CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FOUR
O F COURSE HE ’ S talking about sex!
Love is long gone. He spelt that out just now, careful that there not be any misunderstanding.
If he’d really loved her he’d have trusted in her all those years ago instead of believing father’s lie so easily.
Portia cut off that train of thought. Regrets and what-ifs were luxuries she couldn’t afford. But right here, now, was some consolation for the pain she’d borne.
Mutual hunger, strong and cleansing. Surely enough to wipe away past hurt, if only temporarily.
She craved Lex with every bone in her body. Walking away from him weeks ago had solved nothing and the wanting was as strong as ever. She needed the fiery rapture, the incandescent joy he’d share with her.
Her battered, guarded heart swelled as she read Lex’s glittering gaze. Felt the push of his erection against her abdomen and the answering yearning that had been absent from her life so long. The emptiness.
He didn’t try to disguise his arousal.
His sexual honesty had always excited her. For all his tenderness and care of her, there had always been something elemental, earthy and essential about Lex. Something that called to the wild side of her nature, the part of her that had wanted to run free, away from family rules and expectations.
But Portia wasn’t that young girl. ‘What do you want, Lex?’ He wasn’t the only one who needed to lay out parameters.
His slow-curling smile cut through her emotional boundaries like a hot blade through butter. She felt the loosening inside, not just of muscles and tendons. It felt like a layer of the tension she carried, that had cushioned her for so long from too-close connection, melted away.
‘I want you, Portia. That’s why I came back from Greece, to see you again.’
His honesty stole her breath. That he’d come here for her seemed impossible yet, given her own reaction, utterly right.
Portia lifted one eyebrow, playing for time. She needed to shore up the tiniest bit of self-possession. Because her body clamoured desperately to have this man without thought or caution.
‘Quick sex on the sofa?’
‘I was thinking more of thorough sex on a very wide bed. But if you prefer the sofa we could start there.’
His wolfish smile was like a match to dry tinder. She felt heat saturate her skin all over. Between her legs moisture bloomed.
‘And you’re leaving tomorrow?’
He frowned. ‘The day after. But I don’t—’
‘Good. I’m not after a relationship.’
She couldn’t think that way. Caring led to pain. She’d spent the last decade trying to avoid emotional attachments. Besides, she’d just got to a point in her life where she had a real shot at pursuing her career goals. There’d be no sidetracking now.
Even for the first man who’d made her fully aware of herself as a woman in years.
Slowly Lex inclined his head. ‘Nor am I. I have other priorities at the moment.’
Portia wondered what they were. Family? Business? Once they’d shared their dreams and hopes for the future, believing those dreams would be twined together. How long ago that seemed, like a different life.
It was a different life. The day it ended was still branded in her memory, every detail vivid.
‘Portia?’ His narrow-eyed stare made her wonder if she’d missed something. He seemed to be waiting. ‘So you’re happy with no strings?’
‘Absolutely. I have my own priorities and they don’t include a partner.’
For a moment she thought Lex was going to probe further. But maybe she’d imagined that fleeting frown, for soon enough he was smiling again and she felt the impact deep inside. It was a quickening in her womb. A swirling heat in her blood and a softening of her knees, making her clutch him tight.
He took her weight easily, shuffling his legs a little wider to encompass hers, drawing her in against all that lovely body heat.
Portia felt his chest rise hard against hers. His soft groan of approval teased her nipples, drawing them tight.
His voice was rough and she revelled in the sound of his hunger. ‘So we have an understanding.’
It wasn’t a question but she answered anyway. ‘We do. No strings, no expectations. Just—’
‘Pleasure.’
His hand cupped her eager breast and she sighed her relief. She’d forgotten how good that felt. And when his thumb and index finger closed unerringly around her nipple, darts of fire zigzagged through her.
‘Pleasure.’ It sounded like a promise, and suddenly her humdrum world of hard work and scrimping her pennies turned into something glorious and golden.
‘Show me, Lex. Make me feel...’
His head lowered, his mouth brushing hers, light as the caress of silk on skin. Yet his touch, his nearness, undid her.
Portia had an instant of trepidation, realising how much he made her feel, even with that tiny caress. After so many barren years it shook her foundations.
But she refused to pull back. Her need was so intense it might scare her if she took time to think about it. So she didn’t. Instead she flung herself into the flames, determined, just for one night, to live to the full.
Besides, she’d lost so much, she refused to lose this opportunity for rare delight. No other man in all those years had made her feel this way.
She grabbed his shoulders, straining up on her toes, bringing her mouth fully against his, demanding a proper kiss.
There was an instant of stillness as their lips joined and then her world took fire.
Something broke within her, a constriction, a barrier. Suddenly she was all molten heat and urgent responsiveness. She moulded herself to his tall frame, a sigh escaping as he lifted her higher, his sure strength only adding to her excitement.
Mouths melded, tongues sliding and exploring, rediscovering tastes and sensations that should have been distant memories, but somehow were achingly familiar.
The beauty of their kiss made the backs of her closed eyes prickle. Not with regret, but because she’d forgotten how wonderful a kiss could be.
