CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
S HE HAD ALWAY S loved their mornings.
‘Morning,’ he said, stroking her spine, and she turned and smiled right into his eyes.
And even if she was unsure of what lay ahead, waking to Dante would always be perfect.
‘You look like a panda,’ he told her.
‘I’m sure that I do.’
They just lay together and stared, and she didn’t quite know what to say.
It was Dante who spoke. ‘I didn’t think to ask you to the ball, because for me the ball is a duty. Yesterday it was the furthest thing from my mind.’ He sat up in the bed. ‘I’ll get coffee.’
‘Tea for me.’
‘Tea?’ He frowned. ‘Do you want some breakfast?’
‘No, thanks.’ Susie grimaced at the very thought, then saw him frown again. ‘Too much champagne,’ she said.
Dante nodded and picked up a towel. She lay back in his sumptuous bed, wondering how she could bear to leave, and how she could possibly stay.
Susie knew she was running away—but she didn’t want to see the disappointment in his eyes. She wanted him to find out from a distance...
Tea? Dante raided his cupboards, but there was no tea to be had.
Then he went into the dining room to collect a certain box, and saw the champagne that had been cooling there floating in a bucket of water.
Susie hadn’t even had a sip of champagne last night.
And she hadn’t yet said yes to an apprenticeship at Pearla’s, when it was everything she wanted.
Dante wasn’t a top attorney for nothing.
She was pregnant.
He waited for the punch in his guts, only it never came. But he did sit down at the dining room table for some time.
He rather guessed she didn’t want to have the baby here. If he was her attorney, he’d advise her to be on a flight back to England straight away.
Susie was possibly leaving. With his baby. But instead of being angry he didn’t blame her.
Had she known when he’d told her about what had happened with Rosa?
Dante put his head in his hands, thinking of their row after the wedding and all he’d said...
A baby.
Why was he just sitting there when he should be pacing?
Why wasn’t he panicking that it was too soon or pounding up the stairs?
A baby...
He kept going back to that...picturing something he’d never imagined for himself. A daughter or a son...
After so much pain and grief, the thought of Susie having his baby felt like a rusty knife being pulled from his chest.
But before all that he had to know Susie’s thoughts.
Dante knew his.
But they both had to speak the truth.
The tea took quite a long time coming—in fact she was half dozing when the bedroom door was pushed open.
‘Happy Birthday to You...’
She started as a gorgeous Dante, who could actually sing, pushed aside his embarrassment, and she simply bathed in the glow as he came in carrying a tray. She sat up, stunned to see there was even a little cake, with a candle lit.
‘You remembered.’
‘Well, it’s not like you let me forget,’ he pointed out. ‘A seven-year-old would be less excited.’
She let out a gurgle of laughter, then sighed in delight when she saw the beautiful cake, her name piped in pink with little silver hearts, and knew it was Cucou’s work.
‘It’s wonderful...’
‘Blow,’ Dante said. ‘I want some cake. It’s your favourite,’ he added.
‘How do you know?’
‘I asked the pastry chef. Raspberry, with liqueur and cream and white chocolate...’
He was slicing away and it was her first proper cake of her own.
Her favourite cake had his bed feeling like a little boat in an ocean storm.
‘I might save it for later. Have a huge slice then...’
‘Too much champagne?’ He put the knife down. ‘You won, by the way.’
‘Won what?’
‘Whatever this competition is with your sisters. They will be very jealous,’ he said as he handed her his phone. ‘You look stunning.’
‘Gosh!’ She looked at the picture of herself arriving at the ball and instead of feeling sad, felt proud to have gone alone. ‘Go, me!’
‘There are a few.’ He scrolled through them. ‘A back shot... Look at that poor guy on the stairs. Homeless from the neck up, as Gio would say.’
She laughed when she saw he was referring to himself.
And she had her photo. Dante was gazing at her, and she at him.
That’s your father and me.
Yes, she had her photo.
She looked up. Did she dare tell him now? Shatter this perfect morning?
No, she decided, because that was for later. This morning was simply about her and Dante. The morning he’d brought her a cake and made it the best birthday ever.
‘Here,’ he said, and handed her a parcel.
It was wrapped in gold paper and there was even a wax seal, and a slender golden rope.
‘It’s beautiful...’
