Chapter Seven
Serena looked anywhere other than at Caleb as they sat opposite one another at the table exquisitely set for two.
Her body was still vibrating and her lips tingling with the want that had coursed through her and been left unsatisfied.
She was so angry with herself for wanting the kiss so badly, and angry with him, for being able to step back so easily and then demanding she sit down to eat with him.
Because with every interaction with him, Serena felt less in control of the situation, and even more worryingly, of herself.
‘A contract is being drawn up and will be delivered to you before the wedding for your review and signature,’ Caleb began, after their first course was laid before them. ‘But I thought it would be a good idea for us to go over in person some of the main details of what our marriage will entail.’
‘A contract?’ The word caused unease to prickle along her skin, making her think of rules and consequences, reminding her too much of life under her stepmother. ‘Is that necessary? This isn’t a business deal.’
He dealt her a quelling look. ‘That’s exactly what this is, Serena. A short-term merger so to speak. The contract just lays out all the particulars.’
She started to feel hot all over, trapped again. ‘What if I don’t like the “particulars” in this contract?’
‘Since that’s what we’re going to discuss now, I don’t foresee that being a problem.
Now, the contract will state that we will remain married for a minimum of five years and then divorce at some point of our choosing after that, at which time we will share custody of our son or daughter equally and move forwards co-parenting. ’
‘Share custody?’ Serena repeated, her hand settling protectively over her stomach.
‘Unless you would like me to take primary custody.’
‘No. If anyone should have primary custody, it would be me, the mother.’ She had already lost one child and felt similar pain slicing through her at being separated from this one.
‘But as already stated, I refuse to be apart from my child, and since you seem to feel the same, shared custody is the only option. Now, in terms of where we’ll live as a family, I assume you won’t want to leave London.’
‘Of course not. Kit and Alexis are there.’
‘Which I fully anticipated, and that suits me fine. With the European expansion, I had planned on relocating to Europe, and London is an ideal base. I’ve had my team researching properties and I feel this is the best. I’m sure it will be to your liking too.’
He held out the tablet for her to view the images of the chosen property, and although recognising that he’d shown a certain consideration in selecting London as their base because of her family ties, Serena still frowned at his instinctive autocratic ways.
He said they’d be discussing things—only he didn’t seem to know the meaning of the word!
‘What do you think?’
‘It’s fine, but…’
‘Very good,’ he said, lifting the device from her hands and not letting her finish before continuing on with his agenda.
‘As I mentioned, I’ll travel often for business.
The majority of the time I’ll go alone, but on occasion you will be required to accompany me—and it goes without saying, play the role of loving wife.
For example, the opening of the beach club here in a few weeks.
You’ll be by my side. There will be other events that you’ll attend too—banquets, charity galas, social parties.
My assistant will coordinate your calendar so you’ll know in advance when and where you’ll be required.
Obviously, we’ll take into account the pregnancy, especially as it progresses.
No one is expecting you to exert yourself. ’
No, just to pass over control of her calendar, as well as the next five years of her life to him, apparently.
The disquiet spiking her blood grew hotter, and her head started to spin, overwhelmed by his high-handedness.
‘Have you forgotten that I work full time?’ she reminded him, determined to be heard this time.
‘I can’t be taking time off to travel and attend parties whenever you summon me. ’
He looked back at her, untroubled. ‘I’m sure we can work it out. You don’t even need to keep working if you don’t want to.’
‘You expect me to give up my job?’
‘No. But it’s an option. I’ll be providing for you financially now.’
‘Caleb, that’s generous, but I’m not sure I’m comfortable giving up that aspect of my independence. It’s important to me that I’m able to take care of myself.’
‘Even once the baby is born?’ he queried. It made Serena wary to look that far ahead, not when there was so much time for things to go wrong. ‘Because I don’t love the idea of our child being raised by an army of nannies.’