‘Portia.’ His voice was gravel and velvet, a trail of arousal that spilled from his lips into hers to wind through her needy body.
She shivered and burrowed closer, wrapping her arms around his neck, pressing into him as if he were the one solid thing in her world. Perhaps he was. Everything else reeled away from her.
‘I need you.’ Lex lifted away from her questing lips until she opened her eyes and met his stormy gaze. She shivered again, reading a carnal excitement there that matched her own. ‘Now.’
It took her dazed mind a second to realise he was asking permission. ‘Yes, now.’
Maturity must have changed her, or her memory was faulty. Avid as she’d been for his attention as a teenager, she couldn’t remember ever feeling this desperate.
She clung on tight as Lex swept her up high against his chest and turned to carry her across the room. Just as well. She wasn’t sure her legs worked.
They passed glowing lamps and walls with exquisite artworks but the furnishings were blurred because her attention was fixed on Lex. The taut, masculine angles of that shadowed jaw. The strong, tanned column of his throat. Those lips, slightly reddened from their kiss. Jewel-bright eyes that tracked from her face to wherever he was carrying her, then back again.
Each sweep of his gaze undid another knot inside her.
They reached a bedroom lit by lamps either side of a vast bed with a counterpane of blue and gold. Blue for his eyes. Gold for the bliss that beckoned.
Portia stifled a shaky laugh at the flight of fancy as Lex lowered her to her feet. She didn’t do flights of fancy anymore.
But tonight is an exception. You can let go, just this once.
Her stockinged feet landed on thick carpet. She must have lost her shoes on the way.
The way he looked at her made her feel...precious. Unique.
A jagged breath snagged in her chest and she wrestled the idea away, shoving it into the same locked place in her mind where she’d relegated painful, dangerous memories. She couldn’t afford to read too much into this.
It’s sex. Purely physical. Nothing else.
‘Tell me you’ve got condoms. Because I haven’t got contraception.’
If she’d thought to ease the fraught expectancy of the moment she failed. Because Lex nodded, his eyes aglow with a promise that notched her need even higher.
He opened a nearby drawer, pulled out a box and put it on the bedside table.
Her eyes widened. Either Lex believed in saving money by buying in bulk or...
‘Take your clothes off, Portia.’
Disappointment surprised her. ‘You don’t want to do it?’ She’d imagined his hands on her.
His nostrils flared on a deep breath. ‘You don’t know how much. But I don’t trust myself.’ He shrugged off his jacket and tossed it onto a nearby chair. ‘It’s better that you do it.’
The thought of him teetering on the edge of control only made her need flare brighter. She followed his lead, slipping out of her jacket and draping it carefully over the back of the chair. In a few hours she’d leave here and she refused to do it looking crumpled and thoroughly debauched, even though she suspected that’s exactly how she’d feel.
Excitement skidded through her, making her fumble as she struggled with the zip of her skirt. By the time she’d laid her skirt across the chair, Lex was shirtless, his feet bare.
Portia couldn’t stop a gasp of appreciation. He’d always been handsome, and charismatic with his quicksilver energy. Now he’d filled out, taller, broader, more potently masculine than she remembered. The sight of his leanly muscled torso dried her mouth and drew her touch.
His rich olive skin was hot, the sprinkle of dark hair across his pectoral muscles teased her palms. His brown nipples were tight buds, almost as tight as her own that pushed hard and swollen against her bra.
Her hands trembled as she slipped them across his hot chest, yet her touch was sure and possessive.
She wanted him so badly, needed to claim him.
She leaned in, pressing a kiss to the hollow at the centre of his collarbone, then following his sternum down. His chest rose massively, his indrawn breath a hiss. Elation filled her, knowing he was so susceptible to her touch.
Portia nuzzled his skin, peppering tiny kisses over him, exulting in the way his hands tightened on her hips, anchoring her to him. She reached a nipple, laved it and felt the ripple of his response under his skin. She closed her teeth around him, nipping delicately.
‘Enough!’
Strong hands moved to her shoulders, putting some distance between them. ‘You need to be naked.’
His deep voice was a growl that seemed to have a direct connection to her womb. Internal muscles clenched convulsively at the sound of his voice.
‘You first.’
She reached for the fastening of his trousers but he beat her to it, whipping it undone with satisfying speed. A moment later, as he stepped free of his clothes, Portia gawked at the most stunning form she’d ever seen. His torso tapered down to narrow hips, his musculature impressive, with only an appendix scar to mar what looked like perfection.
His erection proudly defied gravity, as solid and strong as the rest of him.
Dark hair dusted powerful thighs, his legs long and even his bare feet somehow sexy.
It had been years since she’d let herself remember Lex’s body in any detail. Now she felt awed.
‘Your turn.’
Without giving herself time to think, Portia hooked her thumbs through the waistband of her pantyhose and dragged it down, catching her underwear on the way. She slid the fabric down her thighs, past her knees and finally off her feet.
Lex watched with absolute concentration, his gaze tracking the movement. Then, when she straightened, she saw his attention fix on the hemline of her white blouse that hung just low enough to preserve her modesty.
