents, and she knew how precious a gift that was.
She wanted that for her child. And as much as she feared she had messed up once again, becoming entangled with someone as charming and careless as Lucas had been, Caleb had shown up.
And he was determined to be involved. That made him different.
Serena paced to the opposite end of the room. Had Caleb been right? Had she reacted with her heart, been led by her fears?
But how could she not be afraid?
Life had slapped her in the face time after time. Every time she thought she’d found some stable ground, it had shifted under her. She’d lost almost everyone she’d ever loved, except the twins, but even they were lost to her now too—unless marrying Caleb could solve that also?
But if she agreed—and it all somehow went wrong? And how would she manage her strange feelings for him? How would she manage him? He was impossible and arrogant and high-handed, waltzing in as he had and expecting her to go along with his plan just because he’d decided it was for the best.
She’d only just gotten her life back. The thought of surrendering it again was hideous, and she really didn’t want to. But if it was in the best interests of her baby, and Kit and Alexis, then could she really say no…?
Caleb would have preferred if Serena had agreed to his proposal straight away, but after his many years in business, he was used to dealing with difficult parties.
He knew how impactful walking away from a negotiation could be, how it nearly always spurred the other side into a quick agreement to his terms, so as he made the journey to Serena’s flat the next day, he was sure that after a night to consider her options, she’d be eager to accept his proposal.
Almost sure, anyway. After witnessing her stubborn resistance yesterday, he’d learned there was nothing predictable about Serena.
Any other woman would have leapt at the opportunity to marry him, especially one in her predicament.
An orphan. Banished from her home. No family support.
It was hard to comprehend how much she had been through.
It had hurt him to hear it, and he’d been overcome by a surge of protective instincts he hadn’t known he possessed, wanting to provide the security and support that she’d been denied and to make everything bad in her life better, which was crazy, because when had he ever made anything better for anyone?
But he knew that their marrying would benefit Serena greatly, even if she was unwilling to see it.
For one thing, she’d have a home that she couldn’t be evicted from, and one with more square footage then a shoebox.
She’d also have financial security for the rest of her life, but more importantly than all of that, she wouldn’t have to raise their child on her own.
She’d known enough struggles in her life already; he didn’t want her to have to navigate parenthood alone too.
As he prepared to press again for her hand in marriage, those emotional considerations were as strong in his mind as the practical ones.
No longer was he only thinking of pleasing his father with the continuation of the family line, or of guaranteeing his child’s lifelong financial security, but of ensuring a better future for Serena too, free from any further angst. Caleb wasn’t sure how he felt about that.