Serena couldn’t clamp down her annoyance at his he-who-shall-be-obeyed tone. ‘So, you do expect me to stop working?’ she demanded, reeling. ‘Why did you say you wanted to discuss all of this, when you seemed to have made all of the decisions already, without so much as a conversation with me?’
‘We’re having a conversation now,’ he responded, his coolness only making her feel worse because she was so overwhelmed. ‘And I haven’t made any decisions, I’m only expressing…’
‘You’re telling me how it will be,’ she interrupted hotly, feeling like she was eighteen again and back in her bedroom, being told by her stepmother the rules and behaviours she was expected to adhere to, her world narrowing with each passing second. ‘What I will do and when I’ll do it.’
Her frustration burned so hotly that her heart battered against her ribs as she saw her future unfold without her having any voice or autonomy in it. Again.
For a brief moment it had actually been within her power to write her own future, but now this.
Him.
She couldn’t help but think of all of the things she’d lost and missed out on as her life had been steered by another hand, and her throat thickened as that feeling of powerlessness descended again.
Truthfully, she didn’t want a nanny raising her child either, but she wanted that to be her decision.
Or an actual discussion between them. Not a law laid down that she was expected to obediently follow.
But he was so…domineering. She couldn’t even loathe him for it, because he had used that resolute power to subdue her stepmother.
Without him being the way he was, who he was, she would still be stuck in that hell of yesterday.
She fought to remain calm, to stabilise the punching of her heart, but emotion was building, stacking higher and higher until there was only panic.
‘Serena…’
‘No. Stop talking. Please.’
But it didn’t help. She pushed herself to her feet.
‘Where are you going?’ he demanded.
‘I need a minute. I’m not asking,’ she warned him as his mouth opened and she swept past him, taking the path down to the beach, called by the openness of the sea and sky, the way it stretched even farther than she could see, full of possibilities and no limits.
She’d never forgotten the stories her mother had told her of her time as a young artist in Rome and Paris and London.
Serena had dreamed of following in her footsteps, even more so after she’d died, knowing it would keep the memory of her mother close, and she would have had the opportunity to live and work in Paris or Florence as part of her degree.
It was that which had kept her focused, kept her grief over her father’s passing and miscarriage from swallowing her completely.
But right when she’d been on the cusp of it, Marcia had intervened, forcing her to choose between herself and the twins.
There had been no choice to make. Leaving Kit and Alexis was unthinkable, but letting go of her dreams had been so hard. It had been like letting go a piece of herself, and a piece of her mother. She wasn’t losing anything as profound this time, but the emotion was the same nonetheless.
Serena didn’t realise she was crying until she felt the teardrops drop to her chest. Lifting a hand to her face, it came away wet, but the release felt good, the pressure on her chest easing substantially.
She had held everything in for so long, having to be strong, that this moment of privacy in which to break down was a gift, and she felt better for it.
‘Are you ok?’
Serena sucked in a breath. The last thing she wanted was for Caleb to see her in tears. ‘I’m fine.’
She had survived her stepmother and would handle this too. Because she wasn’t a young girl anymore, frightened and fragile, and she wouldn’t let this be the same. Wiping her face dry, she squared her shoulders and turned across the sand towards him.
‘Let’s go back to dinner and finish our conversation.’ Calmer now, she had terms of her own to assert.
But as she passed by, Caleb’s hand snatched out and seized her arm, halting her. His eyes raked over her face. ‘You’ve been crying. You’re upset. What’s wrong?’
She tried to tug her arm free because his touch was scorching her skin and as that heat sank deep into her blood and her bones, her pulse skittered. But what shook her even more was the concern she read in his eyes, a concern that had long been absent from her life.
When she’d miscarried, Serena had had to take herself to the hospital.
There hadn’t been anyone to hold her hand or stroke her hair as she’d tensed in battle against the indescribable discomfort.
There had been no one’s shoulder to cry on, no arms to comfort her when the doctor had delivered the bad news and no one to take her home and tuck her in bed to rest and mourn.
She’d had only herself to rely on, and going forwards, that was exactly what she had done.