Chapter Thirteen #3
She waited for him to speak, her eyes on his face. He looked uncomfortable but also determined, like he had a rotten tooth poisoning his system.
‘Alex wasn’t the charming, jovial, great guy everyone thought he was.’ His words left his mouth in a rush as if he couldn’t get them out fast enough. He shoved his hand into his hair and tugged the expertly cut strands. ‘He was difficult, rude and often obnoxious. Entitled.’
Misery skittered across Taz’s face. ‘But in my father’s eyes, he could do no wrong. His behaviour was excused because of his extraordinary talent at throwing cars around the track.’
It was so strange to hear about this other side of the sports hero.
Knowing how hard it was for him to open up, to share this with her, Millie placed her hand on his knee and squeezed.
She was still processing his words when Taz spoke again.
‘I wanted to go to the same driving academy Alex attended, but my father refused to pay. I continued to beg, he continued to say no. I think he got a kick out of my desperation because, more than anything, I wanted to race.’ Taz rubbed the back of his neck.
‘I begged, pleaded, ranted, raged, and he eventually gave in. I think he was desperate to get me to shut up.’
He’d been desperate to go to such lengths to push his father into giving him the same opportunity he had Alex. He must’ve felt so lonely, battered by being consistently rejected. Her heart ached for the boy he’d been.
‘My father caved. I started in F3, then was given a chance with another team at F1 level. I only moved to the De Rossi team because Ben died, and the press gave my father a hard time about not employing his other talented son.’ She heard the bitterness in his voice and understood it. She’d be bitter too.
Taz fiddled with the strap of his expensive watch and twisted his leather and silver bracelet around his wrist. He looked nervous, his knee was bouncing up and down, and Millie laid her hand on his arm.
This was hard for him, and he was worried about saying too much. ‘I’m still happy to sign that NDA,’ she murmured, nuclear-strike serious.
‘I wouldn’t tell you this if I didn’t trust you completely, Millie,’ he replied. He held her eyes, and Millie felt like she was taking possession of his heart and soul. She tried to dislodge the tight ball in her throat by swallowing. Something was happening between them, but she wasn’t sure what.
‘I need to tell you about the night he died.’
She shook her head. Discussing Alex was painful, and he’d endured enough. ‘You don’t, Taz, because everyone knows that he slipped and hit his head.’
He released a half laugh, half snort and slid his fingers between hers, his grip tight.
‘That was the end result, Millie. Nobody but my father’s very expensive attorney and I know what happened before that.
I want to tell you. Alex flew to New York for the weekend.
His fiancée was away. He did that often.
He called it Alex Time. Alex dropping off the grid was commonplace, and everyone figured he spent the weekend on his own, decompressing.
’ Taz dropped his head and stared at the floor.
‘That weekend in New York, he didn’t know my dad was staying in the Upper West Side house, that he was upstairs. ’
Millie bit her lip. What was he about to tell her?
‘My father heard a scream, came downstairs and saw a teenager standing in the kitchen. She was young, half-undressed and stoned. There were coke lines on the table, and they’d been drinking.
She was crying. He asked where Alex was, and she pointed to him.
He was on the floor. She told him he’d run to answer his phone, slipped and cracked his head open on the edge of the marble counter.
’ He rubbed his hand over his face. ‘My dad held him while he died.’
Millie wiped away a tear. The pain in his voice made her heart ache.
In a monotone, Taz went on to explain that his dad had called his lawyer instead of 911.
The attorney took him upstairs and when he allowed Matteo downstairs later, there was no sign of the drugs, alcohol or the girl.
The first responders and Alex’s body were gone, and the house had been cleaned. People had been paid off.
Matteo’s simple explanation—that he came downstairs and found Alex on the floor with a cracked head—was accepted.
It was the truth, but not the whole truth.
After Matteo suffered his first stroke that night, somebody had been required to make decisions, to run the De Rossi empire, and he’d stepped up.
When Matteo had died, Taz became the keeper of his and Alex’s secrets.
Millie wrapped her arms as far as they could go around Taz’s shoulders and hugged him. He buried his face in her neck for less than a minute before pulling back. ‘Don’t cry for someone you didn’t know, Mils. It breaks my heart.’
