CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FOUR
S USIE WOKE WITH her face buried in the side of Dante’s chest, and it took her a moment to work out not so much where she was, but how they’d made it to his bed.
He’d carried her.
All limp and sated from her first orgasm.
He had carried her here, and then they’d done it again.
With Susie on top.
Gosh.
She rolled onto her back and saw stars. Literally. His ceiling was an artwork of stars and moons and angels and just so many beautiful things that she thought she could stare for ever as she remembered last night.
And then what had mattered little last night suddenly mattered a lot, and she screwed her eyes closed.
Oh, God. They hadn’t used anything.
‘I know.’ His deep voice answered her frantic thoughts and she turned anxious eyes towards him. ‘Common sense seems to have eluded us both last night.’
‘I can’t believe it,’ she groaned. ‘I mean...’ She had known they were unprotected, and so had he! ‘I’m usually so careful.’
‘You said you were on the pill.’
That’s right...
Somewhere before their second time they’d both rather feebly addressed the matter.
‘I am.’
Susie nodded. She was more cross with herself than him. Or simply stunned that she, Susie Bilton, could so completely lose her head.
‘Then we have nothing to worry about. I’ve never had unprotected sex.’ Perhaps he saw the doubt creep into her eyes, because he added, ‘Susie, last night really was an anomaly.’ He seemed to consider. ‘Maybe it’s because...’ His voice trailed off as he attempted to rationalise what had occurred. ‘The change in routine.’ He turned and gave a slow, triumphant smile. ‘That must be it.’
‘That is the most ridiculous excuse ever,’ she chided lightly. ‘So, I’m a change in routine?’
‘You are.’
‘I’m not sure I want to know your usual routine.’
He gave a soft laugh. ‘I meant I’ve never brought a lover here...’
‘Never?’
‘Absolutely not—you saw what that waiter was like this morning...way too interested...’
‘It was lovely, though, wasn’t it?’ Susie said.
‘Very,’ Dante agreed, although he didn’t tend to discuss such events afterwards.
He was about to climb from the bed. Do his usual and offer coffee, to be polite, in the hope that she’d say no. Especially as—bonus—he didn’t have any milk.
It didn’t feel like a bonus, though.
The bonus was her wide-eyed smile.
‘Twice,’ she said, and took a happy breath.
Yet still he lay there.
Usually Dante loathed morning conversation, and he had sometimes wondered if he was the only guy on earth who didn’t particularly like morning sex.
Well, he liked the sex part... Just not feeling like a louse afterwards, for wanting her gone.
But this morning he wanted to prolong the conversation. He looked over at the woman in his bed and did not want her gone.
She was looking up at the art on his ceiling. ‘It’s gorgeous,’ she said. ‘So much detail.’
He joined her looking skywards. ‘It was beneath plaster when I bought the house. The previous owner gave up on a full restoration and concealed it. The dining room has one too.’
‘Gosh...’
‘I found someone in Florence to restore it.’
He had admired it at the time, and on occasions since, but his times here were brief, and generally fraught with memories as he was often here attending memorials. Even celebrations like Christmas made Gio morose and, of course, at times, there was the strain of himself and Sev putting on a front, pretending they still had a relationship...
No, he’d never really taken the time to appreciate what was before his eyes, where planets and stars fought in a deep crimson sky.
But there was a little frown on her face. Perhaps she was still cross about their carelessness last night?
‘So,’ Dante said. ‘What’s your excuse?’
‘Hmmm?’
‘For last night.’
What was her excuse? Susie thought, and was quiet for a moment as she lay pondering his question.
‘I don’t have one,’ she finally admitted, and saw him turn to the sound of her quiet bemusement. ‘I don’t know.’
She wasn’t being evasive—she simply didn’t know how to describe what had happened to her.
‘I’ve never forgotten myself like that,’ she admitted.
‘Forgotten yourself?’ he checked.
She didn’t know how better to describe it, but there had been the light stroke of his fingers on her stomach and then...
She’d had one relationship and so little to compare...
‘I just lost my head,’ Susie said, and she even tried a little joke. ‘Too much ice cream!’
‘Do you want coffee?’ he asked.
‘I do.’
As he rolled from the bed and dressed, she looked at his stunning long legs and taut bottom, and watched as he pulled on some clothes. Gosh, she wanted him to climb back into bed.
‘Are you leaving me here?’
