Chapter Seven #3
‘Stop it, Gabriel,’ she whispered, but her legs were propelling her back to the bed. She sighed with pleasure when she was nestled back next to him, when she could feel the hardness of his body against hers, and then his arm came around her, drawing her close.
‘This just isn’t on,’ she said shakily, placing the flat of her hand against his chest and feeling the steady beat of his heart.
‘But it’s not a mistake, Jen, and I don’t think it’s something we can walk away from and pretend never took place. It happened, and we’ll have a conversation about what we do about it. And what I’d like to do about it is to carry on. It’s not as though we’re not practically engaged to be married.’
‘This isn’t funny.’
‘I know it’s not, but just think about the alternative…’
‘You mean—’ she tilted her face so that she was looking at him, her blue eyes serious ‘—the sensible one where we put this behind us?’
‘The very one,’ he murmured. ‘If we try to pretend we never made love, don’t you think that every time we look at one another, all we’ll be able to see is the elephant in the room?
Do you have any idea how impossible it will be for us to return to the place we left behind?
To enjoy the friendship we once had? There would be too much unfinished business between us. We’d never survive it.’
‘Don’t say that.’
‘Logically, I know we shouldn’t have done what we did, but my body doesn’t agree.
My body is telling me that making love with you was mind-blowing, and I don’t regret a second of it.
Do you? Have any regrets? Regrets that aren’t tied up with common sense?
Tell me the absolute truth, Jen. If you do, then I’ll walk away and do what you ask, pretend it never happened.
If you really think you could live with that, then say so. ’
His words carved an inexorable path through her.
She thought about what he’d said. She thought about seeing him, knowing that they’d made love, wanting more yet existing in a constant state of permanent, agonising denial.
What would they talk about when they were alone together?
Would they end up in stilted silence, searching around for things to say, knowing that what was unspoken was hovering in the air between them?
Why was she so scared? She would never, ever completely lose herself in this man. Knowing him as well as she did had its advantages! She would never, could never, compromise her heart with any guy who was a commitment-phobe.
She balled her open hand into a soft fist and tapped it helplessly against his chest.
‘I don’t regret it,’ she murmured on a helpless sigh. ‘I enjoyed it.’
‘I know.’
‘You’re so cocky, Gabriel Garcia.’
‘Only with you.’
‘Is that so?’
He didn’t answer. His kissed her slowly and felt her melt in his arms. The rush of satisfaction was so intense it knocked him for six. How many times could one man make love in a night? Countless, it would seem, because he could feel the stirring of his erection as it began to push against her.
‘We’ll eventually exhaust one another, Jen, trust me.’
‘Of course we will. I know that.’ She parted her legs and let him rub his hardness against her, luxuriating in the way he was pleasuring her. She closed her eyes and held on to his shoulders. For a couple of seconds, he lost himself in the sensation of simply watching her.
‘And when that happens,’ he heard himself continue, ‘all this will be behind us.’
‘I know. Why are you still talking?’
Gabriel had no idea, because this kind of chat usually left him cold. He was driven to conclude something, some line of thought that needed to be slotted into place.
He laughed sheepishly and edged back so that he could look at her. Her cheeks were flushed, her mouth parted and her eyes were drowsy with desire.
At this point, turned on as he was, there should have been no words, no conversation. Right now he should have been doing what he wanted to do instead of…talking.
‘Good question,’ he admitted. ‘Maybe I’m turning into one of those sensitive types who writes poetry and hugs trees.’
‘Now wouldn’t that be a turn-up for the books?’
‘I just want to make sure that you’re on board with all of this.
I know…’ What did he know? He was the one doing the talking…
She seemed perfectly fine with their decision after a little hesitation.
Since when was he a guy who wanted to analyse situations that required no analysis?
‘I know,’ he continued heavily, ‘that this isn’t your kind of thing, sleeping with a man when there’s no prospect of it going in the direction you might want.
I just don’t want you to…well, to get hurt.
I’m experienced. I can handle this situation—’
‘Oh, for goodness’ sake, Gabriel!’ She clicked her tongue impatiently and rolled her eyes.
‘All these warnings! I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be here or if I thought I was going to get hurt.
Why would I? Who wants to start something if they know they’re going to be hurt at the end of it?
You’re right. We need to…get this fever out of our system, for want of a better way of putting it.
And once we do, it’ll be just as if we’ve caught a bug and got over it.
When that happens, we’ll tell your mum that it’s all over, and we won’t be lying.
It’ll genuinely be over, and we’ll return to being the friends we’ve always been. ’