Chapter Eight #3
The words struck her heart like a bolt of electricity, and as her eyes lifted to his with surprise, she saw the same shock in his.
Although she knew she’d be wiser to let it go, she couldn’t.
Because as much as she didn’t want to give him her heart, her body rejoiced at the thought of being seized by him.
‘I didn’t think you were interested in…more,’ she said carefully.
‘I’m trying not to be.’ The fact that he didn’t deny wanting more with her made her blood fizzle.
‘But you’re not making that very easy,’ he added, casting her a glance filled with longing.
It was the most unguarded she had ever seen him and seeing that power she possessed over him too sent a thrill snaking through her.
‘Don’t worry. I don’t plan on acting on it, or renegotiating our arrangement. It’s better if it remains as it is.’
Serena didn’t disagree, and yet there was a part of her that wondered why?
Which was a bad thought. An unwise one. It was hard enough exercising control of her thoughts without further confusing them with sex, and yet there was always the possibility that giving into their chemistry would bring clarity and not confusion.
If they leant into the sexy, edgy energy and satisfied the beating needs of her body, maybe she could stop fretting that her feelings were more than desire.
She knew Caleb wanted to keep the waters between them clear, and she did too, but provided they both agreed it was about attraction and pleasure only, would it be the worst thing if the lines blurred a little?
Yes, it would, a voice in her head screeched, and Serena quickly shook the crazy notion from her mind, questioning frantically where it had come from.
For the remainder of the dance, she guarded her thoughts carefully, relieved when the song ended and she was able to step away from the temptation of her husband. At least temporarily…
When they arrived back at the villa, Serena was exhausted.
Not from the celebrations, but from the effort of resisting Caleb and controlling her own thoughts and reactions to him, especially after his revelations about desiring her…
That had shaken everything in her, and even though she’d kept a tighter rein on her thoughts, ever since then their interactions had felt even more charged.
Even now, when the pretence was over and she should have been able to relax, she was still achingly aware of the sensual tension oozing in the air between them, making it heavy and hot as it brushed against her skin.
It wasn’t helping that with their arrival back at the villa, she kept thinking of what would be happening were this a real wedding night, her throat thickening as she did, because a part of her was aching for that pleasure-filled release.
‘I guess this is goodnight then,’ she said, breaking the heavy, crackling silence as they hovered in the open plan living space, their bedrooms at opposite ends of the villa.
‘It’s not that late,’ Caleb mused. ‘Stay up for a nightcap with me?’
It was the last thing she’d expected him to say, and though the invite was delivered innocuously, it somehow seemed laced with…
danger. Breathing quickly, Serena contemplated an answer, letting her eyes slowly journey towards his, and as they met, the truth of where the night would end if she agreed shimmered between them.
Her heart launched into her throat. It was only a handful of hours ago that he’d said he had no intention of acting on his feelings, but she sensed they’d gone beyond what he could control now.
She didn’t know how it had happened, or when, but she could taste the inevitability of it, feel the pulsing life force of their mutual desire.
It needed only a single spark to catch alight and send them both up in flames, and she wasn’t sure she was ready to be caught in that inferno.
Are you prepared to not experience it either?
‘I’m not sure that’s the best idea,’ she admitted with a quivering smile, unable to forget the many reasons to resist. The safety in resisting. ‘I think I should just go to bed.’
‘You’re probably right,’ he conceded with a wry smile of his own, his eyes lingering on her, as if savouring his last look of the day. ‘Goodnight, Serena.’
‘Goodnight Caleb.’
On trembling legs, she turned and walked to her bedroom.
Even once alone, her body continued to jostle and she had no idea how she was going to sleep, not with such ferocious want beating in her blood.
Quickly, however, Serena realised she had a more immediate problem.
She couldn’t reach the fastenings at the back of her gown to take it off, and no amount of manoeuvring of her arms was helping.
Asking Caleb for help was her only choice, but she had only just managed to walk away before and wasn’t sure she’d be able to do so a second time.
