Chapter Six
Heather was having so much time trouble concentrating on her work she was starting to worry that she was going to have to tell her author that she couldn’t meet the time frame she had promised to get her notes back by.
She had felt so gray and awful ever since leaving the estate.
And having all of the monetary things filtered through lawyers wasn’t helping the way she had thought that it would.
Because it felt impersonal and terrible, and she felt like she had been turned inside out.
It was all evidence of just how much awfulness had passed between her and Romeo, and…
Her body couldn’t forget. She kept herself awake all night, every night, reliving what had passed between them, and then in the morning she was exhausted, sick to her stomach.
The grief mixed with all of this was just too much to bear.
She was grateful that she was doing mainly remote work, but she also sort of wished that she did go into an office every day, because at least she would be forced to get dressed and interact with people.
This was all virtual meetings and chats, and it made it far too easy for her to disguise that she was unraveling.
The missed deadlines would definitely betray her.
Her stomach lurched.
She just felt…
Not like herself. She was an orphan now. That was kind of a terrible realization. She knew that when you were an adult nobody thought of it that way, that’s how it felt. Drifting and rootless.
She had thought that cutting ties with Romeo would feel like a triumph.
She had thought that maybe she would go on dates. Be a normal person.
Right after it had happened, when she was on an adrenaline high she had called Catherine, her roommate from college, and she had told her that she had finally gotten her stepbrother out of her system.
“Well, thank God,” she said. “Now maybe you can have a functional relationship with a nice man who doesn’t want to degrade you while he has sex with you.”
Catherine had been joking, but then it had forced Heather to reflect on the fact that she and Romeo had gotten a fair amount of pleasure out of degrading each other.
And then that had sent her into a spiral where she had spent the entire night replaying what had happened.
The most intense, soul-searing moment of her entire life.
Why were things so complicated with him? It didn’t make any sense. It should just be nothing. Especially after all that.
She put her glasses back on and tried to focus on her reading, and her stomach turned.
She felt so nauseous and gross this morning. For a while she had been blaming that on her lack of sleep. She always felt gross when she didn’t sleep. But it felt more pronounced now, out of the vague nausea territory and into something a lot more…frightening.
She took a breath, and stood up, trying to stretch and ease the unsettled feeling in her stomach.
A message popped up on her computer, not in her office interface, but from Catherine.
You’ve been very quiet, and I’m starting to think I need to send someone after you.
I’m fine.
Are you?
Feeling a little bit sick today, actually. But I’ve been feeling rough the last month and a ⒈／⒉.
It’s to be expected, I guess.
I guess.
Suddenly, she felt like she was about to lose her breakfast, such as it was, and she ran into the bathroom, where she cast up her coffee and biscotti.
She went back to her messages.
A little bit worse off than I thought, since I’m vomiting up my coffee, which I need to survive.
There was a long time between that message and a response.
I feel like this is a stupid question, but there’s no chance that you’re pregnant?
Heather stared at the message. And stared and stared.
There had never before in her entire life been a chance that she could be pregnant.
Everything that had happened had cast such a haze over her that she hadn’t been thinking clearly.
She had been so busy cataloging how fuzzy her brain was that she hadn’t thought at all about her cycle. She also hadn’t thought about…
They hadn’t used a condom.
She had felt so raw, so exposed, so stripped bare by the entire thing that she hadn’t given that enough thought. Hadn’t done anything in the aftermath to prevent pregnancy.
“Oh my God,” she said. Out loud into the silence of the room.
Are you pregnant?
The question flashed up on the screen, and then her phone rang. She picked it up. “I don’t know,” Heather said, because she knew exactly what Catherine was about to do, and that was ask the same question again, but this time verbally.
“You need to get a test.”
“It can’t be… We only did it the one time.”
“Surely you paid better attention in health class than that. Your education was really expensive.”
“I know,” Heather snapped. “But it’s just… That can’t be. I’m never supposed to have to deal with that man again.”
“Did you use a condom when you had sex with that man?”
