Chapter Five #2
The next week passed in a blur. Given their honeymoon had been cancelled, Leo had started working again.
Not going into the office but working from home.
A somewhat remote yet powerful presence, as he gave Simone her space.
Whilst recovering, she hadn’t realised how much sleep she’d need, or how much even the little things took out of her.
They’d taken a quiet walk to the local café since she was getting cabin fever and she’d slept for half a day afterwards.
Her doctor had reassured her on the follow up visit that it was completely normal and she was doing remarkably well, even though her head felt like it was stuffed full of oatmeal when she woke up each morning.
All she wanted was to feel like herself again.
At least her hair had been washed and styled, which helped.
She was pleased with how it looked in a new below the shoulder bob.
Quite a bit shorter because of how medical staff had cut into it but she could still wear it up if she wanted, which she took as a small win in what felt like weeks of losses.
She went to the bathroom and dabbed on some concealer, hiding the worst of her remaining bruises.
She still looked pale and tired. Nothing a little cream blush wouldn’t fix so she put some of that on too.
After satisfying herself that she looked a bit more human again, Simone walked to her lounger and flopped into it, grabbing her phone.
She hadn’t had much communication with Circolo.
Marchesa had sent her a text asking if she was okay and telling her everything was under control.
Leo had shielded her from all talk of work, saying he didn’t want her to worry about anything, which of course made her worry about everything.
Simone wanted to feel as though things were getting back to some kind of normalcy, so she opened her calendar.
Checked on what she’d missed in those hazy few days when she’d woken, terrified, briefly not knowing where she was or even who she was till she heard Leo’s voice and it came trickling back.
Her diary was absent any of Leo’s appointments, which was strange because his diary was usually back-to-back.
Had he cancelled everything because of her fall?
It seemed shocking to her that he might have when in her experience, his business was everything to him.
She went into his diary and it was all there.
Meetings, the charity ball they were meant to attend.
It must have been a glitch. Yet toggling back to hers… zero.
She flicked to her emails then, squinting and turning down the brightness of her phone’s screen.
Taking it slow as she scrolled because the movement of the screen still made her feel a bit woozy.
Marchesa had done a great job of clearing out most of the admin emails.
There wasn’t much that hadn’t already been read and attended to.
She glimpsed an all-company email from Leo personally, about admin support. Opened and read it.
What. The. Hell.
She gripped her phone hard. He was excluding her? Marchesa was—
Simone stood in a rush. Probably too much of a rush, her head pounding.
It didn’t matter. She stormed to the door of her room and flung it back, marching down the stairs to Leo’s level.
Stalking to the top of the stairs that would take her down to the living area.
As she reached the landing, a flash of something streaked through her, like a sense of déjà vu, her heart pounding against her ribcage.
Simone stopped, took a deep breath. Grabbed the railing and as much as she wanted to run down the staircase in righteous anger, she composed herself and walked slowly, carefully, till she reached the bottom.
Even though she’d taken a moment, it didn’t dampen the sensation scorching and furious, surging through her veins.
He wouldn’t be in his study. He’d turned that into a downstairs bedroom for her, which hadn’t yet been changed back after she’d refused it.
Ha! She’d thought his offer sweet but he was yet someone else in her life who was intent on making decisions for her with no consultation.
The other place she knew he appeared to enjoy was a beautiful terrace off the lounge area that led to the garden, where you could sit at a large table under a pergola covered with grape vines.
‘Leo!’
The sound of a chair scraping back on sandstone tiles grated through her head. The tap, tap, tap of leather soled shoes came closer as Leo jogged into view, his brow furrowed in worry.
Well, he should be concerned.
‘Cara, there’s a problem?’
She pinched the bridge of her nose, the pounding of her heart starting a corresponding pounding in her head.
‘You need painkillers? A doctor?’
She looked up at him. ‘No, Leo. I need you to tell me why you sent an all-company email telling everyone that Marchesa’s now your EA.’
He cocked his head, but didn’t look at all chastened. If anything, his frown deepened.
‘What are you doing looking at your email? Your doctor said you shouldn’t be working—’
‘She said I could have a graduated return starting one day a week and increasing as I felt fit enough. I feel fit now. What I didn’t expect, was that my employer would just…just…sack me!’
Leo held up his hands. ‘Husband.’
‘What? You’re pulling the husband card now?’
‘Simone.’
That tone in his voice. She was sure Leo meant it to sound placating but instead, he sounded so condescending it made her grind her teeth.
‘There’s no need for you to work. I can give you everything you need. You’ve trained Marchesa well and she’ll be able to do the job admirably.’
‘There’s only one problem, husband dearest.’ She lifted her hand, stabbing her fingers into her sternum as if punctuating every word. ‘You. Didn’t. Ask. Me.’
‘I didn’t want you to be concerned about anything. This seemed like a good solution—’
‘As an interim measure. Nothing in our deal said I wouldn’t continue in my role as your EA.’
‘Circumstances change and I don’t understand why—’
She began to pace, trying to expel the furious energy that had overtaken her.