Millie swiped her hand over her face. ‘I’m crying for you! Nobody should have to go through that.’
He cradled her face in his hands and wiped away her tears with his thumbs. ‘Do you know why I told you my biggest secret, Millie?’
She looked into his eyes, so tender, so sincere, his expression so wide open, and shook her head. ‘No, I have no idea,’ she whispered.
‘Partly because I want you to know everything about me, both good and bad. I’ve never wanted that before, have always put a wall up between myself and everyone else, shown them what I wanted them to see.
But it’s also because I trust you, Millie.
You’re the first person I’ve told, and you’ll be the last.’ He smiled and kissed her nose.
‘I don’t want us to have any secrets going forward. ’
‘Going forward?’ She sounded like a parrot but couldn’t help it. She was struggling to catch up.
He stroked her cheek. ‘You’re the only one for me, Millie. You’re my championship, my ultimate win. Nothing compares to having you in my life.’
She stared at him, unblinking. What was happening right now?
‘Life isn’t about winning races or championships or fame and fortune.
Life is seeing your lovely face every morning, being able to look at you when my temper spikes but you smile and all the frustration fades away.
It’s about making love with you and maybe, one day, making the family neither of us had. ’
Millie held his wrists, unable to believe what he was saying. She lifted an eyebrow. ‘Want to run that by me again?’ She needed him to keep explaining until it made sense.
His open smile liquified her knees. ‘I want to be better than the man I was before, Mils. Since meeting you, I’ve had to up my game, and that’s been the best gift anyone could’ve given me.
I want to be a better friend, boss, partner and lover.
’ He sent her a look so full of admiration, love and sincerity that her knees would have buckled if she’d been standing.
‘You’re real and lovely and kind, occasionally feisty, and so damn patient. ’
‘You forgot good in bed.’ She had to joke because if she didn’t, she’d start to cry again.
His eyes turned to liquid silver. ‘You’re amazing in bed.’ He lifted her hand and kissed the back of her knuckles. ‘And when you look at me like that, your eyes a little purple, a lot hot, I can’t think about anything but getting you naked.’
She reached for him, but he shook his head and scooted down the couch, out of her reach. He held his hands up, palms facing her. ‘I’ve still got things to say.’
There was more?
Taz rubbed the back of his neck. ‘In my safe in my apartment in London is my mum’s engagement ring. She loved it, and I want to give it to you.’
She slapped her hand on her heart. ‘Oh, that’s—’ Wait, what? Why did he want to give her his mum’s ring?
Taz moved off the couch and went down on one knee. What was he doing? He looked nervous, unsure. He was putting himself out there… .way out there. Tears burned her eyes. It was so unlike Taz.
He swallowed, his cheeks pink beneath his olive skin. ‘Millie, I love you. Will you be my wife?’
She cocked her head, happiness bubbling inside her. ‘Pretend wife, or real wife?’ she asked, a part of her needing to make sure he wasn’t joking.
‘My very-real, stay-with-me-forever and keep-me-out-of-trouble wife.’ He looked down at the hard floor and lifted an eyebrow. ‘This is the most uncomfortable position known to man, so a quick answer would be appreciated.’
She leaned forward and flung her arms around his neck. She was loved, and she’d found herself and her place. Best of all, she’d found herself before she’d found her man. She knew who she was, and that was everything.
‘Yes, I’ll marry you, Taz.’
Taz rested his forehead against hers. ‘Thank God,’ he murmured, his lips claiming hers. After a tender kiss, he pulled back and cradled the side of her face in his palm. ‘You, this…it’s everything. Nothing will top this moment, Millie.’
‘Not even winning a fourth championship?’
Taz smiled at her. ‘Not even close, sweetheart.’ His voice cracked with emotion as the last of his shields disintegrated and his emotional walls collapsed. ‘You’re…you’re my every breath, my future, the mother of my children, my best friend. God, you’re everything.’
She was someone’s—no, Taz’s everything. And for the first time, Millie’s world, and life, made complete sense.