‘I’m getting us coffee. I didn’t let anyone know I was coming.’
‘Anyone?’ she checked,
‘I have a housekeeper. I would usually let her know when I’m staying.’
‘Your home’s stunning.’ She looked at the bold red walls. ‘It’s incredible. Just...’
Susie didn’t quite know what else to say. It was like something out of a lifestyle magazine. But for all that it was lavish, there was nothing here that spoke of him . She looked at the ornate wardrobes and for a brief second wondered if there were even any clothes in them.
She let the conversation die, happy to watch as he raked his fingers through his hair to comb it and ran a hand over his unshaven jaw.
‘How do you have your coffee?’ he asked.
‘Lots of milk.’
‘I shan’t be long.’
It was a little awkward. She lay there silent, but managed a half-smile as he let himself out, then lay there some more and waited for the cringe of utter regret to spike now that she was alone.
Except...there was none.
Now the conversation had been had as to their recklessness, there was none.
She didn’t regret last night at all.
It had been a complete revelation.
A small part of her had thought that deep longing and fevered want didn’t exist for her.
Hauling herself from his delicious bed, she made her way to the bathroom. It was all marble and gold taps. No stars on the ceilings, though, but still decadent.
Bathed and smelling gorgeous, from all his lovely soaps and such, she wrapped herself in a huge towel and stared into the full-length mirror that leant on the bathroom wall... She tried to think of practical things, like where she’d left her clothes.
And although she would have loved to climb back into the high, rumpled bed, she pinched his comb instead.
Back in the bedroom, her eyes were drawn to a thick golden card. She couldn’t help but peek—and then was startled when she got caught...
Dante stood at the door and informed her about what she was reading. ‘The Lucca Spring Ball.’
‘Yes. It looks incredible. Mimi’s told me about it.’
She turned and saw that he had brought up not just coffee but her clothes. It really was time to leave, Susie realised as she replaced the thick card.
‘Sorry...’ She took the coffee from him and truly didn’t know how they should be together. ‘I wasn’t angling for you to invite me.’
‘I would hope not,’ he commented as he moved to lie sideways on the bed and watch her dress. ‘Given it’s six weeks away.’
‘And we’re just for one night.’ She’d got the message and wanted him to know that she had. ‘Anyway, it’s my birthday that weekend.’
‘How old will you be?’
‘Twenty-five—and my parents are coming.’
‘Is that nice?’
‘Very.’ She smiled as she clipped on her bra. ‘I can’t wait to have them here on my birthday.’ She separated her knickers from her tights, wishing there was a more elegant way to do things. ‘And have them all to myself.’
‘All to yourself?’
‘On my birthday.’ She knew she sounded petty and jealous—possibly she was—so she shook her head and smiled. ‘What are you doing today?’
‘I’ll check in on Gio...see if I can get him to talk. We’re not brilliant at it.’
‘How come?’ she asked. ‘I mean, you’re very direct.’
‘Do you talk easily with your family about difficult topics?’
‘No,’ Susie admitted. ‘I just...’ She slipped on her dress and sat on the bed to do up the zip at the back.
He watched her wrestle.
It was by far safer.
Dante was conflicted. He wanted her gone and yet he wanted her back in his bed—and the latter did not sit well for him.
Last night had perturbed him, and his continued desire for her this morning was doing the same.
‘I’m not very good at this,’ she admitted suddenly, and he felt a twist inside at the tense rise in her voice. ‘I mean, I don’t know how I should be...’
‘It’s okay,’ he said, and gave in on not helping. Sitting up, he dealt with her zip, and then he held her hips for a moment, with her back to him. ‘It was a great night.’
‘Yes...’
‘I leave for Milan this evening.’
‘I know that.’
‘I have to go and see Gio,’ he said, as if reminding himself there was a reason he should not prolong this encounter. ‘Sort out all the old jewellery. It’s a job he has been putting off for a long time.’
‘Yes.’ She nodded. ‘I’m sure it will be difficult.’
‘He gets upset...’
‘I meant...’ She swallowed. ‘It will be difficult for both of you.’ She let out a breath. ‘They’re not just his wife’s jewels...’ she ventured. ‘There’s your mother’s jewellery too.’ She didn’t turn her head. ‘He showed me some.’
‘Yes,’ said Dante, rather pleased that her back was still to him, and a little stunned to hear his silent dread about today being acknowledged. ‘He has most of it.’