“No,” she said.
“Heather…”
“I know.”
“You can still… I know it’s not ideal, and I know it’s nothing that you would’ve planned, but you don’t have to be connected to him if you don’t want to be.”
She sat with that, for a very long moment. And Catherine just let her. In the silence, in the reality of it all.
“I can’t not tell him,” she said.
“Why not? He’s awful to you.”
“I know that. I know that, but his father was so wonderful to me. He changed my entire life. And…” She swallowed hard. “My mom was a single mom. It was us against the world, and I’m alone.”
“You’re not alone. You have me.”
“I know that. I’m extraordinarily grateful for it.
But the truth is, I was just sitting here feeling so incredibly sad.
My mother worked so hard in order to support us, and I don’t even have to worry about that.
I’m working because I choose to. My stepfather just…
died and made me a multimillionaire, which isn’t even fair.
But it’s the way that it is. It’s what happened.
I don’t have any excuse for not taking care of the child, and if it wasn’t Romeo it would be straightforward.
I would just keep the baby and never tell the father. But he’s going to know.”
“You don’t even know yet,” Catherine said. “Have somebody go get you a pregnancy test. You’re rich.”
“I don’t even have to be rich to do that—there are apps for that.”
“Well. Send somebody.”
So she did. And she waited. And waited. She and Catherine were messaging now instead of talking on the phone, as she paced around waiting for the test. Reality and denial were warring inside of her. It couldn’t be possible. The odds of her getting pregnant after one sexual encounter seemed so…
Like fate.
No. She refused to believe that anything like fate was wrapped up in Romeo Accardi. Yes, it had been inevitable that they were going to do that. But inevitable that they were going to find themselves together forever?
No.
Then on top of that she had to contend with the fact that she might become a mother. That didn’t scare her. That would actually make her happy. If it weren’t for Romeo. He was the wild card. He was the problem.
The doorbell rang and she nearly jumped out of her skin.
She buzzed the courier up to her floor, and they left the package outside.
She waited for them to leave, then opened it up and took hold of the bag.
With shaking hands she discarded the bag onto the floor, and began to unwrap the test on her way into the bathroom, leaving a trail of trash behind her.
She read the instructions carefully—she had never even seen one of these out of the box in person before—and followed those instructions as carefully as possible.
It seemed like a cruel thing that it took minutes for the test to reveal the answer. Both too short and too long.
But the two lines were inevitable. Undeniable.
She was pregnant with Romeo’s baby.
Her stepbrother.
The man who hated her more than he hated just about anything else in the entire world.
That man.
She put her hand on her stomach. She was pregnant with his baby. Pregnant with his baby. It seemed laughable. It seemed ridiculous.
She called Catherine.
“It was positive.”
“Do you want to change your mind? Because I will fly there immediately. I’ll give you whatever you need. I’ll help you.”
“I’m not changing my mind. If there’s one thing I’ve never been it’s afraid of him. I’m not scared of him now. It’s just…exhausting.”
“Of course it is.”
“You think I’m crazy.”
“It’s not up to me. You and he have some kind of connection that I can’t understand.
I’ve never met the guy, but I’ve seen pictures of him.
I understand why you’re attracted to him, but he’s awful to you.
I’ve never understood why you… You have feelings for him, Heather.
That’s always been obvious. He’s half of what you talk about in any given conversation. ”
“My feelings for him are toxic and negative.”
“I think you wish they were. Only that. Anyway, let me know how he reacts.”
“I’m going to have to get on a plane. I can’t tell him over the phone.” Just thinking about it made her laugh. “I’ve never spoken to him on the phone. Of all the ridiculous things. But why would I? We don’t like each other. We don’t talk to each other. This is ridiculous.”
“I agree. It’s ridiculous. But you have to deal with him in the way that only you can.”
So she did one of the first very rich person things she had ever done as a woman who’d gotten a substantial inheritance. She booked a charter on a private jet. And then she cried the entire way to Italy.