Why do you need to? You’re both feeling and wanting the same things. And neither of you are looking for it to mean more.
Serena was tired from the effort of denying herself.
She had spent so much time being held back, and not just by her stepmother’s rules, but also, she could see now, by herself.
The events in her life had taken a toll on her, knocking the fearlessness out of her and impressing on her the advantages of caution.
She’d been scared of making more mistakes and bringing on further hurt and disappointment.
But something had happened today. She’d let go of the belief that she had screwed up and the walls that had been holding her in had shattered, releasing all the pain and fear that had plagued her, and she could see more clearly now.
Serena wasn’t the young vulnerable girl she had been, desperately seeking love and family.
She wasn’t going to make the same errors.
She was older now. Wiser. She’d craved a future in which she lived for herself, decided for herself, and if she was completely honest, she knew what she wanted.
All she had to do was trust that she could handle it. Reach for it…
Taking a breath, she pulled open the bedroom door and returned to the living area, only to find it empty, but carried forwards by the new, empowering certainty within herself, she ventured to the other side of the house.
The door of Caleb’s room was slightly ajar, and with another breath, she knocked lightly. ‘Caleb?’
‘Yes? Come in.’
The richness of his voice sent nerves skittering across her skin as she pushed open the door to his private space.
A sole lamp lit the spacious room, the low lighting creating an intimate impression and that was before her eyes found him.
When they did, Serena stilled. He was midway through getting undressed, his black trousers riding low on his lean hips and his chest bare, all hard muscle and gold skin for her eyes to gorge on.
She remembered all too well the feel of him, but the sight of him…
that was something else entirely. An even hotter heat exploded in her middle, engulfing her from head to toe, and all the moisture in her mouth evaporated as her eyes traced the faint line of hair bisecting his torso all the way down to where it disappeared into the band of his trousers.
‘You need something?’ he asked when she didn’t speak.
Levering herself out of her stupor, Serena nodded. ‘I can’t reach the fastenings at the back of the dress, and I was hoping you could help.’
She couldn’t control the warble to her voice, not when she could taste the danger of this moment, feel her feelings ready to catch fire with one single touch that she craved so desperately…
‘Of course.’
As Caleb came towards her, she turned to offer him her back.
Her breath shifted, quickening with the anticipation of his touch, and her stomach was tightening, almost to the point of pain, with the longing that ascended from so deep inside of her.
Gently, he brushed her hair to the side, and as he did so his fingers brushed the sensitive skin of her neck.
It was like being electrocuted, sparks of feeling arrowing in each and every direction.
Shivers travelled across her skin as his fingers moved to undo the tiny buttons, his warm breath fanning over her, his body so close that she could feel… everything.
Strength. Heat. Temptation.
Surrender.
As his fingers moved lower, it got harder and harder to breathe.
The dress was unfastened enough now for her to complete the task, but she made no effort to move and Caleb didn’t remove his hands; instead, they slipped confidently beneath the fabric, settling on her waist and Serena swallowed a gasp at the blissful meeting of flesh. Yes. Touch me. Take me.
His fingers spanned outwards, creeping upwards to brush the base of her breast and this time she was powerless against the shudder that rippled through her. She had never wanted to be touched so desperately in her life, for her breasts to be cupped and caressed, stroked and sucked.
‘Caleb…’ She sighed, pressing back against him in invitation and turning her head for his mouth to claim hers, a kiss that, when it began, was unrestrained.
His tongue stroked the seam of her lips and then delved into her mouth, and with a sigh that seemed to be ripped from the deepest recess of his body, Caleb pulled her tightly against him.
The gown slipped to the ground and his hands roved down her body in a slide that was pure possession.
Excitement bubbled beneath her skin, liking it, wanting it.
Needing it. To be claimed by him. To belong to him in every way possible.
There was no one else she could imagine committing such surrender to.
And this was…essential. Imperative. There was no other way to describe how it felt between them.
She had to seize this gloriousness with him whilst it was here, because happiness never lasted, did it?