If there’d been any moisture in her mouth she’d have laughed at the idea of modesty. She felt daring and free for the first time in years.
It turned out sexual arousal could block out mundane concerns about making ends meet.
She loved the way he swallowed convulsively, the twitch of his hands as if he wanted to reach for her. His erection bobbed as if eager for her.
Portia reached out but before she could touch, Lex took a step back and sat down abruptly on the bed, reaching for the box of condoms without once taking his eyes off her. ‘Time for protection.’
She watched him tear open a packet, then roll on the condom, wishing it was her touching him.
Suddenly she couldn’t wait. Her hands went to the buttons of her blouse. Surely there were more buttons than usual? She fumbled a little but finally got it undone, turning to drape it with shaking hands over her jacket.
When she turned back her heart leapt. Lex sat on the side of the bed, knees open, eyes so hot she felt tiny ignition points under her skin as fire erupted. He beckoned. ‘Let me, golden girl.’
Golden girl.
It was what he’d called her all those years ago when they’d met secretly in the stables or the old summerhouse, surrounded by its concealing tangle of roses.
He’d called her that the first time they made love, when she’d been full of wonderment. And the last time too, when she’d been fervent with excitement, knowing that from that night they’d be together forever.
They’d been soulmates, or so she’d believed. Lex was the one person apart from her mother who’d accepted her for who she was. The tomboy, horse-mad and romantic. Portia had seen beyond Lex’s taciturn demeanour. He was clever and driven but generous and caring.
‘Portia?’
His eyes bore the glaze of arousal. There were no shadows. No doubts. No what-ifs.
That was what she needed, complete absorption in the moment. No more of the past. No more if-onlys. She closed the distance between them, stopping only when she stood between his thighs.
Lex smiled, his hands finding her bra’s fastening, then smoothing the straps off her shoulders so it fell to the floor. Admiration flared in his eyes and something that might have been awe.
His expression had her arching her back, thrusting her breasts out and into his waiting hands.
Her eyes fluttered shut as he cupped them, his murmured praise a silky ribbon that wove around her body and deep inside, tighter and tighter, making her need escalate.
Portia planted her hands on his shoulders, feeling the rigid muscle and bone and that glorious heat.
‘I need you, Lex.’
‘Soon,’ he crooned against her breast as one hand trailed down her abdomen to the damp nest of curls between her thighs.
A lightning spark shuddered through her and she tried to open her legs wider, only to be trapped by his thighs.
‘No!’ She saw his heavy-lidded eyes snap wide open as she spoke. ‘Now. I don’t have time for foreplay.’ The need was too urgent. She craved the relief of his body with hers.
His mouth hooked up at one corner, his voice a lazy drawl. ‘What do you think we’ve been doing?’
But then he lifted his gaze to meet hers and his expression changed. Understanding pulsed between them and for a second it felt more than sexual.
But that wasn’t possible. They didn’t know each other anymore. They were simply strangers who shared a past.
‘Poor Portia,’ he crooned, as he skimmed his hands along her sides, thumbs brushing the underside of her breasts and stealing her breath. Then he opened his imprisoning legs and slid his hands to her hips. ‘Ride me, then.’
It was the work of the moment to step over his thighs and straddle him, her knees either side of his hips.
His attention dropped to her breasts, bobbing before him and he leaned in to suckle one, drawing slow then hard, making her body hum with arousal. Portia buried her hands in his thick hair, clamping his mouth to her breast as he drove her to the edge of reason.
Eyes the colour of a summer storm cloud looked up at her as he released her breast and nuzzled the other, making her hips shift restlessly. ‘Ride me, Portia. Let me have all of you.’
Then he closed his mouth on her other breast and drew hard.
She bit her lip against the sob of need rising in her throat, and reached down to hold him.
He was heavy between her thighs, hot where he nudged her, and when she sank onto him there was nothing but the sensation of oneness. The stroke of hard maleness against sensitive femininity. The friction that turned anticipation into pleasure and pleasure into desperation.
Eyes closed, Portia rocked against him, driving them together, feeling the unstoppable spark grow and grow.
Lex’s hands were tight around her hips, encouraging yet slowing her too, not letting her race too fast towards oblivion, making her work for each morsel of pleasure.
His mouth was on hers now, murmuring words of encouragement interspersed with groans of delight. They rocked together, moving in tandem, drawing out the gratification with complete sureness as if their bodies remembered every detail of their past loving.
Finally Lex pushed even higher, even harder, biting her earlobe and telling her the other things he wanted to do with her.
She felt the gathering rush at the base of her spine and deep inside. Felt the spasms begin.
Her eyes snapped open and there he was, watching her, joining her, sharing the shock of too-sudden ecstasy. Bliss beckoned, consuming her, so profound she would have been scared but for Lex there with her, looking as stunned as she felt.
Portia heard herself cry out something, heard him whisper her name in a voice that didn’t sound like his. Then there was nothing but his frantic pulsing inside her, the shuddering, wonderful release of her body and rapture engulfed her.