‘I think you have to open it to say that.’ Then he looked at her as a tear slid down her cheek. ‘Why are you crying?’
‘Is this from your PA? The bauble that ends it all?’
‘No.’ His voice was suddenly serious. ‘This is from me. And I admit I’m nervous.’
‘Why?’
‘I have never bought a birthday gift before.’
‘Never?’
‘Not for a long time. Maybe a bottle of whisky for Gio. We don’t really...’ He fell into a silence that said more than words—for him, birthdays and family celebrations had stopped a long time ago. ‘Hopefully you’ll like it.’
He might not have wrapped it personally, but Dante had definitely written the little card attached.
Tutti bella.
Dante
Everything beautiful.
No kiss by his name, and yet her heart was thumping even before she’d peeled off the paper. She already loved it!
The box was walnut and gleaming, and when she opened it up Susie gasped. It was a circle of jewelled flowers, nestled in velvet. Then she saw that it was actually a necklace—and not just any necklace, nor just any flowers.
‘Magnolias...’ she breathed.
There were so many stones and different precious metals, swirls of enamel. Everywhere she looked she saw more. Pale sapphires, pink rubies and little emeralds, seed pearls and delicate flowers.
‘Magnolias...’ she said again. ‘It’s perfect. Where on earth did you find this?’
‘Locally,’ Dante told her, and took it out of the box. ‘Let me put it on you.’
‘I want to see it...’
He wasn’t listening, so she lifted her hair, and he fiddled with the clasp, and then he took a hand mirror from beside the bed.
‘I have never seen anything so heavenly...’
‘I should have given it to you last night.’
‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘It’s perfect for my birthday.’
She started to cry, her panda eyes spreading, and kept peeling tissues from the box he handed to her.
‘Thank you.’
‘You’re very welcome.’ Then he looked at her. ‘And a good choice, given you won’t be here for the magnolias.’
She went still.
‘You’re going back to England.’
‘I never said that...’
‘Aren’t you?’ Dante asked. ‘Can’t we both speak the truth?’
She swallowed.
‘Susie, I wouldn’t want to tell me either.’
Her eyes darted up.
‘But can I tell you one thing? I know I seem ruthless, but I’m not to the people I care about.’
‘Dante...’ She was shaking a little, still unsure what he knew.
‘Incinta?’ he asked—pregnant.
‘I’m late...’
‘The truth, Susie.’
‘I am late.’
‘You don’t have to break it to me gently,’ he said. ‘I think I already know. And I don’t think you’d be talking about throwing in your dream job if you hadn’t taken a test, and you didn’t drink any champagne last night. You don’t want cake now.’
‘Yes,’ she finally said. ‘I am.’
‘When did you find out?’
‘I think I was starting to work it out at the wedding.’
‘Poor thing!’
He actually laughed, just a little, and it was so unexpected—more so the hand that came to her cheek.
‘I did a test on Wednesday,’ she said.
‘So, when were you going to tell me?’
‘Once I got home.’
He removed his hand.
‘I didn’t want an argument, or for you to...’ She shrugged. ‘Do your attorney thing and make the DNA speech.’
‘I was nineteen when that happened,’ Dante said.
‘I get that.’
‘Do you want to go it alone?’ he asked. ‘Seriously, Susie? I am an attorney, but I am not going to plead for marriage or for you to stay here. I am going to do my best, whatever you want...’ Then he added, ‘I’ll be around, though. For the baby. A lot.’
She looked down.
‘Well, depending on work,’ he amended, and she smiled just a little.
She looked up and met his eyes for the first time since she’d nodded and confirmed that, yes, she was pregnant.
‘So, what do you want?’ he asked.
‘There’ll be a lot of gossip if I’m here.’
‘There’s gossip now.’ Dante shrugged. ‘Susie, please tell me what you want, or what you think you want, or something ?’
She was scared to, though.
‘Okay,’ he said into the silence. ‘Shall I tell you what I would prefer?’
‘Yes.’
‘Marriage,’ he said.
‘Don’t say that.’
‘I am saying that,’ Dante told her. ‘That’s what I want. Okay, I’ll tell you my ideal and then you can tell me what you want.’
‘We don’t know each other,’ she argued. ‘We only met a few weeks ago, and you’ve been in Milan most of the time.’
