Chapter Twelve #2
‘Grow up,’ he told her, forgetting he was trying to be nice. ‘You know damn well it was not my secret to share. I gave her my word.’
Her breath sucked in. When she thought about it, she did know that. In fact, she was proud of this man whose word was his bond.
‘I never lied,’ he said. ‘So take that back.’
She was a little too proud to do so.
‘It was a lie by omission,’ Liliana said.
‘Really.’ Rafiq’s smile was incredulous, his face menacingly close, and Mr Nice Guy was out of the window. ‘Let’s talk about lies by omission, shall we? Is there something you haven’t told me, Liliana?’
Liliana blinked. She could feel the roar of her pulse in her ears as his eyes bored into her and she wished she could faint or something or run out of the VIP lounge and onto the tarmac. Anything to escape Rafiq’s knowing eyes.
‘You’re pregnant.’ Rafiq didn’t ask if she was; he told her he knew.
‘I—I’m not sure…’ she stammered. ‘There’s a chance,’ she admitted.
‘Liar,’ he said. ‘You know damn well. That’s the real reason why you ran off at the ball.
You weren’t scared that I was royal—you just didn’t want to tell me.
’ That smile was pure black. ‘And there was me wondering why you were suddenly shy last night when you came to bed. I couldn’t work out why you were covering yourself when you’d just bared your…
’ He stopped himself, and she could feel his ragged breathing on her cheek as perhaps their minds darted to last night.
The anger had turned to passion, because the energy between them had changed, and his smile was a different one, slow and sensual, as if he were seducing her right here on this very spot.
And doing a rather good job of it actually, because she wanted to kiss that mouth, grab on to him, but the baby was too important for her to lose her thought process to this man.
She needed a calm head and that was impossible when he was near. She had visions of herself in this land, surrounded by children, Rafiq and Yara heading off on royal visits, embroiled in their lies.
‘Stay,’ he said. ‘We’ll go back to the desert, we’ll get the doctor, take a test…’
He was moving in to kiss her and she didn’t know if he was cross or pleased about the baby, or if he even cared.
The hardest thing she had ever done was turn her head and deny Rafiq.
‘I have a test with me.’
He released her. ‘You haven’t taken it?’
‘No, I wanted to wait.’ She shook her head, unable to look at him.
‘Isn’t it better that we find out for sure together?’ He frowned. ‘Liliana, don’t deny me this part.’
She nodded and looked around and then slipped away to their private loos.
The loos really were nicer in Rafiq’s world.
She did the test and then sat on a high-backed chair, staring at her pale reflection and wild but still glossy hair, going over what he’d just said.
Don’t deny me this part.
He would be there for her.
Rafiq had told her that much.
He would be there in everything and draw her closer and closer to his heart, then shut her out when it suited him. When duty or his suitable wife or non-bastard children called.
She looked down to the indicator and the answer was as expected, the truth she’d tried hard not to know.
Liliana walked out and Rafiq was standing waiting for her but his expression she couldn’t read.
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘I am.’
‘Wow.’ He took the stick from her and stared at the little pink cross, and felt an odd mix of fear and terror, combined with an odd knowing that the gig was up.
That like it or not, love was here.
His thoughts on the subject he would deal with later. Right now, a very pale Liliana came first.
‘It’s going to be okay.’ He drew her into his arms.
And for a moment she leaned on him, breathed him in, and could truly just remain there forever, and let him carry her out and take her back to his desert abode.
Where Rafiq would no doubt tell her how things must be.
No.
She lifted her head, pulled back a touch from his embrace. Her request was the same as it had been moments ago. ‘I want to go home.’
‘Liliana.’ He almost laughed out loud at her request. ‘I have just found out you are having my baby.’
‘I mean it. You always said I could leave anytime.’
He took a breath, remembering his promise.
Of course she wanted to be at home; perhaps she needed time with her mother, and to just get her head around things. ‘Very well.’ Reluctantly he released her. ‘I’ll come and see you in the next few days.’
Rafiq was so arrogant, Liliana thought. So damn sure of himself, so certain that she just needed a few days away to clear her head and then she’d be ready to fall into bed, or to toe the line.
Most terrifying of all, he might just be right. But then she thought of her mother, waiting for a phone call, jumping to her lover’s command.
‘You don’t know me at all, do you?’
‘Meaning?’
‘I don’t want to see you when you’re next in London.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Just that.’ She was shaking inside but she forced her voice steady. ‘It would be easier on me if we don’t see each other until the baby is born.’
‘You’re being absurd. You are pregnant with my child. Of course I have to see you—there is a lot to sort out.’
‘We can sort things out over the phone, or via email. I shall never keep you from seeing your child.’ His eyes narrowed then, and she saw a flash of the warrior she was up against, but Liliana refused to back down. ‘I’ll never be your mistress, Rafiq.’
‘But you know about Yara now. You know why we can’t be together just yet…’
‘Just yet,’ she repeated. ‘I think your idea of “just yet” might last for quite some time. Say the next forty years or so…’ she continued. ‘I think you actually like the edicts, Rafiq. I think you like playing by the rules—or bending them to suit you.’
‘Meaning?’
‘Oh, please…’ she said and gestured to the lounge, to the scattered cushions on the floor, and he had no idea what she meant but then she continued her speech. ‘I think you like the rules, especially when they serve your cold heart well.’
‘It’s not cold when it’s with you.’
‘How often will that be?’ she challenged, and when he didn’t respond, she knew that nothing really had changed. ‘Twice a week, or on my birthday, or whenever you can squeeze me unnoticed in?’ She refused now to cry. ‘Can we walk out of here together?’ she asked. ‘Can you see me to my plane?’
He didn’t answer.
‘I thought not.’ She was surprisingly calm as she collected her bag. ‘Unless you’re completely free, I don’t want to see you.’
‘Careful what you wish for, Liliana,’ he warned. ‘As you just pointed out, I play by the rules.’
‘Meaning?’
‘If you say you don’t want to see me, you absolutely won’t.’
‘Good.’
‘I shall call for updates about the baby.’
He didn’t pull her into his embrace, and neither did he kiss her goodbye.
And although she didn’t cry, this farewell was the hardest.