Leo could never understand what it was like, being subject to the whims of others.
She’d fought to be able to make her own decisions and now he was intent on stealing everything away from her.
She’d be entirely reliant on him. And when he decided he didn’t want her any more… What then?
‘We have an agreement, but I will not be kept. Since my twenties, I’ve been employed. I’ve studied to hone my skills as an EA and I’m damned good at my role. Now, you’re taking it all away from me!’
She’d had enough people ruling her life, particularly her parents. Using their money as a weapon to be wielded. She’d left the family when she’d realised they’d never see her as autonomous, only as a chess piece to be moved. Where love was conditional, so long as you fit the family mould.
When she’d walked away Simone had made a promise to herself.
She’d never go back to a situation where she wasn’t in charge of her own destiny.
Sure, she might be married to Leo, but she’d gone into that with her eyes wide open to help Holly.
She’d been fooled into thinking that he’d begun to care about her, even if only a little, when what he really wanted, was to run her life how he saw fit.
‘Come, sit down,’ Leo said.
Her stomach twisted into agonizing knots. ‘I don’t need to sit down. I need you to fix this.’
‘Simone, you look like if you don’t sit down, you’re going to fall down. Please.’
He moved towards her slowly as though he was approaching a wild animal.
Leo touched her elbow gently. A sensation shivered through her, liquid and warm.
Too pleasant and comforting. She hated that she felt like this.
That he was right, because the emotion of it all had taken it out of her.
She felt like she was wilting like a flower in baking sunshine.
Knees a little unsteady. Exhausted, like all her batteries had run empty.
‘Do I have to pick you up again and put you on the sofa?’
For a fleeting second a flare of heat rocketed right through her. The memory of how it felt to be in his arms. How solid. How safe. How cared for.
Yet he didn’t care. If he had, he wouldn’t have done this.
She needed to wrestle back the momentum. ‘Fine, let’s sit down then.’
Simone walked to the couch and lowered herself onto it. It was deep and as comfortable as the one in her bedroom. The moment she sank into it she decided she was never going to leave. She wanted to curl up and sleep the week away.
Leo sat next to her. Close enough, but the gulf between them seemed unbreachable.
‘No one visited you at the hospital.’
Her heart rate spiked, sending another pounding into her head. She touched her temple. Why was he bringing that up?
‘I asked for your emergency contacts from HR. Called Holly. She said she couldn’t come because she’s pregnant and doctors won’t allow her to travel. Insisted I get in touch with your parents. Gave me their details. Your father emailed me in response to keep him appraised, should I be so inclined.’
Simone knew he’d been in touch with Holly.
The moment Simone had been well enough she’d contacted her sister to reassure her that she was fine because she didn’t want Holly to worry any more than she had already.
It was bad for her blood pressure. They’d exchanged messages since, Simone downplaying the aftereffects of her fall.
Holly hadn’t said anything about Leo contacting their parents.
‘I told you I was estranged from them.’
Leo’s eyes tightened. The expression was one that looked a lot like concern but she was used to that being wrapped up in a desire to control. She wasn’t buying into it, not any more.
‘You were injured. Seriously. If it weren’t for me, who would have cared for you?’
It was as if the world stopped. She gripped onto the arm of the sofa because that terrible truth slammed into her so suddenly.
She really had no one. Work was her life.
She didn’t have many close friends because those she’d thought she was close to once, had laughed at her behind her back.
She was caring for Holly, not the other way round.
Her throat tightened. What if she’d been alone, and fallen down a flight of stairs with no one to find her? She might not be here right now.
Simone shook her head. What was she thinking? Her New York studio had only been one level. There were no stairs to fall down there. She was jumping at shadows, at possibilities that would never have arisen.
It still didn’t take away the creeping, terrifying thought that she could have died when she’d barely even lived. It was like a terrible weight of realisation pressing on her chest, making it hard to breathe.
‘I take care of myself. That’s what most people do. You don’t get to make decisions for my life.’
Everything about this, how she’d thought he cared, seemed changed.
Like when she’d arrived at this house and he’d shown her to her beautiful room.
Or taken her to Lake Garda to see a magnificent waterfall and garden that few people ever would.
Then when she’d woken in hospital to find him by her bedside.
Those fond memories curdled in her stomach like sour milk.
‘I was trying to help so you didn’t need to worry.’
‘And yet here I am, more worried than before.’ She pinched the bridge of her nose. Trying to hold back the burn in her eyes.
Leo reached out and took her hand gently. Rubbed his thumb over the back of it. Anyone looking at them might see this as a tender moment.
Looks could be so deceiving.
‘What do you need?’ he asked.
She looked at him. His expression seemed so open, concerned.
She wanted to believe what her brain told her she was seeing.
That he really did care. That this was an aberration and he was just trying to do the right thing, not run her life.
But trust was a hard-won thing and she’d been here before.
People wanting to steer her life because they didn’t like the way she drove it herself.
‘My job back. To ease into things as I feel ready. But you can’t exclude me from making decisions. Not ever again. I though you respected my autonomy.’
Now she was scared he didn’t respect anything at all.