‘Most? Do you have some?’
Her enquiry, Dante thought, was gentle. And it was a natural question, an invitation to ask if he’d kept some sentimental pieces. But when he’d said ‘most’ that wasn’t what he’d meant.
He briefly thought of the small stones in his safe in Milan, but it was by far too painful to go there.
Even in his own head.
And if ever one day he did, then he would be alone.
Ensuring the agony was wiped from his features, he turned her around within the circle of his hands, her hips beneath his palms, and looked up at her damp blonde hair and pale face.
Why were they ending things here? Dante asked himself.
‘I’d better go,’ Susie said. ‘I have homework...’
Her voice was a little strained and high.
‘What’s your homework?’ he asked.
‘Greetings, thanks and farewells.’ She smiled at him. ‘How do I say Thank you for last night ?’
‘Try,’ he told her.
‘Grazie per la scorsa notte?’
Dante gave in.
‘I could help you with your homework.’
‘Really?’
‘Stay?’
He saw Susie tense as he said the word, as if her body was warning her...
‘I have to go and visit the winery,’ he told her, and then he looked up at her blue eyes. She was uncertain whether to stay, and that helped—because he was uncertain if he should have asked. ‘It’s not exactly fun—I have to speak with the manager and such—but we could get lunch?’
‘I’d like that.’ Susie nodded.
He pulled her down onto his knee. ‘You’ll have to try and keep your hands off me, or Gio and Mimi will find out.’
‘I’m sure I can manage.’
She felt shiny with pleasure—not just because this wasn’t goodbye, it was the way he made her feel.
‘I’m not so sure I’ll be able to,’ he told her, and they shared a slow kiss, his jaw rough and his tongue exquisite. And it was so much nicer to kiss than to say goodbye.
‘You have to go to Gio’s,’ she reminded him as his hands moved her dress up.
He turned her around so she straddled his lap.
‘I know I do,’ he said, with both a smile and a dash of regret.
But even as he went to tip her from his lap she resisted. Not demanding more kisses...she had something to say.
‘Talk to Gio about the jewellery...’
‘Sorry?’
‘You said it was difficult to get him to open up. I think talking about the jewellery with him might help...’
‘We’ve already spoken about it. I told him I would take it to Milan.’ He halted, recalling the conversation. Gio had been talking and he had shut it down.
The jewellery was a painful topic for Dante.
For all of them.
‘Okay,’ Dante said. ‘I’ll give it a try.’
Now Susie stood. ‘I ought to pop back home...’ She gestured to her dress. ‘Get a change of clothes.’
Then she thought of another rather essential matter—her pills, sitting in her bedside drawer.
‘Meet back here?’ he checked.
She nodded.
‘I’ll order a driver.’
‘Pick me up if it’s easier.’
‘I’ve got a lockbox,’ he said. ‘I’ll give you the code. Just let yourself in whenever.’
‘You’re sure?’ she checked.
And no, he wasn’t sure—because Dante did not give out such information, or have people in his space without him. And yet all his rules seemed to be falling by the wayside.
This was more than he’d expected, or perhaps even wanted, but it was hard to let go of bliss, hard to shut the door on such a delicious reprieve.
‘Meet back here,’ he affirmed.
Juliet and Louanna were both practising. Susie could hear the violin and the cello as she climbed the stairs to her apartment.
She went in quietly and headed straight for her bedroom.
Staring into the large wooden wardrobe, she looked at the clothes she had hanging there. A pair of jeans, a spare uniform. Some rather boring jumpers and a couple of thick skirts that she wore with boots.
Certainly nothing that matched her mood.
And her mood was...
She examined her feelings for a moment, as if reaching in and feeling the touchstone of her soul, and knew she was happy. Exhilarated...
Grabbing her toiletries bag, she went and brushed her teeth and then reached for her pills.
Today was Sunday...
So why were Friday and Saturday still in their tiny igloos?
Today , she said to herself, is definitely Sunday.
And it would seem her brain had ceased being sensible on Friday.
The moment Dante had stepped into her life.
‘Breathe,’ Susie told herself aloud. ‘It will be fine.’
She changed into fresh clothes—jeans and a lilac jumper—and then Louanna called out.
‘Are you up?’
‘Yes,’ Susie said, realising as she headed out to the lounge that they hadn’t noticed she’d been gone all night.
‘You look nice.’ Juliet smiled. ‘Are you on your way out?’