‘And miserable without you.’
‘My God...’ She looked at him then, her eyes angry. ‘You couldn’t even commit to a ball, you didn’t even invite me last night, and now you tell me you want marriage?’
‘I love you.’
‘Okay,’ she amended. ‘Now you tell me that you love me and want to marry me.’
‘I do.’ He nodded. ‘I’ve told you what I want—it’s your turn now.’
‘A pause,’ Susie said. ‘To let the news sink in and so you can get used to the idea.’
There was more silence, and then he arrogantly broke it. ‘That’s your pause—I’m used to it now.’
‘You can’t be...’
‘Are you?’
‘No!’ she shouted, and then she heard her own voice and heard her lie. ‘Yes...’ She was bewildered. ‘I’m not Zen with it, or anything, but...’
‘Let’s talk about us,’ he suggested. ‘The baby’s fine—we’ll work it out. What about us?’
It wasn’t the baby that was the issue now. He would take care of their child, however she wanted to play it, and she loved him for that.
She loved him.
Susie looked at the man she loved, at his chocolate-brown eyes and his unshaven jaw, and she didn’t want him trying to build a future with her just because he felt it was the right thing to do.
‘I think it’s too soon for it to be love,’ she told him.
‘So you want to wait? See what happens? How you feel in a few months? How I feel is not going to change.’
‘I don’t believe you love me, Dante. I think you’re trying to do the right thing...make up for what happened with Rosa.’
‘Do not bring her into our bed.’
‘Or you’re trying to make Gio happy.’
‘Do you know what I do for work? I sit with men and women who have married for the wrong reasons, or stayed together for the wrong reasons, or who are breaking up for the wrong reasons. I am not going to lie about love.’
‘So when did you decide you loved me?’
‘You’re annoying me now,’ Dante told her. ‘I’m the one looking like a fool here. I just told you I love you. Now, if you don’t love me, say so. I can take it.’
‘I do love you.’
‘Good!’ he said. ‘When did you know that?’
Susie thought back, and it was a hard thing to pinpoint... Given their short time frame, she could hardly say it had crept up on her.
‘Always,’ she admitted. ‘I didn’t realise it, but...’ She nodded. ‘Always.’ Then she thought that might be a bit much. ‘Maybe a couple of days in.’
‘Well, I don’t know quite when it happened for me, but...’
‘Please don’t say it if you don’t mean it.’
‘I promise you I would not. I called our jeweller and asked for the necklace to be made on my first day back at work.’
Susie frowned.
‘I think I got cold feet,’ he went on. ‘And then he sent the designs.’
‘You had this made?’
‘I did.’ He nodded. ‘It was to be a farewell gift; I was never going to tell you it had been designed with you in mind. That felt like a bit much. So yes, maybe I did get cold feet.’
She reached up and struggled to take it off, just to take another, better look. Dante knelt up in the bed and helped her.
‘I heard you wanted something chosen specifically for you...your little jealousy issue.’
And then he made her smile and he made her cry as he talked her through the stones.
‘Pale sapphire—that dress you wore. I was like a fifteen-year-old... I told myself it was just sex.’ He pointed to the darker sapphires. ‘Your eyes.’ Then to the little collection of tiny diamonds. ‘The bubbles in the sink at Gio’s...’
Her breath grew shallow as he took her through their time together.
‘The pink and lilac I left to the jeweller, and the grass is enamel, I think, maybe with little gems?’
‘Is it a tiny ladybird...?’
‘No,’ he said. ‘That was a late addition this Wednesday. I had the ruby flown to Signor Adino.’
The air went still.
‘I know you wanted fresh stones, and new metals, but I have never known what to do with the rubies. One for Sev...one for me. I wanted something nice for it.’ He thought for a moment. ‘Yes, I guess I officially knew I loved you on Wednesday.’
Susie turned and kissed him. It was a kiss that wasn’t anything other than a loving kiss, a blissful one, and the bed was still and steady now, all nerves gone.
‘Marry me,’ he said. ‘Up in the hills. Because when I think of them now, I think of you.’
‘Marry me,’ Susie said. ‘I get to ask,’ she told him, ‘because I loved you first.’ She smiled.
‘Well, I’m not so sure about that...’
It was a delicious debate to have.