‘Yes, I’m going to a winery.’ Susie nodded. ‘With a friend.’
‘You should try De Santis,’ Louanna suggested. ‘For cheap wine, it’s pretty good.’
‘We were thinking of Casadio.’
‘Hah!’ Louanna said. She rolled her eyes and offered an Italian saying. ‘Costare una fortuna...’ A warning that she would pay a very high price.
‘I’ll keep it in mind.’
‘You’re not going to the restaurant there, are you?’ Louanna checked, running her eyes over Susie’s jeans. ‘It’s very elegant.’
‘She looks lovely,’ Juliet jumped in.
‘I’m just saying...’ Louanna shrugged. ‘I’d want someone to tell me if I wasn’t suitably dressed.’
‘Thanks, I think!’ Susie said, smiling to Juliet, who rolled her gorgeous green eyes. ‘I’d better go shopping...’
There was steady rain, so the shops were quiet. She looked in the beautifully dressed boutique windows, but it was all a bit intimidating.
Susie wasn’t offended by what Louanna had said—well, a touch, maybe—and she did appreciate the heads-up. More than that, it had been for ever since she’d shopped for something nice to wear. She’d been saving for her trip, and before that...
She thought of her ex, who hadn’t ever seemed to notice when she’d gone all out, so in the end she hadn’t bothered.
Everyone had been surprised that she’d ended things between them—even Susie had struggled to justify it to herself. The relationship hadn’t been awful, or terrible, or any of those things, but she had suddenly seen how she’d hidden her true self. She had wanted to be more adventurous—not just in bed, but in everything. But she’d stuffed down the little hurts rather than voice them.
Passing the ice-cream shop, she thought of Dante waiting outside the restaurant with a cone.
She didn’t quite get how a simple thing like an ice cream could mean so much.
Was it that he’d thought of her when she wasn’t there? Queued up to get the treat because he knew it was something she liked? That he’d known she secretly wanted that flavour...that he’d noticed.
He made her feel noticed. And even if this was very temporary, it was thrilling, and an adventure, and under his delicious attention she was discovering herself.
She ventured into one of the shops, but she had no real idea what she was looking for.
‘For lunch where?’
The assistant who had offered to help nodded when she said she was going to a winery in the Tuscan hills.
‘Perhaps these?’
She held up some gorgeous black jeans, but then pulled them back when Susie explained that it was Casadio.
‘The cellar door, or the restaurant?’
‘I think...’ She had no idea. ‘I don’t know...possibly the restaurant?’
‘Hmm...’ The assistant clearly considered this a conundrum. ‘Okay,’ she said, heading over to a small rack that sadly wasn’t a discount one. ‘You can dress these up, or...’
She held up a grey woollen dress, but Susie’s eyes had lit on another.
It was the palest blue and the softest wool, and if she was going to splurge for the first time, then... She took a breath. She might as well adore her purchase.
The wool was thin and soft, yet snug, and the neckline was a little scooped, but not too low. There was a thick belt in the same wool, but that dressed it down too much.
‘Look.’ The assistant showed her a gold belt and looped it round her hips. ‘With stilettoes, you could even go to a party.’
‘Yes.’ She laughed. ‘But I don’t really go to many parties.’ Sometimes she was a waitress at them...
But yes, absolutely this could work for a glamorous party.
And for lunch with Dante.
‘I love it.’ Susie nodded.
And she loved the pretty underwear she bought too.
Arriving back at his place, she found the key in his lockbox and stepped into his gorgeous home, hiding the bags because she didn’t want him to know the effort she had gone to.
She looked around the kitchen at the gorgeous copper pots, the huge ovens that could cater for a small party, the wooden bench... There was even a little herb garden in the window, and yet from all he’d told her he was rarely here.
She walked through the hall and into a lounge. The walls were a silky navy and there were beams that ran across the high ceilings. Every room was a masterpiece. It was like viewing a stately home, Susie thought, as she peered into a beautiful dining room.
Yet there was nothing of him .
No photos, no mementoes.
She went back to the kitchen. He didn’t even have one fridge magnet.
Susie collected them wherever she went. Possibly it was one of her many weaknesses.
It unnerved her a little that his house, while stunning, was so impersonal, and it reminded her that Dante got attached to no one. It would be wise to keep an emotional distance.
Yes, the sex was incredible, and he was too, but to get too close to Dante could seriously hurt.